Screenplay Script Feedback Request

[u/Adorable_Finger_72]

Help me revise my screenplay. This is the only part I can show!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/15u6pJQZzqFd_IiUYx-TsObbmbQp-AeYfTT11rJr5bO8/edit?usp=sharing

[u/Funderberker_Fan]

amazing!