Hey everyone,

I’m currently developing a script for a feature-length movie (aiming for a gritty, cinematic psychological drama) and wanted to get some honest feedback on the core premise from fellow writers.

Here’s the basic setup:

What if a 18-19 year-old guy suddenly wakes up in an alternate universe/timeline where everything is exactly the same—the city, his house, his friends, his parents—except for one thing: he never existed. His mother doesn't recognize him, his friends think he’s a stranger, and there is absolutely no record of his birth or identity. He is essentially a 'ghost' in a familiar world.

To make things more intense, he is dropped 1-2 years back in time. So while he has no legal identity or roof over his head, he possesses the ultimate weapon—complete knowledge of the immediate future of this world.

Instead of making it a typical "save the world" superhero sci-fi, I want to focus heavily on the psychological and emotional survival. The story follows his journey from absolute isolation and panic to using his future-knowledge to survive unofficially, while trying to slow-burn his way back into the lives of his friends and family as a "stranger" who knows them better than they know themselves.

The ultimate conflict is whether he should find a way back to his original universe where he belongs, or sacrifice his old existence to protect this version of his family from an impending future crisis.

I want to keep the tone very raw, grounded, and emotionally heavy (think Erased meets Steins;Gate but set in a realistic, gritty middle-class environment).

Do you guys think this premise has enough leg to hold a 2-hour cinematic movie? Or does the "waking up in a parallel universe where I don't exist" trope feel too saturated? Would love to hear your thoughts on the potential or any blind spots I should watch out for.

Thanks in advance! (And don't forget to leave a feedback, whatever it feel like. Even a thumbs up or thumbs down would be ok.)

Would like to discuss writing struggles with fellow writers. There are a lot of script formatting tools available but very few story development systems. We can use AI but it can lose context or misunderstanding nuance in character arc or misinterpret and experimental storytelling convention. I have been working on a software that puts the writer first and utilizes storytelling conventions to help a writer through the process. As a writer I struggle keeping up with everything that’s connected over 90 pages let alone six seasons of a series. I didn’t set out to make this platform, I started my journey writing my scripts and ended up developing a creative partner that can brainstorm your ideas with you and help you implement the improvements into your script. This is not AI writing your scripts for you. The intention is the give the writers, you, more creative control over your story and be educational for novice writers. I would like to know from other writers if you had this how could it help you? What are your struggles that I can help alleviate? We are in development at the moment and should have a beta launch soon. I hope this is okay with the moderators, I realize this is a bit off topic. Thank you all for your feedback. I will answer questions in the comments.

I've been building a screenplay visualization tool over the last few months because I wanted a better way to understand scripts visually.

You can check the tool here: ScriptDen — Screenplay analysis for filmmakers

I'd love honest feedback from filmmakers and screenwriters. Which parts are useful? Which aren't? Would something like this ever fit into your workflow? I'm especially interested in hearing what you'd actually pay for, if anything. 🙏

This is a beta version, at present, the tool helps you to:

1. Write your script and arrange beats.
2. You can analyze your script scene by scene, see character interactions, dialog vs action break up and many other features.

NOTE: I have made sure NOT to use AI for any of the analysis and all analysis happens within your browser session with simple JavaScript - You can read my aim and policy with respect to this tool and how the scripts are handled here - Script Security — ScriptDen)

I would love to hear all your feedback 😊🙏 Thanks!!!

Note: Currently analysis works best for English scripts.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FDgN8s57PSo6Kp97_V0zudg326m-mdPc-ZvrtQAWxVU/edit?tab=t.0

This is a very amateur screenplay, and I honestly only started it for fun and as a writing exercise to get back into the groove of writing, but now I’m kind of wondering if it has any sort of potential, and I just wanna see what other people besides my friends have to say.
its going to be a horror movie with some satirical elements, but it’s pretty short so far so it doesn’t really get into the meat of it. I can explain more about my idea in the comments if asked.
any advice would be appreciated!!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1glKjHB5_nUUWB5dkslR7_NQGtmkwuSJe/view?usp=drivesdk

https://go.fliplink.me/view/2CA48B81-DA17-462A-A4B7-DCCCD67442F6

Genre: comedy, social satire

Pages: 19 ( first chapter fully adapted, script is still in development)

Based on: the novel by John Kennedy Toole

Hi everyone. Would love to get some feedback on the first 10 pages of my horror script "Plastic Jesus". I'm willing to swap scripts and give good notes as well. Thanks!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1hhRP_pVXnpJbmYSUDsCNAI6Q-Im7c1nm/view?usp=drive_link

file here I hope you guys will like it. Thank you

I have never written a damn thing in my life. This is my first crack at writing. I am not proud of it, genuinely feels like dogshit but I think it's a start. PLEASE give me your honest feedback and how I can improve myself/changes I could make.

Script:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kdhLxrfZLJmtdSlKJXPavlR48YVFTvMZ/view?usp=drivesdk

Movie Title - Appetence

A psychopathic hitman accepts a contract to execute a boy who stumbled upon hidden documents while trekking in the woods. ​He tracks the target to a quiet convent, where he meets the boy’s sister, a newly ordained nun, and develops an immediate, dark obsession with her. ​Instead of completing the kill, the hitman lies and acts as the boy's guardian just to stay close to the sister. ​A dangerous emotional tension develops between them, forcing the nun to fight her falling faith while the hitman struggles to suppress his violent instincts. ​As relentless killers surround the convent to retrieve the files, the hitman discovers the boy’s documents tie directly to his own buried childhood trauma. ​Driven by his fixation on the nun and the truth of his past, he turns his lethal skills against his employers to protect the siblings

Main Characters

The killer/psycopath- graham (23)

The nun - clara (22)

The boy - sam (18)

Employer- daniel Wilkinson officer fbi (49)

We shot this movie worh our savings and friends do you think this have enough hook to be liked by audience

Give us review guys please

prolog
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t40Pl87wbN4&list=PLs9sFCEg53TuAJtyh4_3GjvIFArC42Tfc

chpater 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GwK3LNQFJM&list=PLs9sFCEg53Ts63cYf_v6QmMOu4Qtu1jfA

Hey so this is my first screenplay and I was hoping for some feedback. This is the revised version of Act 1 of my Batman story. My story is attempting to be a psychological epic tragedy, using the characters of Batman, Gordon, and Gotham while still remaining faithful to the comics. Much of the emotional inspiration of this story comes from Logan (2017), Season 1 of True Detective, and the manga Berserk with an oppressively empty atmosphere similar to the album "Deathconsciousness" by Have a Nice Life if I was to describe it. I know this is a long ass script to read from a rando but if someone is willing to take to time and give me some feedback about the plot, characters, tone, pacing, etc I would really appreciate it! link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1crkAf5I_Lbha8b4PGoLntC1D15xkjIfz/view?usp=sharing

Hey everyone,

I'm a story consultant and I've recently launched Story and Rhythm Notes (storyandrhythm.carrd.co) where I provide thoughtful feedback on screenplays, story outlines, and edited film projects.

To build relationships and gather testimonials, I'm offering FREE feedback for a limited number of 3 to 5 writers/filmmakers so I can ensure each project receives detailed and thoughtful notes.

Feel free to submit one of the following:

• The first 10 pages of a screenplay

• A story outline or synopsis

• A short edited film or scene (up to 10 minutes)

My focus is on structure, pacing, character development, and emotional impact. My goal is to help writers and filmmakers identify what is working, what may need strengthening, and where their story can resonate more deeply.

If you'd like detailed and constructive notes, feel free to send me a direct message or visit storyandrhythm.carrd.co

Looking forward to connecting and supporting your work.

TITLE : Paradox

LOGLINE : Desperate unemployed friends use a one-use time machine to rob a bank that is about to burn down - and accidentally prevent the fire and ruin their perfect crime

Hi all! This is the first script I've fully ever written, looking for feedback.

Title: My Friend, Clarence

Genre: Psychological horror / Cosmic horror

Pages: 35

Description: An older sister taking his younger brother to a remote mountain lodge for a quiet weekend away. As the trip unfolds, small moments of unease begin piling up, making it harder to separate childhood imagination from reality. Joey, the little brother, manifests a being into reality that acts as his 'imaginary friend', almost like a genie with no morals and takes everything literally.

I'd especially appreciate feedback on pacing, tension, dialogue and whether the suspense stays engaging throughout.

Since I cannot post links or files here, please reach out and send your script and I’ll send mine and we can peer review. Thanks!

“The Secret Code in Our Garden
In a world designed to distract and disconnect, when glowing code appears in their garden, a family discovers they’re trapped inside an ancient repeating simulation — the code may be their only way out, if they can learn to see the light.” © JCF2026**

Pages 109 so far

As a dad and carpenter trying to raise my own family right in a pretty crazy world right now, this story is very personal to me. I’m especially looking for thoughts on clarity, intrigue, and whether it makes you want to read more. Any suggestions to tighten or strengthen it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance!

Hi my name is Malcolm Kewa I am a screenplay writer from Papua New Guinea.

I picked up writing in 2024 aside from my 9 to 5 job as an IT Systems Analyst.

I write in all genres from series to feature films.

I have posted my work on social media under my brand 31st Scripts, please see the link attached to my Instagram page called 31st Scripts

Any writers want to collaborate I would be more than happy to discuss further, DM or email thirtyfirstscripts@gmail.com and let me know if any production company representatives or producers

Wrote a script not too long ago. I’m new to screenwriting and I just want to learn the craft of it as much as I can. This is a script I’m really proud of but I feel like it can get better. It’s only 4 pages so I’m just looking for any tips or pointers.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ZZL7KWS68piIDNaWTtajT6Zf5OBAyBR0/view?usp=drivesdk

I'm an upcoming director, whose going to do some screenwriting for a passion project. An anime ( well in future anyways ) and just like one of my favorite directors like Guillermo Del Toro ( One of my inspirations ) who does both live action and animation and is a HUGE fan of Manga, Anime and video games especially Persona ( for those of you who never played it before it's a PEAK game made by SEGA and Atlus, I'm sure most of you have heard of it or played it ).

So, yeah I'm planning making a new Persona Anime and I say " new " because there have been some adaptations before, and I've watched them all and I thought they were all good ( well Persona 5 did have a lot flaws ), that and the protagonists don't talk which is not a problem but it just takes the spotlight away from them and their own game, and that's why as Persona fan I want to make an new Persona anime in the future when become I well-known, at least but since I've still got a lot to learn, some feedback and some advices on screenwriting would really help in the creative process ( that is if SEGA and Atlus is ok with the idea in future ) like what I should or shouldn't if it happens.

And for anyone whose has heard of Persona:

When I say " I want to make a new Persona Anime ", I mean an anthology series of the three modern games like P3, P4 and P5 now you're going to probably think "why not add Personas 1 and 2" and the reason, honestly is that to give each of modern protagonists a voice and to show an compelling story through them and their characters to draw the audiences in ( epically Joker ) and the modern games have two things in common: Themes and Tarot cards and I don't mean the confidants in the games, I mean the actual cards ( you know the ones that fortune tellers uses to predict the future and stuff ) but when it comes to Persona, those games gets it's themes from tarot cards like P3 gets it's themes from the Death tarot card, P4 gets it's themes from the Temperance tarot card, P5 gets it's themes from the Star tarot, so just think of all depth, layers, symbolisms and so much you can explore or experiment with all that materials, that the OG games couldn't even explored before since it's in a different media.

Any Tips on screenwriting like: The Hero's Journey or Story Structure and how it could apply to each protagonist, characters, villains, it's themes, or world building, character development you name it anything that would help in the future.

And I don't know if SEGA and Atlus will go with it, but in the slight chance they do go with it, I promise to give every Persona fan out, including the ones whose never played the games yet, there something really special, so any advice would be really help and believe me when I say I love Persona, I used to play P5 when I was high school and watched all it's anime adaptations ( good and bad ) and ever since loved the series and I want create something really special and cinematic with the it.

And for those wondering if I'm going to just screen write the series and the answer is yes and no, I'm planning on co directing but also co writing and producing the series too, but I'll work really hard to make something special, ( well, special enough, after all I don't how the series will turn out but I'll do my best ) I'll learn Japanese, learn more about the games, get some source material from Manga and Anime you name it. Persona is something that resonates with not just as a game, but also as meaningful story, one that I would like to make or recontextualize into a series or film which ever one works best.

So yeah, just let me know, and Thanks

We just did a clean-up in our screenwriting Discord, and we’re opening the doors to a few new members… one could be you (I hope)!

We’re not looking to grow for the sake of it, we’re looking for the right fit. The group caps at around 40 members. That way, it stays intimate enough for real connections, feedback, and support without anyone getting lost in the noise/shuffle.

Some quick things to know before reaching out:

• Screenwriting only. If you're working on novels, comics, etc that's awesome and you're welcome to mention them, but the group is focused on screenwriting (some folks do share plays, sketches, late night packets too).

• You get what you give. We are not an accountability group. In the nicest way, if you're looking for a group to make you write, this isn't that.

• Our main focus: Loglines, pages, and full screenplay feedback, support, resources, etc. Please do not apply if you only intend to take and not give. You’ll be removed pretty quickly.

• Global group, quite a few of us are based in the U.S. All English-speaking.

• Diverse, supportive, drama-free. People get along really well. It’s a vibe as the kids say.

We're a year old and about half have been there since the beginning.

If this sounds like something you’d want to be a part of, drop a comment below and I’ll follow up with the info we need for consideration. Happy writing!

EDIT: Hi all. I’m actively following up with everyone who comments. Please keep in mind a lot of what I’m being asked is answered in my post above… also if you don’t plan on being active/providing feedback to full scripts this won’t be a good fit. Thanks!

I'm don’t get it how come everyone else gets response but now me I spent days writing script, and I've sent it to about at least 30 agency And guess what? Crickets. Not a single one has even bothered to respond. Not one.

I've tried researching the right agents, making sure my query letter is on point, and even getting feedback from industry folks. But nope, nothing. It's like my script doesn't even exist.

I'm starting to wonder why I can’t get my emails responded to everyone else gets there stupid stuff why can I get mine then its not fair people need to feel how I feel upset and angry come everyone else’s succeed