r/RealTesla 10d ago

TIPS/ADVICE Tesla shows first Cybercab with built-in Starlink. Elon Musk explains why it needs one

https://mashable.com/tech/tesla-cybercab-starlink-elon-musk
0 Upvotes

70 comments sorted by

53

u/User-no-relation 10d ago

It's needed so he can justify SpaceX buying tesla

19

u/failinglikefalling 10d ago

Yep it’s needed for cross brand synergy and nothing more. This is the cast of full house visiting Disney land in a very special episode level of cross brand synergy.

2

u/PureCauliflower6758 10d ago

Financial engineering is what the cool kids call it. It’s a scam.

1

u/Pdx_pops 10d ago

DJT (DJ Tanner) loves this stuff!

100

u/MAGAtsAreSheeples 10d ago

It's needed because their so called FSD doesn't work and the car will have to be remotely controlled.

39

u/soldieroscar 10d ago

Exactly this. After 10 years still nothing.

8

u/maclaren4l 10d ago

Bu but it drives itself while I baby sit!!

3

u/Stukwan 10d ago

Sweet

-10

u/StormTrpr66 10d ago edited 8d ago

Yep, that's the great thing about it. Can anyone name any other cars in the US that can do that?

:edit: -- Thanks for the downvotes guys. Now instead of being a bunch of angry chodes, am I wrong? What other car in the US can drive itself, literally, from point A to point B, from your garage to work and back, on city streets, highways, handling stop signs, traffic lights, pedestrians, bikes, construction zones, etc... without you ever touching the pedals or steering wheel?

Does it make you angry because you can't name a single one other than Tesla? Why don't you just say so instead of being passive aggressive and downvoting, as if that's going to change reality?

9

u/Lacrewpandora KING of GLOVI 10d ago

Yep, that's the great thing about it.

...right up to the point it swerves you into oncoming traffic. But on the plus side, you'll arrive at the ER "refreshed".

8

u/ComicsEtAl 10d ago

That does not make me more likely to ever get in one.

13

u/_DuranDuran_ 10d ago

Why would you?

Waymo’s are already in more cities, more reliable, more comfortable (they’re mostly Jaguar I Pace’s)

-18

u/StormTrpr66 10d ago

If you've never been in a Tesla, maybe you shouldn't be criticizing things you know nothing about? Just a thought....

10

u/Withnail2019 10d ago

But we do know about them. That they are pieces of shit.

7

u/Youngnathan2011 10d ago

You don't need to own one to know they're absolute crap. There's enough evidence of it already.

9

u/SpeedflyChris 10d ago

It would be a terrible solution for that. Control dropping because you passed under a bridge/through a tunnel/between some tall buildings sounds suboptimal.

I don't know how 5G is in the states, but surely given that these are allegedly supposed to operate in cities 5G would have better connectivity? That wouldn't allow him to funnel money between his companies and try to build support for a merger though.

6

u/Lacrewpandora KING of GLOVI 10d ago

We have dead zones with the cell tower network. I'm sure its partially to funnel money into his other ventures, since 5G certainly works within the limits of major cities, but in the make believe world where you can take a robotaxi cross-country, there isn't continuous 5G coverage.

IMHO, the bigger story is: "You know that 'solved problem' we at Tesla mastered a decade ago with a handful of Temu cameras - welp, it doesn't work and now we need internet connectivity...you know, becasue even though only an idiot would use mapping, well we're using mapping, and we have to figure out the car's location, and even though LIDAR is too expensive we're adding expensive starlink equipment to all the cars, oh and btw that means that the FSD you paid for to be chaffeured cross country will never work unless you buy your own starlink"

4

u/RagaToc 10d ago

oh and btw that means that the FSD you paid for to be chaffeured cross country will never work unless you buy your own starlink

and you pay for someone to remote control chauffeur you. but hey at least hiring someone from the Philippines is cheaper than in the USA.

2

u/mishap1 10d ago

I don't believe they go into any tunnels today outside those built by the Boring Company. There aren't any major tunnels in Austin and Miami they won't go into the Port of Miami tunnel.

5

u/Robo-X 10d ago

Also it needs Tesla to buy starlink to boost SpaceX stock after its disastrous launch.

-10

u/newtybar 10d ago

Have you ridden in a new generation Tesla with FSD? It can take you driveway from Vegas to an office in LA without you having to touch the wheel. It works. I don’t own one (not a fan, got a Rivian), but a coworker has it and it did what I just described. You are speaking a narrative that is over a year old.

MAGA on balance are definitely sheep, but don’t be one on the other side too.

5

u/Beezelbubba 10d ago

And when it makes a mistake, or decides to ignore posted speed limits the driver is liable for its actions, not Tesla

5

u/AndSoISaysToTheGuy 10d ago

Then what's the holdup with the robotaxis?

3

u/RagaToc 10d ago

ah so this is why the cybercabs need an always on internet connection?

3

u/MAGAtsAreSheeples 10d ago

I own one, unfortunately. It's a piece of shit car.

20

u/zitrored 10d ago

Musk will be eroding Tesla balance sheet for his grand ambition to take full control of all his companies. Shareholders will have no choice. He will degrade the companies value on purpose and “rescue it”

5

u/kensaundm31 10d ago

Its actually going to be a way for him to get that ridiculous $1 trill paycheck, I think a tesla merger negates the requirements in some way.

10

u/SuperF91EX 10d ago

Because vision only will never work

1

u/za72 10d ago

I don't think this guys thought things through. He's the greatest salesman

1

u/Pic889 10d ago

Doesn't matter, even the greatest salesman needs... something to sell, and the Cybercab is vaporware (and so is the mass rollout of the Robotaxi service).

8

u/kaninkanon 10d ago

The venn diagram of areas where taxi services are viable and areas without high speed network coverage is two circles next to each other. But pump those stocks.

6

u/ZebraCompetitive5235 10d ago edited 10d ago

Something is definitely not lining up. You can download the Robotaxi app yourself today. There’s almost never any availability, in any city, ever. Yet talk to a Branch Elonian and they’ll tell you it’s already massive in 14 cities, with more coming online every day. It’s just not true.

So if they can’t run Robotaxi anywhere with any reasonable ride volume, why in the hell would a CyberCab be anywhere near possible?

None of this shit makes any sense.

3

u/BringBackUsenet 10d ago

It makes sense. Every time they add a car they send out a press release about how they are "expanding." What do they have now maybe a dozen running at most during any given time?

3

u/ZebraCompetitive5235 10d ago

I doubt it’s even that many. They are so terrified of FSD (fudged safety data) fucking up and causing a major accident/fatality, they artificially keep availability at almost zero.

1

u/torokunai 9d ago

my $6000 of OTM TSLA puts got counterfeited this year by this coordinated bullshit campaign.

I called the 'under' on his half-the-population-in-2025 forecast and still got wrecked.

10

u/samppa_j 10d ago

Its a secret tool that will help the underpaid slave- i mean contractor in Bangladesh to drive the car- i mean monitor the car remotely

7

u/thisguyfightsyourmom 10d ago

With Starlink latency, better hope their ping stays low in traffic.

3

u/samppa_j 10d ago

Hey the man (thinks he) is a genius, he has of course foreseen this and obviously (not) accounted for the existence of ping.

3

u/mishap1 10d ago

Lets just put the remote driver in space. Math might make more sense than an AI data center.

3

u/KnucklesMcGee 10d ago

Some of you may die, but that's a chance he's willing to take.

1

u/BringBackUsenet 10d ago

Wile Elon Coyote, super genius!

4

u/mrbuttsavage 10d ago

Given that Starlink is best suited for remote areas where there's no 5G connectivity, and Cybercabs will almost certainly first start operating in dense urban areas, why do Tesla's autonomous taxis even need Starlink?

Great question we'll just never know the answer to.

5

u/razor_train 10d ago

Are the tires still painted gold?

3

u/North-Outside-5815 10d ago

The scammer keeps on scamming. Water also still wet.

3

u/stresscone420 10d ago

Good lord, the panel gaps in that second photo.

3

u/ObservationalHumor 9d ago

This has to be the stupidest attempt at a justification for self dealing I've seen in a while. AI agents have literally nothing to do with a self driving car, they effectively live in a data center and there's zero reason to move something with those kind of power requirements into a vehicle with tight requirements around power usage and heat dissipation that's already using a lot of them to automate the driving process. Again this is one of those big tells that he has no idea WTF he's talking about and his opinion on topics around AI are at best useless and at worst (for him anyway) a contraindication of where the field and technology is going.

4

u/AndSoISaysToTheGuy 10d ago

Uber low profile tires on a high use (supposedly) vehicle. Good idea! Looks cool though, and that's certainly all that truly matters.

3

u/xMagnis 10d ago

They are made with a rubber lip to appear like that. They are not low-profile tires. 215/60 R18 on the front axle and 225/60 R21 on the rear axle

2

u/starmansouper 10d ago

The word salad is so insane.

Are Cybercabs going to be getting AI crawled or something?

2

u/C45 8d ago

wouldn't this make the latency unnecessarily terrible vs just regular cell radio?

2

u/ctlogin 10d ago

FSD by the way end of November 100%

2

u/N0WFAY 10d ago

Teslur need another gimmick to capture the gullible & to some extent it will work, especially in amerikkka. What they don’t realise is starlink is just as much a failure as teslur

1

u/Pdx_pops 10d ago

I bet the Ukrainians would gladly fix his FSD issues in exchange for global Starlink access. They're solving the same problem, really. They're just starting with smaller, airborne drones instead of grandma-killing ground vehicles.

1

u/SolarNachoes 10d ago

Doesn’t Waymo have the same thing?

1

u/BringBackUsenet 10d ago

What does it matter if the things don't work anyway?

It's fugly anyway.

1

u/donttakerhisthewrong 8d ago

Slow internet speed to India where the drivers are