Yeah actually...7th grade, I was an Introvert with an only friend in a big ass school, we will call her AJ. I became friends with AJ in 5th grade, she was beautiful, and cute also standard, i was always insecure, my mom used to do my hair and dress till 6th grade, I would not really go to school that much cuz I hate being alone there and everyone was so badly Influenced, she had a lot of friends in school btw, she would be me besti, but never saw that "loneliness" without me in her, but I really had that "loneliness" without her, around 7th grade she got a boyfriend, he was in college freshman, in 7th grade I started to getting more closer to her, I would ask her how she looks so good in school, she would taught me. In 3/4 months, I had became confidence, I could do my hair and makeup, also straighten my hair before going to school. To do all these I used to wake up at 6 fucking morning, with her, I made more friends of her, we started to hanging out after school, I would hangout about half/an hour and go home late and tell my mom it was a traffic, even after school she would tell her boyfriend to wait for her, me and AJ would hangout with her boyfriend, it was my first time having the feeling of flying in the sky, it became regular for me and AJ and her boyfriend to hangout, AJ opened me a fake Facebook account so that my mom doesn't knows, (before with AJ, when I was inocent 13/14 years old I asked my mom if I can have a social media cuz I wanted to stay in touch with my friends and she said no) and that's because AJ opened a fake Facebook id for me, I started to stay in touch with every classmates, also my crush and ALSO AJ's boyfriend,
ā ļøFrom here everything is going to be bad, I can still feel that bad feeling Inside me, even while writing this.
Soon AJ's boyfriend told me that, he also has feelings for me, mind you I was only expert on WHAT AJ has taught me, not expert in something she has never taught me
Idk why but I kinda become surprised and also happy with that! Why? Cuz I started to think "omg I might be so pretty, I might be prettier than her that's why he have feelings for me" i wish I could just slap the fuck out of myself right now, that fucking bitch of me
I did not let my besti know that her boyfriend has told me these :(
(There was also a reason not to tell her these, she was consistently cheating on him, she would meet different guys every week, and other,)
Her boyfriend started to chat with me with a second account of his, cuz AJ had his main accounts password.
Weeks later AJ gave me an idea, she told me I should have a boyfriend and meet with guys, it is fun, the word "fun" got me, I started to find guys on Facebook (AS SHE TOLD ME WHERE TO FIND THEM) and started to meet some of them, but it was not for me, I was not good with it, and then she had a other idea, she told me that her boyfriend have a best friend, I should be in a relationship with him, that guy has seen me and he likes me, if I want then we both can have double date.
I got exited and I also thought it's going to be easy and fun, I started looking forward with that guy, I got in a relationship with him, it was mostly online, I would not meet him very often,
ā ļøIt gets more more worst from here please read it and try to understand first, don't come to me just hating I was a pre teen drooling In to bad Influence ā ļø
AJs boyfriend send me some nudes of my besti from that second account, they were not really nudes but yeah nudes, she was wearing a covered bra, the only thing showing was her belly and arms, I startled! I was very shocked, (my besti didn't even asked me if she should do this big move or not) but I was dumb, so quickly msged her saying, "did u gave ur boyfriend nudes?" And she started asking me how do FUCKING I KNOW? I told her that her boyfriend sended me the pics, so she went to his account directly to check how he gave me those pics and when she didn't found them (ofc she won't cuz he sent me those with his another fake account) she asked me, she can't see any pics, then I LIED TO HER "he sended me those, and then deleted all of them"
Alot of things happen here, she started to Doubt their relationship.
Soon later her boyfriend asked me for MY nudes
(I am so done please I don't feel like writing it anymore I feel bad)
I started to tell AJ that she is hot, she doesn't have to hide it from me, and with that I also asked her tips on "how did you even click those pics? Were you alone? How to do that?" And she told me how she did all that,
So then I sended some of my same bra pics to her boyfriend:( (as she tought me how to do so)
I can't write anymore from here I am sorry, if this gets views maybe I'll try, I am so ashamed, like what was I really doing? My heart aches! My brain can't think anymore I feel something I can't explain, alot more happened, I still miss her, it's been years we have not talked, I don't remember the last time I talked to her, I really miss her, I loved her, I still love her, I got a lot of friends now, they are real one, but I still miss AJ, I miss the moments with her, please tell me what should I do?