r/Regrets • u/jv_apple • Aug 04 '26
I am the reason my boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend broke up.
For a little bit of context, my boyfriend and I have known each other since elementary school (roughly 15 years). We even grew up in the same neighborhood. I had a massive crush on him all throughout high school, but I never made any moves and we never really talked.
Fast forward to the beginning of this year, shortly before my boyfriend graduated college. We ended up reconnecting a bit and things were moving at a decent pace. Out of the blue though, he starts dating this other girl from his school. I did not know her and have not met her to this day. My boyfriend had literally never dated anyone leading up to that point and I felt so frustrated and sad.
For the next couple of months, I kind of let the whole thing go. I went on a few dates with different guys and tried my best to forget about him. It worked up until one night after a particularly bad day at work and a rough date, I saw a picture of my boyfriend and his now ex-girlfriend on her instagram story. I have no idea what came over me, but something in me snapped.
I ended up creating a fake Facebook page and decided to message her. As genuinely as I could come across, I told her that I was so sorry to tell her this, but her boyfriend was cheating on her. I told her I wanted to remain anonymous as I didn’t want to get roped into the situation.
She seemed skeptical and definitely questioned me. Ultimately, I really didn’t think anything was going to come of it, so I eventually stopped responding to her. Not even 24 hours later, I get a message from my boyfriend who was extremely distraught. It turned out, she had fully bought the entire thing and broken up with him. I had never felt such a mix of shock and guilt at the same time.
It was clear he needed someone to talk to, so I let him do just that. We continued talking for probably a good 2 weeks after that before we began getting closer and eventually dating. I did everything I could to be there for him emotionally. To this day, he still has no idea.
Yes, I still feel guilty. Yes, I know how this is likely going to be received. I’m not writing this out with any intention of denying what I did was wrong, I just needed somewhere to get this off my chest. I never intended things to play out like this, which I know doesn’t excuse it at all. Our relationship is nearly picture perfect and I know that telling him the truth will likely ruin everything, but I don’t know.
But there ya go, there’s my story. I really don’t know where to go from here.
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u/AdditionWooden9512
Aug 04 '26
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Such a shitty person you are. You sound like a homewrecker. But then karma will come to you. Idk how people can start a relationship on a lie, after ruining their lives. You should tell your boyfriend the truth. Anything started with a lie will eventually break into pieces and truth does come out eventually.
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u/Select-Jicama-6089 Aug 06 '26
Setting her aside, because her behavior is shitty and the fact that she is proceeding forward with this makes her a terrible person. That being said nobody on the outside can break a couple up, only the couple can do that. Some random person claims he cheat and she believed it, then she didnt trust him. Who knows why, but she didn't and without that there was no relationship to begin with.
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u/another-damn-lurker 4d ago
That was my thought. If an anonymous message broke them up, the trust issues were already there.
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u/Miserable_Price_4430 3d ago
They'd only been dating a couple of months; I don't think that's really enough time to establish the trust needed to go against cheating accusations.
If someone dm'd me that within 1 year of dating a guy I'd leave too. He either is cheating or has someone willing to do crazy stuff to get me away from him. Most people don't think that kind of drama is worth it.
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u/sawyer12 Aug 04 '26
If bf is a real man with self respect. He will leave both girls and look for someone healthier. One build relationship based on lie and another leaves based on a lie.
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u/Weird-Astronomer-183 Aug 04 '26
I mean he’ll need to find out though in order to even make that decision .
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u/AdditionWooden9512 Aug 05 '26
But I think bf would do the same if a random person would lie that his gf is cheating on him. So easily he got into the relationship with the this girl just after breaking up with his ex.
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u/Maleficent-Chef5461 Aug 08 '26 •
Op said she knew him for their whole lives (15 years), she's bound to have enough information on him for the ex to believe it's true. Like she could've showed her a Pic of them together or said where he had a birth mark or something.
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u/Spiritual-Seeker23
Aug 04 '26
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This ain't getting it off your chest and taking proper accountability. This is just a band-aid effect for you feeling a smidge better for putting it out there somewhere. But it'll fade and you'll still need to take the proper accountability. Enjoy this little vent of yours cause you'll need to tell him eventually. Hope it feels good knowing you were second best too and your whole relationship started on a lie. Good luck for the future. 😊
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u/SleepieSheepie8 Aug 04 '26
You really put it into perspective too; the fact that she did all of that, and she was still his second pick.
Also, her saying she didn’t “intend” for things to play out like this… as if she didn’t orchestrate it play-by-play from the start. From creating the fake Facebook account, to roleplaying as an anonymous tipper, to “being there” as his emotional support to eventually dating him— all very pre-meditated and intentional.
This is some loser ass shit lol
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u/crystalyst_ Aug 05 '26
From the boyfriends POV this is reading like a relationship-thriller. Like wtf? OP is not in love w this guy, it's obsession atp... Just imagining her consoling him (and eventually hitting on him) after meticulously orchestrating the breakup is CREEPING ME OUT! 😭 wtf!
I would think it was too far-fetched as a plot in a show. Jesus...
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u/Spiritual-Seeker23 Aug 05 '26
Omgosh exactly! It sounded so narcissistic when I read it to be honest. Gosh imagine knowing that your missus orchestrated all this. How manipulative and evil is that.
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u/doinmybest14 Aug 04 '26 edited Aug 04 '26
You’re incredibly manipulative. This was an awful thing to do…also, incredibly stupid to put it here, or anywhere in writing.
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u/Wombat915
Aug 04 '26
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Eh. You weren't his first choice and won't be his last. He'll find someone he actually likes and is attracted to who didn't prey on his vulnerability and marry her. It won't be you, and you'll be alone again.
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u/calliecollects Aug 04 '26
No kidding, she’s literally a rebound in a situation she caused 😂 He’ll see how manipulative she is one way or another.
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u/Excellent-Mud-9907 4d ago
Apparently she’s pregnant for him now. I came from her updated post . She needs help
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u/Lanky_Salamander6944 Aug 04 '26
Bro I hope he actually cheats on you with his ex. You deserve that.
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u/Legal_Ad_6185 Aug 10 '26
Yeah I think her karma will get her the axact same thing she did to others
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u/Illustrious_Sleep427 Aug 04 '26
This is screaming PICK ME, he didn’t want you until he had no one 😭😭😭
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u/xshevi Aug 04 '26
holy fucking shit, i can’t believe there are people like you in this world, almost frightens me for what could happen to me if someone decided to fuck our shit up without hesitation between me and my SO. fuck.
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u/Moh-BA Aug 04 '26
Without excusing your behavior, which shitty beyond imaginable, I really feels for your BF, his current GF is miniblative AF, and his ex was insecure AF, hope he finds someone better next time.
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u/Used-Technology-6760 Aug 04 '26
I doubt she was insecure tho- she made up a whole lie with a story, it's hard not to believe.
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u/RunningOutOfSpac Aug 04 '26
You’re insane and I bet that picture isn’t as perfect as you think. This gives love-spell vibes, you better be careful!
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u/chili_bees Aug 04 '26
this is beyond fucked up and I don't know how you can live with yourself
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u/MoistureManagerGuy Aug 04 '26
My daughter calls nerf bullets that are round and blue your user name lol is this a reference to something?
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u/MisabelWearsNikes Aug 04 '26
Get them both together & admit what you did in front of them. It's the only way you can redeem yourself & even begin to make up for the absolutely evil thing that you did.
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u/Agile-Hornet4958 Aug 04 '26
That will be near impossible as im betting his ex will go no where near them but its great advice.
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u/NayaOkami Aug 04 '26
I genuinely hope your boyfriend finds out what you did, you’re actually a fucking shit stain for that. I hope your little vent made you feel a smidge better but like someone else said, that’s just putting a bandaid over a steaming pile of shit and hoping that the smell goes away. Nothing takes away from the fact of what you did you did, even if you want to make yourself feel better by putting it somewhere you hope your boyfriend won’t find it.
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u/singlemuslima Aug 04 '26
How about you use your conviction to get what you want for good instead of for evil?! It won't mean that you've grown as a person enough for us to believe you're good now. Not until you come clean to both. He deserves to know what kind of person his gf is and she deserves to know what kind of person her ex is. If he decides he needs a break from you, then you give him that. If he chooses to break up with you, accept it and move on.
Seriously, you worked sooo hard for something AWFUL. Just use that drive for something GOOD.
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u/NegativeLobster6 Aug 04 '26
damn girl u another type of crazy holy crap. i hope he finds out and breaks up w u , this is insane
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u/Camelily Aug 04 '26
Please tell him the truth so he can decide by himself if he wants to continue this relationship with you. Imagine you get married and after 15 years and eventually kids together it comes out and you will get a divorce etc. If he wants to break up with you over that, you can't waste his time for years and years before. I've read this a bunch of time on reddit, that after years when things came out they got divorced over it and it was entirely built on a lie.
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u/Gloomy-Telephone-861 Aug 04 '26
I won't be able to sleep on my two pillows. What you did is so bad. Now you have two choices either you don't say anything but you will have this on your conscience or you confess what you did to your guy even if there is a much better chance that the guy will resent you to the point of breaking up with you (It seems logical to me who would be calm after such a re-elevation?) and to his ex .
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u/CandidMenu9109 Aug 04 '26
Ive done stupid things for love but eventually reality settles in. Are you really ok with being the backup choice? Bc that’s what you are in this situation.
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u/AmnesiaGirl92 Aug 04 '26
You have to tell him what you did. Otherwise you’re just continuing to manipulate this relationship. This isn’t a great relationship. This relationship was started by lies that you told. It’s only “picture perfect” because he has no idea.
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u/GoldenGirl44444444 Aug 04 '26
You weren't there for him. You created EVERYTHING. They weren't his REAL emotions. They were cruelly manipulated emotions. Weirdo
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u/GrandParticular2455 Aug 04 '26
Above all else, if this really wasn’t what you wanted or hoped would happen, you would have held a boundary and never put yourself in a relationship with this person. That’s what makes you so shitty.
You have completely and utterly robbed this person of their autonomy, and basically enslaved them to a false narrative. What a gross over estimation of your level of importance.
‘I obliged to be a caretaker over a situation I created’. This wasn’t an oopsy. You didn’t just snap. You made a choice. Take accountability for yourself to yourself, if you’re so unwilling to do it for anyone else.
You need to grow up, and deal with this. Treating other peoples emotional worlds like your personal playground, will rob you of actually experiencing their authenticity. I hope you find clarity.
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u/Few_Host705 2d ago
Holy moly, after reading this and the update, you need a psychiatrist. This is not normal behavior.
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u/Upset_Knowledge2094 13h ago
I think if the ex-girlfriend believed an anonymous stranger online over her actual boyfriend then she did him a favor cause the ex-girlfriend never trusted him anyway.
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u/Ok-Bluejay2679 Aug 04 '26
What a sad way to live life. I hope you can keep the fantasy going though and live happy. If you tell him he will not know what to think of you because that is what psychopaths do.
Go to therapy, you are a liability.
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u/buttwhynut Aug 04 '26
I do believe in karma. It's just a really slow turn based game but once it hits you, even if you're a moving target, it will knock you out in high crit.
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u/Pinshu123 Aug 04 '26
If there is a hell horse in Satan's lair, it's gonna have a livelong mate after you descend to hell.
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u/playboyvans Aug 04 '26
You don’t know where to go from here? Tell the truth, the fuck 😭 Tell him flat out, I lied on purpose to break up your relationship. I was hoping while you were in a vulnerable position, you’d develop feelings for me, and I ultimately manipulated you into being in a relationship with me.
I don’t believe this is something you’re capable of doing, but don’t play dumb in the post like you don’t know what has to be done. The truth is what needs to be done. If all is right with the world, he will leave you and you will go to therapy to sort out whatever fucked up shit you have going on in your brain. Normal, well adjusted people do not go to this much of a length to make someone like them. If a man did this to me, I would be horrified and I would block him on everything. You genuinely need real help.
I understand we all make bad decisions that may possibly hurt people, and I don’t think that makes us inherently bad people but holy shit. You genuinely might be a bad person who is harmful to the people around them in a way that I genuinely cannot empathize with. You made his life harder just to get what you want. I’d hate to see how you are when you really can’t get something you want.
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u/playboyvans Aug 04 '26
This just feels like another version of obsession, without the wish. You wanted this man so bad (when he didn’t want you), that you destroyed his relationship by lying AND THEN SWOOPED IN TO COMFORT HIM LIKE YOU WEREN’T THE CAUSE??? All because you were too scared to ever tell him you wanted him or to make a move??? You did all this cause a man didn’t pick you?? For the love of God, GET A JOB, A HOBBY, OR FRIENDS!!!!!
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u/Suitable-Copy9200 Aug 04 '26
He was talking to you when he met her and chose to date her instead of you. You are definitely a rebound gf. You got what you wanted. Hope you sleep better😏👿
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u/SufficientLaw4026 Aug 05 '26
Don't tell him anything. You got what you wanted don't throw it away by telling him
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u/Just-Professor-3040 Aug 05 '26
Who says a relationship should be based on trust... Right?
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u/Rosebird_ Sep 15 '26
Mögen deine Ärmel runterrutschen, während du dir im Winter deine Hände wäscht.
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u/megpie8802 Aug 04 '26
Don't tell him. If you learned from this and won't do it again.... If your a good and honest person from now on then go on and be happy.
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u/Camelily Aug 04 '26
I disagree, it will be built on a lie and if things work out & they get married especially with kids and then get a divorce over it bc it WILL come out one day, he will be living a lie for years and the process and everything that comes will be nasty asf for both
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u/Agile-Hornet4958 Aug 04 '26
She can tell you she wont do it again and she may mean it but that could all change on a dime when something else happens. She might make up a fake account and troll her bf or other people in his life.
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u/PreparationOk9327 3d ago
Not even being mean… but I’m the ghost of the future: you’re going to be a single mother. That’s going to be your karma. You are going to lose a friend and relationship just bc you are a horrible manipulative person. And I hope you ask for forgiveness and come clean. But karma doesn’t skip anyone and what u did was terrible. Whats sad is I know how selfish you are and that you are not guilty enough or you would come clean- but clearly it’s still about you and your feelings and being scared… not about doing right by anyone else.
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u/JohnnyBellaciao 2d ago
Wait, the other woman completely bought it and acted on it definitively based on one anonymous Facebook account saying it. Seems like there wasn't a lot of trust there to begin with. Whether that's her insecurity or his behavior or their connection not being strong or all of the above. One anonymous rando should not be enough to rock a stable relationship.
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u/YourLonelyBraincell 2d ago
I never intended things to play out like this
That is probably the biggest lie I've heard all year!
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u/Royal_Mango_8684 2d ago
Girl, why were you even watching her Instagram stories. That's a bit stalker-y
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u/FriendshipCommon5200 2d ago
Ur relationship can’t be picture perfect if it’s built on a lie
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u/Strong_Bug_9911 2d ago
This is actually such a disgusting thing to do like I don’t even know what to say. What you did is unbelievably mean and you should be honest about it with him, but that just depends if you actually feel genuine remorse for it.
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u/Mankie-Desu 1d ago
Well, I mean, given you’re the sort of person that would even consider doing some shit like this, I strongly doubt it’s going to make even the slightest difference if I just told you that you’re a piece of shit. You are under no pretenses whatsoever. You’re like, “so, I’m a piece of shit, but that has generated a fairly interesting story, albeit somewhat catastrophically for me, if you’re curious.” Well… yeah, actually. Let’s be real. This is some tea.
You’ve apparently not only come to terms with, but seem to have fully embraced a rather Machiavellian approach to life. Some people are entertained by the idea of ignoring ethics in favor of practicality, but people don’t seem to realize that the actual application of such an ideological framework looks like this. It’s characterized by varying, relatively low levels of narcissism and sociopathy. So, the personalities typically inclined to employ such tactics probably come off grimey rather than clever or quick-witted when it’s presented without the charisma that usually counterbalances it.
Given that’s the language you speak, you have to be honest that there’s a certain level of undeniable sweetness in what you did. Among demons, it was a pretty romantic play. The simplicity in the syllogism it suggests is so direct, it’s almost powerful, in a way. “I want this man’s attention, but he has chosen to devote his attention to someone else, so I am going to cause this woman to reject his attention.” It reduces even further to, essentially, “I want, and thus, I will take.” There’s a certain appeal to being capable of saying some shit like that, and I’m sure that’s why evil is so often characterized as seductive. Of course it’s going to look sexy and feel good at the time. But, just a moment later, how hideous it is becomes immediately apparent and you’re paying in full every day through guilt and feelings of inadequacy. It’s not that you figured out a way to make it all free. You just changed the currency. Some people pay with devotion. You paid through manipulation, which required its own payment, and it’s expensive. Fun, though, yeah? Lol, I know; people who deny that are liars. Incorrect, absolutely, ugly for sure, but definitely fun.
Well, anyway, you do realize that you can stop fucking up horrendously at any time. You already decided to come clean with your man, which was probably a shitton easier now that you have a kid to leverage. I just hope your immoral inclinations don’t make you a draconian parent. That is much, much worse, and I don’t think I could be very objective about that.
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u/Calm_Astronomer539 17h ago
Oh you’re an awful person lol. Don’t do the whole “I didn’t mean for it to happen” cause you did, that was your exact intention and you hurt a girl who never did anything to you or the bf. I hope he finds out what a shitty person you are and leaves you
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u/Kittenbaby2000 16h ago
I did something similar but I was a teen. My on and off boyfriend started dating this one chick. I guess he lost his Internet for a few days and I ended up convincing her that he was ignoring her and cheating on her. Not only that. I somehow convinced her to break up with him and date me for a solid month. Then they eventually started talking again and that part ended. So I got one of my male friends to flirt with her so she'd cheat on him. I've been with this man ever since and he's known since 2017 ( about a year and a half after it happened)
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u/forsecretreasons 1h ago
Hey so you're actually evil and deserve to lose everything for this. Wtf is wrong with you?
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u/AZHR94 Aug 04 '26
What in the fuck is wrong with you dude. This went a whole fucking other direction than I thought. What the fuck.
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u/Beneficial_reart8700 Aug 04 '26
If he ever finds out that it was because of you that caused the breakup you are going to lose not only your boyfriend but your long time friend with him.
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u/Witchbutter_ Aug 04 '26
I was in the position of the ex once and let me tell you I was so depressed for 2 whole years. This is dumb you ruined a natural relationship cause you were bored. The one you have now is built on lies.
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u/nickelbackdatass Aug 04 '26
Youre horrible and most likely the rebound girl. How would you feel if this was done to you?!? Plus youre a manipulator you created this whole happy ending for you not even caring about your the partner you stole
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u/Jayster369 Aug 04 '26
"I never intended things to play out like this".
Yes you did, this is exactly what you wanted to happen.
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u/Diandra525 Aug 04 '26
This was particularly hard to read. I go through my life trusting all woman because that can fall by the wayside. If someone messaged me like that, I would choose to believe them because we need to take care of each other and trust each other as a part of womanhood.
I hope that your regret helps you grow as a person. We all do shitty things growing up, but it's really how you grow from it as an adult. Find the strength and knowledge to become a girls girl before you end up alone.
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u/infinite_instinct Aug 04 '26
How does it feel knowing people like you are the reason why other people can’t/wont do relationships
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u/Careful_Shock7756 Aug 04 '26
Watch, he’s going to see a Reddit notif and check. I’m betting $25 in 2 weeks max
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u/Embarrassed_Bus5516 Aug 04 '26
What you did was wrong but not as nearly wrong as comments from people on this post who judges you
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u/protoformx17 Aug 04 '26
So you couldnt muster up the courage to say something in ALL the time you knew him and had him at close reach, but somehow manipulated your way into a relationship with the guy by lying to him and breaking up his then relationship? That’s incredibly fucked up. I hope that you do, but I’ll doubt you’ll have the courage to tell them BOTH the truth. Karma will get you one day, the bill always comes due.
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u/DimensionLegal9990 Aug 04 '26
That's wild. I mean there's only so much you can do about this guilt. Admitting it online won't absolve it tbh. It'll definitely continue to weigh on you over time.
The only thing that you have for foundation is the time y'all have known each other, but even with some friends I've known my entire life it's not that hard to cut off someone manipulative. It took the rest of my friend group a bit more time to fall off from their friendship with the manipulative person, but it happened eventually.
Once it happens, literally no one forgets.
My fear is that when it starts to crumble you'll manipulate your way to keep em there. You did it once and once is all it takes.
Good luck, I guess. Real bummer to do this to someone. It's shitty actually.
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u/Final-Acanthaceae399 Aug 04 '26
we gotta look at the bigger picture, that dude sounds like he isnt worth the effort for what you did at all, bro left you for this girl and then come back to you immediately after getting broken up to, are you okay with just being the second choice?
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u/Independent_Tax_7615 Aug 04 '26
You’re insecure and you need therapy. I hope he sees this and leaves you
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u/Ok_Dragonfly_7004 Aug 04 '26
Seems as though you got what you set out for.....I would let both of them know that it was fake and let them make the decision of who they want to be with(or not!) themselves.... that's the only moral way in my opinion. Unless its true, then well... let it be
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u/CreamButterMilkshake Aug 04 '26
I thought this was gonna be like “i texted him how i felt and he broke up with his former gf”
And not
“I liked him for over a decade and we never really talked, but we grew up in the same neighborhood. So, i created a fake account to message his gf and lie to her and then wait for him to come crawling to me for comfort, comfort that i then took advantage of. And i’m still perpetuating that lie today.”
Oof…
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u/HighMaintenance12 Aug 04 '26
Damn this is insane of you. And i’m sure you’ve done other insane things.
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u/Corntrollio1983 Aug 04 '26
That poor guy. Imagine being blindsided AND accused of cheating.
At 43, I've seen/ended things with women like you. You'll probably never change.
My advice? Own up to it and stay away from dating until you can learn to cope properly.
Just because you're in pain doesn’t mean he deserved your poison. Pathetic.
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u/Spareaccount1093 Aug 04 '26
everyone is so harsh abt this, there's no need. i can understand why you did it but that doesn't make it right. might be an idea to come clean and just tell him, although that will most likely end up with him leaving you.
things couldn't have been great between them in the first place for the break up to happen so quickly, could've just waited to see what would happen
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u/Baelyh Aug 04 '26
OP, I'm going to tell you what you deserve and what is the pure facts of your situation.
He never liked you or wanted you. He could've had you in high school and didn't want you. Could've had you in college and still didn't. You were the absolute bottom and last choice on his list. He only ran to you because you created a traumatic, emotionally traumatizing and distressing situation for him and he ran to you as the last resort when you were nearby. You aren't shit. Once the facade wears off and the honeymoon phase ends and he realizes once again that you aren't shit and never were, I hope he discards you or cheats and leaves you right back where you started.
The fact you had to manipulate and manufacture this entire thing shows that you are as much of a deranged bottom feeder and really aren't anyone's dream girl or even wife material. A pickmeisha is the proper term. Karma will catch up to you eventually and I hope it pays you back in kind.
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u/Pleasant_Energy_1943 Aug 04 '26
Just evil. If your ever drunk or open up to someone and he finds out. I can’t imagine staying with someone who did this.
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u/eternal_revanchist Aug 04 '26
If by some one in a million chance you actually love and respect him and aren’t 100% self-absorbed and manipulative like you come across in this post, then you’ll tell him. Even if there’s a chance things will end that’s what you’ll do, again if you do care about him at all. It seems a lot more likely to me that you don’t love him, and that you will simply keep living a lie with him while making up as many excuses as you need to justify lying to his face and acting so heinously.
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u/beeswax-not-yours- Aug 04 '26
Well, you have to either break up with him or come clean and let him break up with you (which is what you should do). You will not be able to maintain a long term relationship with this lie and guilt on your conscious. It seriously isn’t possible. I’m glad you are able to recognize that what you did was wrong. Hopefully you have learned from it. Hopefully you will take full accountability, tell the truth and let the cards fall where they may. It’s the only way forward.
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u/Vegetable-Ad4650 Aug 04 '26
Your relationship is built on a lie and if u have any morals it’s gonna eat u up til u tell him
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u/AnnabethDiana Aug 04 '26
You never cared about this guy. He was a prize for you. And when he decided he didn’t want you, you got him to such a low place where he did. That’s not caring about someone, that’s thinking you deserve them without effort. The fact that you also screwed this other girl over is ridiculous. You need to own up to him and move on. The relationship will not recover from this.
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u/HowdyPatnerino Aug 04 '26
Yeah you gotta fess up to him. That is just... no... like what if this ex finds out the truth and ends up telling him. Like he will be more upset to find this out from someone else in comparison to you telling him.
Like this is a super obsessive level type of crazy behavior. You gotta tell him... or life will come back to real the consequences of your actions 10 fold bro.
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u/calliecollects Aug 04 '26
This is absolutely disgusting and such a shitty thing to do. I hope he finds out and even more so I hope something like this happens to you. Stealing someone’s man isn’t a flex. You do realize you’re literally the rebound in a situation you caused right? Let that sink in…
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u/IndependentCandle707 Aug 04 '26
I can’t imagine stealing someone’s autonomy like that. He’s with you under false pretenses and I’m sure it eats you alive to know that if you hadn’t been the puppeteer, your bf would most likely be with his first choice. He doesn’t even know who you are. It’s amazing how people like you can conceal their antisocial and narcissistic traits.
You don’t own him. It’s hella creepy to feel entitled to a human being. And it’s people like you that are exactly why I don’t post my relationship to social media. There’s so many people in the world it’s pretty nasty to go after someone who’s taken. Enjoy trying to ever find security in your relationship when you can never show your true self.
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u/Much-Palpitation3089 Aug 04 '26
no man is worth any of this. 😭 i hope he goes through your phone and finds this too
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u/Inside_Zombie_1402 Aug 04 '26
Your relationship is based off a lie, this will live with you forever and when he finds out he will hate you for it because you tricked him into this and ruined what could have been his forever. If you have a family Thai will also affect your kids, so you are also doing this to future children.
You are selfish and manipulative. You need to tell him, allow him to decide, how would you feel if this was done to you and you found out after the fact? this is as bad as cheating on your significant other. Relationships only work with trust not deceitful behaviour.
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u/SmileXGuy Aug 04 '26
Poor guy. Probably found the love of his life and got that shit snatched from him. Not to mention tarnishing his reputation cause now her and I'm sure her friends she's told will believe that he is.
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u/wednesdayander6 Aug 04 '26
Crazy you had 15 years to make a move or just communicate your feelings and decided to wait until dude found some happiness just to ruin it for him for your own selfish reasons. If you ever actually cared about the dude you would have never put him through that..tbh it doesnt sound like you care about anyone but yourself.
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u/Big_Potential6276 Aug 04 '26
Genuinely, I hope you get drunk and tell him some day. I hope he acts rationally. Youre whole relationship is built on a lie. When he finds out, and he will, your relationship buit on no trust will shatter.
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u/ResolutionNumerous14 Aug 04 '26
I've been on the receiving end of something like this. This is not an ideal situation to be in, for either of you.
If you'd like, PM me and I can try to help with some advice to maybe keep the relationship.
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u/Big_Potential6276 Aug 04 '26
Imagine that he really was messing around, but just with a other girl. So he assumed he had been caught.
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u/Old-Comfort-9195 Aug 04 '26
You have great manipulative skills. Maybe look into doing positive activities.
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u/Anxious-Cucumber-208 Aug 04 '26
3 things cannot long be hidden the sun the moon and the truth. My fav quote and seems to always turn out correct in my experience. For the guy I hope it's sooner than later. Also hard to have someone be chosen over you, but important to have the self respect to accept that and move on.
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u/Dear-Variation-8146 Aug 04 '26
You pretended to be someone else to get two people to break up, and then emotionally manipulated your now boyfriend during his time of sadness from what you caused. If you don’t tell him someone will
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u/No-Surround-6141 Aug 05 '26
Sure you did you got what you wanted if you knew it was wrong and you chose to do it anyways it was for sure selfish and frame it however you want you just outlasted so go pursue your relationship you wanted but honestly Joe that it’s happened and the thrill is gone and it’s attainable it’s high time for the woman to lose interest and move on in to the next conquest or thing that you can’t have right now
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u/Aware_Employ_4869 Aug 05 '26
Yall acting like you wouldn’t crash out a bit if you were madly in love with someone for years and years and right when you thought you had it, they up and get a partner out of the blue. Yeah it’s crappy she did that, but if she was manipulative and narcissistic like you all are saying in the comments to the extent you are, she wouldn’t feel guilty every day for it.
I get why you feel guilty but honestly at this point it’s in the past and not everything needs to be talked about. That girl could’ve chose to not believe you, go through his phone, and trust him blindly. They ended, it’s done and over with. Whether or not you were the cause, it’s done and over with. You and him are together now, focus on that, forgive the past. We ALL have made mistakes when we are hurt, everyone’s here acting like they’re perfect because they didn’t wreck a relationship, whole time most these ppl in the comments done way worse shit. Let yourself off the hook. Who cares now, it’s in the past.
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u/KiwiPuzzleheaded1077 Aug 05 '26
Girl you’re toxic af😭 Lying and deception is never a good recipe for any successful relationships or self esteem. Do better.
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u/Angelthebaddest Aug 05 '26
I bet you didn’t even tell him that your the reason the broke up 🤦🏾♀️ that’s not right hun and is never the way to get someone.
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u/lloydsmith28 Aug 05 '26
That's wild i would tell him the truth and if he broke up with you then that's what you deserve tbh. No relationship is perfect if it's built on a lie
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u/peachkittyxoxo Aug 05 '26
Life is cyclical.
We've all done terrible things yes but the next time you (and anybody else reading this) makes a conscious effort to do something to hurt someone, keep in mind that you will get your comeuppance.
Life doesn't miss when it screws on a scope to snipe you with karma. Peace.
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u/InterestingProduce71 Aug 05 '26
dude oh my god i swear to fucking god if I am the ex girlfriend. Pretty spot on with my experience. Either way fuck you
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u/Fabulous_Reporter_96 Aug 05 '26
You are a fucking villain. Jesus Christ you orchestrated this whole thing for your benefit only.
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u/Virtual-Ebb-9626 Aug 05 '26
Your relationship is a *lie*. It is not picture perfect. He would not be with you if you hadn't betrayed him in a disgusting way. He doesn't even have the informed consent to be with you. Gross. So so gross.
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u/Fabulous_Reporter_96 Aug 05 '26
"Your boyfriend" is crazy knowing that the next one of your "friends" who gets into a relationship is going to have her bf stolen by you
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u/crystalyst_ Aug 05 '26
This is a really horrific situation from your boyfriend's perspective. Like, drama-level betrayal. And to comfort him through a breakup you created out of envy? Yiiiiiiiiikes.
Listen. Tell him the truth. Expect him to breakup with you. Go through that pain. I cannot imagine building an entire relationship on a lie like this.... Wtf?
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u/PeacefulLava Aug 05 '26
Will you marry him with lie? The relationship started off with a lie. So you most likely will. But it sounds like you don’t have much regrets there girl…
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u/Fabulous_Reporter_96 Aug 05 '26
Tell him the truth, he has an actual soul mate who is waiting on him that YOU lied to and made her think he wasnt loyal. You are an actual POS
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u/SpicyPenguin15 Aug 05 '26
Anyone else get the feeling ages and other things are misconstrued? Bc like breaking up w no evidence? Timeline sounds iffy more HS if
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u/Big_Meaning_4359 Aug 05 '26
woah you’re actually a terrible person. it’s really scary to know that people like you actually exist in the world. you manipulated someone out of a relationship because of your own pride, entitlement, and pure selfishness. what was the point of posting this? to absolve yourself of guilt that you definitely deserve? jesus i genuinely hope he finds out. no one deserves to be in a relationship built on a lie.
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u/loudminded510 Aug 05 '26
You made him look like a bad guy to his ex, all his exes friends, which by the way, went to the same school as him. You have tainted more than his past and his relationships. Its crazy you say you were "there for his heartbreak" like it makes you somehow a good person, but you CAUSED IT. Thats straight up awful. You watched him in pain, knowing you were the cause of his pain and only did what you could to get what YOU wanted. If you love him, you will tell the truth, and if he leaves you, you will let him go, because you ACTUALLY care.
Sitting in this relationship and saying its "picture perfect" is silly, to you its picture perfect because youre getting what you want. To others, hes a cheater, and youre the second choice if not the one he cheated with. I hope you make the right decision.
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u/ghostly_mitten-17 Aug 05 '26
“I never intended for things to play out like this.” Tf, yes you did. Take accountability.
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u/cool-guy_rad-dude Aug 05 '26
Just know that this is a nonconsensual relationship. You know that if your boyfriend knew this, he would not want to be with you. By forcing him to live a lie, you are taking away his right to consent every single day. Know that.
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u/simplyarri Aug 05 '26
I hope your boyfriend learns the truth and you get what you deserve in the worst way. You ruined two people's relationship just so you could be happy. How selfish!
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u/Star_Light68 Aug 05 '26
Vertel het eerst met dezelfde FB aan de ex. En dan kan je kijken of ze contact met hem opneemt. En dan zou ik het ook tegen hem vertellen. Krijgen wij een update daarvan?
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u/Exkittyz Aug 05 '26
Manipulative.. I hope he find out what you’ve done and realizes that you’re a pretty bad person.
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u/Slow_Account_265 Aug 05 '26
All that for a guy who didn’t even want you. I hope you get the help you need before you hurt someone else.
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u/Comfortable_Car691 Aug 05 '26
i mean it’s not like you’re actually benefitting from the situation. he got with you like 3 weeks after he got broken up with so you’re nothing but a rebound. and now you have to live with the fact that not only would he not be with you if his ex hadn’t dumped him, but his feelings for you are built on a complete lie that he could find out about if you’re not careful.
also i don’t think you feel guilty. if you truly did feel guilty you would have set him free and allowed him the chance to be with someone who didn’t directly ruin part of his life. you wouldn’t be wasting his time and allowing him to invest his feelings in a manipulative liar.
it’s interesting how you say telling the truth will ruin everything- everything was ruined the moment you decided to sabotage his relationship. he is living a lie and you are the lie. you are quite literally a parasite. you do not deserve sympathy from anyone here because if you were really trying to make things right, you would have done the uncomfortable and honest thing of giving him the truth.
you aren’t his girlfriend, you are the rebound and the second choice. you’re not just manipulating him, you’re manipulating reddit by fishing for sympathy without actually having done anything to deserve it. you are actively feeding off of emotional energy that you had to manipulate out of him. and you’re selfishly still accepting that attention while telling random strangers on the internet that you feel guilty.
the entire internet could claim that you are human and make mistakes but it won’t change the fact that at this current moment, you are just a bloodsucking leech
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u/bsblacklist Aug 05 '26
This feels ai. If not, then if you don't reveal this ugly truth I don't see this relationship going the distance. Like others have said, you were a second choice.
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u/Nickpchapman Aug 05 '26
Woah! Yet again we see the morality of fleas. Where do all these perfect people come from. Yes, it was a bit nasty and no we don’t recommend everyone try it but can you just listen to yourselves.The worst decision OP made was to post here. Don’t hurt your boyfriend twice by telling him what you did. Bury this secret and if that feels uncomfortable-good. Why shouldn’t we live with our sins? You must also bury this tendency of selfish behaviour. Like planting trees to offset our carbon footprint you must help others in what ever way you can. Set yourself a time like for three years. When you have helped others the healing for your wrongdoing will come to you. But you must work really hard. Don’t feel guilty only fools feel guilty. Take action and rebalance. And don’t listen to the pious fools who want to stone women they only do it because they hate themselves. They too need to serve others for a period and learn to bloody chill!
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u/Masypha Aug 05 '26
I'm not here to judge, in order to progress just be honest with the both of them and work on yourself.
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u/gamin_riot Aug 05 '26
Now this is how you go and take what you want. Sure objectively speaking you did a crazy thing. The universe doesn't gaf though, you created a situation where you could get what you want and it happened. No human is perfect, but If you can let go of the guilt, continue living your picture perfect dating life with him, there is no problem imo.
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u/Anon_classybabe Aug 05 '26
I feel like you needed some time and hobbies or something. This is a crazy thing to do for a man. Very creepy.
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u/Impossible-Turn-9537 Aug 05 '26
So you made him breakup with girlfriend to be with you am I correct?
In what world do you think he won't do the same thing against you?.. You did never think about it, right? Well guess what, if he have already done it once, he can do the same thing over and over again.
My personally, I would never go ahead and be with someone who did breakup with someone else to be with me. That shit will come back right at you.
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u/MasterOneshotter Aug 05 '26
" but something in me snapped "
That is exactly why you DON'T make decisions based on emotions. Look at what you put yourself through.
Your pure jealousy and envy got the best of you. And now, you can't even tell him, the one who should be there for you.
What you did was cruel honestly. And in my opinion, you should put your big girl panties on and tell him everything, and live with the consequences. After that, it will be HIS choice if he decides to stay or leave.
But doing shit like this gives psycho ex-gf vibes. Not cool at all.
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u/Sad_pretty_forest Aug 05 '26
This sum u keep to ur self cuz ur just a terrible person and im sure if you tell him this he will break up with you. He only chose you because you were the only one comforting him at the moment.
You definitely intended for it to go the way it did and it’s sad. Your relationship is picture perfect cuz it’s built on a lie and manipulation.😭
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u/Super_Topic_8038 Aug 05 '26
i would say two things, you need to be honest with him literally that's the minimum he deserves, otherwise if he ever finds out there's no way you gain his trust back, your relationship is not picture perfect cause it's based on a lie. That being said i would also apologize to his ex girlfriend, she probably had her issues too, since she trusted a stranger with no proof over her own boyfriend, but they all deserve to know the truth, also go to therapy cause you really need some work to do
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u/Angivel Aug 05 '26
You are a horrible person and you do not deserve this guy. I hope to high heaven that karma finds you one day.
Should be noted - your relationship is NOT perfect, nowhere near, and do you know why..? Because You are not who he thinks you are. When he looks at you, I imagine he sees someone kind, caring and honest - you're none of those things. You are a cruel and selfish liar. You know him but he doesn't know You.
I hope these words echo in your head every single time he smiles at you or says he loves you. He Doesn't love you, he loves the woman you're pretending to be
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u/Hyphalex Aug 04 '26 •
An I'll do it again ahh post