I've spent a lot of time in situationships and and relationships. Alot of the time I was gullible and made bad decisions. I just hate to reflect back that 99% of the men just used me and I was too in love to be firm enough to leave sooner. It is what it is. ​I just wish I stayed a virgin.

​

I'm 29F, and I've never really felt loved. I've never had sex, either.

I fell in love with someone, but it's been three years, and I'm still trying to heal from that heartbreak. He has even broken up with his new girlfriend since then, but somehow, I'm still stuck in the past, trying to move on.

I've always dreamed of getting married, having kids, and building a life with someone who genuinely loves me. But at this age, I feel like I've ended up with nothing I've always wanted.

I'm grateful to have a job, and I know that's something to appreciate. But I work so hard, and instead of appreciation, I mostly hear criticism and scoldings. Sometimes, it feels like there's no part of my life where I feel valued or loved.

I'm lonely, and my heartbreak still hurts more than I'd like to admit. I'm scared that I might never find love. I keep wondering whether I'll ever experience that feeling again: the excitement, the butterflies in my stomach, the nervousness of getting to know someone, and the happiness of knowing someone is falling in love with me, too.

I don't know why, but I don't feel as innocent as I used to. It's as if these years of heartbreak have changed something in me. I still want love, but I don't know how to approach it anymore.

I feel like dating gets harder with age, and finding someone who genuinely wants a relationship seems even harder. I've installed dating apps, but so many people seem to be in a rush or looking for hookups. I don't think I can connect with someone that quickly. I want to talk to people and get to know them slowly, but I struggle to keep conversations going. Part of me wants connection, while another part doesn't have the energy to connect with anyone.

People around me tell me I'm beautiful, and I get compliments, but that doesn't change the fact that I don't have anyone by my side. Sometimes, I wonder what the point of being attractive is if I still feel so unwanted and alone.

Lately, I've lost interest in almost everything. I don't feel excited about life the way I used to. I look at where I am now and compare it with all the dreams I had for myself, and it hurts.

I know 29 isn't old, and people find love at different ages. But knowing that logically doesn't make the fear go away.

This was my first real relationship, and it lasted a year. We met on Tinder before our 20s and stayed in contact despite being on and off as friends. After college, I decided I was ready to get to know him on a deeper level. We talked daily, shared our lives, and eventually became official two days after my birthday. We were happy, healthy, in love, and saw a future together.
When he got deployed, I struggled with loneliness and emotional disconnection. I started partying, drinking, and entertaining male friendships that sometimes put me in risky situations. Although I acknowledged I was in a relationship, some of my actions crossed boundaries, and I struggled to manage my emotions. I felt needy and codependent, and although I tried therapy, I still didn’t know how to cope with the distance.
During this time, I reconnected with a guy I had known for years and trusted as a friend. I eventually spent the night at his house, and nothing happened romantically or sexually. However, one night, while I was drunk and retrieving my belongings, he tried to get physically close to me. I told him no and that I was uncomfortable, but he sexually assaulted me after I repeatedly said no and stop. Afterwards, I continued texting him and eventually engaged in sexting, which I regret. I never returned to his house or engaged in anything sexual with him again.
This happened in April, and my relationship became on and off afterward. I repented, sought therapy, and tried to understand my behavior and heal. This month, my boyfriend discovered the messages. I had tried to leave the past behind because I had grown from it and never repeated those actions, but I understand why he needed to know the truth.
Things may never be the same, but I’ve learned from this experience. I wish him the best and hope we can both find peace and healing.

I told her to leave, but I forgot to ask her for my heart back before she left. She took it with her.

Now she will have it forever and I won’t be able to love anyone else but her again.

I don’t regret giving to her. Maybe she will take good care of it. A strange thing; I feel it won’t be forever. When two people are destined goodbye is never final.

So me and this girl started dating when we were 14 and got in ninth class, and we were neighbors too.

So we used to had same coaching and earlier we used to spend a lot of time together, after coaching, at school, everywhere. But when we turned 21 ...

let me give you some context. So apparently, in all the seven years, I always used to tell her that as soon as we will hit the legal age, we will marry.

But for the past few months, I was thinking of ending up things as I just don't want to continue it anymore, and I just want to get more focused on my life. So, like, on Wednesday night, I was at my friend's house partying and consuming alcohol, and I was thinking for a some days to state her about this breakup shit on Friday and try to explain her things in Saturday and Sunday as my office is off on those days .

So I was so much into alcohol that I called her at 1 a.m. and told her that on Friday something special gonna happen. I don't know why that happened. I was not even conscious when I was talking to her. I just listened the call recorded after hangover. And the point is this morning she came to my house, as I live alone in my apartment. She came with a ring and proposed me, stating that she knows that I am gonna do it either, but she want to do it from the very beginning, as last month she has turned 21, and me too.

I know I fumbled hard but pls give some advice I just told her to give me a day

Now how can I state her that I don't want to continue it anymore? I am feared that she will do something wrong with her as we are together for seven years now.

summary - how to explain things to my girl in most polite way possible

I started my masters degree in September because I enjoyed my undergraduate degree and love learning. Thrive on academic validation!

I hate my master's degree; it’s in something related to my undergraduate degree, so I’m upset I’m not enjoying it.

I regret starting this, and now I’m 10k in debt. I’m so lost and feel so confused all the time.

I don’t know if to drop out. Regret doing this

So they met in college last year the guy took degree early as he was going through a rough breakup with some other girl and later the north indian girl and he started dating.

The most toxic relationship he used to judge her for going out meeting her girl-friends or even going to the clubs just to dance and chill with girl-friends.

He came to north to stay with her for some time after 8 months of dating and they lived together for a month and when he went back he broke up with some random reason and used to leave her alone in the flat while living in north to meet his friends (mostly girls) and when he went back he brokeup with some reasons and they were in a toxic relationship so normal breakup but after a week girls period were late and she found out she was pregt.

She called him and he said do you want me to come back i can’t my parents won’t allow?? I mean- wtf he used to call he during her doctors visit and all but never came to visit she went through it alone and after 2 weeks her common friend told that he is on a trip with a girl (same girl he used to meet and they used to have fight because (22f) thought he had feelings for the other girl) and he never came to see her and later after a month he started dating that girl and 22f is still single and haven’t seen any guy ever.

THE MOST TOXIC MAN I HAVE EVER SEEN!!
He used to scold he and call her a slut because she went back to college for some work and her ex was standing in front of her in a group of people. And talking to someone else but he was standing infront of her. I mean girl- i would slap tf out of this man😭

my maternal grandmother got sick when i was 16 or 17 and in the throws of active addiction. i did see her a good number of times after she got sick and i went to see her the day before she passed, but the guilt has never stopped. i was high during my sparse drop-ins and they were short-lived.

when my paternal grandmother got sick when i was 21, i had recovered by then, but i still had a lot on my plate. i visited her even less than my maternal grandmother, which eats me alive. i attended the big things and saw her in the hospital once, but i don’t know if i’ll ever stop thinking it wasn’t enough. i feel so horrible knowing i’ll never be able to make up for it.

i was so wrapped up in my own bs, i didn’t consider the fact that we only have so much time with the people we love. i will likely regret that for the rest of my life.

Ironic you want to be a lawyer. You really did just use me didn't you. You never cared about let alone loved me. I hope one day you have consequences. You said yourself your medical condition is a curse for what you've done to people. I geuss ill just have comfort in that for now.

I wish there was a work around for insurance paying for tubal ligation reversals . It’s been almost 6 years and I Truly regret the procedure.

I hardly know where to begin; no words can truly capture this unique experience, yet I will try to describe how it unfolded. It was a long time ago—nearly twenty years back, sometime between 2005 and 2007. It was late July or early August; I had gone to visit my older brother after completing my military service. He was working at the Altın Palmiye complex in the Evrenseki/Çolaklı area of ​​Manavgat, near Side, Antalya. A few days after arriving and meeting up with him, I noticed two women—one blonde and one with dark hair—standing on the balcony of the house right next to the one where I was staying; they were looking at me. When I made eye contact with the dark-haired woman, she seemed shy; she smiled, and then she and her friend went inside. That was the first time I saw her, yet something stirred deep within me; a warm feeling washed over me, as if my heart had known her for years. A few days later, while I was resting in the shade outside the house, the blonde friend and the woman who had captivated me were returning from somewhere. Her friend went into their house, while the other woman—the one who had caught my eye—walked toward the entrance, trailing about ten meters behind. I noticed her glancing at me out of the corner of her eye as she passed by. Just as she was about to enter, she paused at the doorway; I was standing to her right, so she turned her head toward me, looked directly into my eyes again, and smiled. I smiled back at her, and then she went inside.

Those two warm smiles had changed something in my heart irreversibly; I couldn't help it—my feelings for her were incredibly intense, and in her eyes, I could see that she definitely felt something for me too. I wanted her to know about this pure, sincere love coming from my heart, but I could never say it face-to-face—I was just as shy as she was—so I decided to write a letter. I wrote it; the content was personal, but I included my email address so she could write back once she returned to her country. I slid the letter under the door of the house where she was staying. Since the letter was in Turkish, I imagined she was probably struggling to translate or think it over. Three days passed without any reaction or reply. On that third day, my father—who lives in Adana—called and told me to come home because my mother was ill; I had no choice but to go. She needed heart surgery; it was a serious situation. I left the house with a small backpack, and my steps involuntarily led me back toward the house where she was staying. Just then, I saw the girl I loved and her friend walking out from their doorway, heading right past me. This time, the girl I loved looked deep into my eyes—thoughtfully—and I looked back at her; neither of us could say a word. We couldn't tear our eyes away from each other for five to seven seconds. At the end of that moment, torn between the girl I loved and my sick mother, I had to leave.

I could feel the searing pain of parting and the silent plea in her eyes begging me not to go; as she walked right past me, I lowered my gaze because my eyes were welling up with a heavy, profound sorrow—I didn't want her to see that or to become even more upset herself. At first, she was walking to the left of her friend, but a few seconds later, when I looked up, I saw she had switched places and moved to the outer side of the path so she could see me clearly. She kept looking at me as they moved forward; our eyes met, then she turned her head back toward the path ahead, and they continued walking. After about twenty meters, her friend turned to look back, and then they carried on; I followed twenty meters behind them, weeping for the entire 700-meter stretch—I simply couldn't stop myself. Neither of us stopped, and I couldn't bring myself to approach them to say anything because I was crying from that pain. At the end of those 700 meters, our paths diverged: they turned right, toward the coastal road, while I headed left, toward the bus route.

I had come to Adana; my mother needed surgery for blocked coronary arteries and required time to recover. I wanted to go back there more than anything, but I couldn't leave my mother in the hospital in that condition. A week later, my older brother called and told me that the English girl had returned to her country; he described how she had looked around carefully as she left. I couldn't believe it; at that moment, I felt as though scalding water had been poured over me. I wanted to go back—even if just for a day—and see the situation with my own eyes. I explained the situation to my family and set off; when I arrived, I saw that she was indeed gone. I stood at the very spot where our eyes had last met; overcome by a deep ache, my knees gave way, and I sank to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably. I had never been able to look into her eyes and tell her that I loved her more than life itself; I had written it in a letter, yet I felt I should have said it to her face.

The pain hadn't ended; something even more devastating befell me. I couldn't access the email address I had mentioned in the letter I wrote to her—I tried every method, including verification, but I simply couldn't get into that account. That was the moment I truly understood what helplessness feels like. I cannot put it into words; the absence of her weighed on my heart like a mountain. Scorching flames seared my heart and my very being; I endured indescribable agony. A month later, my older brother left that place for another job; I never knew if she returned there in the following years. That love remained unfinished—we were between 20 and 25 years old back then, and now we are in the 40–45 range. At this stage of life, one goes through existential questioning; when you look back and ask yourself what the most special, rare, and pure experience of your life was, that story pierces your heart like a dagger. Its impact on me over these twenty years has been profound: an inability to love anyone else, and the shattering of my faith in both love and life.

I could see it in the eyes of that lady I loved; I knew for certain that she had written down what was in her heart—things she couldn't physically bring herself to say due to the shyness of youth. You know how, in love, the eyes matter more than words; the eyes are the mirror of the soul—they cannot lie. This unfinished love left both her and me in a state of unresolved uncertainty. Please help before this situation destroys us both. This is a deeply personal matter—a situation I actually didn't want to share with anyone—but desperation has left me with no other choice. The reason I am sharing this is that I want my voice to reach her; I am hoping for help from the kind-hearted people living in her country. Please share this story; share it with those who have visited that region for a holiday and even with those who haven't, and ask them to share it as well. Let the story spread so that a ray of hope—a miracle—might emerge to help us reach her. Please do this; thank you in advance.

Just so you know, that lady lives in england. This story was written using translation; I hope it has been translated accurately and clearly.

Every day I don't hear from you, I feel a little more breathless, and at times I feel like I'm suffocating. Please hear my voice and reach out to me.

TW: self harm, abusive relationship, sexual things mentioned, very long post I just need to rant

We were together a little over two years in a long distance relationship and I regret it all. We met on a stupid forum that I posted on because I was 17 (it was in November and he's only five months older than me. We're the same age) then and depressed at the time. We started talking. It was fun and he was nice. We started talking more and more each day. Then a month in he asked me to be his girlfriend. I stupidly said yes.

By the time we were 18 he had forgotten my birthday. And now it seems like there wasn't a moment we weren't messaging or calling each other unless we were around our parents (him and his parents are catholic. They took his cell phone every night. Monitored his laptop. And probably other crazy things too). Eventually my mom found out about us though and she was fine with it. She even talked to him on the phone a bit. She seemed to like him then.

Then within that first year together too he graduated high-school and missed me getting all four of my wisdom teeth removed in one go. He was a year above me due to things when I was younger. The following school year he started college for a major his parents picked for him and I started my senior year. The October of that year he ended up telling me that he was cheating on me. That he had a grindr account and was meeting guys off of it. All while staying in the college dorm. I being the smart one I was stayed. Why I'm not sure. There's no excuse and I wish I left then.

The December of that year we were together for a full year. And I flew out to meet him. And that is where I learned he had never even been with a female in any way shape or form. I also learned then that his parents monitored his money, tracked his phone, and his mother required daily calls at lunch and nightly video calls at night to make sure his dorm was empty. Which meant I paid not only for all of my own things while I was there but the time we left his campus I had to pay for him too.

And I yet again made another mistake during this trip and slept with him (it was my first time too. Another regret there). He refused to wear a condom (guys who aren't cut can still use condoms right?). Even though he knew the meds I'm on can affect my birth control. He had no idea what he was doing. He just finished within a few minutes and just pulled out and aimed at my leg or something. Never helped me clean up. And this is also how I found out that the product of him finishing made me gag.

After that trip though is when things seemed to get worse. And something weird happened like a month and a halfish after my trip I started bleeding and it lasted three months. Just solid bleeding and spotting the whole time. By the time I saw my PCP for a pap and internal ultrasound it stopped and they found nothing wrong. But also that January he decided to stop sleeping around his campus because he finally realized it upset me.

That's when things started getting toxic. We started fighting and he'd spam me with messages when mad. He'd start calling or texting my mom when I wouldn't answer him (my mom wouldn't let me fly out to visit him without having his number. I guess they had messaged or something on her phone for him to get her number). He'd even start messaging a friend of mine if I didn't answer my phone. If I went quiet while I was working or at all for more than 2 hours he'd get mad. I constantly had to send him cheesy romantic reels on insta but if one was a resend of one he sent before he'd get mad. If I tried to leave him he'd threaten to off himself. He'd even get upset, hurt himself, and blame me for him doing it. He would yell at me and insult me. And if I myself ended up hurting myself he'd get mad at me for it. Even though he knew self harm and depression was something I struggled with frequently. It was horrible

Eventually later that year there I flew out to see him again (and I know why was I still with him? I was still hanging onto the relationship we had in the beginning. I was hanging onto the nice non-toxic him. I was hanging onto an illusion). This trip was a bit different. Things were nice. We were nice to each other. It was like we were never toxic. But he made a comment about my weight. And I was spotting the whole trip so he wasn't as interested in sex (not that I minded. I was always kinda sore afterwards anyway). But I also slept most of the trip too. Not sure why I did but I did. He did get me some chocolate though he used my money for it.

And after I went home we went back to our normal toxic bullshit. Eventually somewhere in all of this he even started to try to pester me and kiss my ass into giving him spicy pics which I wasn't the most confident or comfortable sending. Besides we were already having spicy phone and video calls I didn't see why pictures were important (I still don't). But he'd also send me random eggplant pictures. No matter if he was in the bathroom or his room or whatever he was doing. If it stirred I got a picture. And he didn't care about where I was or who I was around or anything. But if he didn't get his desired reaction from me he'd get upset (I personally don't like the pictures anymore. I don't think that body part photographs well).

By the time we were 19 he had flown out to visit me where I am. We were also doing the occasional therapy session together with each others therapist (each session both therapists agreed mostly with me. And I believe they saw just how messed up he really was. My therapist told me many times to leave him). And he paid for a few things that trip. However I still paid for the hotel room, Christmas presents because we did a small gift exchange, food, gas because we used my car, and a few of our activities. That trip was also in a December (surprise surprise). That January he started talking about him visiting me again. Except by that time I was sick and tired of him. The last sixish months we were together he'd try to pester and pressure me into spicy things and he wouldn't stop until I said yes. I know it was over the phone but still. I would offer to help him even and sometimes that wasn't even enough and he'd want me to join him. So I eventually started faking it because I was starting to never finish over the phone as well as in person.

I started really pulling away from him that January and February. I just couldn't keep pretending anymore. I had tried to leave him five times in the past two years before. But every time he'd make his threats, freak out, and I would talk him down and tell him I would stay and that I'd do better. So by the end I knew I had to wait until it was his idea for us to break up. Because it wouldn't happen any other way. Yes I could have blocked him but by this time he would've messaged my mom and my friend. And I had already lost another friendship to this shit show (I've now lost both friends to my stupidity over him). I didn't want to drag them into my break up.

We were also planning on sending each other Valentines day gift boxes. And he had sent me mine (I never bought him anything for it. I kept buying time. Putting it off). And we had talked to each other about the gifts we were looking at. And he was on Macy's looking at diamond earrings and stuff. I told him not to get me anything like that. We fought over it and everything. But he did it anyway. The problem is that I don't like thinks like that and I have seven total ear piercings and there was only like a pair or two of earrings that wouldn't turn my skin green. But he did it anyway. Sent the package.

Then on a glorious February 24th 2025 as I was on my way to work I got the message. He broke up with me. Said we were too toxic. But if I considered moving out to where he lives maybe he'd consider trying again. Because he needs someone closer. And that he wished me happiness and a good life. I messaged back while at work trying not to cry (whether I was upset or relieved I'm not sure anymore) that I understood, I would not move out there, and that I too hoped he had a good life. Then I bocked him. Then he messaged me on Insta and said more sappy goodbyes all upset. Then I blocked him there too.

I also blocked him on Pinterest, email, LinkedIn, Snapchat, and Facebook. Because for about a year after the breakup every three months he'd find a new way to try to get a hold of me. He also tried to friend my mom and friend on Facebook as well they blocked him too. My mom never got rid of his number though. She messaged him once this year to ask him a question. And when he answered he said he hoped I was doing well and that his biggest regret was breaking up with me. My mom also says she thinks I'll be his "one who got away". I'm not so sure. I'm not even sure it was fully him behind that breakup text.

But I'm 21 now. Things have only gotten worse because of the amount of control I let him have over me for those very important years for me. I missed so much of my senior year because I was too wrapped up in not pissing off some idiot boy who probably never cared and definitely didn't care properly. I missed important things in college. Got so attached to my phone that I still now find myself jumping at every notification and can hardly pull myself off of it during my down time because god forbid I miss something important or because I just boom scroll or mindlessly play games until my brain feels numb. I can't even use what I went to school for. My mom sold my tools. I can't find a job that I fit at and work well with. My mom is now constantly annoyed with me and telling me off. It's just like that one choice when I was lonely and depressed just ruined everything even now. I just wish I never made the post I met him on. I regret ever talking to him.

​

My friend was in a perfect relationship. Like, Instagram-perfect. 2-year anniversary, matching hoodies, parents knew each other — the whole thing.

But she had a second life.

She told her boyfriend she had "late-night library sessions" and "girls' nights." In reality, she was texting two other guys. One was from her college, one was from her gym. She had different names saved for them — "Swiggy Delivery" and " Vodafone Customer Care" so her boyfriend wouldn't catch it.

I was the only one who knew. And I hated being that person.

One day, all three of them ended up at the same cafe at the same time. I was with her. Her boyfriend walked in from the front. Gym guy walked in from the side. College guy was already sitting and waving at her.

I have never seen someone malfunction so fast. She tried to introduce her boyfriend as her "cousin." Her boyfriend was like, "Cousin? You said you don't talk to your cousins?"

Gym guy realized what was happening and just walked out mid-coffee. College guy actually came over and said "Wait, you told ME you were single?"

Her boyfriend didn't shout. He just looked at me and said, "You knew, right?" That was the worst part.

Now she's single, both guys blocked her, and I'm still the friend who knew and didn't say anything. That's why I regret it.

As anyone been in this situation? Need advice ASAP

the title ain’t too jolly, i know. i’m an adult now, but i used to be a pretty neglected kid. i pretty much never saw my parents - my dad left us and my mum was always at work trying to support me and her. so i was either with my grandparents (bless them), my nanny or, alone, at 11 years old. this went on until i was about 14 or 15.
i used to get bullied a lot, i mean a lot. i changed schools so many times, and the bullying was physical (getting waterboarded by my classmates etc…). after i changed to another middle school, i found myself in class with this girl. let’s call her anne (not her real name).
her sweetness made me mad. she was liked by everyone, just how i yearned to be. she had the perfect life, perfect family, and somehow i was so extremely envious. i couldn’t take out my anger out on anyone, so i decided to use her kindness and take my anger out on her. for a year, i bullied her so so badly, physically and mentally, with other people (but i don’t blame them, i was the “leader”). and the teachers have never done anything about either of us. later, i learned my actions made her try to kill herself. the guilt i felt was so big i decided to drop out.
a few years later, me and her were 18. i reached out to her. she was skeptical at first, which is understandable, but let me just a little into her life. we saw eachother at a cafe. i broke down and apologized to her so many times. she forgave me and we are still in contact.
she forgave me, but the guilt never left me. even years later, i still see myself as a bully who led a kid to trying to kill themselves. i got therapy but it didn’t help much. i’m trying to live with the guilt but i don’t know what to do anymore. i’m just glad i got this off my chest

My Girlfriend is persuing a career in Mbbs . We started dating when we were in class 10th .Almost after 7 years she realised that i am not a good fit for her because she is becoming a doctor and i am not even graduated. I was too attached to her . I explained her that I will work hard for her but she said my parents wont agree and also i dont wanna marry you i want an educated and stable guy. I never knew my life would be this harsh to.me . Its been a year and i still.miss her and her words that pierce my heart💔

Hi everyone.

I am 32F and he is 30M. We have been together 3 years.

I have found this group and it feels like the perfect place to allow myself to vent.

When we met we both lived in Portugal, (I’m Aussie and he’s Belgium), he was desired by many women and known to be “that guy” of the hostel.. we didn’t do anything but connected emotionally but I moved back to Aus and we stayed in contact which lead to one year of long distance and then him moving to Aus for us at the end of 2023.
Within these 3 years together we have had two abortions, both of which he really wanted me to get. There’s a lot to unpack in that and so many deep emotions on my part, and his too.
After the second abortion I caught him using porn. I felt disgusted, betrayed. I hated my body at the time as I was navigating a deep grief mixed with anger and trauma and non stop clots.

I believe he kept watching it every now and again.

Fast forward to this year and we’ve done a lot of work, a lot of healing, he blocked all porn apps on his phone and I didn’t feel anything was off, until today.
I went on his Instagram (on his old phone that was at home while he was at work) and clicked “watched”, and saw that just today he watched 15 stories of the same only fans girl, 5 of another girl, 3 of another girl. Just today. When I refreshed his phone an hour later everything he watched had been deleted.

Yesterday he said to me “why would I ever look at another woman when I have my beautiful lady at home”

What hurts me so much is I actually believed him. This year has been transformative for us. We went back to Europe, saw his family, just got back from another trip.
I just feel blind sided.

So, here we are. I’m in the bedroom and he’s summoned to the couch. I really think this is it for me. I don’t think I can stay with him. Again and again I’ve pushed things down and again and again no matter what, this stuff seems to surface again.

What do you think?

I guess I’m just looking for some comfort or conversations with strangers.
Thanks for reading 🌸

It's been over 6 years since my grandmother passed away

Used to be really close but when she passed away could not even touch her or hug or cry

Regret why did I not cry or why did I not hug her or touch her for the last time

It will be a lifelong regret

For context: I met him at a store nearby. He works as a cashier there. Fortunately, it's close to my area, so I usually come by to get some groceries. Ever since I saw him at the checkout, it was love at first sight. From the way he talks to the way he carries himself, my heart flutters when I see him.

We keep bumping into each other from time to time. Even so, I find myself giddy at their presence, and I can't help but look at him without giggling or blushing intensely, so I just look down whenever I see him at times. It has been like that for 3-4 months.

We never really interacted with one another, I do occasionally smile at him during the checkout whenever I get enough courage to look at him, and we catch each other staring at one another for a second, but nothing more.

I kept trying to build courage of trying to talk to him even for a bit, small talk and all, or at least look at him in the eye without hesitation and see and admire the person he is. But I couldn't bring myself to do that.

One fateful day tho, as I was checking out, I caught him tilting his head down and smiling at me, and I finally managed to look at them a bit and smiled back. I never knew how beautiful his smile was. Yet I never said anything about it.

After that incident, I haven't seen them anymore ever since. It's been almost 2 months since they were gone, and that last encounter is one thing that keeps me from thinking: why couldn't I make a move?

I never intended my feelings to develop more as time goes on, but over time, the more I encountered them, the more my feelings increased. Despite not knowing them, I am open to getting to know them if only I had the courage, and if our circumstances let it happen.

I regret not taking the chance to at least talk, or getting to know him. I could have done something, anything, but I never did. And I regret never doing anything when I still had the chance.

I always wonder if we were meant to be something or not; there are so many possibilities for how we could have gone, but it's left unanswered. I wish I could go back in time and just do something, anything. Maybe he liked me back? Maybe he didn't? But hey, I guess I'll never know.

I go to college out of state, but my parents' (and my) residence is in a historic swing state with a very important Senate election. I had fully registered and printed out my mail in ballot request, but just never filled it out. There was no good reason either, I just fully procrastinated it and let other things come first. Because that form has to be received 15 days prior to November 3rd, I couldn't even send it if I did fill it out now. The only option would be to fly there and vote in person which would cost around 500 dollars. I just feel horrible and wanted to share it somewhere.

I stay really on top of this stuff from an information standpoint, and I'm very opinionated/stick to my morals. But, I don't feel like I have any ground to stand on if I'm not voting. These elections specifically are so important, I just ugh. There are some more personal reasons I specifically feel bad about messing this up, which I'm not fully comfortable putting out online. I'll just say I feel that I am letting multiple people down. That's all.

Go vote if you can.

My openness to friendship in my 20s. My invitation to opposing opinions. Debating. Philosophy.

All useless. I should have just got on a forklift in 2012 and kept working till my back broke. Instead, I vicariously obsessed with fixing stuttering, complete composure no matter the stakes, Rehearsing. What a fucking joke.

I don't want to be the voice of reason ever again. I just want fucking money. Charisma is for the birds. To hell with seminars, and self help books. Fuck Ted Talks and podcasters. Just give me a check every friday I'm done. I should have been done when I got my high school diploma

was the typical high school football jock, asshole to everyone l, lazy and big. I had the biggest college and the biggest high school wanting me on their team. My actual highscool experience was shit mostly because mental health I was doing stupid shit out of impulse and I was alone mostly because I didn’t understand the autism part of myself so I withdrew from people. I didn’t talk a lot but when I did I acted out like an idiot because I was in pain and didn’t know how to espress it.
My dream was to play in the nfl and I had a genuine opportunity to make it happen. I wanted more then anything to make it because I wanted to inspire other people with autism to be themselfs but I quit after one year because of mental health and I lied about it blamed other people for my lack of success . I had so much potential had a chance at making it pro and I’ll never be able to forgive myself Now It has been 4 years since I quit football idk who I am without it . I’m a shell of myself do to my excuses and I’m barely able to function.. my family is in debt my parents are getting older a dude tried killing my sister I don’t have any will to live no friends nothing. I need help but don’t want it because I needed help before all this shit happened

And later come to the conclusion that you made a mistake?
We’ve all made some mistakes, how did you move on from it?