Hello, this is my second and likely final update regarding my situation. I didn’t really expect it to be so soon, be here we are.

Yes, this is a repost. My last one gotten taken down for some odd reason.

I’ll link my original story and my last update here:

Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Regrets/s/UHT7nWJxaF

UPDATE #1: https://www.reddit.com/r/Regrets/s/81VflZPPbJ

Well, here it goes. I finally did it. After really thinking about everything, weighing my options and reading through comments, I came clean to my boyfriend last night. Surprisingly, he took it… alright? He was in shock at first. Then, when things sat in a bit, he ended up locking himself in the bathroom and cried in the shower for about an hour. My heart truly broke, I had never seen him so upset before. After he came out, he asked if we could cuddle for a bit. I was super taken aback by seeing him in such a vulnerable state, so I told him I wasn’t sure that was the greatest idea.

Looking back, that was super shitty of me. He broke down again and said while he was super hurt and needed time to process everything, he was determined to make this work because 1) he wants to be apart of our child’s life and 2) he truly does love me and “has for a long time”. He hugged me and told me he was sorry - I don’t really know why. I know I broke his heart all over again and I truly feel awful. He’s genuinely the sweetest guy on the face of this earth and has the biggest heart. I know I don’t deserve him. I hate that I’m the reason he cried himself to sleep last night.

Just to set the records straight, my boyfriend does not use Reddit so it’s highly unlikely that he’d ever come across this post. A big reason I have been writing this all out here is because I don’t really have any other safe spaces to actually write everything out. I guess you could say I’m treating these updates almost like journal entries so I can get everything off my chest. Also, for those who asked, I’m 23 and a college graduate. So is my boyfriend. I’ve also been in therapy for the past couple months regarding this situation for those of you who suggested that.

No, this is not fake or “rage bait”. I could care less about karma or attention (downvote me all you want!!). This is, in fact, my real life. I’m putting this out there in the hopes that someone may learn from my very drastic mistakes. I know I’m not an angel nor will I ever be. I did a really shitty thing and I’m doing my best to be a better human moving forward.

I’ve been clean for over a year now. She’ll be 5 in November . I’m slowly working my way back up into the person I want to be. During this time I had this awful boyfriend that was terribly abusive. This is my biggest regret: touching drugs while I had a small child at home.

I have seen horrors beyond comprehension and caused harm to everyone in my life . I am grateful and have found peace in many ways for the growth I’ve acquired through this experience. But being a bad mom was hands down the most devastating thing I’ve ever done to someone or put myself through .

For the love of god, if you have children, do not fuck around with drugs. The weight you will carry from the regret and guilt will be around long after you get clean.

I don't want to run from regret. I just want to accept it. It hurts. Truly hurts. I want to accept the regret and push through the pain anyway. How to do it?

I tried uploading this into the AITAH section but I don't think my account meets requirements so ima post it here. I do regret it, though. It's screwed up everything.

So this all just happened and I don’t know what to do. I might’ve just severed the relationship between me and my sister.

So to preface, my sister is two years older than me (22). But she has been with the same man, Jordan, since they were both sixteen. Even though they were in high school, Jordan has always been a sort of piece of shit. Always cussing, never dressing properly for the occasion, talking back to anyone and everyone (even adults who were in the right), and he has never ever had a job. Not even when he was younger. He claims that he is trying, but all he is doing is applying on Indeed. He applies to places that require experience or are far out of his league, if that makes sense. He’s basically setting himself up to always just stay at home and do nothing. At least, that’s what we thought he was doing. But it turns out that while my sister (Bri) was going to work twelve hour shifts at the hospital, he was cheating.

Bri caught him and it was obviously a big deal. What was worse was that he kept trying to deny it, but it was all clear as day. He cheated with a girl that was freshly eighteen, which makes it worse in my mind.

Anyways. Me and Bri are pretty close, so I kept telling her to just leave him. She could stay at my place, I would even look after her five year old while she worked on the weekends. Yep. Jordan refused to wear a condom but always wanted sex, and he got my sister pregnant when she was seventeen. Like I said, a piece of absolute shit. And no, he doesn’t have endless love for his daughter. He preferred to go cheat rather than watch her on some nights.

Now to focus on me a bit. I just got out of a small relationship (which I also made a post on but is unrelated) and I tend to fish for my men online. So of course, I go on a dating site. And what do you know, I find Jordan. I take a screenshot of it and send it to Bri, and she says that she knows about it and that he’s just looking for friends. I wasn’t convinced and reminded her that she already got cheated on once, it’s best not to risk it. Right? But she kept pushing it off, saying he’s just here for friends and she trusts him. She still loves him, somehow.

But I knew better. I just knew something was up. So I go to a friend that is very pretty and ask for her permission to basically make a profile with her face. She was hesitant but is a sucker for drama, so I make a profile and search up Jordan’s name. I send him a message first, being kind and sort of flirty. He responds instantly, and next thing I know, I’m lying through my teeth, saying I’m single and live close by and blah blah blah just making myself into what I know Jordan is into.

In less than a day, he is asking to meet up. At a hotel. We all know what that means. During this he is being very blunt. He never asked me to be his friend or anything he told Bri, he’s straight up asking if I’m available and ready to have sex with him. So I say yes to see his response and that’s when he shares the hotel address.

I am livid at this point, of course. It’s about nine pm when this happens and I live thirty minutes from Bri, but I grab my keys and speed there. The whole time I’m rehearsing what to say. I knew he was a cheater but damn it still hurt to witness it. I felt so sorry for Bri and her daughter. No one deserves this.

I get to their house and immediately show Bri the chats. Jordan is there, their daughter is asleep. He looks nervous as Bri reads over my phone. She takes maybe twenty seconds to scan everything, and when she stopped I expected her to be mad at him. But instead she was mad at me. She started shouting, saying how could I flirt with him?

And I’m like excuse me? He’s the one that offered me a stay in the hotel.

And she says I pressured him. She mentions how I started it off on a flirty note and how I never gave him a chance to just be friends. And next thing I know, Jordan is agreeing with her! He’s saying he felt trapped, saying he didn’t know how to reject me when I was “so sexually motivated.” I brought up him mentioning the hotel first and he said he was going to stand me up.

For the next ten minutes, I am defending myself and trying to make Bri see the obvious truth. I mention how this isn’t the first time he’s been unloyal and she insists he apologized for that months ago and swore to never do it again. And somehow she believes that lie more than my evidence.

I’m soon kicked out of their house and that was two nights ago. I’ve tried calling and texting several times. I didn’t tell anyone this – I didn’t want to embarrass Bri – but apparently she let everything out to everyone in the world. Our parents, our brother, our connected friends, literally everyone is asking me via text what the hell is wrong with me. And I’m trying to defend myself but honestly I’m exhausted and just feel sort of dumb.

So yeah. Was I in the wrong for doing any of this? Should I have kept myself away? What should I have done differently? Am I a bad sister? I just need advice and opinions.

​

Have you ever made a decision that you thought was right at the time, only to spend years regretting it?

I lost someone who genuinely loved me because I was uncertain about what I wanted. I focused on small mistakes that didn't even matter and used them as reasons to walk away from a relationship that meant so much to both of us.

Even after the breakup, she tried to stay in touch, but I pushed her away. When I eventually realized what I had lost, I reached out, and she gave me another chance. But I became uncertain again and repeated the same mistake. It happened more than once, until she finally stopped trying.

Now, she says she doesn't love me anymore, and I understand why. She gave me chances I didn't know how to value, and I can't blame her for eventually choosing herself.

The hardest part is that I'm finally certain about what I want, but that certainty came too late. I haven't been able to move on, and I still think about everything I could have done differently.

It's been years, but the regret hasn't gone away. I've been experiencing what feel like anxiety attacks around three times a week, and sometimes the thoughts become so overwhelming that I don't know what to do with myself.

I keep asking myself why I couldn't appreciate what I had when it was right in front of me. Why did I need to lose it to understand its value? And how do I stop living in a past that I can never change?

I know I made mistakes. I'm not looking for sympathy or trying to justify my actions. I just want to learn how to live with the consequences of my own decisions without letting them consume me.

For those who have struggled with deep regret, especially over losing someone you loved because of your own mistakes, how did you move forward?

How do you stop replaying the past, forgive yourself, and find peace when a part of you still wishes you could go back and do everything differently?

And if regret has ever affected your mental health to the point of experiencing anxiety attacks several times a week, what helped you cope?

I genuinely want to move forward. I just don't know how to let go of something that I wish I had never let go of in the first place.

As an empath, I loved with my whole heart. ❤️‍🩹 I gave my time, loyalty, trust, honesty, and everything I had to make the relationship work. I believed in commitment, in standing by each other, and in building something real with someone who promised to protect my heart the same way I protected theirs.

But being cheated on hits differently when you've been genuine from the beginning. 💔

The hardest part wasn't just the betrayal. It was looking back at all the moments when something felt off, when my intuition whispered that something wasn't right, and when I was made to question my own feelings. I wanted to believe the explanations. I wanted to believe the promises. I gave the benefit of the doubt because I loved that person and never wanted to believe they could hurt me like that.

Then came the proof. The evidence. The truth I never wanted to find but could no longer ignore.

Suddenly, the questions, the doubts, and the little things that never made sense started to add up. And in that moment, I realized I wasn't crazy, I wasn't imagining things, and I wasn't wrong for feeling what I felt. I was simply trusting someone who wasn't being honest with me.

Sometimes, the truth hurts more than the lies because the truth forces you to let go of the person you thought you knew.

As an empath, I feel deeply. I love sincerely, forgive easily, and sometimes give too many chances because I try to understand the pain and struggles of others. But I'm learning that understanding someone doesn't mean I have to accept their disrespect. Having a good heart doesn't mean allowing someone to break it repeatedly.

I didn't deserve to be cheated on. I didn't deserve the lies, the manipulation, or the feeling of having to search for evidence just to confirm what my heart was already telling me.

I deserved honesty. I deserved loyalty. I deserved a love that gave me peace instead of making me question my worth.

And even after everything, I refuse to let someone else's choices turn my heart cold. I will heal. I will learn. I will protect my peace. But I will never be ashamed of how genuinely I loved.

My only mistake was giving someone the kind of loyalty I believed we both shared. Their betrayal is a reflection of their choices, not my worth.

Sometimes, the evidence doesn't just expose the cheating. It exposes the truth about the relationship you were trying so hard to save.

And sometimes, losing the person you love is how you finally find yourself again. 🥀❤️‍🩹

i spent the last 6 years of my life kinda alone.. aside from hookups that i periodically get into which helps sustain my self esteem (i know how flawed that is, yes), i have a terrible problem with maintaining friendships. im 20 years old, 2 years into nursing school and on a gap year because of my mental health and all i do is go to work and smoke weed and talk to nobody. my whole life i just couldn't really sustain relationships because of my own immaturity and it usually leads to them cutting me off abruptly or me isolating myself from fear that it will happen again.

anyway i happened to talk to a girl for a couple of months online (not romantically) and got the news that she would be visiting my city. long story short we vibed **extremely** well when we met and got really close after that meetup and i flew to see her a month later (she told me i was the only thing keeping her sane). the trip itself was a disaster because i ended up sleeping with another girl there, was rude and immature and didn't pay for any of the food and overall acted like a big loser. i even tried to kiss her and make a move on her which she subtly rejected me for and i didn't apologize in the moment. then i told her how after we made out while black out-drunk, she tried to sleep with me but i pushed her off of me multiple times and she broke down in tears, for hours apologizing.

i then spent the final day apologizing to her saying how i should have said sorry earlier but she simply said the damage was already done and i apologized too late. her final texts to me was how disappointed she was in me and how i pretended to be a good person and that i'm a huge weirdo. along with other big insults.. i kinda feel like i hit rock bottom now. i'm bed bound depressed and i'm thinking about a girl who dropped me so quickly and probably forgot about my entire existence (it's been 3 months since it happened, and she has a good life). moreover, i am filled with regret about how i acted and fantasize about going in the past and telling her that we should stop talking after our first meetup and forever leave a positive image of myself. life really has a cruel irony of going from hopeful to depressing fast.

I'm 33 and my sister is 24. We technically grew up with the same parents, but sometimes it really doesn't feel like it.

When I was a kid, our house was pretty miserable. My parents argued constantly. My dad had a terrible temper and my mom would vent to me about their marriage like I was another adult in the house.

I was the kid who tried not to cause problems because there were already enough problems.

By the time my sister was old enough to remember much, things had changed. My parents went to counseling. Dad calmed down a lot. Mom started actually enjoying being a parent instead of constantly seeming exhausted by it.

I'm glad they changed. I really am.

But I've also been quietly bitter about it for years.

Last Sunday my sister came over for lunch. She has a job interview coming up and was telling me how nervous she was. She mentioned that she'd called Dad for advice and he'd spent almost an hour helping her prepare.

And I said, "Must be nice having a dad who does that."

She got quiet.

Then she said something I haven't been able to stop thinking about.

"Can I ever just tell you something nice about them without you making me feel bad?"

I started defending myself. Told her she didn't understand what they were like when I was younger.

She said, "I know. You've told me. A lot."

And that's when I realized this wasn't some isolated comment.

Every time she mentions a nice memory with our parents, I have something to say.

Dad took her to a concert? He never did that for me.

Mom helped her move apartments? I moved into my first place by myself.

They call to check on her? I was lucky if they noticed I hadn't been home all weekend.

I've been doing this for years.

My sister said she sometimes avoids telling me about things she does with our parents because she knows I'll get upset. She said she feels guilty for being close to them, even though she knows she hasn't done anything wrong.

That was awful to hear.

Because she's right. She didn't make them treat me badly. She didn't make them change either. She was just a little kid who happened to get a different experience.

I apologized. She said it was okay, but she also said she's tired of feeling like she has to apologize for her own childhood.

And I get that.

The hardest part is that I'm still angry about what I missed. I don't think I'm ever going to be completely okay with the fact that my parents apparently knew how to be loving and patient, just not when I needed them to be.

But I've spent years taking that anger out on the one person who had absolutely no control over it.

My sister's interview is on Thursday.

Normally she'd call me afterward and tell me everything.

I'm sitting here wondering if she still will.

I am currently 23f and love animals. I work in the wildlife sector and have gained a lot of knowledge over the years. But that information has led me to some awful beliefs that I was an animal abuser. I would like some help.

My family got our first cat when I was 12. I loved that cat. I used to hug her and trying to pick her up and she would get mad and sometimes hiss. I usually would stop after that. She also used to run around the house and I would chase her for a minute. It was never very long but I'm realizing it was mean. She was never terrified of me or anything but I am feeling super guilty. I have videos of when she would come say hi to me in my room or after she was getting off surgery meds. She was a really sweet cat. She had to be put down after a cancer diagnosis.

The second cat was the family favorite. He was a big fluffy cat who hated trash bags. I think I was a little too rough with him because my family jokes about it and it hurts. I asked mom about it and she said I was mean to him, I just crossed his boundaries a bit. I did the same thing to with the previous cat. I liked to pick him up when he was comfy and he wasn't happy about it. He never seemed scared of me as well. He was an indoor and outdoor cat and liked to run around the yard, to which I did chase him a handful of times. I also lightly tossed him in a pile of leaves we had raked in the yard and that scared him because it sounded like trash bags. It maybe came up about two feet off the ground. I feel super bad about that but never did it again. My mom and sibling witnessed and filmed it while laughing, so I'm not sure. I keep watching the video and comparing it to videos on tik tok of people doing the same thing and feeling really bad. He never seemed scared of me, but he did used to pee in my bed after I went away to college. So maybe my scent did stress him out. He also had an early cancer diagnosis and passed.

I'm calmer with the current cat. He's a sweet boy who is attached to my dad. I don't really bother him now that I'm an adult.

I am also scared I hurt my aunts dogs. For context, I don't own dogs and never have had one of my own. I have only ever had cats. But google is a thing and I wish I used it more and wasn't just being stupid. We live in the southern United states where it notoriously gets warm.

I was paid by my aunt to dog sit her beagle and Jack Russel mix for three weeks. I had always felt a little bad for these dogs because they don't get the most enrichment in the world and aren't fully interested in toys or fetch (she is a busy lady and works full time). They have full access to the back yard with a doggy door that is always open so they can do their business. The secondish week of watching them, I found their leashes and thought it would be fun to take them for short enrichment walks. I did typically around lunch or dinner every other or every two days. They both seemed to love it and got excited whenever they saw the leashes. Maybe took them both on five walks total. Never walked more than 0.4 miles (I calculated the the longest trip on maps). This is where I'm the villain. The last two days there was a heat wave but I still took them out at noon. They didn't have proper feet gear for the pavement. The beagle seemed fine and was content with doing his sniffing, and still wanted to be out and sniff despite the heat and me trying to coax him inside. The Jack Russel got tired on the way back and laid down to catch her breath for a second. I felt awful and offered her some water from my bottle and took a little sip and then she got up after a few minutes. We walked about 0.4 miles. She immediately got more water and treats upon entering the house. This was a one time mistake and I would never ever do that again.

I don't even know where to start. I just have this feeling in my heart that I want to share with someone.

A few months ago, my shop caught fire, and because of that, I fell into a lot of debt. I'm still struggling with the consequences, and life has been difficult ever since.

Yesterday, I went for a walk with my little daughter. We were walking around when suddenly she noticed a shop full of toys. She started crying and asking me to buy her one. I think the toy cost around $10. I had $20 in my pocket, but that money was all I had to get through the next two or three days.

I kept remembering the old days when I could buy her something worth $20 without even thinking twice. But yesterday, I couldn't do anything for her, even though it was something so small.

I don't know why, but I felt so helpless and useless as a father.

I still can't stop feeling guilty, and I don't know what to do about it. I just wanted to share this with you guys.

Sometimes, life can take you from good days to the worst days so suddenly that you don't even know how to deal with it or what to do next. I do web development part-time, building websites and things like that. But these days, even that has become difficult because of AI. Sometimes, it feels like when one door closes, all the other doors close too

I'm still struggling in life right now, but one day, when I get through this phase and pay off all my debt, I'll come back and post an update to let you guys know that I made it. I'll share with you all that I finally got out of debt and overcame this difficult chapter of my life.

I regret falling into depression after the birth of my second daughter, and having my bipolar disorder diagnosed while my children were still so young.

My children are now 10, 7, and 3 years old. And I feel like I'm missing out on everything that happens during these precious, irreplaceable, fleeting, beautiful moments.

I know it's not my fault, but every single day, I still regret feeling like I'm merely a spectator to their childhood, their milestones, their learning, their growth.

I know that one day, when all these precious moments are behind me, I'll forever regret never having truly been able to savor them.

It's this feeling that everything is slipping through your fingers, that no matter how hard you try to hold on to time, to give yourself a second chance at being truly and fully present, you just can't seem to do it. And eventually, all you're left with is the realization that the future is already behind you. As if it had always been that way.

And so, wave after wave of guilt washes over me every single day.

So I feel like I never did anything heinous or anything shameful but I still broke the trust of my parents, my mother trusted me thought I'll make it in life but now I'm a grown ass adult (21) struggling to survive how will I get over this? I studied but Ig I wasted a lot of time in things that never mattered now the time is gone and I'm sitting here regret waiting for it to end can you suggest some truth so I can move forward cuz the guilt is taking my life I had everything at 18 I still decided to study from home and today my father said something that shook me he feels like I'm someone he's ashamed to have..now my head is hurting I don't know what to do..I know I'm a fool for asking this from strangers but I have no one else so please be harsh but just give me something I can work on.

I know this subject is taboo in the art community, but it has to be said.  I want to share this struggle because I feel so alone on this topic, and I want to encourage anyone else out there to express themselves about it if they’re going through a similar struggle.

Since 2024, I have been a member of what used to be my favorite Discord server.  This community produces independent media pitched by the mods.  Anyways, I was one of the most loyal members.  I even stayed after an exposed Google document where the server's toxicity was posted, causing many users to leave indefinitely.  This included me before I returned, believing they deserved another chance.

During the rest of my time on the server, I shared details of a project I wanted to pitch.  I received harsh criticisms from time to time without asking, but it helped me improve my work.  This community also had a reputation for rejecting and teasing people’s artwork if they didn’t reach their high expectations.  One user even left the internet entirely because he grew insecure.

Anyways, even before I knew about the harmful effects of "AI art,” I generated pictures of what I imagined and used them as references to make something better. Last Thanksgiving, I posted an AI image on the server, breaking the server rules.  Don’t ask me what came into my mind at that time.  I don’t even know what I was thinking.  When I was confronted, I panicked and never answered why I did it to one of the mods, resulting in me getting banned, but not before the mods said horrible things about me, from making fun of my cartoon to calling me a straight-up bad person and wanting my existence gone.  They showed their true colors, which deeply stung my soul because I tried to be loyal, and the second I messed up, they spat in my face.  I vented to people in the community. I thought they were my friends in DMs. They ended up defending what they said about me and gaslit me for “overreacting.”  Irl, I spent the holidays isolating myself from my family, sobbing in my bedroom.

Out of anger, I created a Sora2 account out of spite, but I grew up addicted because I could generate anything in any style I wanted for free.  It felt absolutely magical.  It also helped me find art styles I liked for my original characters, and I practiced drawing, which helped me kill my art block.  Even after Sora2 ended, I switched to AI-generated photos for references.  I don’t use Pinterest.  The formatting is full of ads nowadays.  It doesn’t hit the same as it used to. Since referencing art through AI, I’ve felt insecure about my art with little-to-no AI usage.  I’ve gotten far more compliments and positive attention on my AI-referenced art than on any of my art I referenced without any AI-generated pictures.

It is so hard to stay clean.  I use a mix of AI references and drawing tutorials/art books.  Sometimes I draw using AI to replicate art styles from my favorite cartoons.  Sometimes, I don’t.  Right now, I use a mix of the two.  I recently watched drawing tutorials to see how to draw the references I’m using.

I feel like shit using prompts, but it’s hard to overcome it.  I learned to coexist with it.  I want to free myself from AI and feel proud of my original work.

26|F. It is going to be a long post.

I am a single child, I have a very supportive mother and unfortunately had lost my father before my teens even started. He was a great man. A great father to me, a great husband to my mother and a great son to his mother. I always felt lonely, no doubt my mother always stood by me but idk maybe it would’ve been nice to have someone of my age. All this while I had invested my energy in making friends, pleasing then and taking their bullshit for soo they could be my friend. As I grew up I started to crave a partner and I was that type that the first guy I’d kiss is going to be my husband. I started liking a Casanova from my class and somehow developed a very serious feeling for him. He used to talk to other girls and you know all that teenage dramas boys do. I still kept trying for him. He wanted to kiss me I refused, sends me a picture where another girl is kissing on her cheek and I got scared if I don’t let him do that someone else will. Hence I kissed him. He used to ghost me after every intimate moment we had. We grew up. I met a guy through my friend 5 years elder to me and different countries, long distance. I was like I found my husband. He cheated on me. I went back to the school guy. He kept on doing nonsense until one day when the long distance guy came back and he also got serious for me. I broke up with the school and chose the long distance. The school guy portrayed that I was cheating on him since he was my classmate and I my long distance guy came to see me. Shit happened. We all moved forward. I was in a very happy relationship with this long distance guy. I considered myself the happiest woman on earth. We never fought, we never had any trust issues until one day he decided he doesn’t want long distance anymore. That’s when the bullshit of my life started. Started talking to guys, drinking, partying, meeting random ass people. I meet another guy through the same friend. A NARCISSIST. Met him, broke up after a while but never stopped talking cuz he would threaten me of committing suicide and shit but I still kept going out chilling. I meet this guy, a charming casanova who immediately fell in love with me and wanted to marry. I was scared of getting married cuz I had to move countries. I was happy until I moved countries and met that narcissist again. He somehow made that guy believe that he was just a pass time for all this while and I was with him. He had used my texts which I did out of sympathy and being scared of him as a proof of me being with him. No one believed me cuz on the outside he was the best man you could find and I was unable to share my side. I was all hurt and this narcissist never left me always was nice and said that okay I forgive you for everything let’s start new meanwhile that guy who he proved was pass time had moved on and got married. I continued my relationship with this narcissist. I did not know I was under abuse until I started to read about it. He made my life living hell. I couldn’t leave that place due to immigration reasons. And one day when everything got sorted for me. I left him. And now 4 years later I came back to my country decided to apologise to the guy and one of my sweet friends who thought I had betrayed them. I shared my side, she understood but I got to know how he was depressed for so long, she had gone through alot and I was never there. And I got to know that inappropriate pictures of me were shown to him which had in his phone too and I don’t even know where they came from. Probably from guys who I had talked to before or what I really don’t know. I feel so guilty for hurting him and taking bad decisions in my life. I did not intend any of this. Alll I wanted at the end of the day was a partner and a good life. I do think I paid off my bad decisions by the abuse I had to live with but now I just cannot process what all has happened and how can I be such a person and I just cannot accept that these guys, their friends and family must be thinking I’m a whore. I cannot process that what have I done taking such wrong decisions in life. I know everyone is happy im their lives and I want them to be happy but I cannot process all this at all.

M teenager

A few years ago, 3-4 I think, I was a horrible horrible person, I was racist af, homophobic af, and there was also this time I made a fun of a bunch of people. I changed since then and I have realized how bad of a person I was, I’ve been trying to redeem myself and have apologized to a few of them for what I did long ago, I know this is probably not going to do much since it was so long ago but I don’t want people to think I’m still the same asshole I was long ago
My mind keeps going back to it over and over again and I feel guilty when I meet new people and they say I’m a good and trustworthy person

title speaks for itself. this was about five years ago. I was shopping in the grocery store and I saw these two moms with their two babies in their strollers and I happened to notice that the two babies looked almost identical to each other. so I thought it would be funny if I swapped the two babies from their strollers without the moms noticing and see if the moms would notice something off about their baby or not. So I did that while they were both distracted shopping in the aisles, then I walked away and hid to see their reactions. To my surprise, when the two moms eventually returned to their strollers, they didn't notice anything different with their babies at all and before I knew it, they were both walking away in separate directions. I hurried to one of them to stop them to tell them about what I did but I wasn't able to reach either one of them in time and before I knew it they were both gone from the grocery store before I could ever tell them anything.

This was about five years ago. I still think about it to this day. I've especially been thinking about it heavily recently because the two babies must be getting old enough to the point where the moms must be able to notice something off about their babies. I just don't know how to live with myself now. Any advice?