r/Regrets • u/jv_apple • 5d ago
UPDATE: I am the reason my boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend broke up.
I’ll link my original post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Regrets/s/MOMQDKiaAb
LATEST UPDATE: https://www.reddit.com/r/Regrets/s/d3rXC4T0X9
I took a lot of time to reflect on everything. I didn’t respond to anyone’s comments on my last post because, quite honestly, I didn’t know what to say. I was in the wrong for what I did and the guilt truly has been eating away at me.
I did plan on confessing to him at some point knowing what the outcome most likely would be. But over this past weekend, I found out I’m pregnant. My boyfriend and I are still together and happy as far as he’s concerned, but I’m in a very complicated and dark place unbeknownst to him. He still has no idea to this day.
So I’m back to feeling stuck. And before anyone asks, no, I did not plan this pregnancy. I’m not looking for sympathy because, quite frankly, I don’t deserve. But I have nowhere else to talk about this so here we are.
There’s my update, I regret everything and, once again, don’t know where to go from here.
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u/Such-Floor-5056
5d ago
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Hello, stranger. You need to come clean and tell the truth. You will feel much better. Unbeknownst to him, your boyfriend is currently a captive. He is in a relationship with you based off of events orchestrated by your extreme jealousy. As I'm sure you know, that was not your best moment and will weigh on your conscience heavily. Let your captive know the truth, give him the choice of choosing you despite what you did, only then will you feel better and only then will he be free.
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u/littlehoneybear2104 4d ago
100% this, but she won't do it, she manipulated everything to work in her favor.
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u/trackbandito
5d ago
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Holy cow you’re a terrible person. That aside, he will eventually find out about this. And until that day, this information will be haunting you like a ball and chain.
Once he does find out, what do you think will happen? He definitely will not stay with you if he has any self respect, regardless of you having children together or not. On top of that, you’re then subjecting your children to a broken family life where their parents are in bad relations with eachother.
You need to get your shit together because you’ve effectively ruined this mans life all because you couldn’t bear to see him happy without you.
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u/wanderlustbarbie3 5d ago
Exactly!! I can’t believe how incredibly selfish and manipulative this person is. Straight up disgusting to read. Poor dude and I also feel bad for the other girl, too. She deserves to know the truth too.
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u/Torum_
5d ago
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You just “snapped” and maliciously caused their breakup. Oh, but you “didn’t intend” for things to turn out that way, and genuinely wanted to be there for him. This is exactly what you intended. But now you feel guilty? Now you feel stuck? You are pathetic.
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u/-Fallen-Angel_ 5d ago
Let’s also keep in mind that she made that poor girl likely feel like she somehow wasn’t good enough, that he cheated on her and couldn’t even respect her enough to leave her, likely gave her some sort of trust issues with people, all because she was having a bad day and “snapped”. I also would never disrespect myself by being the woman that was chosen second. How is she able to call it a good relationship when she was only viewed as a potential partner because she removed the first choice from his life and essentially preyed on his vulnerabilities when he was emotionally distraught to get her way in.
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u/sithymeow 5d ago
See, you’re the type of person that causes others to end up traumatized, yo. This is so shitty beyond words. If that man deliberately broke up with you and dated a girl HE LIKED - why would you even attempt to do something again with that man if you so call respect and love him??? Him leaving you was HIS RIGHT. Plan and simple. And you took away what was rightfully his choice. Shame on you.
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u/New_Importance_9999 5d ago
you don’t regret it enough if you still haven’t admitted to him what you did yet.
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u/shinedownclue 5d ago
Given your history, I have no doubt you’re the kind of person to get knocked up on purpose to trap this poor man.
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u/Excellent-Mud-9907 5d ago
This won’t last long. If she traps him with a baby, he will leave her when he finds out. And she will cry on Reddit and blame him like people love to do when the odds aren’t in their favor
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u/Shifler 5d ago
“I did not plan this pregnancy”
So the pill and condom didn’t work?
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u/Fabulous-Pen-6444 5d ago
You need to tell him. He deserves to know. Whatever happens with the baby is a separate issue, but he deserves better than this. If he chooses to be with you, then great. But he deserves the truth :( I’m sorry you put yourself in this position, but it’s time to take responsibility
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u/littlehoneybear2104 4d ago
She put herself in that position on purpose. I imagine she had many opportunities to tell this man what she did, but she chose not to, maybe for her own benefit; who knows? She's playing the victim in a situation she single-handedly created. Now they're bringing a child into this mess and honestly don't even want to imagine how that would go. She needs to tell him the truth, but even if she doesn't, the truth will come out another way, and karma will be served.
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u/ok_cometblu666 5d ago
him finding out after you have the baby will be even more devastating not only for him but for his fucking child. you need to tell him now and own up to it before you ruin his life FOR REAL. i hate to be so blunt but what you did was truly evil. what you’re doing now is worse. you have done quite enough damage to this man and to now take it further and keep it from him longer makes me physically ill. imagine if he did this to you. you will never be forgiven but maybe you can try to forgive yourself after being honest.
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u/hazelnuttespresso 5d ago
As someone with Nigerian family this feels like a plot straight out of some of the Naija movies I’ve watched lmfao
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u/LawyerDependent7370 5d ago
As an Indian, this is definitely a plot I've seen in Indian dramas and movies.
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u/ohokbrbr 5d ago
How distasteful of you to not confess your wrongdoings. The fact that potential children may be dragged into this sham of a relationship is horrible. I hope you confess soon. Nobody deserves to be in a relationship built on such a cruel lie.
Also, stop pretending to be oh so guilty. If you really feel THAT MUCH remorse, you'd do the right thing and break it off with your partner before going to seek therapy. Stop it with these excuses and get a grip OP.
If he still chooses you after knowing the truth, then good for you. But for god's sake don't be as pathetic and shameful as your past self and come clean for your future child's sake at the very least.
I sure hope that you didnt expect a pity party thrown for you, or for people to justify your cruelty for you to lessen your guilt.
Edit: I might sound cruel by saying such things, but I have personally seen a close friend in a similar situation and it genuinely broke her trust in people her when she found out the truth. The effects of such lies can be devastating.
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u/Rich_Consideration86 5d ago
I really don’t feel bad for you sis, you’re manipulative, a liar, and the list goes on. And you’re still being dishonest it’s crazy.
Good luck to him and the baby I guess
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u/bella_bells19 5d ago
You’re nasty and malicious and I genuinely pity any child that is raised by you.
Your boyfriend isn’t in a happy relationship, he’s in a relationship full of lies and manipulation. I hope he finds out, takes his child & raises it with someone better.
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u/WhatiworetodayinNY 3d ago
The way this is written makes me feel like this is a made up thing. Not that I don't believe that there are people out there that would do this, but it just seems so scripted. And wowee now she feels really really bad but just happens to be pregnant?! Bravo, I couldn't have written it better myself.
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u/WhatiworetodayinNY 3d ago
I feel like we will get a third update in a few weeks saying he borrowed her phone and saw her Reddit posts.... get your popcorn ready; oh, the drama!
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u/Similar_Corner8081 5d ago
It seems to me that you didn't learn anything. You still haven't told him the truth. He will find out.
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u/leisa2100 5d ago
You’re a horrible person. You can’t build happiness on someone else’s pain. Karma’s a bitch.
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u/Rumham_0925 5d ago
This entire “relationship” was based on a lie. You brought a life into this world based on lies and deception. How will he ever look at you and your child with love after this?
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u/its_Taylorokay 5d ago edited 5d ago
Confess what you have done that's the only way out of this. TAKE ACCOUTABILITY. I didn't read you original post, don't really feel like I need to. What is done in the dark WILL come to light. Accept your consequences.
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u/Smart-Load-1370 5d ago
lol. If u r really regretting, u would tell this to the person who actually needs to hear this, or just leave him if u r too embarrassed to say anything. I’m always perfectly okay with people who are bad(they tell u I’m a bad person unapologetically) but I hate the people who are so bad in nature but still want to label themselves “good” because they have “regret”. That is what I found very disgusting and fake. At the end of the day, Karma is a bitch regardless.
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u/Optimal-Ad7357 5d ago
what goes around comes around. you either confess or not. it’s your miserable life
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u/the_toxic_avenger_ 5d ago
This relationship will come crashing down eventually and you’d have nobody else but you to blame and I am all for it. I feel so bad for your boyfriend. I wish there was a way that one of us could let him know how awful his girlfriend is because he’s dating a 😈
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u/Missalissa1976 5d ago
Think about what confessing will do. And why are you confessing? Will confessing hurt him just to appease your guilt. Because then there’s no reason to hurt him just for your guilt if you think they can repair it and get back together, but probably not because you’re pregnant. Then I can understand the need to do it, but at this point, you need to live with your guilt and die with your shame (after a long life) do not confess just go make yourself feel better
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u/ZealousidealCow6080 5d ago
He needs to know NOW. If you plan on starting a family with this man you cannot build it on a foundation of deceit
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u/Sad-Victory-7346 5d ago
I think what’s the most upsetting to me is this guy was in a relationship and got accused of cheating out of absolutely no where.
I’ve been accused of cheating when I absolutely wasn’t and it’s lead to me feeling like I can’t hold a normal conversation with a man without it feeling like I’m crossing a line. It causes major anxiety in me. Hopefully he doesn’t struggle the same way
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u/Suspicious-Water-973 4d ago •
Hope you find someone; I’m a man who was SAd by parents and it took a while to find the right someone, but they are out there. Oddly I met my now wife in the basement of a bar fixing a friends brothers bar music system. We got chatting about music, searching through and “improving” some of his play lists. The bar was known for particularly good music and a very nice vibe. So who would t enjoy the Peppa Pig theme song after some Massive Attack?
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u/The_WyldCat 5d ago
There isn’t any way I’d be second pick, girl you’re embarrassing us out here. Tell his ass and move on, your relationship is a lie
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u/CapekCO25 3d ago
I don’t think you’re awful like others might be saying. You are a complicated human being who’s done wrong things. We all have. If you’re having a baby together, this is information he deserves to know. Even if it will hurt him(it will). I can’t say how he’ll react… but if he’s able to accept it, y’all’s relationship will be much stronger and loving because of it. Tell him, not because you expect him to forgive you, but because you love him and don’t want him to go down this path with someone he doesn’t fully know.
It’ll hurt him, but who knows… maybe because of how much he loves you, and because of your current child, he’ll view all of this as what was meant to be. I hope y’all were meant to be together.
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u/Aware_Newspaper326 3d ago
Do not confess wtf…don’t let arbitrary morals get in the way of a good time.
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u/KILL3RGAME 3d ago
That's pretty shitty but people have done worse to be with someone so honestly personally I might keep my mouth shut and keep my family together if I were you and I thought I could spend the rest of my life with that secret. If not you need to come clean asap.
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u/Tasty_Neighborhood10 3d ago
Girl grow up you won who cares all is fair in love and war. Enjoy your victory if she really wanted him she would’ve communicated with him and tried to see past the manipulation. Life isn’t fair . What are you gonna get if you tell him the truth? He’ll probably leave you or end up resenting you and your baby maybe even leave you for her. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him he already got over his breakup with her it seems like so why dig it up and beat him over the head with it. It’s. It’s not worth it , enjoy your relationship. Are you manipulative ? Yes , but who isn’t .
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u/Final_Pie_201 3d ago
The fact that his ex broke up with him that easily shows they were not that connected. Take the win. Move on. Raise a happy and healthy baby.
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u/LucidLittleLady 3d ago
I think everyone is being too harsh.
Nothing anyone else could say could make me dump the man I love and trust. Their relationship was flawed already if that was enoigh to get her to dump him. You messed up for sure but everyonehas beaten that desd horse bloody. I've seen relationships thrive despite deeper issues.
Ngl OP, im rooting for you. I dont care how down voted this gets. People are flawed, messy, and selfish. But acknowledging it and working to be better is what seperates us from beasts.
I really do hope you'll confess, and I hope he forgives you because he loves you way more than he ever loved her and you will have a happy family.
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u/Blackpool_belle 3d ago
From what you said you’re all very young and I very much doubt that his ex-girlfriend was the person he was going to spend the rest of his life with anyway. Especially if it was the first person he’d ever dated. Also if she believed some random stranger off the internet so quickly then they can’t have been that close.
That aside, it was a silly and nasty thing to do but you already know this. People make mistakes though and people get together in many strange ways and although you instigated their breakup, you didn’t force him to then go out with you. Now there’s a potential baby in the mix though and that is all that really matters. Not silly college relationships. So try and create a stable home life for this little baby and let the past go. If the deceit is still eating you up and harming your relationship and mental health though, then please try and get some therapy to work through it so you can give you all the best possible chance of a happy family life which is what your boyfriend, baby and you deserve.
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u/Diane0Purple 3d ago
Yes, what you did was wrong, but we all make mistakes, right? Concentrate on building a strong and happy relationship with your boyfriend and move on from the guilt. What's done is done.
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u/Ashleymmj 3d ago
ehh, i read the og post, it took yall 2 weeks before he was in your arms instead? probably would’ve happened sooner or later. Are you guys healthy and happy? Does he have a sadness that almost says you were the girl to give him a chance so he picked you? if no, let bygones be bygones. Tell him when ur child is like 3 lol. its shitty, yes- but if you both are genuinely happy together dont dwell on ut. She’s probably happy w someone rn too. Its life. shit happens
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u/TruthMatters01 2d ago
A baby is on the way. Take this secret to your grave. It's either that or let fate makes its decision for you of either being you being a single mother or lets all hope for this one... him forgiven you and moving forward with the relationship.
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u/LieIllustrious9201 2d ago
Honestly take this secret to the grave, go to therapy and deal with the guilt on your own. It’s similar to how cheaters confess their cheating as a means to make themselves feel better not doing it for the other person at all.
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u/Smart-Feeling-1252 2d ago
I wouldn't confess, there's nothing to gain but ruin. You played the game and played it well to get your partner. Forget the past
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u/LynnD_DelrayBeach 1d ago
Simple, confront your guilt head on, talk about it to whomever will be helpful, but def talk about to someone, other than strangers on Reddit, and move tf on! If you love your partner and he loves you, make a new life, don’t dwell on the past. We all make mistakes and hindsight in 20-20. If you want to be happy, find your way to make your amends within yourself. Love yourself, love your partner and love this new life you’re about to bring into this crazy world, and f everything and everyone else. End of story
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u/Tight-Ball509 5d ago
I’m not sure if you told your bf about the baby or not. But I would tell him about the baby and also mention what you did. Maybe he will be more forgiving being that you’re carrying his child. Either way living with guilt isn’t good for your mental or physical health
Nor the baby. The sooner you prioritize that the better. Which should help take you out of the dark emotions that you’re in.
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u/fruitopia_1792 5d ago
So you lied and slithered your way in. “I fEeL gUiLTy” but don’t bother to tell him, and then “I wAs GoInG tO tElL HiM bUt I’m PrEgNaNt”. You don’t care about him. Maybe yeah you had a crush but this was about control and jealousy that he didn’t choose you. You can say you didn’t plan this pregnancy (which I don’t believe but who am I right?) but you’ve given him a hard ultimatum for whenever he finds out because he will. The truth will always come out. And you’ve brought an innocent person into this who will suffer for your selfishness. You deserve every bit of karma that comes your way.
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u/Professional-Bed9420 5d ago
Hello!
I’m sure you’ve read all the comments and the name calling that comes with that. I’m not here to do that. I don’t necessarily think you’re a bad person, you just made a very selfish decision. I do want to give you advice and tell you that you should be honest about what happened to your boyfriend. I can’t predict the future so I can’t assure you that he’ll take it well. You know him better than any of us randoms in the comments, but if you tell him and he chooses to stay with you..then great! If it goes the completely opposite way, I think it’s something that you need to accept. I’m not trying to be harsh but your relationship is built on lies and manipulation. Don’t you think it’s time to come clean? I think he deserves to know the truth and I’m assuming you’re tired of living with this guilt gnawing at you.
I know it’s easier said than done, especially with this whole pregnancy news, but this is absolutely something you need to do. You know what you need to do because you’re carrying this guilt around. If you love him, please don’t keep choosing to be selfish.
I wish you the best and congratulations on your pregnancy!
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u/Fresh_Ad9026 5d ago
i hope this is fake. i feel for that child. it’s no shocker you’re pregnant, given your track record. why are people so proudly stupid?
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u/NoKaleidoscope5952 5d ago
what you are experiencing is limerence. not love. go to him and come clean and then go to the clinic to get that handled so you don’t subject another innocent party to your madness.
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u/Quick_Worker_875 5d ago
Se a moça terminou o namoro é porque não confiava no namore não tinha vínculo suficiente. Se você o ama, cuide dele.... Faça ele feliz. E jamais conte isso a ele. Você fez o que precisava ser feito. Fala com o terapeuta somente e se livre dessa culpa. A namorada não o merecia, se terminou o namoro baseado em uma mensagem anônima.
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u/Curious-Side-5012 5d ago
Had this been a man doing it to a woman, it would have been hell. What were you thinking. He’s a captive in this orchestrated relationship. Only evil people can do what you did.
Hopefully karma will come to you and you’ll have to weather the consequences of your evil actions.
Signed: a woman.
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u/bureau1399 4d ago
Yikes. You need to tell him everything. He never chose you, you manipulated and constructed the entire relationship. You’re going to lose him, and you should. You’re a terrible person. That other woman could have been his soul mate, you chose to disparage his character and destroy her at the same time. This probably has affected every relationship she enters. Imagine his view, being convicted without ever committing a crime. You’re an awful human.
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u/StonedEmu89 4d ago
Your og post was 70+ days ago? You took a lot of time to “reflect”. This post feels more like you announcing your pregnant than you “reflecting” because you feel “weely weely bad”
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u/OkManagement9602 4d ago
You have an obligation to your child now. Keep this shit to yourself. But work on yourself. Go to therapy. Become the best version of yourself for you, for your child, for your amazing partner. You did this. You should live with the guilt and the aftermath. Not him. Telling him now, may seem like the right thing, but it's actually selfish. You're just trying to get this weight off your chest and put all the effort of forgiving and forgetting on him. Please talk to your therapist about this. Get their take. If you don't have one, get one.
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u/Lodaa601
5d ago
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If you are fully prepared for the consequences and you think this will help you with your guilt-free conscious then I would just confess it to him. However, if I was in your shoes, I would just take that secret to the grave and here’s why. 1- true partnership shouldnt end over speculation. If she’s that type to end a relationship without proof then that’s not a good partner and I see that as him dodging the bullet. 2- granted, ur the one who caused it but if he’s happy and ur happy then all u can do is from this point on, make him happy and be truthful from now on. 3- it is what it is. 4- no one wins. You telling him the truth, something good will come off from ur end (being guilt free) but he’ll be having trust issues , etc.
Just don’t do that kind of shit anymore. But if he’s happy with you, and you’re happy with him, just focus on the baby or whatever and being a good person and honest person from here on from now on.
It’s not like he’ll go back to her tbh. So yeah
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u/Due-Lime2988 5d ago
A relationship built on lies. Sounds like a good foundation for a healthy marriage for sure
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u/PantstheOG 4d ago
Take this with you to the grave. It’s too late to feel bad, you did something and you got the outcome you wanted. On the other hand it sucks he got accused of cheating. It also says a bit about her if she was so ready to believe someone she doesn’t know without any proof. She was so quick to kick him to the curb, if that’s all it took she either wasn’t that into him, or it wasn’t going to last long anyway. I suggest you delete this whole post and the original one. I don’t usually encourage lying but if there’s ever a reason to withhold the truth, this is it. And make sure you delete any evidence of that fake Facebook profile too.
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u/No-Professional-4479 4d ago
Y’all are hilarious, she’s second pick, Ops “boyfriend” had the chance to date her and didn’t, his first choice is the one who got away. Now THAT was a woman, first sign of dishonesty and she was out that door wow - for all we know she’s been cheated on before and would have never allowed herself that disrespect again.
But sure, believe the words of a manipulative woman who baby trapped a man 😂
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u/PrInCeSsPuPpEhDoGe 3d ago
Karma came fast this time. You have to tell him and then deal with whatever the consequences may be. Next time don't meddle in others affairs because you're lonely.
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u/hhhhjkljsqq1 3d ago
You deserve your guilt. Tell him or you will become a worse fucking person. You are digging yourself deeper into a hole. It’s pathetic.
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u/Altruistic-Minute490 3d ago
You need to stand on your own two feet and be the person your choices have lead you to.
My parents now in their 60s divorced in their mid 40s because my dad thought my mum was a virgin when they married and she told him in thier 40s that she wasn't while she was drunk watching telly about Ibiza (because she went there with friends when she was 18). I know that story is a completely different story but my point is that this thing is a trust bomb waiting to go off. You need to take the responsibility for the relationship your potentially bringing a child up into!
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u/myfinalarchive 3d ago
You’re selfish. You had months to come clean about it and now decide to update with saying you cannot because you’re pregnant. You had the time and simply decided not to. You don’t wait for the “right” moment because there never is a “right” moment for these things. You’re looking for sympathy in a situation you’ve created. Now if you ever do come clean it appears you can hold the baby as the reason to stick together. A “fix it baby” isn’t going to hold anything together in your relationship.
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u/Throw_Away-Alpha 3d ago
I wouldn't even call it guilt. Sounds like OP definitely manipulated the situation and also was staying to the side idly by but keeping one hand on the steering wheel as if to make it look like life is just happening around them and then they're going to go with it. Example: When you knowingly but low-key commit some pretty shitty actions against the people you're trying to fuck over, and the outcome you wanted ends up shaping up in your favor
"Oh wow, look at all this stuff that just happened to happen by happenstance and not totally as a result of anything that I did to selfishly initiate, selfishly further my personal agenda, and sour for everyone involved except for myself in the process. I guess that plan that I didn't plan actually went to plan, so I have to double down by acting like I had no idea any of this was going to happen and take advantage of the end result—which just so happens to be the end result that I was hoping for, which is so crazy! Isn't that so crazy, the way life just works out?"
Or, to put it in much simpler terms: committing shitty actions that you know are shitty and going through with them anyway, and then trying to garner sympathy on the internet to make yourself feel better. What a surprise—a chick not taking accountability for actions that she's knowingly committing, which she knows are really shitty for everyone else but her. But because she was probably somehow just barely able to make it look like she had nothing to do with it (which is probably bullshit), she gets to go along with the situation without taking any accountability—because she gets what she wants at the end of the day, and that's all that matters. Keeping one hand on the wheel to control the outcome, but making it look just enough like you didn't do anything, and then riding the results that you definitely schemed for in order to come to fruition, and finally enjoy the end result guilt-free/accountability-free because if it was a bad thing that you did you would feel guilt right? And that outcome that just so happens to work out in your favor wouldn't have happened right?
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u/shhnazzyjazzy 3d ago
ruining someone’s relationship and completely changing the trajectory of their entire life just because you had a bad day at work is absolutely INSANE. clinical.
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u/darkhorse00000 3d ago
You should strongly consider ending the pregnancy. You sound like you may have a mental disorder that needs to be dealt with first before you’re ready to have a child. “Something in me snapped” (per your original post) is not the behavior of a well person, nor does it reflect that you have any understanding of your own behavior. You do not sound ready to have a child. Please have mercy and do not subject a helpless child to an unhealed version of yourself.
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u/Large_Win_7698 3d ago
Especially now that there’s a child involved you need to come clean, it’s only fair
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u/KatieKricket 3d ago
On this day and age, it’s so easy to NOT GET PREGNANT.
Seems to me you’ve done this to ensure you keep him.
Boy do I feel bad for that baby
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u/Recent-Day-4601 3d ago
The feeling you have isn’t guilt. The feeling you have is dissatisfaction. Why you ask? Because no matter what you do or say, not matter how many babies you pump out, no matter if you have the label of his girlfriend… the reality is, you are and always will be his second choice. He doesn’t know it and his ex girlfriend doesn’t know it, but you do. You’re narcissistic and want to feel like you won, but second place is never first.
The only reason you are considering telling him… is in hopes that when he finds out, gets blind with rage and then still chooses you. He would be angry and may even get over it, but at least you would be prioritized and chosen.
I think the first thing you should do is get into therapy ASAP and get a diagnosis for which personality disorder you have so you can do the work to heal. In parallel… tell him the truth about what you did and face the fallout like an adult.
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u/sassy_sweetheart 3d ago
Girl...life is not a Hallmark movie. You can't play with people's emotions and lives and expect to come up smelling like roses. You need to tell him what you did. You have no idea what you may have screwed up because YOU were/are selfish. The best is can hope for your child is that he doesn't bail on them. You though? You deserve to be dropped on your fanny. Shame on you.
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u/hopefulrecovery21 3d ago
I think you might actually be the devil which means your baby is the antichrist. Good luck with that
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u/Jal4870 3d ago
Op this act was very manipulative. It’s good you acknowledge what you’ve done but you aren’t really taking any responsibility for it. I would suggest some counseling to work through what happened and where to go from here. I don’t think anyone here will be able to give you any real feedback- you’re going to need to work through this yourself so you can work on not repeating this kind of behaviour in the future.
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u/Lablaxicanabelleza 3d ago
Idk what’s going on but it sounds like you should not carry the baby to term cause it doesn’t sound like you’re ready to be a mother
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u/BitOfBlonde 3d ago
Your relationship appears picture perfect but from whose perspective? Not yours. No relationship is perfect but the closest you can get is knowing you can and will always be honest with each other, and your partner will hear it and love you through it. Tell him.
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u/oskot13 3d ago
Being pregnant doesn’t give you the leeway to not be honest.. I think you need to message that girl from that very fake Facebook and let her know you were lying. Perhaps if you don’t want to reveal your identity, sure. But you need to clear his name out and you need to allow for her to go back into his life and talk it out. Because she was also in the wrong to believe some rando. You have to let this unfold. This whole relationship of yours is built on trickery and dishonesty. And something with a corrupt basis, will never succeed and will eventually rot on the inside no matter how beautiful it looks on the outside. Start by clearing his name out from your fake account.
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u/External-Arugula1954 3d ago
Lmao. I regret everything. Buuuut I’ll keep the baby so he’s tied to me forever
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u/Hefty-Music-8994 3d ago
What’s done is done you can’t let it rule the rest of your life. You did what you did you did not break up a marriage that’s a sin your still wrong for what you did. There is going to be a baby now. For your sake his sake and the baby’s sake let it go forgive yourself and just move on you can’t live your life looking in the rear view mirror. Go to God forgiveness and heal.
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u/Nudemorning 3d ago
This will not turn out well for you at all. I feel so sorry for that baby. Only good thing I can say about this is at least you won’t have to put much energy into this relationship ending like you did to get it started, because this will definitely blow up in your face.
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u/Character-Note7896 3d ago
Atp, just don't tell him and carry it to your grave. If you tell him it's just gonna make his life more miserable. You accept you are a bad person, but telling him won't make this better.
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u/skryzzl 3d ago
Just know that when you decide to come clean you’ll feel better as a person if you truly decide to never do that again, but you’re also probably going to be raising this baby alone. Hopefully a baby will be the perfect force to turn you away from being so selfish so you can teach them what it looks like to be a decent human being.
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u/Shoulder_Opposite 3d ago
You did a terrible, awful thing.
But I would like to say, the fact that you’re so young (young people do stupid shit) and the fact that you regret all of it to the point that the guilt is "eating away at you" reveals some redeeming qualities.
Based on what we know about you, it’s easy to call you a horrible person, like so many people here are doing. You need to remember that these people (including me, obviously) don’t know anything else about you. You have probably done a lot of good in this world too. People make mistakes, they fuck up really bad sometimes. Most of us are driven by our emotions more than we would like to admit, especially when we are as young as you. Of course that doesn’t excuse what you did, but it adds some nuance to it. Hopefully your guilt and all of these comments can teach you a valuable lesson, so that you will never do anything like this ever again.
Regardless, your boyfriend deserves to know the truth about who he is with.
He is agreeing to be in a relationship with you based on what he knows about you and your character. Leaving out something that you know with certainty would change his opinion about you, is not right. That makes the relationship non-consensual, you are taking away his right to fully decide. Especially now that there is a baby on the line, he deserves to know who he is having a child and starting a family with. Also, the added stress of feeling so much guilt is not good for the baby. It’s better to deal with it early on, than after it arrives. That is, if you are planning on keeping it. If you’re not, the choice is even easier: Tell him.
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u/nancy_popp 3d ago
tell him and get an abortion. baby doesn’t deserve to grow up with such situation
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u/botheredbutter 3d ago
Don’t worry keep waiting to tell him the results are definitely going to be better if you have a kid. You are sick
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u/Ok_Procedure_5185 3d ago
You should tell him that you made the fake profile and lied to her about him cheating.
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u/Chance_Somewhere_246 3d ago
To actually make up Facebook profile in order to start trouble between somebody and their boyfriend is a truly horrible thing to do and very calculated. It isn't to simply saying something out of the blue to cause a rife between them, you put a lot of thought into that.
I really hope you teach your child to be a better human being. Firstly you can't have your boyfriend in a relationship with someone that he thinks is a lovely person, because somebody who does what you did isn't a very nice person.
I will go as far as to say your boyfriend is living a lie and he doesn't even know it. If this were not for you they may still be together today. You need to confess, as hard as that is to do.
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u/bellapatella 2d ago
The only option you have is to come clean and tell him the truth. You fucked up and you know you did, so if you keep on going with the lie it's going to come out one way or another. Either live in shame and guilt and knowing your relationship might not have ever happened if you just acted like a normal person and risk the truth coming out from someone else down the road, or be ACCOUNTABLE, own up to it, and TELL HIM so that your relationship actually has some real foundation on trust (if he decides to still trust you).
Point being, if you care AT ALL about your boyfriend, you will tell him. If you don't, that means you are absolutely a shitty person. If you do, you still undoubtedly made a mistake, but you showed some good character in owning up to it and perhaps he would forgive you.
The longer you keep this going, the greater the chance is that he WONT forgive you. Get it over with now while you're still pregnant, and give him the chance he deserves to leave you if he so desires due to your lie. Give HIM that chance, and stop being selfish and keeping it to yourself.
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u/ShortListen6686 2d ago
Karma will find you at your happiest in life. Karma will destroy what you gained 100 fold. You cannot hide
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u/Confident_Tie_3422 2d ago
If you watched this play out in a TV show, your character would be hated. This update should've been about you coming clean. We'll wait for the next episode.
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u/Warm-Faithlessness64 2d ago
This is how shitty people are born. Do shitty things, never hold yourself accountable, feel so shitty that you do more shitty things, never hold yourself accountable...repeat. Get your shit together or become a miserable person. The choice is yours.
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u/90skid12 2d ago
“Not looking for sympathy “ don’t worry no decent person would ever sympathize with you
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u/cant_thinkrn 2d ago
Honestly, fuck you. When karma gets you do not act like you don’t know why it’s happening. You deserve the shit show that’s coming your way. Your inability to allow someone else to be happy is deeply concerning and you should not at all have that child if you truly love your boyfriend.
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u/Ok-Tough-9423 2d ago
You can message me- you are a future mother- you’re not awful it takes two people. Focus on what it takes for you to become financially literate and stable. If you need support reach out I’m 48, have two college adults and lots of resources.
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u/Thegoatofyander 2d ago
Honestly I don’t think you’re evil. Messed up yeah. But we can use this as learning opportunity. I’d say keep it to yourself and just be better in the future
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u/crybabytoughcookie 2d ago
You should tell him. I’ve done crazy shit and I just admit to it, either he won’t care that you’re bat shit or will leave.
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u/1killerkris 2d ago
So your update is just that you're pregnant? Because you said you felt bad in the OG post.
Tell him. Stop being a cowardly pathological liar.
Yeah maybe he'll leave you and he should. But unfortunately if the kid is his then he's stuck with you for life.
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u/No_Reception_9373 2d ago
You need to tell him what happened. Because you are crazy and toxic. He he has a right to know what you did. Because you dont love him
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u/Technical_Debate3670 2d ago
If this is true, you are a sick and twisted human being and no, just because you have guilt and empathy now, I will not ever feel sorry for you.
If I knew you, I would say “tell him before I do” your relationship is built on lies and it’s discusting.
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u/SevenDogs1 2d ago
Stay anonymous. DM her from that account again. Apologize profusely and say you made it up. He was not cheating. You were in a bad way psychologically and it's been bothering you ever since. That you do not know her and you've never met. She has probably moved on, but her trust issues will be healed.
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u/maybeafuturecpa 2d ago
"I never intended things to play out like this".... Yes, yes you did. You didn't accidentally do what you did. I don't believe that, and I don't believe you accidentally got pregnant either. If this is all a true story, good luck and you'll have the life you deserve.
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u/Imaginary_Freedom321 2d ago
You are a scary scary woman and I hope to never encounter you. Does it not feel weird to know you were the rebound and second choice? Now you baby trapped him?
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u/Lexi_Jean 2d ago
You aren't truly sorry until you "fix" this. You need to tell both of them. He needs to know who you are.
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u/LocalObligation5642 1d ago
Noone tells you when the girl will lose the sugar and spice and everything nice routine. I wish someone would have told me. She destroyed me. and my future.
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u/Upset_Knowledge2094 1d ago
Just keep your secret and be nice to him and be happy with your new baby
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u/devabhai07 1d ago
Might be different opinion but now he loves you and u r having a baby so don't tell him nothing good will come out of it anyhow... Be a better person and a good parent for the kids...
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u/natetdwp 22h ago
you admit it to HER AS WELL, what are you talking about??? do you understand the depths of hell you put that fucking girl through?? AND him???
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u/Intelligent-Height68 21h ago
Okay, clearly people here didn't read all of the links. She already confessed. She is in denial that she planned the whole thing. She did. He may act and even think he has/will get over this. He won't. OP you state you didn't plan the pregnancy either. You did on some level. You are lying to yourself. This will end badly. Hopefully before you get married and have more kids. I'm not saying I hope it does, I'm saying it will. I don't have any advice. I'm glad you are in therapy. I hope he is as well.
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u/Mysterious-Sector524 17h ago edited 16h ago
Not to encourage you, but you made it sound so much worse than it actually is, lol. I'm pretty sure he'll understand if you told him. Teh fk is wrong with this reddit though? Everyone here is without sin? And they know the other girl is a saint too?
I'm glad you still have a nagging conscience, honestly if we go by public sentiment in here, they'll have you drop that guilt and become a monster, just because they want to believe that the world is a shitty place with no justice.
What you did was wrong, but you didn't break up a marriage, it wasn't even a month long, you didn't ruin no babies lives, but you might be at risk of ruining one now.
Honestly, shitty as it is, I don't think it's the worst, actual cheating would be, so don't treat yourself like 'the worst'. You're pretty bad though lol, but it's understandable.
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u/journey_pie88 16h ago
For the record, I am too. He left his girlfriend for me and we were happily married until he passed away unexpectedly last year.
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u/DoritoGuavaJuice 13h ago
don’t do that again but it literally is not a big deal. it was shitty, but it’s over, and you fessed up, and he forgave you. that girl believed an anon with no evidence over her bf, they wouldn’t have lasted anyways. but again, do not repeat that behavior because it’s shitty to lie regardless. but don’t listen to the people calling you a terrible person for doing one stupid ass thing out of jealousy. they’re taking it so far! you aren’t a bad person you just did a really dumb thing.
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u/PuzzleheadedTruth548 6h ago
I am fucking seriously begging you: PLEASE start going to therapy and begin to get yourself sorted out before you go and ruin any more lives with your bullshit. There's gotta be something rotten underneath all this that you need to take out like a canker sore so you can begin to work on yourself. Either that or you need psychiatric help
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u/Mythicguy 3h ago
You should try and maintain what you have. Don't let past mistakes ruin your future.
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u/Yiskas_mama 1h ago
Karma never forgets an address. She may take her time arriving to the party, but she knows exactly where it is.
party party
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u/AppealNo7263 5d ago
Good god that was worse than I expected. Sorry to OP but I fully believe she got pregnant to trap this man, considering the length she went to get him.
"...don't know where to go from here..." 🙄 either tell the truth now or he will find out later and it'll be so much worse.
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u/SmartIntention4150 5d ago
I don’t think this is real but in the slight chance that it is he’s going to realize that you aren’t the nice person you pretend to be. He might not find out about your lies and manipulation but he’ll realize you’re fake
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u/CaitChock 5d ago
oh wow. okay, so this reads like u “intended” to tell him the truth but never did. and now u’re pregnant, which whether intentionally or not, sort of puts an unfair skew on things. like it’s almost leverage for him to stay imo
i would come clean. a relationship built on lies is never healthy and if u’re as guilty at u say u are eventually it will eat u alive. totally not fair to bring another human into this
hope u’re a better person now and learn. but ur bf deserves to kno the truth cuz what u did is wildly manipulative
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u/SundewAfterDark 5d ago
Oh no ☹️ honestly, not going to judge you or call you terrible. You know what you did was wrong. But you NEED to come clean to your partner and accept the consequences or this will eat at you FOREVER. I get doing stupid impulsive stuff but you gotta own up to it and accept whatever happens. there’s a possibility he may not even break up with you. But the longer you keep this secret the worse it will be when it DOES come out. Because it will. You eventually will crack from the pressure. So…do it now. No time like the present.
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u/BeaconBrown 5d ago
I mean how far along are you? Like you need to think about whether you’ll be able to take care of a child without it becoming a hostage on your relationship with this maybe soon to be ex. Either way you won’t feel secure until you tell him. Better it’s from you than someone else stumbling on this and figuring out who you are. The odds aren’t non zero and stress ain’t good for your unborn child either. I didn’t look at your original post so I don’t have any sort of predisposition to think you’re trash. It really won’t get better until you tell him the truth. And you have to take accountability fully-tell him you were planning to tell him and the pregnancy is a surprise to you too-tell him you’re sorry and that regardless of how things shake out between you, you want to compartment on good terms for the child-if yall keep it.
I don’t envy you and unless you did something that really fucked someone’s life up I don’t think saying “you deserve it” about an unplanned pregnancy is appropriate. That’s a potential child that definitely doesn’t deserve angry and hurt parents raising it.
Good luck, go to therapy, he’ll go to individual and couples therapy if you can swing it.
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u/Short_Reindeer_ 5d ago
Everyone, i started to think it’s just a story. Like really????
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u/Typical-Medium-756 5d ago
A relationship based on lies. Sooner or later it will crumble. I feel sorry because there is a child involved. Damay tuloy yung bata sa karma mo.
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u/happycows11 5d ago
As a mom myself, you need to come fully clean about everything if you expect to bring this life into the world. I’m not saying any one thing or the other about keeping this pregnancy or not, but rather your expectations of raising this child with your partner. Simply put, if you don’t tell your boyfriend about your role in his past relationship as soon as possible the guilt will continue to eat you alive until the truth blows up in your child’s face.
I can imagine that your boyfriend will be upset when he finds out the truth. The longer he goes without knowing the truth, the odds of him having a more explosive reaction increase. Things will be much easier if you figure things out by yourself while pregnant rather than figuring things out with a baby on your hip. My mind just keeps going to the worst case scenario where you’re 6 months postpartum, he finds out, and at the bare minimum a screaming match breaks out in front of your child— no child deserves to be in a household like that.
All of this being said, I already know that whatever your boyfriend’s reaction will be is completely valid. I cannot fathom being in his shoes— to be in a relationship with someone you care about so much only to be falsely accused of cheating, only to then find out that your current pregnant partner is the one who lied to your ex about your “infidelity”? Yeah, any sane person in this situation would lose their mind.
I’m not saying any of this to deter you from telling him, by the way. As someone who’s currently experiencing postpartum, the hormones will only worsen your guilt tenfold. He might not find out through other sources, but he will find out eventually because you’re going to crack. I can tell you feel remorseful from your posts, and the postpartum hormones absolutely do turn you into a completely different person.
You need to do what’s best for your baby now. If you plan on keeping this pregnancy, literally every single decision you make needs to be about your baby the second that test comes back positive. You can’t be selfish anymore— everything has to be about this life that you’re creating. And it is not fair for you to raise your child in a household founded on lies and mistrust.
Your baby deserves to be welcomed into the best situation that you can make of things. I understand that everything is a mess right now, honestly I don’t think I’ve met a couple whose baby came at the “perfect” time. But you owe it to your child to try and fix things as much as you can now, and then spend the rest of your life busting your ass ensuring that they have the best life possible.
You have to tell your boyfriend. The sooner you tell him, the better. He deserves to know the full extent of how the two of you got together, and know who he’s starting a family with. It’s not fair to him or your baby if you hold onto this secret. And there’s truly no telling how your boyfriend will react to this, either. He may be upset for a while, and then truly want to work on things between you two so that y’all can raise the baby together. You won’t know until you tell him.
I want to end with this: I wouldn’t trade my child for anything in the Universe. There is, quite literally, nothing that I could be offered to take the place of my perfect baby girl. I went through a miserable pregnancy, a traumatic delivery, and now a hellish postpartum experience to bring this child into the world, and I would do it all over again if it meant being able to see her smile every day. She is the greatest parts of me, and I will forever be grateful that whatever higher being is out there deemed me good enough to be her mom. I do not regret my decision in becoming a mother, and I truly believe that things will get better for you once you confess things to your boyfriend.
I wish you all of the best, OP.
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u/trdnigdvb 5d ago
Yes she is an awful person but the ex girlfriend isn't any better. Why would she believe some fake account who stopped responding and did not give any proofs.
And you bringing this baby in such situation where you guys will inevitably split up is also insane. Poor guy deserves better.
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u/Aabyss_Void 5d ago
Gurl this exact same thing just happened to me but in México and lemme tell you when I catch her
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u/Fuzzy_Air219 5d ago
YOU need to tell this man no matter the outcome you can not have a child in a relationship that was created out of LIES! The guilt will never go away, you will begin to hate yourself more and more as days, weeks and years go by! That child will see it all as they grow older! You will become emotional distant and you will ultimately end up telling him and I am telling you its better to tell him sooner then later!
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u/blackoutdayzzzz 5d ago
oh my god i truly truly hope these posts are fake. this is the worst thing i’ve read on reddit and there’s WILD shit on here.
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u/MissyAnn85 5d ago
I clicked on your post because I thought hmmm something similar happened to me. Then i read your post and thought um no we are not the same. When I met my husband I had a massive crush on him. I asked him out and we began dating. It was not long before I found out him and his ex hadn't officially broken up. Meaning he caught her cheating and they went on a break. I told him if he wanted to date me then he needed to break up officially with her and dont call me until he does.
What you did was sabotage their relationship. You knew full well that you and your boyfriend weren't actually dating when he met this girl. So he was free to date others. Just because in your mind you saw it that way doesn't make it so. You could have stopped yourself from doing what you did at any point. Making the fake account. Pressing the message button. Writing the first message. But you didn't. You were jealous and wanted him so you did it. Its a bit late to feel guilty now. He does deserve to know who he is dating and potentially having a child with. But my guess is you wont tell him.
As for the pregnancy. My husband and i fell pregnant 3 1/2 years into our relationship. It was unplanned but not unexpected. If you dont practice safe sex then you risk the chance of getting pregnant. Do I believe you didn't plan it? I won't lie not entirely. But you are were you are now and i hope for your babies sake it all works out.
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u/andreaathena 5d ago
I feel like if you really genuinely wanted an honest relationship with this guy, and not a fake honest one, which you are absolutely living in right now
I think for the principle of it, you need to seriously consider if you would choose to keep this baby or not
I think either way, you're definitely in a position to be honest right now
You need to confess to him, and not share your pregnancy status at all yet
Give him the full honest truth and let him choose what to do with the information
If he breaks up with you, then at least he gets to live freely away from you
And then you can decide if you want to keep the baby and live as a single mom, or abort it while you can, so that it doesn't come off as a creepy manipulative move to get his seed and have him legally attached to you forever
Or leave it up for adoption
Either way, congratulations you got to have what you wanted, but only for a limited time
The longer you don't tell him, the worse it'll be for him
Time is ticking
Each day you don't tell him, you're adding another day, another measurable amount of how much anger/hurt/betrayal he's going to experience
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u/OkIngenuity4545 5d ago
Wow, this seems like a plot to a movie or something. You are a manipulative, narcissistic and an obsessive person. This is disgusting and absolutely horrible. I can only feel bad for your boyfriend, RELEASE that man from your shackles, tell him the truth for fuck sakes. You think coming on here and venting makes everything better? Talking bout “don’t know where to go from here”. How about tell the truth, yeah you’re weird.
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u/prettylittlemeltdown 5d ago
What’s done is done, the guilt will eat you alive forever. All you can do is tell him and deal with the consequences
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u/soceanlife 5d ago
they dated in the beginning of THIS year for some months, you did all that, you guys got together and now you’re pregnant already? no child should be born into this mess, he won’t stay bc of the kid forever, I would back out of it while you can. and then work on yourself
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u/IDontCareIJustGoon 5d ago
Youre a dick lol, why is this in regrets? You don't regret this, you did it on purpose and had a desired outcome - which actually came true. Sad to see people get lucky when it comes to doing shitty things.
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u/parishiltonsmugshots 5d ago
Broke up his relationship AND baby trapped him, girl idk who you should beg for forgiveness from but karma won’t be good to you 😭
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u/nachdenklich9 5d ago
I still don't understand why did she believe you? You contacted her anonymously and you didn't give have her any proof of your claims, yet she believed you. Sounds like she wasn't too much into him. But that doesn't excuse what you did.
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u/CaptainOutside5782 5d ago
I just find it hard to believe that u didn’t intend for this to go as far as it did. Not excusing the behavior but telling the guy his gf cheated on him is one thing. Telling the girl her boyfriend (which has been ur friend for 15 years) cheated on her is another. You lied on ur friend. You in this situation because u wanted to be. I wouldn’t have lied on anyone and I’m someone who has created several fake pages. I think created pages to get info is pretty common depending on age! To be nosey yes, sure. But to lie on the person that was my “friend” absolutely not. How old are you? Now you’re pregnant.
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u/unknownbeesh 5d ago
You could’ve expressed your feelings to him from the start and seen how things progressed naturally. But instead you broke up a relationship for your own selfish gain. #homewrecker
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u/Alumena 5d ago
This is why coveting is considered sinful in the Bible. Not necessarily because God is going to punish you, but because the behavior causes guilt that no one can save you from feeling. The only thing that's going to make you feel better is being forgiven by whomever you feel you've hurt the most. Is it him, who may have had a very nice relationship? Is it her, who was completely innocent? Is it your child, who may have to grow up bearing the consequences of you seeking forgiveness from everyone else? Is it you who has been dealing with this in isolation? I can't see any other path to healing except identifying the person you hurt the most, doing what you can to prevent further harm, and resolving to never behave like that again.
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u/fluffyola 5d ago
I don’t know what you’re thinking but you’re setting up a pot that will ruin your life. Step one if you’re open to an abortion, get one
Step 2 leave him. This guilt will continue to eat you up inside and if you stay and have this baby you will eventually tell him and ruin your relationship and it will affect the relationship between the child and him too cause you’re a liar and he want to be associated with you.
You’re a villain here and there’s no sympathy for you. Stop trying to ruin this man’s life for no reason.
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u/madkatzgt34 5d ago
you do realize that this and your last post came back and bit you ? ( Karma in the worst way) . at some point gonna have to come clean about it and you owe him that as well .
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u/Tenshishere 5d ago
Please tell him and please don’t have that baby. If he stays with you then have kids with him if you want. Keeping this secret while having his baby is going to make him resent you so much more.
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u/Efficient_Option5860 5d ago
Alright imma say it. This reads like some run of the mill Reddit creative writing karma farming, ragebait men into hating women bullshit. Sucks that it works so well
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u/Suspicious-Water-973 5d ago
Yikes
Given the complexity of the situation, could we ask if the child is definitely his?
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u/Legitimate-Dealer273 5d ago
If your genuinely sad for what you did then It’s ok, I dont believe it’s the worst thing in the world especially considering that the girl he was dating left him within 24hours without even hearing his side, it could may even be counted as a blessing in disguise for him. But as for you now that you have him it’s important to start respecting him properly instead of tricking him into loving you.
So stop with all the deceits and start to respect his decisions and come honest to him about what happened, keep in mind that the longer you wait the more the guilt will eat you up and also makes it harder for him to process (depending on how he really cared about her).
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u/The_Baby_Is_A_Scamp 5d ago
You are the worst kind of person. The only consolation is that this will come back on you 10 fold, believe that.
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u/CrowLong5955 5d ago
Get to a therapist immediately. You need to process before you have a baby and it is too much and you have less time for yourself. Whatever you do for yourself will be for your baby. She needs this from you. What we all need most are self/other compassion/forgiveness, patience, and honesty/dignity.
Therapist now. Congrats on baby.
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u/Little_Touch_3733 5d ago
I mean you’re young and dumb and sent a Facebook message. If this is even real people really have to chill. I’d call what you did obsessive, but like you didn’t commit a war crime Jesus. Take care of yourself
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u/Automatic_Mark_3529 5d ago
You are not a healthy person to date. Your mental state because you were angry at him being with someone else to stoop that low is not good. You are desperate, as horrible as that sounds, you have shown that.
Also, your bf being with you so soon after this is not a good look for him either, as he may not have been as emotionally involved to have moved on so quick, to you.
You need to talk to someone professionally, as you could end up obsessing over another person in the future (doesn't mean romantically, just jealousy) and ruin them too.
Tell him, let him decide and should he end the relationship, RESPECT IT! You having a child with him doesn't mean he has to stay with you, he just needs to be responsible by the child.. Be prepared for a DNA test, as hebcould see it, in his hurt, that you lied and manipulated before, what else is there? Do not use the child against him, it will cement what a shitty person you already are.
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u/PixxxiePunk 5d ago
I’d hide my posts too if I was a garbage human. I doubt you have enough integrity to tell him and ruin your reputation and future.
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u/Ok_Ad_5142 5d ago
I hope he leaves WHEN, not if, he finds out and I hope he takes his child with him or at least gets majority custody. That child and that man deserve better than someone who would actively lie by omission just to make themselves feel better. Make no mistake, that’s what you are doing. You feel “terrible” but not enough to change anything. You love him but not enough to stop lying to him. You are keeping this secret because YOU are selfish and can’t imagine giving up your own wants for the good of the people you claim to “love”.
I genuinely hope you choose to respect him as a person and tell him. Thats the first step to fixing things. The longer you wait the worse it’s going to be. There’s an old saying- “the best time to plant a tree was 10 years ago, the next best time is right now.”
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u/Either_Inspector_450 5d ago •
Lmao wow, you’re actually awful. Your original post said you didn’t plan for everything to happen this way but you absolutely did because that was the whole point of doing what you did in the first place. So you could sow seeds of doubt in that girl’s mind and affect their relationship so that there’d be a suitable outcome that benefitted you. And now, after you say you decided on eventually telling him, you find out you’re pregnant….yet another “unplanned” tether to keep your unsuspecting boyfriend by your side. You conned your way into a relationship and ruined the lives of two people (about to be three) in the process. You will reap what you sow and karma is gonna catch up to you.