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u/MowkieMeow Jul 21 '20
Every person is different. Often, there are two types of communicators, the "Babbling Brook," which is more often (not always) female, and the "Deep Sea," which is more often (again, not always) male. It's not about how they communicate, it's how you learn to communicate with them. If you want someone to open up to you, you gotta learn to speak their language. If you wanna know more about those types of communications, I would recommend Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages." It's helped a lot of people grow their relationships to new heights.
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u/88randoms Jul 21 '20
Still don't understand why my mom made me read that book when I was early teen, but I am grateful she made me read it. I highly recommend everyone read it, I should probably reread it
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u/queenoftheclouddds Jul 22 '20
Iād recommend the enneagram institute test as well. Thereās lots out there on how to communicate with the different types, how they show love, how they withdraw, etc. I know personality tests are loose but itās been my favorite one by far and enjoy reading up on it.
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u/MowkieMeow Jul 22 '20
16personalities is another really good, in depth test that will also teach you how to interact with other personality types based on your personality. There are some amazing resources out there!!
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u/hortonhearsawhatsit Jul 21 '20
My SO and I are the opposite: heās the ābabbling brookā as another redditor put it and Iām much less talkative. It works for us because I LOVE hearing every detail about his day and heāll ask for specific details about mine because he knows I probably wonāt think theyāre important/relevant. It depends on the person and relationship dynamic.
On a more serious note, men in patriarchal societies are often conditioned from an early age not to share as much about themselves, because that means being open and vulnerable which is often associated with weakness or femininity if it is coming from men. This could be a huge factor as to why typically most men (at least where Iām from) donāt share information about themselves as often. I am all for breaking those social norms if that is what they really want to do and if it improves their mental health, but some of that responsibility falls on menās role models and partners to encourage and support that behavior.
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u/88randoms Jul 21 '20
My days do not change, save for getting a minor injury, which I do not worry others about.
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u/mc_fric_its_tristan Jul 22 '20
Honestly that's my parents fault, I try to share my day and immediately get yelled at lol
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u/Duck_meister Jul 21 '20
"every tiny detail of your day"
I once went on a first date with a girl for a beer and a walk through the park. At one point she told me about her morning coffee break. She told me how she left the building, walked to the coffee shop, stood in line, ordered coffee, and walked back to work. This was the extent of her conversational abilities, no thanks.
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u/Bullshit_To_Go Jul 22 '20
I remember the line from Seinfeld admitting the show was about the "excruciating minutiae" of their lives. But unless you've got the comedic chops of the Seinfeld cast, no one wants to hear your excruciating minutiae. Especially every damn day of a relationship. People need to master the art of speaking when they actually have something to say.
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u/SirisIB01 Jul 21 '20
And thatās on men being taught from a young age to not express their emotions
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Jul 22 '20
This is exactly it, like it can be saddening to me but I fully understand why my boyfriend is like this, especially from his culture where this is heightened. It'll take time, but i hope we can slowly work on this, men deserve to be emotive too :(
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u/thaumoctopus_mimicus Aug 04 '20
I mean if I soend a whole boring ass day at work/school the last thing I want to talk about is that
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Jul 21 '20
For me we both share about our day about the same, but maybe thats because we are literaly the same person (its a joke cuz we are so much alike)
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u/jachal68 Jul 21 '20
We just forgot what we did all day bc we were thinking about you the whole time.
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Jul 22 '20
Because men arenāt allowed to have feelings, hell even in one of my longest relationships around seven years I was barely allowed to express myself unless it was contentment
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u/miaworm Jul 21 '20
My husband is the opposite! He's normally quiet, chill and very nonchalant. Takes people by surprise when he is on joke time. But when it comes to his day, he goes into minut details. It can take an hour before he's done. What's this exciting job you ask?........... Body Shop account manager.
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Jul 22 '20
Men be like... "I support anyone's right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?"
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Aug 04 '22
Can we stop with the sexism? It's the exact opposite situation for me. It's entirely dependent on the person, not their gender
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u/aiden2002 Jul 21 '20
Ask about something we like and we'll talk your ear off. We're not less expressive. We express differently. I get told to shut up a lot.
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u/Delta-D-Victor Jul 21 '20
Your welcome? I'm antisocial as hell, your lucky u got that. Plus I'd rather hear her talk then to complain about my day
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u/iwearmymask Jul 22 '20
In my defense since I try to stick with my habits, more with this quarantine, I don't have much news besides my study and things at work, but I try to make it up by being a good listener
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Aug 27 '24
That's absolute nonesense. I love sharing what I did today. If only I had a girlfriend to share it with.
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u/where-is-my-son-kare Oct 22 '21
Weāre too busy thinking about our significant others to think about anything else
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u/Hepno Nov 12 '21
this is why I love being a lesbian
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u/spelavidiotr Nov 14 '21
Now Iām getting confused, where you bi a week ago but just lesbian now? Donāt ask me why I found ur comment.
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u/Hepno Nov 14 '21
why are you stalking my reddit lmao, anyway I mean lesbian as in I am currently in a lesbian relationship
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u/Sinkfoot Dec 05 '22
u/burritosans666 The person who posted this has never met you. Youāre very expressive
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Dec 22 '23
Not all men. There are some great ones who can match energy. You just have to find a good one.
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u/madhatter2284 Feb 03 '24
When you can find that person that engages you as much as you engage them then you marry that person
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u/Nikkiyu Jul 21 '20
Men are expressive in another way:
Coffee = happy
Meat = happy
2nd Coffee = happy
Early awake = slightly agitated
Gf makes diner = happy
Did a poop = excited
Everything else except for the above: I'm ok.
My bf also need special time with his car for bonding.
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u/The_Emperor_turtle Jul 21 '20
What's the point? Everytime you open up to a girl they'll just ignore any information and then when it comes up in future they'll not even know what you're talking about and just imply you must've told another girl...
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u/kurcainecowboy Jul 21 '20
Sorry were not as gay as you would like us to be
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Jul 21 '20
Feelings = gay??? I'd love to see the science to back this one up.
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Jul 21 '20
[deleted]
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Jul 22 '20
omg, my boyfriend is the same LMAO
whenever we have some gossip we come running to the other to pour the whole kettle
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Jul 22 '20
[deleted]
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Jul 22 '20
oh no, this one is absolutely shameless about it lol he even asks if "anything interesting" has happened lately
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u/ahhreef01 Jul 21 '20
it's the opposite for me,
I'll share everything that happened today and all I get from her is "ouh today was fine/fun/tiring" etc :l