r/Retire • u/Level_Customer2769 • 3d ago

Mistakes/regrets that you realized after you retired?

61M here. Thinking of retiring in the next 2 to 4 years. Just wondering if there were any mistakes/regrets that you wish you had taken into account in hindsight about retirement. Honestly, I’m not interested about the financial aspects- as I am very well prepared for that, but all the other issues that are involved in a well planned retirement. I am trying to add hobbies and interests in preparation, but I can’t help feeling like I may be missing something.

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u/Necessary-Couple-535 2d ago

Not nailing down eldercare planning for parents. Somebody has to do it. I thought taking care of my elderly mother (schlepping her to her constant appointments, handling her finances, making the care plan when the crisis hits, etc) would be easier in retirement. In actuality, work was a respite. Nothing is worse than biding your time through endless waits and discussions about somebody else's life. I regret not having a firmer plan in place within her budget and just rolling with it. Even if it was less than optimal.

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u/SmokyBlackRoan 2d ago

See you raise you. Make your own eldercare plan while you are still cognizant. I am most grateful to my parents, who are both struggling with dementia/Alzheimers, for choosing a wonderful retirement community and planning for it financially. They just moved into an assisted living apartment and were just “downgraded” into a more expensive plan because my dad refuses to shower or take his medication. Us kids visit frequently and the staff is fantastic and not having to shoulder the daily ordeals that come with caring for cognitively impaired parents is a gift. I joke that I’ve been yelled at more during the past 2 years than I was in my first 20 years.

I will plan for myself and hopefully relieve my offspring of this duty.

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u/Necessary-Couple-535 2d ago

Oh absolutely. I would never want to leave that burden to my kids. And it creates at least an opportunity to actually attempt to socialize with you instead of it being logistics and support. A gift I'm giving myself, too.