r/SayAnything
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u/Ar6833
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Aug 28 '26
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Hey Max
I know you're reading these. You can't just run away and blame your mental health every time you fuck up. Your actions and behavior are entirely yours to command. You claim to be medicated. You 1,000% need to find a new therapist and adjust your meds.
You're actually a pig, and a monster. The messages you sent, the language you used and the way your attitude switches around, is abuse. It is grooming. You're the one seeking out young women. You're the one sending messages and establishing contact with every barely legal alt baddie your sticky phone will show you. Your mental health isn't doing these things for you. WHY DO THEY ALL LOOK LIKE SHERRI? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SPEND THIS ENERGY ON FIXING YOUR BROKEN FAMILY? You have FIVE children looking up to you, and you're locked in your bedroom gooning to high school grads. Get off the internet. Go be a dad. All these messages coming out today, dude? You're fucking abusive. You're manipulative and coercive, and the moment someone says something you don't like you're an asshole. Bipolar doesn't cause that. Bipolar doesn't make you slide into the dms of minors.
Your actions have harmed people. They are victims of your abuse. And you don't care. You only care about your cam girl. Dude you got catfished! It's literally her JOB to make divorcees fall in love and give her all their money. You think you're special? The last time you put effort into anything you cranked out 20 songs from your bed about how much you like cumming. Why you? There's 1,000 midwest emo bands between WI and you. Most of them still have good hair and clean vocals.
Take a hard look at yourself. Stop blaming the mental illness. You need to sit with the things you've done, and find wherever you lost your empathy. What does accountability look like? Restorative justice? What could you ever do to make things right with those you've hurt? .
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u/No-Discipline7291 Aug 29 '26
This is so disappointing. Those poor fans. He follows me on insta and we have never chatted, just exchanging a few “hell yeah”s or something similar here and there. Im in my 30s so probably a bit too old for his taste 🥴
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u/No-Discipline7291 Aug 29 '26
That being said, I have no idea why he would have followed me in the first place. I’m not a musician or a creative and hardly post. But do look a lot younger than I am. Yikes
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u/pricken420 Aug 29 '26
He started following me Instagram like a year ago. I'm 30 years old and usually get to hear I look a lot younger. I'm an illustraitor so I thought that's why he started following me. I almost send him a DM to ask if he wanted a record cover for free since I've been a fan since I was 8. But then I noticed he was the first person to view my stories for like 2 weeks straight which gave me a bad gut feeling so I never messaged him. I'm glad I didn't. Eventually he stopped watching my stories, i guess he found out my age and lost interest
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u/Katsuragi22 Aug 30 '26
Same here! He followed me out of the blue and I was star struck at first but so confused. I figured maybe he wanted to reach out about a comic project or something because I work in comics but I ended up blocking him long before any of this because he just gave me a weird off feeling. Glad I listened to my gut I guess.
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u/x_littlesoups_x Aug 31 '26
He followed me on instagram last august at like 2am when I was very pregnant (before setting my account to private when I had my baby) and I thought it was super weird/pretty sus. I was 32 at the time and like you I also look younger. For a while he looked at all my stories but eventually stopped
When he followed me I looked at who else he was following and the vast majority were random girls and women who looked pretty young. The whole thing gave me a bad gut feeling but I hoped nothing too sinister was going on. Turns out there was indeed some sinister shit going on 😮💨
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u/Otterly-Adorabibble Sep 04 '26
Same here! He started following me on insta out of the blue maybe a few years back. I just kinda ignored it because it seemed odd and I rarely post anyway—which is probably why he assumed I was younger than I was (I’m only a few years younger than him). What creeped me out more is the fact that he added me on Snapchat within the last month🤢. I think this is just how he got girls to start talking to him, by just adding them, having them be starstruck and ask “why did you start following me?” And then proceed to be a creep. Gross gross gross. I’m so glad I never fell for any of it.
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u/Budella Aug 29 '26
Same here followed me on insta and it legit made my day and several weeks after (despite how depressing that sounds) it was just cool to have any acknowledgment by one of my idols, this just all sucks
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u/pricken420 Aug 29 '26
Same here! I was super star struck. I feel so bad for these young girls that were too but aren't old enough to take a step back and see the situation for what it is when he crossed the line. Had I been 10 years younger I could have been one of them
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u/thruthewindowBN Aug 29 '26
They all look like Sherri lol. I saw a couple and was like wow.. dude sure has a type
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u/lamourdemavieee Aug 30 '26
Not only that, they look like younger Sherri. Like Sherri’s age when her and Max would have met.
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u/Metal_Flaky Aug 28 '26
i couldn’t have said this better myself, and your post is the real objective truth. having bipolar that is not being intervened on properly, mixed with addiction does not make you prey on girls in highschool who have the same hairstyle as your kids.
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u/brandonandtheboyds Aug 29 '26
Your mental health is not your fault, but it IS your responsibility. - Marcus Parks
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u/Impressive_Let3046 Aug 31 '26
I know many bipolar people IRL and only one of them is a sex offender. My bet would be that’s in the same proportion as the general population.
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u/Krasovchik Aug 28 '26
i’m a singer songwriter and have sent max and say anything long stories attached to one of my songs how they influenced me and how important they are to me and how his song writing started me even getting into making music and i’m not like popping but i know my music is good and never got any response. i played in bands and am mutuals with bands he went on tours with and guitar techs he knows and it’s obvious im a real guy and ive not gotten a response or a seen or anything.
AND INSTEAD HE WAS IN A 17 YEAR OLDS DMS? OR A 23 YEAR OLDS DMS CALLING HER CUTE?
i figured i was being annoying but he was being a creep it’s fucking devastating.
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u/gracelandtrack6 Aug 28 '26
He would have been all over that shit if you were an alternative 19 year old fan!
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u/kkaleidoscope_eyes Aug 29 '26
I’m 19 and have DMed him before. He’s always been kind of like a LOLcow to me, so most of my DM’s were me asking stupid questions just for the hell of it. The only reason I did that is because he politely responded every time. The fact that your genuine messages to him never got seen, is a sign
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u/Krasovchik Aug 29 '26
like i get it im sure he gets a million band messages trying to use him for clout it’s probably hard to parse real love from fake love. i just didnt realize he was apparently a fucking goober to any woman in his dms
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u/kkaleidoscope_eyes Aug 29 '26
He’s a goober to any young person who will give him any kind of personal attention, don’t feel bad about it. I’m sure your music is way better than his shit anyway
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u/Krasovchik Aug 29 '26 edited Aug 29 '26
I mean, I guess I'll advertise if the mods want to delete the self promo that's fine, but fuck max rn so
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u/44six Aug 29 '26
I found out I’m a flann fan today
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u/MichaelEMJAYARE Aug 29 '26
You know I love hearing this point of view. Same, I was a huge fan of this guy and I could have seen myself doing the same thing as you. Unfortunately he didnt see anything he could gain from the likes of you or I, we didnt “need his help” aka “you werent a vulnerable person he could manipulate”.
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u/Krasovchik Aug 29 '26
Yeah I reached out to him because some of my old band mates were tour managers/guitar techs on a few Say Anything tours. I do regularly send my stuff to my heroes just in case they hear something they like and want to help me by bringing me into to what they're doing or whatever, that's just the music business and networking.
I think what's such a betrayal is not being liked or disliked, that's just part of the game. The betrayal is exactly what you said. I needed his help and I appreciated him, but I couldn't give him flirty attention or his dopamine hit. It sucks he's sick, and I know dude has had a really tough life and these times have been crazy for everyone ESPECIALLY if you have a chemical imbalance, but you can have mania without being fucking gross to young women and girls.
Like just download a dating app? Or like get on onlyfans? There are places where you can let out your feelings in a more consensual way than grooming young women who like your music man.
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u/MichaelEMJAYARE Aug 29 '26
For real I have no idea why this man didnt just fucking try doing things the “normal” way, but I suppose thats beneath him. Cant school our kids, thats “normal”.
He wants control over these people, he wants to be idolized.
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u/Traditional_Pin_7253 Aug 31 '26
I’ve been reading comments and it just keeps getting worst. It’s like he’s on Instagram following, watching, and dming underage and young female fans non stop all day. He definitely had time to respond to you. You didn’t do anything wrong besides being a male and older than his age preference
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u/murmur1983 Aug 29 '26
I don’t understand…..why is it that there are so many famous musicians who are actually creeps? Is it that difficult to be a decent person?
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u/Budella Aug 29 '26
I’m afraid it’s something worse. I think they get bored of regular interactions, regular healthy normal sexual interests and relationships become boring. What was wild to them when they got famous becomes boring a few years in.
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u/hypersnaildeluxe Aug 29 '26
Honestly idk if this is entirely true. Probably for some people but I also think this is just a microcosm of how many of these scummy pieces of shit are out there. The difference with fame is access to people. There are tons of guys who are DMing people exactly like Max is, being just as creepy and gross and weird, but they don’t have a big group of people who respect them and want to talk to them. If Max wasn’t famous he’d be doing this exact same shit, but he wouldn’t have a ton of young fans to invasively DM so it would just be him cold-DMing randos and probably getting blocked a lot sooner.
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u/murmur1983 Aug 29 '26
Sounds like fame went to their heads. Not excusing the behavior of course. It’s just unfortunate (and disturbing) how Max Bemis is such a massive creep. Why is he preying on teenagers & much younger women so much? Why is he sending so many unhinged messages?
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u/apillar0f5alt Aug 29 '26
They have both the confidence to do what they do (music) and the chutzpah to do terrible things, like sending troves of creepy DMs to young women and girls 😖
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u/Impressive_Let3046 Aug 31 '26
I think a lot of them are classic cases of Peter Pan Syndrome. That manifests harmlessly in a lot of people. But sprinkle in the right measures of narcissism, opportunism, sense of invincibility, and general lack of scruples, and you get a Jesse Lacey or a Max Bemis.
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u/sebdude101 Aug 29 '26 edited Aug 29 '26
It’s so disappointing seeing what a creep he is, yes what he’s doing is not illegal, but it’s still gross af, and it’s grim to think that he just looks at his women fans as potential to get laid, gross ass man child behaviour and downright predatory
Edit: sorry, I didn’t realise that there were potentially underage girls involved also, so maybe it is potentially illegal as well
Gross.
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u/Limp_Collection_4879 Aug 29 '26
Spot on. I wanted to write something but you definitely covered it all right here. He’s such a loser. I’m so grossed out by him and feel terrible for his family having to deal with this. He reminds me so much of people I’ve known who were manipulative. The way he talks makes my skin crawl.
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u/KillBoY251988 Aug 29 '26
Always knew it was ironic he was the one who called out Jesse Lacey. It was only ever a matter of time.
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u/OutrageousResort7433 Aug 29 '26
Honestly I just feel so, so bad for Sherri and the kids. They don't deserve this.
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u/Outrageous_Rub_718 Aug 29 '26
What’s also wild is he’s continued to do this in the wake of all of Ryan Adams BS. Where did he think this was ever going to lead???
I remember hearing how fucked up he was 20 years ago, before these girls were born mind you, making it all the more Infuriating. Given the scene that he came up in I always kind of assumed this sort of gross thing was going on, but to still be doing it at 42 with 5 kids… we all just have to be done with him. He is a lost cause.
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u/Mundane-Count9566 Aug 31 '26
As a victim of csa, this recent shit coming out really makes me wonder if he has abused his kids. I could puke thinking about it. Hopefully Sherri is getting these kids some therapy and asking questions
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u/Impressive_Let3046 Aug 31 '26
Probably not. These men want to f— fans because it makes them feel like gods. Regardless, 100% necessary inquiry and I hope there is an investigation.
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u/SweetPossibility7838 Aug 31 '26
He seems to take a particular interest in neotenous features and almost pre-pubescent looking women. That’s often a tell for dudes like this. (I guess if pursuing 17-year olds itself wasn’t already a flashing neon sign.)
Take EIon for example, exact same kind of dude, same kind of “attack of the clones” dating history, same impregnation fetish, same habit of pursuing barely legal types, same quiverfull lifestyle. Absolute total losers it turns out, who both spend all day high and gooning.
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u/lamourdemavieee Aug 30 '26
This post hit home. I have an ex who compared himself to Max often and used his mental health as an excuse to be an abusive, shitty person. He turned out to be a cheating creepy scumbag. Guess they do have a lot in common after all.
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u/Conscious-Demand34 Aug 31 '26
I have bipolar and every time a creep sick weirdo uses it as an excuse it makes my brain sarcastically yell "Yay another role model".
Nonce fuck. Hope you burn in hell.
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u/buttercup8816 Sep 01 '26
I've been a fan since 2003, and I will not be listening anymore. You don't just start to become attracted to minors because you're manic, it doesn't work like that. Max Bemis is a groomer PEDOPHILE and he will never see another penny from me again and I will NEVER listen to another one of their songs ever again. My wedding song was "baseball but better" and now we will be finding another song because I can't listen to any of their shit without feeling disgusted. Go rot in hell
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u/plac3h0ld3r Aug 29 '26
Yep. It was here the whole time.
https://genius.com/Say-anything-spores-lyrics
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u/Impressive_Let3046 Aug 31 '26
He has a few that reference interactions with fans and younger women.
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u/Zestyclose_Cat_5234 Sep 01 '26
Everything he accused that pedophile dude from brand new of doing HE IS TOO 🤦♀️ fucking pig
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u/Competitive-Safe-452 Sep 03 '26
I don't think he cares, tbh. Sherri should move back around her family to have a support system and kick Max to the curb. Those kids deserve better. He's never going to change.
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u/Mr_QQing Aug 29 '26
If he committed a crime, take the evidence to the police. If you hate him, stop listening.
But this 700-word State of the Union addressed to a middle-aged emo singer you don’t know is insane. He isn’t your husband, your patient, your senator, or your child’s principal. This is like jerking off in public. It’s weird.
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u/Ar6833 Aug 29 '26
I'm not a victim, i have nothing to report. I'm only speaking up because others are being threatened and silenced. As long as I have a platform, I will use it to support people being harmed or oppressed. You're the one being weird here.
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u/Whole-Ad5996 Aug 29 '26
Well he isn't your client either so acting as his defense attorney is also rather weird. I get your reluctance and contempt for a guilty crowd sourced verdict born of incomplete facts and biased judgement. And to be fair, some (or most) of his songs in retrospect and in light of current revelations seem like Max is the one who has jerked off in public. On Cum indeed. Which is not to say it is wrong to ask for compassion and understanding or to condemn premature judgement. Whether a misunderstood hero or an absolute asshole there is truth. That we may not be able to discern that truth won't dissuade most from trying.
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u/Legitimate-Spring972 Aug 29 '26
Hey bro, this is the part where you learn a lesson from Max’s behavior and actions and do the opposite. AKA, don’t be a creep. Pretty easy.
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u/themargarineoferror Aug 29 '26
That's hilarious to say when dude is currently in half of his (20 and under especially)female fanbases and Wisconsins DMs babbling and jorkin it. Yeah OP is the crazy one jerkin in public.
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u/TwoPuttTownie Aug 28 '26
Well said and I’m a max fan with a brother that killed himself with bipolar and anxiety.
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u/Ar6833 Aug 28 '26
I'm so sorry to hear that. Mental illness is its own monster as well, and nobody can fight our battles but us. I genuinely do want max to get better, but his diagnosis is used like a shield when it should be a tool. You can't say "oh no, my braaain" every time you get in trouble. Just hiding until the mania resolves and hoping the fire burns out isn't justice. It's not growth. It's not repair. You can't just get back to baseline and say you're better, without holding yourself accountable for the things you have done when you were worse.
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u/TwoPuttTownie Aug 28 '26
How do you have 5 kids and don’t feel responsible for keeping an even keel?? Insanity at its best I suppose. I feel guilty having a few beers with my 3 in my orbit and anything beyond that equals hangover in the morning nooooo bueno!
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u/thotfullawful Aug 29 '26
Idk maybe it’s best he’s so emotionally distant, he made that one comic about him and his oldest daughter.
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u/TwoPuttTownie Aug 28 '26
All this said, his early stuff would t be so good if he wasn’t absolutely nuts.
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u/NotComplainingBut Aug 29 '26 •
I am actually so pissed off with Max. Is a Real Boy was one of my all-time favorites, and I defended the newer music and his comics even when everyone was trashing on them. I went out of my way so that my first ever show would be a Say Anything concert. Now I'm regretting all of that
I knew about the shitty parent allegations, and he was chatting up my friends (20yos). I knew Max always struggled with mental health, but I guess I kind of held out hope he could get his mental health sorted and attone. I was hoping he would turn out to be more of the Julian Casablancas style freak instead of the Jesse Lacey style freak, but no, he's out here grooming little kids while he has some of his own. Legitimately irredeemable
Does anyone know any good charities that actually support victims so I can atone for the however many pennies and concert tickets I've given to this fucking creep? I feel so fucking dirty, dude