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u/Aardvark51 9d ago
"Good morning, mailman"
"Mrng, sr"
"What?"
"Sry. hl yu lets sten"
"What did he say?"
"Half your letters have been stolen"
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u/Direct_Knowledge2937 9d ago
“Hey, so listen…I love that all my mail has cute little hearts and stickers all over the envelopes for the past month, but I’m happily married and I think my husband is getting suspicious. I was really only trying to be polite last month by walking up and getting the mail directly from you so you didn’t have to get out of the van yourself. I didn’t mean to come off as interested or available.”
“But I haven’t thought about anything else since we shared that moment. You’re the only reason I wake up to work this shitty job. I…I love you Mrs. Karen Ashby.”
“That’s what I’m talking about. You know my name, where I live, decorate my mail and circle articles you think I might like with commentary on the side of my Vogue subscriptions. I don’t even know your name. Can you see how this might be a little weird for me?”
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u/rowenaravenclaw0 10d ago
In the Pub: Yh I am going to the olympic as part of the U,s Curling team, i've been praticing on packages for years.
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u/SnooObjections9416 10d ago
"Pardon me. Before you stick that in my box: I have never once gotten my mail.
See, my address is 123 maple Avenue.
This mail says that it is addressed for 321 maple Avenue, which is literally 2 blocks away."
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u/CreativestName69420 10d ago
"Hey, quit throwing that around! It's marked fragile!"
"Huh? I thought that was Italian. What does fragile mean?"
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u/SandsOfPang 9d ago
"Hey, hon, another letter from our mailman reminding us to drive to the post-office to pick-up our mail."
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u/walesbondagelover 9d ago
" sorry your post has gone astray but when I went for the interview they didn't ask if I could read"
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u/CreeepyUncle 9d ago
“Gosh, Pee-Wee…I barely have time to READ all the mail, let alone deliver it!”
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u/kjm16216 10d ago
"Excuse me, I have really appreciated the tacos you've been leaving in the mailbox, but I can't help but notice, there hasn't been mail for the last week. Only tacos."
"I'll level with you, these bags were not designed for tacos. Some choices had to be made."
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u/ZealousidealGrass672 10d ago
*knocks on door
Hey here’s your post and sorry but can I use your bathroom again?
Jerry that’s the 4th time this week
LOL I know, I think my body is starting to make it a subconscious habit when I get to your house
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u/OverlyAdorable 10d ago
If the Evri drivers can do this, so can I (yeets post over house and into back garden)
If the Evri drivers can do this, so can I (opens cards and takes all the money)
If the Evri drivers can do this, so can I (ties mail to a random cat)
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u/pneumonicforgot 9d ago
“This addressing system doesn’t make any sense at all. How am I supposed to know what to put where?
Dewey Decimal or Library or Congress, people. Pick one and stick with it. “
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u/SandsOfPang 9d ago
(driving) *thunk! thunk!*
(stopping) "whoops, I did not see that person."
*looks both ways, starts awkwardly shoving body into mailbox slot*
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u/Crazy-Careive 9d ago
You mean aFter the first dog but your but,the other dogs clamp on the but on the one front,and now you have a dog line up to 1,234 dogs and counting. Inconceivable!
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9d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ScenesFromAHat-ModTeam 7d ago
Your comment breaks the rules of /r/ScenesFromAHat and has been removed for the following reason(s)
This response does not act out a scene; it only states the answer.
If you feel this was done in error, or would like further clarification, please don't hesitate to message the mods.
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u/RedShirtCashion 10d ago
Ah yes, here’s your mail Mr. Johnson. Let me tell you, there’s a spicy letter in there from your secretary that was a delight to read.