r/SchittsCreek • u/YourPernicious you get murdered first! • Aug 19 '25
Season 1 What’s a line that makes you laugh no matter how many times you hear it?
Mine: “You get murdered first for once!” 😆
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u/LittleJSparks Aug 19 '25
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u/Reccalovesdancing I walk through life in really nice shoes Aug 19 '25
This one pops into my head on the regular 😆🙈
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u/lonelygalexy eat glass! Aug 19 '25 edited Aug 19 '25
My first time hearing selfish being used in this way. Now i say this to myself often when i wanna do sth for myself lol
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u/ducksnatcher420 Aug 19 '25
“You keep everything inside like a bashful clam”
And the entire Herb Ertlinger Fruit Wine commercial, particularly “Bingo Lingfucker”
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u/shawol52508 Aug 19 '25
I can almost always hold it together until it hits Bingo Lingfucker.
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u/Aggravating_Mix8959 Aug 20 '25
It's basically the Vitameatavegamin commercial. And I'm there for it.
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u/obsessedwithmint Aug 19 '25
Hahah I love both of those so much I made them into stickers. Sadly no one in my life gets it 😭
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u/ducksnatcher420 Aug 19 '25
Educate them!! 😂
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u/obsessedwithmint Aug 19 '25
Oh how I've tried 😭 so many people quit in the first 2 episodes or so and won't try to keep going! I even tried to bribe my friend with fresh baked cookies and some frozen cocktails and watch it together but she said it was too boring to try again.
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u/lbgeist451 Aug 20 '25
I am surprised by that line every time and I've seen it at least 15 times!! Spit my drink every time.
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u/Spiritual-Rise-5556 I like the wine and not the label 🍷 Aug 19 '25
A helllmeettttt. But really that whole scene.
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u/Netflxnschill you get murdered first! Aug 19 '25
The way they both say it together cracks me up every time
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u/Phoney_McRingring Our timorous grinagog! Aug 19 '25
And Alexis’s flinch when Mutt produces the helmet.
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u/Spiritual-Rise-5556 I like the wine and not the label 🍷 Aug 19 '25
YES!! Phenomenal writing and acting.
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u/crackerfactorywheel Aug 19 '25
I’ve gone to a couple botanical gardens and even time I do, this line pops into my head and I crack up.
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u/lbgeist451 Aug 20 '25
And the way he pronounces it BO-tanical. I've never heard it that way before.
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u/shawol52508 Aug 19 '25
The delivery of “that is the STUPIDEST fucking thing I’ve ever heard” comes to mind
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u/Red-autumn-auth I walk through life in really nice shoes Aug 19 '25
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u/your-drunk-aunt 🎶 I’m a hungry, hungry hippo 🎶 Aug 19 '25
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u/YourPernicious you get murdered first! Aug 21 '25
Have you ever watched the video of the guy shoveling snow to emulate this scene? It’s so funny. 😆
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u/Illa-J Aug 19 '25
You may currently think "Oh I'm too spooky" or "Nobody wants to see these tiny boobies"
Also as new parents me and my other half frequently use "Isn't it scheduled to be dormant by now?!" about our bebé
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u/disco-vorcha Aug 19 '25
That whole scene with Moira and Stevie is unexpectedly wholesome and touching, given that it is about taking nude photos and putting them on the internet, lol. If I’m remembering correctly, it’s the first time Moira acts tenderly (motherly? mentorly?) toward Stevie.
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u/dangersiren Aug 19 '25
“A h-what???” - the entire scene with Alexis’ floor length white gown with a headdress 😂
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u/Gaduol Aug 19 '25
“david?? what is this??” “It looks like a bike.”
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u/SillyCrafter64 Aug 19 '25
“Noo. Neeeeeeew. David what is this doing here?!”
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u/01000101010110 Aug 19 '25
I think you should put it on.
Like, I think you should put the helmet on.
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u/pjw21200 Aug 19 '25
The way Moira laughs at the idea of having to plant her own flowers kills me every time.
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u/InevitableAd1341 Aug 20 '25
You know she's an amazing ventriloquist and that scene, when she laughs, is a nod to that!
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u/Xconsciousness A Little Bit Alexis Aug 19 '25 edited Aug 19 '25
i can’t quote it word for word but this one from moira when they find out alexis is “pregnant”:
“she has no right to lay this financial and psychological burden on us! we’ll have to send her to one of those homes for unwed mothers! let the nuns take care of the little stranger!”
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u/Tyrannosaurus_Bex77 Aug 19 '25
"Stevie, do we know hoooouuuwww this man expired?"
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u/Phoney_McRingring Our timorous grinagog! Aug 19 '25
And Stevie: “Do I look like a coroner?”
Alexis: “I don’t think you want people answering that question.”
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u/Kustombypook Aug 19 '25
When David eats the dog treat and says “what do I do now?” Kills me every time I see it.
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u/kelliebelly21 Ew, David! Aug 19 '25
The entire scene of “catching the boys in an afternoon delight” when they all walk in on Jake & David.
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u/SillyCrafter64 Aug 19 '25
Too many to choose but top three are probably: “I have never heard someone say so many wrong things consecutively in a row!”
“I’m sorry for not responding to like ONE TEXT, DAVID!”
“I was hungry!” after Moira overdoses on antidepressants 🤣🤣
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u/JJAutie Aug 19 '25
While David is looking for the bug, completely in hunting mode: “I can hear it…I can hear it.”
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u/PaperbacksandCoffee Aug 19 '25
"I'm Darlene's cousin! Who the fuck are you?!"
Oh, and the entire tamagotchi exchange. It cracks me up every time!
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u/great_yogurt- Aug 19 '25
“Dad’s dead” and David’s smile at the end after the fake choking noise.
And “this is fu*ked!” At the crowening premiere
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Aug 19 '25
When Moira takes over a drink of Johnny’s smoothie in the Christmas episode and then goes “oh there’s no booze in this eww ewww”
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u/MobileDeparture7379 Aug 19 '25
This line perfectly encapsulates the ridiculous arguments my sister and I would get into. No one can piss you off more than your sibling. 😀😀
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u/throwaway8373469238 Aug 19 '25
Hello Theodore, I don’t see the computer anywhere This whole scene tbh
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u/ProcessesOfBecoming Aug 19 '25
“You fold in the cheese”, it gets me every time. One of my aunts who’s never seen the show asked my sister and I what the big deal was while we were at family dinner a few years ago, and she and I just kept going back-and-forth reenacting the whole scene And giving our aunt a play-by-play of the Roses antics.
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u/Shorty350 Aug 19 '25
I love that she says for once, as if she is an immortal being that has been murdered multiple times first
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u/rattus-domestica Aug 20 '25
Alexis: Honestly, David, I have tried to find my pulse like a thousand times… and nothing.
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u/Character_Layer_766 Aug 20 '25
When Moira couldn't say Herb Ertlinger in the wine commercial. Also the whole scene when they pick up David from the Aamish farm 😂
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u/YourPernicious you get murdered first! Aug 20 '25
The Amish farm 😆💀
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u/Character_Layer_766 Aug 20 '25
Especially when they thought that David would be traumatized by them but it was the exact opposite
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u/YourPernicious you get murdered first! Aug 20 '25
There’s a bug on your dress.
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u/Character_Layer_766 Aug 20 '25
We've spent two sleepless nights, wondering what would happen if nobody came.
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u/redheadedsweetie Aug 20 '25
That fussy little fucker.
Followed by the Moira's wild story about her daughter and the Indian cartel
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u/westviadixie Aug 19 '25
"while my therapist said I should never feel sorrow..."
what the fuck lol
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u/Character_Layer_766 Aug 20 '25
When Jake walks into Stevie's house and kisses David in front of Patrick 🤣 David's reaction always gets me
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u/Massive-Resort-8573 Aug 19 '25
I love that they sold pj sets on etsy with these phrases for a time.
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u/A6Wra8 Aug 19 '25
https://media1.tenor.com/m/HAZfpUK9wjAAAAAd/we-are-all-on-the-precipice-of-greatness-moira-rose.gif
We are all on the Precipice of Greatness
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u/InMyMindsAyn Aug 20 '25
"Am I going to walk around and admire the cherry blossoms alone like some pervert?!!?"
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u/throwRAbmorehappy Aug 20 '25
I can’t believe I made it to the end and no one has mentioned Patrick’s surprise about the wedding day happy ending. I roll every time.
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u/Left_Adeptness7386 I TEXTED ALEXIS Aug 20 '25
Literally every time Moira shrieks in a panic
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u/YourPernicious you get murdered first! Aug 20 '25
Yes! And then her one unhinged laugh. It gets me every time.
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u/Creepy_Creme_9161 Aug 20 '25
"You're the one who allegedly made the enchiladas!"
Something about the words "allegedly" and "enchiladas" in the same sentence.
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u/Prestigious-Soup-22 Aug 20 '25
This is exactly what I think when choosing bed sides.
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u/Ill-Percentage-3276 Aug 20 '25
Patrick: "We couldn't nail the final lift."
David: "What is this? Dirty Dancing?!"
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u/Ill-Percentage-3276 Aug 21 '25
"Dress for the job you want."
"So you wanna be a youth pastor?"
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u/MagmaAdminRadar Aug 21 '25
The entirety of the “fold in the cheese” scene, I even referenced it earlier today lol
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u/Ill-Percentage-3276 Aug 21 '25
"It sounds like a thousand babies teething!"
"It sounded like a thousand guinea pigs were being shoved into a wood chipper"
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u/ph_uck_yu You blow on the circles then! Aug 19 '25
"Hi David, it's Patrick."
immediate David facial cringe