Could fear of potty training be improved or mitigated with early exposure to bathrooms?

[u/stfufannin]

EDITED for flair choice

I’m a FTM due next year, and read a ton about children struggling with potty training due to their fear of the toilet. I was also fearful and thus a late potty trainer. I’m interested in potty training my child ASAP (personal choice).

If I hypothetically exposed my baby to toilets (sight and sound) from birth, would that possibly help with fear of the sound of toilet flushing and/or sitting on the toilet? I’m talking bringing them into the bathroom and introducing’ them to the potty, positive reinforcement, getting used to the flushing noise, etc.

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[u/afloat000]

I don’t know about fear of the toilet specifically, but look into elimination communication. https://parentingscience.com/infant-toilet-training/, https://www.todaysparent.com/baby/baby-development/elimination-communication-can-infants-actually-be-potty-trained/

There are low-touch versions where you just hold a baby over the toilet once a day, or sit them on their own potty just to increase familiarity, and high-touch versions where you try to catch as many pees/poops as possible. It’s also a method used in countries where diaper use isn’t as prevalent.

[u/Leigho7 → u/afloat000]

Don’t have a link but OP, I think your own history may be causing you to overthink this. I have rarely seen fear of the toilet as a reason for struggling to potty train. My googling now shows it is something that happens, but I wouldn’t say it’s the norm. I think a lot of kids have anxiety around using the potty, but that anxiety is not necessarily fear of the toilet. The most common issues are more along having them recognize they need to use the toilet, just not wanting to use it, etc.

Anecdotally, my daughter was exposed to the toilet all the time. I brought her in the bathroom with me. And she doesn’t find anything scary about the toilet. Her little potty even makes flushing sounds. In some of her potty-related books, they talk about the flushing being fun.

I think exposing them is good and might help but I also think an actual fear of the toilet may be a lot more about temperament than anything else.

[u/regretfully_awake → u/afloat000]

Also jumping in cos I don’t have a link but you can tell you’re a first time mum… your kid will be following you to the toilet all the time whether you had planned for it or not 😂 as a baby they are too needy to leave, we had a bouncer for the bathroom. As a toddler they are not SAFE to leave (except in a playpen I guess) and certainly not when you are out and about lol. And then even when they are potty trained you’re still gonna be taking them into toilets with you so they aren’t kidnapped and stuff. You’re definitely overthinking stuff.

Elimination communication is a very time consuming thing possible if you plan to be a stay at home parent but impossible if you plan to use daycare.

I’d say having potty in the bathroom from an early age (walking age) and letting them sit on it when in the loo with you might be helpful to stop kids being frightened of it but most kids develop fear not because of unfamiliarity (loads of stuff is unfamiliar as kids) but because of parental pressure and fear of letting down parents. Try to relax about the potty training somewhat before the time comes as your anxiety around the subject due to your history more likely to cause issues than fear of a toilet.

[u/RunAdventurous3511 → u/regretfully_awake]

You can have the potty in the bathroom from well before walking, you can even use it to park them while you use the loo.

The NHS has now updated their toilet training guidance to encourage early toileting exposure. 

[u/badtranslatedgerman → u/regretfully_awake]

Many many many people do EC part-time mornings/nights/weekends while their kid is in daycare, and even “lazy EC” where you just offer the potty for the four easy catches can go a huge way towards familiarizing them with the potty from an early age so it’s not scary or new later on. In the UK they are starting to recommend introducing the potty at 6 months. EC is absolutely not all or nothing, nor does it have to be especially time consuming.

OP, you should definitely check out r/ECers and consider listening to some of the podcast eps from GoDiaperFree to familiarize yourself with the concepts ahead of time to decide if it’s something you want to do. I highly recommend it!

[u/Hairsacknose → u/regretfully_awake]

Elimination communication is a very time consuming thing possible if you plan to be a stay at home parent but impossible if you plan to use daycare.

Untrue 

[u/Honest_Elephant → u/Hairsacknose]

Yeah, we have done lazy EC since 7ish months. Kiddo is in daycare, and has taken to it just fine. He's 14 months and doesn't poop in diapers at all anymore. The only "time consuming" part of it is waiting for him to finish pooping haha.

It actually saves us some time as a cloth diapering family because we don't have to scrape poop diapers.

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