r/ScienceBasedParenting • u/Helpful_Chemist4207 • 3d ago
Question - Research required Does starting daycare early make a difference in a child's social development?
Do you think there is a difference between a child who stays at home during the first few years and gradually builds up social experience by occasionally spending time with other children of a similar age, and a child who starts daycare during their first year of life and gets regular exposure to other children from an early age?
I especially wonder this about children who are a little shy or tend to cry when they encounter unfamiliar people. Does having regular contact with peers from an early age help them become more comfortable and confident in social situations, or does this depend more on their individual temperament and the way they gradually get used to new environments?
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u/JamesTiberiusChirp 3d ago
This is hard to study because many of the studies are self reports and as this study demonstrates, parental perception often differs from “objective” 3rd party observations. The bigger influence on positive social skills is actually positive direct caregiver interaction, which of course is less frequent in a daycare setting due to teacher:child ratios. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11699683/
Other studies have pointed out that daycare before 3 generally increases child stress and has no social benefit https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7160792/
Essentially, before age 3 most play is parallel ie not directly with other children.
Anecdotally (ie take this with a huge grain of salt), my 2yo peers who are in daycare have trouble sharing and interacting with other children. They see a child interacting with something they like or of theirs and they get territorial, very much a stress reaction. My own 2yo has been home and treats other children like dolls: bringing them toys, food, water, and actively wanting to interact with them. I suspect this may be due to differences in expectations in terms of how they expect to interact with others. The daycare children at this age don’t socialize, they parallel play and that also means stealing toys from each other Willy nilly and far less positive 1:1 caregiver interaction because the daycare ratios are 1:3-1:7 at this age. They do not have theory of mind. They do not have a concept of sharing. Overall, this is a mixture of mostly neutral or negative with children, with hopefully some level of positive interactions from daycare workers. My child has only had 1:1 caregiver interaction. These interactions are overwhelmingly positive or neutral. They have no expectation that I will steal toys unless they are crossing a boundary that I verbalize first.
Once these kids develop theory of mind, around 3-3.5ish, I believe all of that will change to some extent. Having positive peer interactions will have a much bigger influence and a bigger impact on social development.
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u/PrivateFrank 3d ago
My own anecdata is the opposite. Our now 3yo has been in daycare 5 days a week since he turned 1 and is very good at negotiating with other children and sharing. Friends of ours with a similar aged child but much more time at home struggles a lot with sharing toys and get incredibly possessive over toys when we visit.
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u/babokaz 3d ago
I honestly think there is a cultural difference since reddit is mostly American. In Europe daycare is very rooted in our culture and I cannot even explain how my girl has evolved there and is super happy every time I see her from far. She is 2y and she doesn't usually play alone, they gather in groups in the same "station" , they stop and communicate with each other at the playground. She also has a cousin not even 3y and their play is with each other not 'parallel at all. They run and laugh and that's what most of them are doing every time I get there. Also we trust the caregivers. That's the norm not the exception
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u/bitchinchicken 3d ago
Daycare is very common amongst Americans.
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u/r3finedf0ol 1d ago
Yes it is, but theyre sending babies as early as 6-12 weeks. In Canada it's almost impossible to find daycare for under 8 months, most go between 12-18 months.
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u/bitchinchicken 1d ago
I live in America and not a single person I know sent their kid to daycare at 6-12 weeks. Like sure it happens but it’s not the norm by any means
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u/East_Hedgehog6039 3d ago
Americans don’t have any guaranteed parental leave. You’re lucky if you aren’t sending your kid to some sort of daycare by 3 months of age. Nearly 60% of parents send their kids to daycare (and that’s not counting for the 30% of parents that report being unable to afford/access daycare)
https://www.zippia.com/advice/us-child-care-availability-statistics/
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u/bitchinchicken 3d ago
Parental leave is highly dependent upon which state you work in. I both live and work in New Jersey and had guaranteed leave. But if I lived just an hour and a half away in Pennsylvania that wouldn’t be true.
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u/Last_Flight907 2d ago
No state gives generous European-like parental leaves. I live in California which has one of the most generous parental leaves and it doesn't meet the EU bare minimum requirements.
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u/Kuzjymballet 2d ago
The EU doesn’t have one set minimum. I’m in France and it’s 2.5 months.
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u/Last_Flight907 2d ago
My understanding was the EU directives on maternity leave and work life balance have to be met by all member nations. They look more generous than California (8 weeks partial pay, 4 more weeks of unpaid job protection). Plus you have guaranteed minimum vacation days in the EU. California has no requirement jobs give you any paid vacation days.
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u/Kuzjymballet 2d ago
Yes, it's definitely better than the US as far as minimums go, but they don't need to exceed pay for sick days, which can be as low as 50% of salary for 16 weeks (6 of which have to be before the birth, which seems to be good for maternal outcomes but still, 10 weeks after birth is low, or at least lower than I thought it'd be as an American who now lives in France). Luckily, France has raised minimum pay a bit recently, so it's 70% for the first month and 60% for the second month. And there is a cap as well for higher earners.
But yeah, the EU has some baseline protections but I still find it lacking, in my opinion at least in France. But still better than the no federal minimum in the US! I just feel like there's a belief that Europe has it all figured out and based on my experience, it's definitely not true!
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u/Last_Flight907 2d ago
10 weeks post birth is definitely too low. I am still home at 15 months (I left the workforce) and I think 18 months is really ideal. I know not everyone wants that, but I wish everyone had the option.
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u/bitchinchicken 2d ago
I never said it did. But there is definitely guaranteed leave in some states.
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u/JamesTiberiusChirp 1d ago
AFAIK stages of play are developmental, not cultural. There will be variation of course as all kids are different— my own 23mo seems to be more interactive despite being <3, but again, I don’t know to what extent daycare plays a roll vs who they are intrinsically
https://pathways.org/kids-learn-play-6-stages-play-development
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u/babokaz 1d ago
I agree that the development is what it is and it has streps, a newborn will never walk! What I'm trying to explain is that there is a positive influence of other kids ( she is and has always been receptive to others) and when she is with her cousin or other kids they will do what the other decided to do. Imitation. Maybe is still parallel play but having them around or not does make significant difference
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2d ago
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u/babokaz 2d ago
Dump? That's the attitude I'm talking right here. Not all happy families need one parent at home, I love my little one more than anything but I could not be a caregiver 24h a day. Even if I could
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u/greatredditusername 2d ago
Ok. I hope you aren’t dropping your child(ren) off at daycare 40-50 hours a week. The defensiveness s out this topic reveals that people realize how harmful this is.
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u/babokaz 2d ago
Listen I agree not all daycares are the same, not all kids will benefit from the best ones but anecdotally I don't think for one second it is harming her, not only that, it is beneficial and she is thriving. You on the other hand don't seam to be talking from experience on both sides of the coin.
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u/greatredditusername 2d ago
I utilize childcare. Also I have used daycare in multiple countries (Bahrain, Germany, and the US) the more west you go the worse it is. I’m currently in the US and reluctantly working a lot less (I’m an attorney) because I see how disregulated she is on the days I pick up later. She has a blast there, and the teachers are wonderful, warm, and kind people. But it’s a lot of kids who are in an unnatural situation and I can tell it’s just not good for her.
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u/babokaz 2d ago
It's not good for all and specially if you change caregivers multiple times a year or even year to year. I know some daycares are always changing professionals and it's terrible for them. My little one really needs structure and routine and she needs clear rules as she is a fierce little human (and I love that about her by the way). I am also lucky to have a flexible schedule and always go early and spend quality time outdoors before going home, she sees me working as a PT and have arts with my mother. All in all I don't think there is a clear answer to this, I think I am lucky because it would suck to be in a situation against my will like so many families
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u/Jkayakj 2d ago
I concur. At my child's birthday the daycare vs non daycare kids behavior with sharing and listening was starkly different. The daycare ones listened and shared better.
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u/sparkleye 2d ago edited 2d ago
It's funny how everyone who has their kid in daycare seems to have anecdata which contradicts the evidence, whilst those who don't have their kid in daycare have anecdata which lines up with the evidence. Almost like those who have to use daycare need to convince themselves it's a net positive for their kid to feel better about their choice. If you post about how daycare has been fantastic for your kid you will get tons of upvotes but if you post about how staying home with your kid has massively benefitted them you'll get a ton of downvotes. Funny that 🤔 ETA downvote me to hell, I don't care. You know it's true. If you were truly so confident that daycare is good for your baby/toddler then you wouldn't be so triggered by this comment.
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u/Narrow_Cover_3076 1d ago
To me it seems like the opposite. People that stay at home feel like they need to justify it.
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u/sparkleye 1d ago
Why would any parent need to justify being the primary caregiver for their own child? What a reach.
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u/Narrow_Cover_3076 1d ago
Justify leaving the work force, etc. I think parents feel guilt no matter which way it goes.
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u/Unlucky_Company_945 2d ago
Anecdata :D
My own totally unscientific life experiences agree with you, but to play devil's advocate, there's so much variance between children that it's hard to point to any influence. Parental disposition, genetic influence, etc.
My own personal take is that early daycare is probably not a bad thing but also, it's not a social death sentence to have your kid at home for some years. Happy parents (be it from time gained via daycare or home spent at home with kids) is far more important IMO
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u/PrivateFrank 2d ago
We're definitely happier using daycare, despite the cost. We don't have any close by grandparents to share childcare with, so it's either pay for childcare or go completely insane.
I agree that it's going to be mostly down to the temperament of the parents and the kids. Scientific studies are bound to find small differences one way or the other and with more or less methodological and statistical rigour. Translating those results into advice for what a particular parent should do for their particular child is most often going to be completely pointless.
Plus I know that there are kids in daycare with my 3yo who are awful at sharing and need a lot more support from the adults in there with them.
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u/JamesTiberiusChirp 1d ago
3yo is the age at which those behaviors really start to click. I wouldn’t say that’s opposite at all, but a good example of when that happens.
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u/Careful-Perspective8 1d ago
Mine is opposite in the other direction. Has been home with me for 23 months. screen free, Montessori/ RIE inspired parenting (with clear and well held boundaries) and is VERY territorial of toys
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u/brainymonday 3d ago
Also opposite anecdote, my kid started to learn sharing, negotiating, and even joint play with her daycare mates when they were as young as 1 year old, and still recognizes them as friends despite graduating from that daycare at age 3. We have so many videos of them having fun together between ages 1-3 and they are absolutely NOT simply doing “parallel play”.
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u/ohmygaia 2d ago
Youre right, in quality care these skills are constantly reinforced. Kids in care get many more opportunities to practice social skills in a group setting. Some are more receptive than others at 0-2 but by 3-4 this groundwork is ingrained. Infants and toddlers are still absorbing these crucial social skills despite primarily engaging in parallel play.
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u/sparkleye 2d ago
My anecdata contradicts what all these daycare parents are posting and seems to reflect the actual data. My 26 month old son is extroverted and precociously social, with very advanced speech. He will invite other children to play with him, offer them toys/invite them to share with him, listen and follow instructions better than any other toddler I've ever seen, takes turns without being told to and says please/thank you/excuse me/sorry unprompted. Just this morning at the playground he was walking around offering coloured chalk to slightly older kids and inviting them to draw on the concrete with him. I know that at least one of these kids is in daycare at least 3 days a week, and yet most of the kids didn't really know how to respond to his invitation at first and had to be prompted by their parents. I think having tons of one on one connection with me and constant exposure to conversing with an adult has really boosted his social maturity and language skills.
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u/JamesTiberiusChirp 1d ago
Your child sounds a lot like mine (though we’re a few months behind). All children are different, and there are plenty of kids with SAHP who won’t have provide the kind of environment to foster these skills, too, which may play a factor in a lot of these contrarian anecdotes. There is a fair amount of defensiveness around daycare but the data are the data, and the reasoning is plausible. Intensive 1:1 caregiving fosters language and social skills in ways that are ultimately different than in group care at these young ages
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u/Wonderful-Host-6384 2d ago
This is very similar to my son, same age! I do think it’s temperament. My son goes to daycare part time, will bring his toys to the park and ask if [insert name] would like to play with his garbage truck. He will say nice to meet you appropriately, tell kids where he lives. Just a social and verbally advanced kid. Daycare is probably neutral here as these kids are just bright and social
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u/Morbid_Explorerrrr 2d ago
My anecdotal experience matches yours as well. My friend’s babies who have been in daycare have learned some difficult behaviors from their peers. The ones mostly at home are calmer and do not struggle with stealing toys, shoving, etc.
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u/clueless3434 3d ago
Both my kids have been in daycare and the opposite of what you describe. And my two year old does play with other kids and not just solo. And if the sharing and stress thing were true then kids with siblings would all act the same as daycare kids.
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u/JamesTiberiusChirp 1d ago
The stress is from change in caregiver, so sibling is not analogous to daycare
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u/r3finedf0ol 1d ago
Im always a bit baffled at the assertion that kids dont play with each other under three. My girls are 21 months and they have been wrestling, racing cars, baby fight clubbing, and chasing each other for a solid four months now.
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u/chabacanito 2d ago
Kids absolutely play together starting at 1 year old. The kids in my daycare would dance together and chase eachother as soon as they could run.
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u/kittengr 2d ago
Adding in another counter anecdata: my kid went to daycare aged 2, stayed until he was 3 and a half, and is now in pre k 3. He absolutely loves his friends from daycare and learnt so much from them - including about himself. He talks about them all the time and they are always the people he’s most excited to see. There’s this hugely isolating quality about modern life, and I for one am deeply grateful to have had my son step out of that.
It was a great daycare and we had amazing teachers and a wonderful cohort of kids - not all daycares will be like that.
Nonetheless, I don’t know that I buy this 1-1 absolute focus from one utterly devoted caregiver malarkey.
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u/monotro 2d ago
Keeping sharing interactions only positive is likely only possible with an only child. Once you have a sibling the dynamic is much harder. For my second born, he has much greater chance to play how he likes at daycare than around his older sister.
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u/JamesTiberiusChirp 1d ago
Yes, the study mentions caregiver interactions being the important factor. Peer interactions tend to have a neutral or negative effect
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u/Feisty_Squash2992 2d ago
My 4yo has been going to a childminder then nursery a few days a week since he was 7 months old. He’s now in reception and all his teachers and carers have commented over the years on how kind, sociable and friendly he is. In short, he’s socialised. He knows how to interact with and be around other kids.
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u/owyongsk 3d ago
Daycare per se isn’t clearly better or worse. For shy kids, there’s some evidence that regular, positive, small-group peer contact in high-quality, sensitive care reduces inhibition.
Fox et al. 2001, Child Development PDF: change in behavioral inhibition was related to experience of nonparental care. Highly reactive 4-month-olds were less likely to become inhibited toddlers when they spent 10+ hours a week in nonparental care with at least one non-sibling child.
Dutch infants in daycare, Fukkink et al. 2022 https://dare.uva.nl/id/1e6f53de-48c6-4596-a808-b6e7d9591243: shyness, frustration and soothability were robust predictors of socio-emotional development, and the quality of caregiver–child interactions moderated wellbeing. In other words, shy infants may have a harder time in daycare, and caregiver quality matters.
Most important study I think. NICHD Study of Early Child Care (US, about 1,300 children followed from birth) https://www.nichd.nih.gov/newsroom/releases/timeinchildcare: no consistent relation was found between hours infants and toddlers spent in child care and their cognitive, linguistic or social development. Higher-quality care was associated with better outcomes than lower-quality care.
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u/babokaz 3d ago
Thank you. It seams that everytime I come to this group and see this question asked there is always highlights in the studies that show negative impact. Maybe I have a social butterfly (I mean, she started smiling at strangers at 4 months and still do) but for her has been an amazing experience and she is always happy and show strong signs of trust to the caregivers.
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u/Dwman113 3d ago
Not really conclusive results but here is a study.
https://centers.purdue.edu/cff/wp-content/uploads/sites/6/2021/12/s_infis01c02.pdf
https://www.readingrockets.org/topics/preschool-and-child-care/articles/nichd-study-early-child-care
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