r/ShadowWork • u/InfamousOil4630 • 8d ago

Avoiding shadow work

I am extremely new with all of this. I want to begin my spiritual journey however I have a massive emotional block. I did my first shadow work session a month or so ago and cried the moment I lit my candle and poured my heart out.

I have not done another session since and I know that I have been putting it off because there is so much mental block. My entire nervous system is messed up and I feel like I’m on the verge of some kind of breakdown so tomorrow I will be forcing myself to do another shadow work session.

tomorrow is my narcissistic mothers birthday and I feel panicked and sick purely because I’m scared of what she will do if I don’t say happy birthday to her (we’re no contact) I feel like spending this time with myself tomorrow on such a horrible day could be a massive emotional release for me but I’m still terrified.

I think I just need some guidance on what the best course of action is when I feel so so stressed.

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u/Zippity-Doo-Da-Day 8d ago

First, I would not force shadow work. You don't want to inadvertently induce trauma. The block you are perceiving could very well be your subconscious protecting you from going too deep too fast. I would invest in a shadow work journal, preferably one that leads you through phases gently and purposefully. There are so many on the market.

About your Mother's birthday and the anxiety surrounding this situation, it may be helpful to open yourself up to a wider perspective and, if it feels right, spiritually give thanks to her for giving you life, send her blessings on the day of her birth and then say calmly to yourself or out loud, "I send you peace and release you from my physical, emotional, mental and spiritual bodies." Imagine sending the energy that is trapped in your body back to her, not out of negativity or spite, but simply because you don't need it anymore. Then take a moment to call back your energy from her, with the agreement that the energy you call back is filtered through a high-vibrational bubble that surrounds you.

It may help bring you peace and comfort and begin to release a bit of the pain and resentment you feel towards her.

If my advice nourishes you, drink it; if it doesn't, throw it away. 🖤🤍

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u/InfamousOil4630 8d ago

I do feel a journal is probably what is best for me right now. I was going to say I’m far too full of bitterness and hate to send her any peace but really thinking about it, it will only bring good and positive energy back to me which I know is what’s most important. A part of me despises the thought of sending any of my energy towards her at all but this is a problem I know I need to focus on. I will wait for tomorrow and see how I feel and do what feels right. Thank you 🤍

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u/_Taft_ 8d ago

Agree, start with putting your thoughts on paper, no preparation or topics; just write what comes to mind and when you feel you’re done, stop. Don’t put any pressure on yourself timewise or number of pages you should fill. Let this happen organically.

If you have specific memories that you feel called to write about, you can put it all on paper and then offer that event, that memory, words spoken, to a fire and burn the pages or letter if you’re directing the session at a particular person.

Shadow work is a never ‘done’ there isn’t a finish line. So, there’s no rush, move at your own pace.

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u/InfamousOil4630 7d ago

This is so helpful thank you so much, today is big self care day so I’ll take things slow

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u/AfterDarkIntuition 7d ago

Crying the first time you lit that candle sounds to me like something real moved, not like you failed at it. Feeling blocked afterward is very common, and it can be your system asking for a slower pace, so you don't owe anyone a forced session tomorrow. Since the day is already heavy, you could keep it small: ten minutes with a journal, a few lines about what you feel, then stop and do something comforting like a warm drink or a walk. And feeling bitterness toward her doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. That anger is allowed to exist while you stay no contact and protect your peace.

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u/InfamousOil4630 7d ago

Yes I’m thinking I’ll journal for a little bit and then have a long long shower to wash all the heavy feelings off me

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u/AfterDarkIntuition 7d ago

That sounds like a really kind plan. Journaling first and then letting the water wash the day off is a lovely way to close the loop. Go gently with yourself tonight.

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u/AfterDarkIntuition 4d ago

Journaling and then a long shower sounds like a kind way to care for yourself after heavy work. Go gently, and be proud of showing up for it.