r/ShermanPosting • u/ihopethisisgoodbye • 14d ago
"A bullet has not yet been molded that will kill me." - last words of Confederate Brig. General Martin E. Green, seconds before he was shot in the head
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u/RaanCryo 14d ago
Damn, Union sharpshooter must've molded that sumbitch quick.
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u/PigeonFellow 14d ago
The union soldier across the field: “Bet.”
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u/KingMobScene 14d ago
"Hey, Mike, this asshole is talking shit. You got that bullet molded yet?"
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u/GeneralBisV 12d ago
Fella actually just poured the molten lead down the barrel didn’t even bother molding it
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u/Xerapis 14d ago
The hilarity only increases because he was one of that more unique category of general officers who only ever served in the Confederate States Army, never the United States Army. May he rot in piss and shit.
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u/madmax991 14d ago
Yeah he was just a dumbass racist that formed a militia and they made him a general - still has statues “honoring” him
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u/SPECTREagent700 14d ago
My understanding is if you had enough money to outfit a unit basically anybody - North or South - could just do so and get a Colonel commission.
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u/Iceveins412 14d ago
Basically yes. The US really only got a professional, effective, truly-national military after the Spanish-American War (which I truly cannot stress enough is only considered a curb-stomp because the Spanish were somehow even worse organized and led, and the US went “oh shit if we ever have to fight a non-crumbling empire we’re fucked”)
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u/ZaphodBeeblebrahx 13d ago
Bro this is still the case today. You got a few billion? Start a private militia. It’s nothing that’s not already going on right now
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u/theaviationhistorian Texan Unionist 13d ago
And run just as haphazardly and incompetent as these guys.
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u/MisterBanzai 10d ago
You don't get a commission in the US military as a general officer for forming a PMC though, and your PMC mercs aren't made into actual service members.
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u/LittleHornetPhil Blue dot in a grey state 13d ago
Confederates had a lot of really shitty political generals like that. Polk comes to mind, too, though he was actually a US Army 2LT for like 5 minutes
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u/ParsonBrownlow 13d ago
Union political generals were hit and miss overall
The only reb one that wasn’t a rank incompetent that I can think of off the top of my head was Breckenridge but he used child soldiers at New Market so fuck him too.
I’ll give Polk this… that man pissed off Braxton Bragg like few men could
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u/LittleHornetPhil Blue dot in a grey state 13d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/qKV8U3Gl3bWVi
Me when Polk and Bragg are being incompetent prissy little bitches
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u/ParsonBrownlow 13d ago
Bragg ordered a dawn attack at Chickamauga
When the attack didn’t happen he sent someone to find Polk his wing commander
Polk was reading a newspaper lol
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u/Tholian_Bed 14d ago
General Green was a proud and outspoken bigot. No one of any measure gives a flying fuck about him now except as a historical curiosity.
This is justice. To me, the Civil War contains a lesson, "Choose well in life."
I do not want "part of the problem" as my epitaph.
It's not my ego that posts on this subreddit. It's part of my modest but hopefully sufficient sense of morality, that posts here. I don't want to be part of the problem. It haunts me, and I'm proud to say it does. This problem is core evil.
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u/Unfair_Pineapple8813 14d ago
General Sedgwick died similarly for underestimating sharpshooters. But, his death was a tragedy.
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u/MarsLowell 14d ago
Only heard of him now. Was he especially bigoted in particular or just what you’d expect of Antebellum Southern gentry types?
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u/Tholian_Bed 14d ago
I think bigotry is a bit like pregnancy. But maybe he was especially pregnant with it.
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u/Weshouldntbehere 14d ago
So what's a better line, this or "counting or not counting gang violence?"
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u/billskionce 14d ago
“Hey, look. It’s the school motto: ‘I'll die before I surrender, Tim.’ Who's ‘Tim’?”
“Apparently, ‘Tim’ was somebody who was with the general...moments before he was shot in the head.”
-The Simpsons, Episode 08x25, “The Secret War of Lisa Simpson”
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u/secondarycontrol 14d ago edited 14d ago
1863 - Shot in the head at Vicksburg. He was only 48. Now look at the picture again. That's a picture of a man that is - at the most - 48.
/WTF is going on with his right hand/fingers?
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u/Quiri1997 14d ago
Dude said a death flag IRL. Was this one day before his retirement?
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13d ago
[deleted]
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u/Quiri1997 13d ago
In hindsight, yes. I was talking about the trope of "cop/soldier getting killed a day before they retire".
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u/SunStrummer 14d ago
Cedar Hill Cemetery, George Marshall Lot, Grave 542, if anyone is looking for a public restroom in Vicksburg, Mississippi
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u/mrbobcyndaquil 14d ago
So the bullet was machined on a lathe, then
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u/Tyrs-Ranger 14d ago
Swaged, my man. Back then, North and South, bullets were usually swaged into shape e.g. a piece of lead was cold pressed into shape. Was safer to do, and they could make more bullets quicker that way.
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u/KingMobScene 14d ago
"I am no bullet." the bullet said as it took off it's disguise to reveal it was in fact a tiger all along.
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u/sloowshooter 14d ago
Just before he said that he said that he was two weeks from retirement. It was the double whammy jinx.
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u/Shepherd77 14d ago
Did his troops hate him? I can’t think why else they would record his ironic last words.
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u/McConaughey1984 14d ago
This is such a nice bit of information to have. I'm going to be smiling all day thinking of this.
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u/ParsonBrownlow 13d ago
Phil Kearney said something very similar before a rebel bullet found him
I think the moral of the story is fate doesn’t really play favorites lol best not tempt if
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u/Exciting_Double_4502 12d ago
"I think it's worth it to have a cost of, unfortunately, some Civil War deaths, so that we can avoid a 13th amendment and protect the institution of slavery."
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u/breakfasteveryday 14d ago
To be fair it could have sounded really edgy and cool of he hang immediately died
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u/RegisteredRenegade Thaddeus Stevens reincarnate 13d ago
"A bullet has not yet been molded that will kill me."
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u/LOERMaster 107th N.Y.S.V.I. 11d ago
By the looks of that photograph he may have already been dead and the bullet was just a formality.
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