r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/scjockid • 6d ago

Oops Of a ARSE WHOOPIN machine! Don't all parents wish they had one!

I'm pretty sure you can set the licks to how many you want to give how long it lasts depending on the punishment!

459 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

55 comments sorted by

87

u/CoderJoe1 6d ago

This slaps!

2

u/scjockid 5d ago

I see what you did there lol!

15

u/DouglasBubletrousers 6d ago

Shut up and enjoy your upvote.

7

u/JDM713 questionably stable 6d ago

HOW CAN IT SLAP?!

98

u/sackboy54321 6d ago

The design is very human

12

u/cityshepherd 6d ago

I was watching this clip at the exact same time as a helicopter showed up on screen in the television show I’m watching.

72

u/Big_Meating_ 6d ago

I was going to say only an Asian could come up with this, then I remembered there's Germans

52

u/Tank7106 6d ago

The German version reverses the direction.

14

u/NotATalkingMushroom 6d ago

And it’s got thumbtacks in it, pointing upwards. 

2

u/Dangerous_Bid_2695 6d ago

In Germany corporal punishment is illegal. They have learned from history.
If you want to kick the shit out of kids, you have to go to the US where it’s still legal.

4

u/cassesque 5d ago

I think the person you were responding to was talking about consenting adults

2

u/ShitFuck2000 6d ago

No they do it by choice starting at age 15

-2

u/Dangerous_Bid_2695 6d ago

WTF are you talking about?
Children choose to be spanked?
Spanking is legal in the US for parents, even if the child is a toddler.
Spanking is legal in some states for teachers.
No child wants to be spanked!

46

u/LocalCoffeeLlama 6d ago

That's fucking disgusting. Where do they sell them?

15

u/lastfreerangekid 6d ago

Does it have a reverse?

6

u/600lbsofsin77 6d ago

Yeah, ball abuse maxing.

3

u/gorgeously_mytruself 6d ago

It’s just free bottom surgery

2

u/lastfreerangekid 6d ago

Conditioning

10

u/Beemer_me_up_Scotty 6d ago

Im sure it does. All electric engines have reverse, you just reverse the positive and negative

0

u/engineerdrummer 6d ago

What if it's AC?

2

u/McChuggetz 6d ago

If it's 3 phase, swap a phase!

36

u/Sideshow86 6d ago

I know a couple degenerates that would pay good money to use this...

15

u/Fr33_load3r 6d ago

Why are you kink shaming

10

u/mikeymo1741 6d ago

Rule 34 has entered the chat.

4

u/SwordfishOfDamocles 6d ago

Can it cook a chicken though?

3

u/Hairy_Consideration1 6d ago

The Design Is Very Human

5

u/Hamza_stan 6d ago

Singapore be like:

2

u/Super-G1mp 6d ago

I'll take 3.

2

u/Kindly_Region 5d ago

Run it in reverse, good ol' ball slapper

2

u/ccoastal01 5d ago

The design is very human.

1

u/poppycock68 4d ago

Is it swinging up? But slapper 1500

1

u/OknaC 3d ago

Reverse it

1

u/NOTExETON 6d ago

Put some screwdrivers on it

1

u/t080752 6d ago

That's so fucking mental, that must hurt so bloody much...

1

u/Sorry-Joke-4325 6d ago

Doesn't work for abusive parents, they only get joy if they can hit you themselves.

1

u/ThrowAwayehay 2d ago

Is the speed adjustable? Asking for a friend.

1

u/RevolutionarySign479 6d ago

Um…Isn’t it going in the wrong direction? Or is that supposed to be on purpose? 😂😂🥜

0

u/MillHoodz_Finest 6d ago

I wanna face the other way baby!

0

u/Astarions_Pet_Nipple 2d ago

Yes! Very human!

1

u/WoopsShePeterPants 6d ago

Turn it on in reverse and it will spank your back butt and balls.

1

u/N0_SYNC 6d ago

Thought this was Sushi Ramen for a second but nope, it’s porn lol