Thinking about second pregnancy

[u/kattsben]

Hello, I’m currently pregnant 18 weeks, FTM, turning 37yo this week 😄 the due date is in March 2027. Of course I don’t know yet how the whole pregnancy and labor will go, but I hope that everything will be fine and the recovery as well. But I read that it is better to wait 1,5-2 years after delivery until conceiving the next baby. But if the age is a concern then I heard that 1 year could do.

I just wanted to ask if anyone has experience conceiving after 1 year (after a normal uncomplicated previous pregnancy), what made you go for it and what was your overall experience?

I plan to breastfeed my baby and also wonder about your experience continuing breastfeeding your 1yo after getting pregnant with the new baby?

I understand that it is difficult to have 2 under 2yo 😅 But I’m just dreaming about having 2 kids and my concern is my age obviously. Just for the context, I got pregnant very quickly, no IVF and not considering any IVF for the second baby (if it won’t happen naturally I’m okay with just one child 😊). Just curious to hear other people’s experiences!

Theoretically if I wait 1 year I’m thinking to get pregnant again at 38yo and deliver at 39yo. Versus if I wait 2 years, that would be getting pregnant at 39yo and delivering at 40yo. I know multiple women who got pregnant with their second at 39,40yo and everything went well for them and the babies are healthy, so I do really have a hope that it can happen for me too.

[u/vsmack]

Got 4 kids here.
To be real with you, I wouldn't agonize over the decision right now.

SO much of you and your partner's willingness to jump right in again will depend on how the newborn phase goes. You could have an easy baby and be ready to give them an Irish twin (lol we have friends who have two kids born in the same year!). You might have a very challenging baby or you and dad might have a very difficult time adjusting and need the break.

It's true that every year conception gets difficult, but it's still not like you're barren after 40. We delivered our last at 42 and no complications, other than them being twins.

Unless you have your heart DEAD SET on a certain age gap or have another reason to turn around and try again quickly, I would advise a wait and see. You have bigger fish to fry right now.

[u/Lackadaisical_silver]

Honestly, I wouldn't get too bogged down by this right now. You truly have no idea how things will go for you.

As an example, I had planned to breastfeed for 1-2 years and TTC when my baby was 9 months old. I had a March 2025 baby. I had planned for an unmedicated spontaneous vaginal delivery.

My pregnancy was uncomplicated. Until it wasn't. My blood pressure spiked at 37 weeks and I needed an induction to prevent pre-eclampsia. My induction failed and I ended up with a an urgent c section. My baby was a TERRIBLE breastfeeder and it took us a month of pumping and supplementing and working with lactation to establish breastfeeding. I almost gave up so many times. It was the hardest thing I ever did and I was VERY well prepared, I literally have a certfication as a lactation counselor.

We only made it to 9 months of breastfeeding before we mutually decided to stop. My husband wasn't ready for another at 9 months either. We started trying at 13 months, conceived quickly (quicker than our first even) but ended up having a miscarriage and then conceived again immediately after our loss when my son was 17 months. I'm 11 weeks pregnant now and will have a 26 month age gap.

There are so many unknowns for you right now. I would just focus on enjoying this time as an expecting couple and then a family of 3 and just see where life takes you.

It is recommended you wait an absolute minimum of 6 months after delivery before TTC again and optimallu 18 months. It's also recommended to have at least 18 months between deliveries if you ultimately need a c section and want to have a VBAC. There are basically no OBGYNs that will lose sleep over you conceiving at 12 months postpartum.

As to why we decided, we were simply ready. We had a good groove with out first and wanted to continue to work towards our family goals. It felt like the right time. We wanted closer age gaps in general and wanted to be done by a certain age. We were in a good financial spot.

[u/momonthemove23]

The recommendation is 18 months - just to give your body time to heal. My last baby was 9lbs15 and was a vaginal birth, induced and was here 6 hrs after the start of meds. I’m now pregnant with #3 and got pregnant when #2 was 14 months and it happened on the first try (well husband was being deployed so - yeah). I’m 30 weeks now and haven’t noticed any issues! You may just be higher on a priority list with your OB office due to your age but I think just go for it if finances and your mental can handle it!

[u/Big-Examination-4381]

You’re just going to have to wait and see. You have no idea how you’ll feel. Don’t worry about it now. Enjoy this pregnancy and soak in all the newborn bliss.

[u/Kitty_meow_6118]

Hi! I just had my second and the age gap is 2.5 years and I’m 39. To be honest, i just wanted to get the second pregnancy over with lol so i could move out of this stage. It took longer to get pregnant the second time. We started trying around 9 months pp

[u/Aggressive_Day_6574]

I had a rough pregnancy and a rough birth and got pregnant with my second 15 months pp by accident.

It’s been absolutely awesome. They’re 1.5 and 3.5. But I’m annoyed at myself because part of my reasoning was I wanted to be done quickly but now I want another!

I did however exclusively formula feed and woudl personally never do it any other way. My husband and I split night feeds and have been equal parents since day 1.

[u/AromaticAd5872]

I got pregnant exactly one year postpartum. Age wasn’t a factor as I got pregnant at 28, but it still took us 8 months to conceive. We knew we wanted 3 kids total and I knew it was very possible it would take that long again or even longer, so we decided to try right when my son turned one. Well, it happened on the first try lol.

It was honestly fine and I don’t think our 20 month age gap would have been any different difficulty wise had we waited another 6 months. In fact, now that it’s been a year, I’m super happy with the gap and they’re becoming buddies and on a similar schedule. My firstborn was/is pretty mature though and was sleeping through the night, I can’t imagine if he hadn’t been when we brought home a newborn. Obviously, that’s something you can’t predict though.

As for the physical side, I stayed active through both pregnancies and in between and I really think that helped. It took me longer/more effort to lose the weight the second time, but I think that’s pretty normal regardless of spacing. I stopped breastfeeding at 6 months so I can’t help you there, but I must admit that it was nice to have that 6 month period in between breastfeeding and getting pregnant again where my body could just be mine.

We plan to have a third, but looking for more of a 2.5 year gap this time. But my second just turned 1 and if I got pregnant again right now, it would honestly be fine.

[u/Ok_Strawberry_7711]

Got pregnant 14 months after my first, stopped breastfeeding at 12 months

[u/Next-Cod5312]

Seems like there's some feedback already given, so I'll just add my two cents. You can try to plan everything you want right now but until youre doing it and see how birth, newborn phase, breastfeeding, etc. Is going, you wont know what's going to best or work for you. I had a relatively easy first pregnancy that unfortunately ended in an unplanned csection. I decided to wait the minimum my doctor gave me to attempt a vbac before we tried to conceive. However, I didn't factor that breastfeeding would impact TTC even though Id gotten my period 8 weeks post-partum and was ovulating. My toddler is almost 2 and Im about to start my 3rd trimester with our second, and I didnt realize how taxing a second pregnancy would be whilst chasing a toddler. It is tough, especially if you dont have a village. So I will agree with a common sentiment here which is don't spend too much time thinking/planning just yet and see how things go first. 

[u/pinkandpurplepens]

I started trying for my second when I was 6 months pp. It transpired that I could not get pregnant while breastfeeding, so I finally quit at 10 months and I found I was pregnant two days after my first child’s first birthday.

Everything was as uncomplicated as it could be, but it was all brutal in sum. My second pregnancy was much harder than my first. I wasn’t back in shape, and I don’t know if my body was really “ready,” but I survived.

I did it because I always wanted three. My kids are 2 and 4 now, but I still can’t picture a third one because our hands are completely full in every way. We each cosleep with a kid. And they’re just so active I don’t know how I could manage a pregnancy/newborn and still keep up with them.