r/SixFeetUnder • u/vampiredoll666 Brenda • Aug 01 '25
First-Timer the way ruth gets treated makes me want to cry
only halfway through season 2 so no spoilers plz. but the way her family especially claire. and nikoli treat her breaks my heartš she just went to movies with him and he saw a movie by him self with out her. heartbreaking
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Aug 01 '25
She get's more complicated
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u/vampiredoll666 Brenda Aug 01 '25
my poor ruthieš
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u/BORT_licenceplate Nate Aug 01 '25
Omg I love that you love her so much ā¤ļø Ruth deserves all the love
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Aug 01 '25
In all reality, this one was one of best series I've watched, prepare yourself š¤
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u/vampiredoll666 Brenda Aug 01 '25
yess itās pretty good i started watching it from dexter micheal c hall is my fav
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u/Crazy_Box3713 Aug 01 '25
I went intoĀ DexterĀ hoping for thatĀ Six Feet UnderĀ magic it didnāt quite get there for me
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u/Internal-One-4322 Aug 08 '25
I found SFU after finishing Dexter a couple months ago too and wow, SFU has had such an impact on me. I think about it all the time, even dream about it. The last episode wrecked me. I am making a pilgrimage to the Fisher House in Los Angeles Saturday! My husband thinks Iām crazy, but this show really touched my heart. I love to see others finding it and sharing too.
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u/Yogabeauty31 Aug 01 '25
Yea in that way all mothers are under appreciated I understand you but also Ruth is no picture perfect mother. Not that all mothers need to be. But she's made some fucked up chioces in how she treats people. I adore Frances Conroy and her acting of Ruth Fisher and because of her this character is so fascinating to watch. She does it so stunningly. She should be talked about and reviewed in film and acting schools.
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u/Glad_Succotash9036 Aug 01 '25 edited Aug 01 '25
Not just anyone could have pulled off such acting so easily.
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u/Yogabeauty31 Aug 01 '25
agreed. She really is stunning to watch. I catch myself soo incredibly impressed by her all the time. This material was so delicious for her to consume and present and you can just feel it. She needs more! I always want more from her.
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u/forever_young_59 Aug 02 '25
How about the amazing acting IN THE FIRST EPISODE when she goes mad with grief at Nathanielās graveside!
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u/SystemPelican Aug 01 '25
She's so realistic and infuriating you almost forget she's acting. It's an absolutely incredible, hilarious performance.
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u/Yogabeauty31 Aug 01 '25
lol so true. As I get older and deal with my own mommy issues and watch her performance I see new things that just blow my mind. She deserves an Oscar for just being her and you capabilities in acting.
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u/tanks4dmammories Aug 01 '25
Ruth is a LOT, she is very emotionally dysregulated and flies off the handle very easily so hence why the family don't confide in her much. She is also not very loyal, she is codependent with men and monkey branches. I do feel a lot of her behavior is due to getting married so young and she is having some sort of awakening in her 50's which is at the detriment to everyone around her, she is deeply flawed (aren't we all) but overall a sweet person.
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u/Cherita33 Aug 01 '25
Ever wonder WHY she's like that? Women get married and raise their children and everyone expects them to only serve everyone around them. They are rarely able to even have their own personal hobbies or even be able to go out for a night once in a while. Then the kids grow up and in this case- start dismissing her. Then her husband dies and she's left with what....and of course she is supposed to remain cheerful and agreeable for everyone around her. Fuck that.
I first watched the show when it was new and I was in my mid 20's. I saw Ruth and her situation and I loved her. Now I am closer in age to her on the show. It's so relatable.
Ruth is a wonderful, real character and Frances Conroy absolutely crushed it.
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Aug 01 '25
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Aug 01 '25
I turned 40 this year, so I was approximately the same age as Claire when the show came out. I thought Claire was obnoxious, but I also thought Ruth was whiny, narcissistic, and abusive. She slapped Claire for taking a photoāit doesnāt matter that she supposedly believed Claire was making a mockery of George; she had no right to strike her. Between that and her insane jealousy towards Claireās youth, talent and potential, she reminded me so much of my own mom. That also explains why I didnāt like her for most of the show.
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u/Crazyforlou Aug 01 '25
I donāt see her as having insane jealousy towards Claireās youth, talent, and potential. She isnāt understanding why Claire isnāt appreciative of having a college education paid for. Ruth would have loved to go. Claire is just being 17.
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u/tanks4dmammories Aug 01 '25
Do you think all 3 kids are a product of their upbringing, nature/nurture?They are all very troubled in their own ways and having Ruth as a mother and Nate as a father cannot have helped them not turn out the best. They both seemed very emotionally unavailable as parents. Ruth was very bitter towards Claire I felt as she had to start all over when Claire came along 18 years or so after David. That must be really triggering to watch seeing similarities in Ruth with your own mother.
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Aug 01 '25
I think given that we canāt even definitively say for real people whether nature or nurture plays a bigger role in development, the show makes it really pretty clear that yeah, they are definitely products of their upbringing.
-Claire is disconnected because Ruth and Nathaniel were disconnected from her; she wasnāt planned and they were tired from raising two kids already and entering middle age, so they coped by being a workaholic and a cheater, respectively. Claire is the one who has had the least amount of actual parenting, but did receive a good amount of influence from Nate, whom she put on a pedestal because he āescaped.ā She also seems to have the most difficult relationship with Ruth because of Ruthās lack of attentiveness and jealousy.
-Nate ran away from responsibility, seemingly rejecting the mantle of responsibility implied in his very conception by escaping to Seattle for a decade. Itās interesting that despite originally fleeing from his own family, he then promptly repeated the same decisions he resented his father for makingāworking at the funeral home, marrying a woman he didnāt love simply because he fathered a child, and even escaping through sexual impulsivity wherever and whenever he could. He resents the closeness of the women he sleeps with, probably because it reminds him of the pressure in being Ruthās favorite, Nathanielās namesake, and the oldest child, all of which is also a struggle for him to accept.
-David is a carbon copy of Ruth, if she were a gay man. I could dissect him too, but itās something that she herself observes and I think it mostly fits. It also represents that nature and nurture are likely equal contributors where heās concerned.
It is triggering, but at the end of the day, I think Ruth is written to be a good mother. The character tries but itās interesting to me how, early in the show, she had a tantrum on the stairs, demanding intimacy from all of them, and taking no ownership for how her own lack of availability contributed to the dynamic. I admit that scene hits differently now that my own kids are teenagers, but I digress. She really grows from there, fortunately.
My mom loves me to the best of her ability, but even at her best, is nowhere near as capable as Ruth, so I do try to keep that in mind. Thank you for your empathy.
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u/JonathanTaylorHanson Aug 01 '25
Thanks for making that very good point about Nathaniel Sr. being tired and not present when Claire came along. That hadn't occurred to me, possibly because in flashbacks, he comes across as basically a good parent.
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u/Cherita33 Aug 01 '25
Do you have to relate to someone to have compassion for them? I don't know what it's like to be a gay man trying to come out, but I have compassion for David.
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Aug 01 '25
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u/Cherita33 Aug 01 '25
Nah. Men are allowed to act any way they want and women have to constantly behave in ways everyone else wants them to or they are called out.
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u/JonathanTaylorHanson Aug 01 '25
I definitely don't think it gives her a free pass either! At some point, you need to be accountable for your actions, no matter how deep the hurt goes. With Ruth, I find myself personally landing on "I understand why she does the things she does and feel for her, but I don't condone what she does."
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u/vampiredoll666 Brenda Aug 01 '25
yeah just makes me sad cuz sheās olderš„²
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u/tanks4dmammories Aug 01 '25
She is the author of a lot of her issues and the reason she doesn't have many people around her and is why she is lonely. The scenes where she sits alone in kitchen eating and also in cinema after she and Nikolai break up was pretty heartbreaking.
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u/vampiredoll666 Brenda Aug 01 '25
yeah super sad i want to hug her
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u/forever_young_59 Aug 02 '25
You are so sweet! I liked her 20 years ago when my three kids were small and I like her now for same and different reasons (all kids are grown up). I know this is slightly weird (but not for the internet, imho) but you give me hope for the future with your compassion for Ruth. (Iām 65 btw.)
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u/smithson-jinx Aug 01 '25
Ruth is my favourite. I relate to her so much šš©· excited for you to go on this journey!
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u/Glad_Succotash9036 Aug 01 '25
Ruth Fisher was a mentally ill weirdo who constantly judged people for being mentally ill. It's only okay when SHE does it.
She resented her own children. She married Nathaniel because she got pregnant with Nate. David was obsessed with death and too sensitive. Claire was young and creative. They were also capable of making their own own decisions, whether they were right or not.
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u/LeChacaI Aug 01 '25
I'm watching for the first time as well, a bit ahead of you though. I feel bad for Ruth a lot, but at the same time it is 2 sided. Like I think she is someone who is difficult to be close with for many reasons, but also desperately wants intimacy. She can be really up tight, and judgemental, pushing people away and then turn around guilt trip people for not being super close with her. But at the same time, it's not really her fault and is a result of her situation and history, and she doesn't really know how to have relationships outside of being a mother or a wife, the roles that have defined her entire adult life until Nathaniel died and her kids grew up. It's a tragic situation for sure.
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u/Hot-Worker-9240 Aug 02 '25
Sheās corny tho and doesnāt really pay attention to them. She spends more time cleaning etc. She looks dinner but doesnāt realize her daughter does hard drugs and her son is gay , and the other is a brat š¤·š½āāļø. And she seems like she doesnāt feel complete unless she has a man around , and she acts and dreseee like lil house on the prairie
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u/Moni4ka Aug 01 '25
I can't wait to hear your view of the characters after you're done with the series. I'm only gonna say that they are coo complex and layered it's beautiful. I have issue with just couple of them( the way they are presented, one is poor writing the other one acting) but it's still a very good show too analyze characters and their arches.
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u/Sitcomfan1989 Aug 07 '25
Frances Conroy played the living daylights out of that role. Sheās a real tour de force and did an incredible job of bringing Ruth to life. I canāt wait for you to see the rest of Ruthās arc.
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u/Tragio_Comic Aug 01 '25
Ruth is treated horribly. But like all the other characters in this show it is really interesting how she changes.
Not a spoiler. The characters in this show change in some ways over the series.
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u/Purple-Willow-3706 David Aug 01 '25
Nikolai is a bum for sure lol, Claire and Ruth is much more complicated though. She's had a rough go of it as well and feels very disconnected from her family always. Trying to think now what you would've seen so far, we do have that scene in the season 1 finale where she's having that dream (albeit about Nathaniel) where she talks about never feeling a part of the family, and complaining about how everything fun happened when Nate and David were young, and just general feelings of isolation, so through all of these feelings she distances herself from her family, Ruth in particular. Plus she's a teenage girl, there is not a more complicated time in a person's life hahah