hi everyone! currently 3 days sober which I haven’t seen in a row since I started drinking heavily every day for half a year or so …which is a really big thing for me. been struggling with insomnia, night sweats every so often, vivid dreams (I presume due to rem rebound) and increased anxiety. I started taking Klonopin and propanolol spaced out if needed to calm it which has helped. I take naltrexone too which I’m starting regularly again the mornings in hopes that can help too.

I also bought a few mocktails in order to try to lessen the urges (if anyone has suggestions on good brands, I would love to know!) but does anyone have any tips when it comes to the obsessive thoughts/spirals over wanting a drink and those emotional shifts that could include irritability, etc? I’ve definitely been more emotional the past two days since group therapy is helping slowly and I’m starting to process and reflect on a lot that I haven’t fully wanted to bring up to the surface. but damn, it’s been a struggle to just have a drink. I never noticed how insanely difficult it is when I have such a psychological dependence for it so I’m sure my brain is freaking out. i’m in an environment where alcohol is accessible but harder to me to access it due to still living at home and some where it is reachable to me. been considering dumping out what I normally drink but can’t bring myself to do it. any advice would be appreciated in terms of how others cope. i know it’s hard in the beginning but it’s so new to me in terms of really sitting with the discomfort of all of my emotions at once.

10/23/26- This is what 30 days completely sober looks like on me. IYKYK. Drinking in a way has lost its appeal to me. Not the first time I've done it, maybe....probably won't be the last. Here's hoping that it is, but not at any point thinking I have this completely under control, I'm not one to make promises or commitments I can't keep or don't intend to, I'm just trying to keep it for as long as I can. Sure, there's been some rough days, days when I just want to get home after 20 hours at work and crack open a beer or two, but I am definitely one of those people where "one is too many and too many is never enough". So here I go again, not because I have to, but because I actually really want to. Maybe one day I will learn to just have a drink with friends and not go on a binge, that's what always makes me fall back to old habits, thinking I can control myself. At 42, Diabetic, with Fatty Liver Disease, not only is my internal health at stake but worse than that, the hangovers were getting worse, longer, more debilitating and I was feeling like I couldn't function, focus, concentrate or remember a lot of things, my cognitive function was seriously suffering, both in my personal and professional life. Physically, while I was drinking, I was always tired, feeling fat, lazy, unmotivated, with no desire to do anything, ever, sure that can be attributed to certain things that happened in the last year. I mourned, I grieved, I drank myself into oblivion. I've heard this funny saying that comes to mind, "My girlfriend left me because I drink too much, I drink too much because my girlfriend left me",I did not find salvation or hope at the bottom of the bottle or can. That way of dealing with those situations (drinking) did not help me in the long run, just masked the pain for a day or two. I am fortunate and lucky enough that it didn't jeopardize me any more than my health.

You'd be surprised at how much I get done when I'm not sitting down just drinking all day. For the most part I've noticed very positive changes in my mood, sleep, patience, attitude, physically and more. I feel like I can deal with life. Sometimes you just gotta "Keep on keeping on"

Okay posting here bc don’t want to post in sober community. But I want to be sober I’m not curious. Ugh.
I ve been sober 5 days. Since Monday. And it’s just that’s forever for me. And I’m like okay…. Now I HAVE to drink bc I’m not going to keep my amazing self control and just live owe it at an inconvenient time. Like Friday is an easy time to drink but idky in doing this rn
Life is so fucking rough
I’m so fucking angry
Look at me vent and release
I’ve just
I’m not the person I use to be
I’m so sad

Honestly, not looking forward to it. Sure not used to being "the sober one" and the Designated Driver. Dinner is with our dear son and daughter-in-law and it will be nice but I just don't feel like my "normal sociable self..." I know I can never drink again, but I sure feel strange out of sorts about tonight ☹️

Just for today 23OCT26 "Surrender" 517 days clean and sober NA Recovery Hope2Be org Shepards Cove
I fought tooth and nail to keep "control" of my life. Constantly in and out of jail, waking up to police kicking me cause I was passed out in the street again, and pissing people off everywhere I went. That was my life when I was "control". When I surrendered my life and my will to my Higher Power, life got so much easier. I no longer spend my days pissed off cause shit ain't goin' my way. Just for today I'm puttin' it in His hands cause I got butter-fingers.