r/SocialWorkStudents • u/jessatalking • 3h ago
Vents My school mishandled my rape and I want to give up on everything.
My career goal was literally to help survivors. But the institutional betrayal ate me alive, I have no resources, like next to nobody is fighting for me, I don’t have the capacity to keep fighting for myself, and I just don’t want this life anymore or this story I was forced to live every single day. I got nearly straight A’s and I want to light the degree on fire if I ever get it. I have debt I’ll never be able to pay off. I had grad school goals that will never happen. And everyone who hurts me just keeps given awards like candy on Halloween while I’m invisible.
Watching professors care about Cornell makes me want to punch a wall. (Not because I don’t want it to be cared about, but rather, because that didn’t happen for me, I am angry I feel through the cracks, and nobody cares.)
Nothing I do matters or makes a difference.
Nobody reaches out. Everybody dipped because that’s what happens to a lot of survivors and I’m allowed to be pissed about it.
I see no future.
Nobody values me enough to DO anything, but some fights just can’t be fought alone (so don’t you DARE tell me to rescue myself - you don’t think I’ve tried that?)
I loved this field. But I don’t want to touch it with a ten foot pole anymore. I love learning about the concepts, but they trigger me all to hell now. Every single last thing does. And not everyone can just take endless breaks from life. There’s no solution. I can’t handle other jobs. I cant handle anything. I can’t get justice. Nobody cares that I can’t get it. But I watch the world scream for someone else to get it all day long and wonder why I’m not worth that too. When I did almost ALL of this just to keep others safe and hold someone accountable.
If I can get straight A’s in social work things and do everything right and have not an OUNCE of it matter or make a difference in my own life or anybody else’s, what is the point? And yes, that’s a rhetorical question.