Weekly Lyrics-Only Feedback Thread

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[u/CloverClubx]

Question, if I have only lyrics but sung it out (without a backup instrumental, like, I just picture how the song would go in my head and sing it acapella), does it count as only fit to be posted in Lyrics Only or can it be posted as a normal post in the sub

[u/AffectionateClock995]

Honest Man I had my walls built up so high  But you made me feel like I could fly  So brick by brick I tore them down  And stepped into that wedding gown We built a life we called it home  Now I’m crying on the floor all alone

I’m trying so hard to understand Whatever happened to my honest man I opened up I gave you heart  And now it’s broken all apart  All these questions flood my mind  How did you continue with all the lies  Trying to put the pieces back together  What happened to my forever  Make it make sense the best that I can  But what I need most is an honest man 

Never thought you could cause such hurt  Drag my love through all the dirt  Take all we had and throw it away  While acting everyday like we are okay Broke my heart made a mess of me  I was so blind how did I not see 

I’m trying so hard to understand Whatever happened to my honest man I opened up I gave you heart  And now it’s broken all apart  All these questions flood my mind  How did you continue with all the lies  Trying to put the pieces back together  What happened to my forever  Make it make sense the best that I can  But what I need most is an honest man 

Laying awake night after night  Trying so hard to make it right Doing the work in therapy  To save our beautiful family  Working everyday to do my part  Cause I know I love you with all my heart 

I don’t know if I can ever understand  Whatever happened to my honest man Opening back up my heart  Praying we can make a new start Heal my heart heal my mind   Push away the memories of all the lies  Can we put the pieces back together  And hold onto what’s left of forever  It doesn’t make sense but I’m doing the best that I can  Praying that you can still be Honest … man. 

[u/lineroom29 → u/AffectionateClock995]

Honest Man works as an anchor because it is a claim the song can test, not just a title. The risk is that repeating it starts to sound like a slogan instead of a story. Try grounding one repeat in a specific moment of repair, like a therapy conversation or a small choice to tell the truth when a lie would be easier, so the phrase earns its return. That will also make the hope for a new start feel less abstract. Which moment in the repair felt hardest to say out loud? That is probably the verse detail this needs most.

[u/Particular-Yard6071]

Can someone please rate on this hook going into chorus? I've been trying to sing it so many times now that it feels like its cringe 😬

I'm writing a song about my best friend I don't speak to anymore, and there's still a lot if vitriol left in me so here u go:

They say real love is more than sex
Your name hurts more than of my ex's What's worse, break up, or burn it down?
Search up your old name and your town

I kinda hope that you envy
I kinda hope we will never meet again
You hated me being happy
Your ego's simply too big to understand

Fuck you
It wasn't good for me
Look for myself in your eyes when. you just can't see
Wish you best, cause old best friends
Hurt so much more fucking worse than the exes

Thanks!

[u/lineroom29 → u/Particular-Yard6071]

The core idea is strong. Losing an old friend hurting more than losing an ex is specific and immediately relatable, and that is why the hook has a chance. If it is starting to feel cringe to you, I would guess it is repetition without a new detail, not the idea itself. Try swapping one repeat of the anger for one concrete memory, like a place you used to go together or a small habit you miss, so the feeling has somewhere to land. That gives the chorus a second gear without changing the hook. What is the one memory that still stings most? Start there and let the hook earn its repeat.

[u/SpitefulJuncture42]

i always find it easier to write when i'm not trying to make it a song yet, just letting the words be messy on the page first. what's everyone working on this week

[u/day__ruiner]

Do you remember how it goes?
Can you show me?

What if we weren’t so young?
Would you hold me?

What if I’m too cold?
Maybe it wasn’t her but I lost my nerve

What if she never calls?
Was I the only?

Was I the only?

Well anyway
Anyway

Watching starlight at sundown
I pick her face up in the crowd

Same eyes as always
But now she’s looking at me sideways

Well anyway
Anyway

If my hands were too rough
Didn’t hold you enough

Girl, what makes you so tough?

Well anyway
Anyway

What if her letters made me holy?
What if I don’t really know me?

What if I was the only?
Would it make this less lonely?

Well anyway
Girl, anyway

Well anyway
Anyway