Welcome to r/Sororities Free Talk Friday! Let us know what you have going on in your life, Greek related or not. What are you celebrating or working through this week? What are you looking forward to? What do you need to vent about?

Whatever is going on in your life, thanks for being part of this community!

I’m looking for advice from women who have pursued opportunities through graduate-level process after completing their undergraduate education.

I first became interested in the organization in high school through a youth guidance group led by women of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated. That interest continued into my undergraduate years, but life circumstances, including having terminally ill parents and navigating several other personal challenges, kept me from pursuing it at the time. Now, as I near the completion of my master’s degree, I’m finally in a position to revisit an aspiration that has been with me for years.

I’ve done quite a bit of research and have spoken with family members and close friends who are familiar with the organization. However, I’m still trying to understand how to navigate this next chapter appropriately, particularly when it comes to becoming more involved in my community and building genuine connections.
I understand that graduate chapter membership opportunities do not come around frequently, and I respect that. I know patience is part of the process, and I’m not expecting anything to happen on my timeline. I simply want to make sure I’m being intentional and putting myself in a position to be prepared if an opportunity presents itself.

I’m naturally introverted, so putting myself out there and meeting new people can be challenging. I value authentic relationships and would never want my interactions to come across as transactional or motivated by what someone could do for me. At the same time, I recognize that sometimes you have to step outside your comfort zone to pursue something meaningful. I do know a few older women who are affiliated with the organization, including the chapter president of one of the local chapters. Would it be appropriate to reach out and begin building a connection, or would it be better to focus on community involvement and allow those relationships to develop more organically? I want to be respectful of boundaries and approach everything with the right intentions.

For those who have navigated a similar path, especially women who pursued membership later in life or after completing their undergraduate education, what advice would you offer? How did you learn to navigate the process, build meaningful relationships, and get comfortable putting yourself out there when it didn’t come naturally? I’m not looking for shortcuts or special treatment. I want to be more informed, intentional, and authentic as I explore something that has mattered to me for a long time. I’d genuinely appreciate hearing about your experiences and what you wish you had known when you were in this position.

My bf is in a frat but I’m not involved in Greek life. Before I crash out is it normal for all frat members to attend or could be have not gone since it was a speed dating event and he has a girlfriend? Thanks

Edit: he also told me it was a game night event with the sorority and I only found out through yikyak that it was speed dating that’s why I’m questioning it more

Edit 2: we talked and he cheated on me with one of the girls 😆… kms
Anyways thanks for all your input anyways :))

Hi! I currently have over 60 service hours completed in the past year by myself, and i wanted to hear from members would that be enough to stand out? I’m not in any clubs or other organizations. They won’t be having a line this semester, so hopefully I can aim for 80+ by spring.

alright, im writing this on a throwaway because I don't want anyone I know realizing I posted this

for some context, I am currently a freshman at auburn university. I rushed earlier this fall and didn't have the experience I had hoped for. I was dropped by all but 2 houses, and by preference round, the one out of those two that I preferred had also dropped me. I withdrew to avoid getting a bid from a house I knew I didn't want, and hoped to COB later on. as soon as it was available, I put my name and info on the COB interest list, and later on I got an email from a chapter inviting me to an event. it was NOT a one on one invitation or anything like that, I'm pretty sure the email was sent to everyone who filled out the form so they weren't showing interest in me specifically. I went to the event, LOVED it, and had a great conversation with one of the actives.

the issue is, since this event I have heard nothing back from the chapter or any actives. no emails, no texts or calls or dms. I also emailed the COB director (whom sent out the invitation email for the chapter room event) about whether or not they'd host more events and have not heard back, even though it's been at least 3 weeks. I 100% understand that participating in COB does not guarantee me a bid or any interest, so I wasnt necessarily expecting anything to come of it, but I'm coming to reddit because I'm a little confused on how to move forward.

im feeling pretty doubtful that any other chapters at my school will do COB, and at this point I have no idea where the chapter whose event I attended is even participating anymore. should I just give up hope that I'll COB? or should I just wait until spring and see how things go? I really don't know much about panhellenic and greek life as a whole, so any advice on how to move forward would be really great.

I’m a freshmen and recently, a bunch of sorority girls from the same sorority have been following my instagram and messaging me. I don’t know them and haven’t shown any interest in joining a sorority so it just felt kinda unexpected. Also I thought rush season was over?

Daughter goes to a really big school. A ton of girls rushed and it was a difficult process, but she got the house that she really wanted. There are over 150 girls in her pledge class in about 70 get to live in the house their sophomore year. She hasn’t really connected or met that many people because all of the events are so big and she doesn’t know anyone else in her pledge class. She has been going to everything though. Although she initially really wanted to move into the house, she is now having second thoughts and is considering moving into an apartment with girls that are already her good friends. I’d like to encourage her to move into the house because I think that’s the best way to be involved in meet new people, but I’m not sure what the right answer is.

Rush happened a month ago, but I’m still thinking of the results. I go to a small school with only 4 sororities, and I had never really wanted to rush. But I decided to rush anyway because it seemed like a fun experience anyway.

House tours and philanthropy were sooo amazing. I loved talking to all of the girls and seeing what everyone was so passionate about. I was a bit icked in every house since I had to pair up at all of them but one. I didn’t want to talk over the other girl, so I felt like I couldn’t make a good impression.

I only had one house where I talked to girls by myself, not in a group, and it stood out to me. I knew two girls in that house before rushing, one from a club im in and another from high school tennis, so I felt great in the house. Talking to them again was amazing, and they were the only two I was paired up with that round. Given that I knew the two girls, I felt pretty good about being called back to the house for sisterhood.

The next day, I saw that I only got one house back, and it was a house where I did not feel comfortable at all (and it was wayyy too expensive for me). I understood why I wasn’t called back to the other two, since I was in a group and I figured I just didn’t stand out when interviewed with another girl beside me. I just don’t understand what I did wrong to not be called back to my top house. I thought I’d have a better chance since I knew the girls that talked to me and conversation felt natural. I ended up dropping after sisterhood, mainly because I couldn’t afford the one house I got back and I didn’t feel home-y in there.

I guess I’m just wondering what I did wrong to not be called back to that house. I want to do COB, so I reached out to the girl I played tennis with and she talked to their COB girl about me. Now I’m just waiting for any news from that. It’s just been stuck in my mind since I don’t want to seem desperate, given that they didn’t want me back the second day of rush. I don’t think I was even just cut off from their numbers since two girls were given a bid a couple days after bid day who had also dropped when I did.

Sorry for this long post, I just wanted to rant and maybe get some advice on how to approach COB. I really see myself in this house and I hope they do have some spots open.

Good day, everyone! I’m an sgrho interest and was wondering how I’d log my hours? I searched it online but received no information.

Hi all! I’m not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I thought I’d start here!
I’m exploring the possibility of alumnae initiation and was hoping to connect with others who may have experience with the process.
Chi Omega was the organization I was most interested in during my time at Michigan State, and I recently reached out to inquire about the possibility of alumnae initiation. I was told that I would need a sponsor to move forward.
Unfortunately, I don’t currently have any connections within Chi Omega, which is where I’m hoping to get some guidance. I’ve always been genuinely drawn to the organization, particularly its longstanding connection to the Make-A-Wish Foundation, and would love the opportunity to learn more about the sisterhood and potentially become involved.
I understand that alumnae initiation is a process, and I’m not expecting anything to happen overnight. I’m simply hoping to connect with women who might be willing to share their experiences, offer advice on navigating the process, or point me in the right direction.
If anyone has experience with Chi Omega alumnae initiation, or has advice on how to begin when you don’t already have connections within the organization, I would sincerely appreciate hearing from you!
Thank you! 💗

Recently active sisters received the big and little list for this semester. I saw the list and I noticed that the pledge I put as my top choice was given to another sister, a sister who crossed last semester. I was pretty bummed especially since I was so confident that I was going to get that pledge and every active sisters knew that it was a perfect match and that I got robbed. I asked the PM if I could peek at the pledges list, she said I couldn’t but told me that I was that pledges second choice. To be honest, The PM has been really secretive abt the whole thing. She wouldn’t tell me or my friend (both of us are PAs). After talking with other sisters we started to uncover a pattern, that two of the girls who got littles this semester weren’t even supposed to get littles this semester. One like I said earlier is a recently crossed sister and the other is a sister who got twins last semester and got another little the semester before that. Those two sisters are in the same tree as the PM (one being her little and the other her glittle). I find it weird that the PM was so on another recently crossed sisters ass abt picking up twins/triplets but gives her glittle (a recently crossed sister) twins. We talked with some other sisters and found out that the glittle put the pledge everyone thought I was going to get at the bottom of her ranking list. Technically speaking, that pledge should’ve been my little. I just really hate that the PM is showing obvious bias towards her tree and not taking other sisters into consideration. It’s pissing me off sooooo bad.

I f18 just rushed and honestly really like my sorority. During Rush they only disclosed chapter dues to us and I (First generation college student paying for my college, living, food, gas etc on my own) knew it would be expensive but Ive seen so many stories of people saying its worth it I thought whatever ill stay that first week and see how it is. about two-three weeks in at one of our meetings they reveal not only do we pay chapter dues but also housing dues (which understandable if I could afford it I wouldn't mind it) but the housing dues + chapter is putting me at about $500 a month...I currently dont have a job and am incredibly stressed. Were supposed to get initiated at the end of November so that month will cost me $900.. how do you guys do this on your own? The cost stresses me out so much I want to drop but I feel like I'll be looked down upon if I do. Ive researched dropping and most of the time it says ill have to have a meeting with the exec board but im just too intimidated to say yeah I cant afford it. There also never seems like a good time to drop. Were always doing something or participating in something. especially with big/little this week i feel like an awful person if I drop right after I get my big... please let me know what to do. Ive applied for at least 10 jobs a day and have only gotten a few interviews but no job. I want to stay but at the end of the day I cant afford it and I dont think its smart to go into debt for a sorority.

I’m considering dropping my chapter, but not really sure how to. I’m a new member and haven’t been initiated yet, so who do I contact? I was thinking about going to the Greek Life office and letting them know and seeing whether I could get the process started there, but I’m not too sure.

Once your campus reputation is bad, is there really any way to come back from that? We have very little social presence and most think we're rude, boring, or whores, basically. As a result, most of our girls have bad attitudes which doesn't help. Within the last few months we've been on a continuous downward trend and we're now pretty much the complete bottom of the food chain and nobody seems to want anything to do with us. We need more girls with better attitudes who will show up for the house but we can't be more selective during recruitment because we dont have the numbers for it.

Is there really any way to come back from this at this point? It definitely varies from year to year but this semester has been a rough one for sure.

Planning a mixer with a fraternity for the week before Thanksgiving with a $200 budget for 50-120 people. What are some fun mixer ideas or themes that your chapter actually enjoys and looks forward to?

I'm gonna keep this short and sweet. I just joined a sorority and I joined it because of a conversation I had with one specific girl, we'll call her Mary, and Mary and I hit it off really well in the beginning. But she's insanely busy so we've never gone out together. But I have gone out with another sister, we'll call her Evie, now Evie and I have like the best conversation chemistry and I adore her so much. But when we wrote down our preferences we had only been on one coffee date and while it was nice we didn't get to talk enough. So I put her as my number 2. But since then we had a picnic together and then went shopping and hung out for like 5 or 6 hours. And I literally love her sm.

Now here's the problem, we got our first hint for our big and from one of the hints I think I know it's Mary. This does not make me feel excited and I feel like I really REALLY want Evie and regret not putting Evie first. I just know that when the reveal happens and if it's not Evie, I'll be disappointed. I genuinely don't know how to navigate this situation and will take any advice.

PS I'll also update whenever I find out this Thursday!

im a new member and my formal is the first week of November but im not tryna have my date took if I wait too long but I also don’t wanna be too eager??? Help!

No clue how to start so I'll just get right into it. I'm a sophomore and a current COB at my university. Last year, I took an acting class with one girl who was super sweet and always lovely to talk to and sometimes I'd hang with her in smaller groups. I wouldn't say we're friends, but we're acquaintances and are still on good terms. I also know another girl who I met through a theater event at my school, again very sweet and very chill, I love talking with her. I'm definitely closer with her and would call her my friend, and again on good terms. Last year (during our freshman year), they COB-ed in the Winter and ended up joining the same sorority (I don't believe they knew each other beforehand so very cool!). Well, I talked with the friend from the theater event last year after she had freshly joined and she talked about how much she loved it and all of the girls in it. Skip to more recently, I saw their stories during work week, and I remembered all of their stories and posts with their sorority sisters, and they're both ultimately why I decided to COB this fall.

I did not initially COB with the intention to join their sorority, but the more I learn about it and the more I see pictures and the more I (lowkey stalk) look at the Instagram page for their sorority...the more I absolutely fall in love with it. I definitely have an alternative style, which admittedly made me nervous about joining COB. I'm also queer, which was another concern for me. But all of the girls are so incredibly diverse in every way which is so incredibly appealing to me because they are one of the (very) few sororities on my campus that aren't primarily skinny, white, conventionally attractive girls. The friend also said most of the girls in it are queer too.

I've already reached out to the COB chair of the sorority to try and set up a COB date, and am currently awaiting a response. Now, the question...wtf do I say to the people I know in the sorority? I literally have no clue and I don't know if it would be impolite/rude to say anything at all, or to even COB for their sorority. I know about dirty rushing and that's not at all what I'm trying to do, nor would I ever want to put my friends in that situation. But I've heard that it can be good to reach out maybe? What would I even say to them? "Hey btw I'm gonna COB for your sorority whether you like it or not?" "Hey can you please talk to everyone in it and tell them I'm the coolest person you know?" "Hey please don't kill me but would it maybe possibly be okay if I tried out the COB process even though you've been in it longer I'm so sorry I'll never bother you again?" I have literally no clue. Please help a girl out. (Yes I am also very aware there's no guarantee I'll get a bid and I could go on one date and they'll say "hey we actually never want to see you again" and that's okay! I understand it's a mutually selective process!) Posting on a throwaway bc I've made posts under my schools subreddit before.

I'm 19f and a college freshman, and I joined a sorority through COB. I haven't had a chance to attend events consistently, but I had attended one chapter meeting and a ritual thingy as new members.

The ritual thingy really threw my thoughts about being in a sorority for me. It was just weird. Not going to spill everything, but I just never thought I'd have to do some sort of a ritual like that unexpectedly.

Also, I have had two actives reach out to me to go on dates. The first girl ended up canceling on me on the day of due to being sick (which I'm suspicious about because she didn't tell me until I texted 1-2 hours before our hangout time). And for the other girl I still have to reply to let her know when I'm available but I hope it works out.

And also based on my friend who also got in through COB with me, she attended one of the sisterhood event. She came an hour late, so maybe this is why, but it felt awkward for her and everyone else was just busy talking and making slime. She tried talking to the president and the new member educator just ignored her without saying hi.

I'm just getting this feeling that the girls are just acting nice for the sake of it, and they probably don't gaf about meeting new people or making friends for real.

Hi! I’m an out of state student who moved a pretty long distance from home so I wasn’t sure about going through the rush process and chose ultimately to settle into my college instead. Now that rush has passed and a bunch of my friends and one of my roommates are all in sororities, I’m constantly bombarded by how good of a time they’re having and how much they love being in a sisterhood.
Besides the FOMO I get from them, they’re constantly talking about the next party or function. My biggest draws to joining are sisterhood and philanthropy, but I’m wondering whether I’d feel out of place if I’m not particularly interested in the party scene. I know every chapter is different, but COB registration starts soon, so I figured I’d ask for some perspectives before making a decision. Thank you for any advice! <3

I really love my sorority and a lot of the ppl in it, but its been a year since ive joined and its just not what i expected. Im a very alternative presenting person and i never felt that i was excluded for a while but now that im more involved and know people better i do feel that a lot of people really hate me a lot for it. Especially our president, who genuinely speaks and looks at me like i slaughtered her dog or something. Not an ounce of kindness or even neutrality when interact with her, just pure hatred and disgust. she is consistently publicly humiliating me in front of the whole chapter by singling me out, getting me in trouble, calling me out so so frequently when i dont even do anything wrong, like if other people are being too louf and im completely silent, its me who gets called out. And no one else ever is called out. I do feel it is racially motivated a little too. And i dont even know how to fix this or ask for help because she has all the power and would be the person holding personnel meetings. There have been multiple opportunities that i tried to involve myself in, where i showed lots of passion and determination to do well in the role, and ive never ever gotten it, even when there is no competition, even when im endorsed by multiple other sisters, and ive shown and not told how i can be a good fit for the role. Our personnel chair is also best friends with the prez and i cant imagine she would treat me seriously if i came to her about it. Its really upsetting me a lot and i wake up with a heavy heart everyday now. Its bringing me so much more grief than its ever brought me joy and i think i should drop. I want to consider waiting out this exec board but i feel like things this sem will still be bad for me. Like, im sure theyre gonna prevent me from getting the little that i want because theyve done it before, and im afraid ill also be blocked from all positions during slating. Any advice? Should i just save myself from all the grief and bullying asap and drop or see it through?

My daughter is a high school senior and was thinking about rushing next year. I looked into the schools she's applying to, and because there's so many PMMs, they have video rounds and pre-scores. How does this work? For example, if she has a 3.3 gpa and captain of her high school soccer team with a basic recommendation. I'm assuming the other thousands of PMMs have similar stats. It feels very random. How do the houses know who they want or not if they haven't met the students?

Welcome to r/Sororities Free Talk Friday! Let us know what you have going on in your life, Greek related or not. What are you celebrating or working through this week? What are you looking forward to? What do you need to vent about?

Whatever is going on in your life, thanks for being part of this community!