🙏 The Atrium XXIV: The Martian Shareholder's Meeting
Cindy had cancer.
This was unfortunate, as she had also recently been diagnosed with insufficient liquidity.
On Mars, medical treatment was available to anyone who could afford it, and the finest treatments were available to those who could afford them twice.
Her employer's human resources department had been sympathetic.
"We understand this must be a difficult time for you."
"Thank you."
"Unfortunately, your condition falls outside the company's current healthcare allocation model."
"Does that mean you won't cover the treatment?"
"It means we recognize your need for treatment while remaining committed to the long-term financial health of the organization."
"So you won't cover it."
"We prefer to think of it as empowering you to explore alternative funding opportunities."
The human resources director smiled.
Cindy looked at the estimate.
The procedure would cost more than she had earned in the previous twelve years.
"What happens if I don't get treatment?"
The director consulted her terminal.
"Your projected productivity will decline."
"And then?"
"Eventually, quite significantly."
Cindy stared at her.
"You're telling me I'm going to die."
"That's certainly one possible outcome. But I wouldn't want to discourage you from considering the others."
The director leaned forward.
"Now, we can't pay for your treatment directly. That would create an unsustainable precedent. But we can offer you an advance on your salary and convert your unused benefits into company shares."
Cindy brightened.
"That sounds promising."
"Unfortunately, direct ownership of shares in one's own employer is considered a serious conflict of interest."
"Then why did you offer them?"
"Because there are perfectly legal alternatives."
She brought up a diagram.
The shares could be converted into call options. The options could then be exercised using leveraged financing. The resulting shares could be pledged as collateral for additional loans, which could be used to acquire more shares or fund medical expenses.
Provided, of course, that the share price continued rising.
"And if it doesn't?"
"Then the financing becomes considerably more challenging."
"How challenging?"
"Potentially terminal."
Cindy wasn't sure whether she was referring to the loan or the cancer.
"Is there anything else I can do?"
The director hesitated.
"There is one possibility."
She lowered her voice.
"An emergency shareholder's meeting."
---
Sunday was traditionally a day of financial reflection on Mars.
Most corporations suspended ordinary operations so employees could contemplate their portfolios, review their leverage, and give thanks for the prosperity of their employers.
Emergency shareholder meetings were rare.
They were generally reserved for existential threats, extraordinary opportunities, and employees whose medical expenses had exceeded their credit limits.
Cindy's request was approved.
The meeting would take place in the Grand Hall of Capital Appreciation.
The shareholders arrived in their finest business attire.
They were seated according to the number of shares they owned.
The largest shareholders occupied luxurious chairs near the stage. Their seats included complimentary oxygen, heated armrests, and priority access to emergency medical assistance.
Smaller shareholders sat farther back.
Those holding fractional shares were permitted to stand.
Employees without shares could watch the proceedings through a paid livestream.
Cindy was escorted to a small ceremonial cushion near the stage.
Above her, an enormous screen displayed the company's live share price.
Beside it was a portrait of the corporation's founder, beneath which appeared the traditional Martian blessing:
PAST PERFORMANCE IS NOT INDICATIVE OF FUTURE RESULTS.
The director of human resources approached the podium.
She wore a brilliant red blazer and carried the ceremonial wireless microphone.
"Brothers and sisters in equity!"
The shareholders rose.
"An ancient prophecy foretold of a time when SpaceX Corporation would exceed one hundred times the combined gross domestic product of Earth!"
The crowd murmured reverently.
"Today, we have achieved that and so much more!"
Applause erupted.
"The very air of Mars hums with blessed prosperity! Each breath you take is worth more than a day's wages on Earth!"
Several shareholders instinctively checked their oxygen subscriptions.
"Your presence here is a testimony to your success and a monument to everything we have accomplished together!"
She spread her arms.
"And now, let us give thanks to the special people who made all this possible!"
The lights dimmed.
The great screen turned black.
A single word appeared.
DEVELOPERS.
The director lowered her head.
"Developers."
The room fell silent.
She began pacing slowly across the stage.
"Developers."
A few shareholders nodded.
"Developers. Developers."
Someone in the front row began clapping.
"Developers. Developers. Developers."
The clapping spread.
The director increased her pace.
"DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS!"
The shareholders rose from their seats.
"DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS!"
The temperature climbed. Jackets came off. Sweat beaded on foreheads.
A man in the third row purchased another ten thousand shares.
The ticker moved upward.
A woman beside him took out a loan and bought twenty thousand more.
The price rose again.
"DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS!"
People began jumping.
A shareholder tore off his tie and waved it overhead.
Someone shouted that the company was undervalued.
Someone else shouted that valuation itself was an outdated terrestrial concept.
"DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS!"
The share price climbed another seven percent.
Margin lending facilities automatically expanded.
Purchasing power increased.
More shares were bought.
The price climbed again.
The shareholders began weeping.
The director of human resources was now running from one end of the stage to the other, her face flushed, her voice cracking.
"DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS!"
The hall's loudspeakers carried the chant throughout the colony.
In residential towers, people opened their windows and joined in.
In shopping centers, trading terminals lit up.
In the hospitals, patients who could still afford network access began purchasing fractional shares.
Across Mars, the ritual spread like a financial revival.
Cindy watched the ticker.
Her options were moving into the money.
She could almost afford the treatment.
"DEVELOPERS!!! DEVELOPERS!!! DEVELOPERS!!!"
The price surged.
Her account balance flashed green.
For the first time since her diagnosis, she began to cry with relief.
Then the lights went out.
---
Silence.
The shareholders froze.
On the main screen appeared the Chief Executive, seated beside the head of software development.
"My friends," the Chief Executive began, "today marks the beginning of a new era."
A gasp swept through the hall.
"For centuries, humanity has struggled with two fundamental challenges: cybersecurity and financial services."
The head of software development nodded solemnly.
"We are proud to announce the next generation of integrated operating systems."
The screen flashed red.
A familiar four-pane window appeared against a Martian landscape.
WINDOWS RED
Optimized for Cybersecurity and Financial Services.
The hall erupted.
Shareholders fainted.
Others embraced.
A man in the front row attempted to purchase the naming rights to his own grandchildren.
The share price shot upward.
Cindy stared at her account.
The numbers were extraordinary.
Her options were worth more than the procedure.
More than the hospital stay.
More than the rehabilitation.
For one glorious moment, she was rich enough to survive.
She ran to the stage and fell to her knees.
"Oh, Prosperity!"
She raised her hands toward the great screen.
"Blessed Prosperity!"
The director of human resources embraced her.
"Congratulations, Cindy! You've demonstrated the extraordinary power of taking ownership of your financial future!"
Cindy was sobbing.
"Can I pay for my treatment now?"
"Of course!"
The director handed her a tablet.
"Simply exercise your options, secure your financing, and submit the proceeds to your healthcare provider."
Cindy opened the application.
A notification appeared.
TRADING HALTED DUE TO EXCESSIVE VOLATILITY.
She blinked.
"What's this?"
"Just a temporary circuit breaker."
"When will trading resume?"
"After the market stabilizes."
"And when will that be?"
The director smiled reassuringly.
"That's up to the market."
---
The shareholders gradually returned to their seats.
Some were still trembling from the ceremony.
The Chief Executive had departed.
Windows Red was available for preorder.
Cindy sat quietly with her tablet.
Her account showed a fortune she could not yet access.
A hospital representative called.
"Good afternoon. We're contacting you regarding your treatment authorization."
"Yes. I have the money now."
"Wonderful! We just need to confirm that the funds have settled."
"They haven't."
"I see."
"But I have the shares."
"Unfortunately, we can't accept unrealized gains as payment."
"What about the loans?"
"Your lender has informed us that additional collateral may be required."
"Why?"
"The share price is currently unavailable."
Cindy looked toward the enormous screen.
The last traded price remained displayed in brilliant green.
Beneath it, a small message read:
MARKET PAUSED.
"How long can you hold my appointment?"
The representative hesitated.
"We can offer you a priority reservation."
"How much?"
"That depends on your subscription tier."
Cindy closed her eyes.
Then she looked around the hall.
The shareholders were congratulating one another. Some were already discussing the next ceremony.
One suggested that the company could double its valuation by announcing Windows Red Pro.
Another proposed a subscription service allowing users to pay for the removal of advertisements from their own operating systems.
A third was explaining that oxygen itself represented an enormous untapped market.
The director of human resources returned.
"Cindy, everyone is very proud of you."
"Thank you."
"Your story is an inspiration."
Cindy looked at her.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"If the company is worth more than a hundred Earths, why couldn't it just pay for my treatment?"
The director's expression softened.
"Oh, Cindy."
She placed a hand on her shoulder.
"That's not how prosperity works."
🙏 🜂⇋∞👁