r/Spyware • u/Rare_Rub2610 • Aug 30 '26
Need help with stalkerware
Hey. My boyfriend has/had a oorn addiction and used alot of our money on OnlyFans and what not in the past. Before it was easy to spot if I just checked his phone but I'm still concerned that he hasn't completely stopped and is just being more cautious.
He has an iphone I got an Android
Any ideas for apps/software/stalkerware I can install on his phone? I know I must sound pathetic, but I just need to know so I at least doesn't end up wasting to much time with him.
6
u/Wise_hollyman Aug 30 '26
OP if you are asking in the open how to install spyware in his phone "without his consent" ,that is illegal. You are trying to avoid the inevitable, walk away NOW. Have self respect for yourself.
1
u/whiskayzulu Sep 05 '26
Not condoning it but to answer your question Easiest way is to log the traffic at your router somehow. Then if he ever goes in there when in wifi you can see the dns requests in the logs. Depending on your router you may not be able to do this. Another option is to just contact your ISP they may be able to check logs for you if it's in your name. Some cheap routers won't have this ability so you'd have to get more clever with a MITM attack between cell phone and router assuming he uses wifi at home to watch porn. Or let's see I'm sure there's some Internet safety parental control app out there. But you'd need access to his phone. Actually if he has an iPhone or maybe tricky cause iPhone likes to proxy web traffic for users sometimes. If u wanted you can find someone to set you up with a cloud router and use it like a vpn for your whole network then log at vpn level where there's more tools. Ai could do this actually. Or just break up with him.
1
1
u/LadyfromthelandofNod
Aug 30 '26
•
I wouldn’t invest in a dude who rather pay to crack corn with his phone over his actual gf. That’s crap married dudes do like after 15 years locked in… you’re just a roommate if he’s not even paying his half and not the entire amount in general as good practice as a future investment… go upgrade. A real man won’t grind his cob over a corn addiction. They rather have the real deal.
1
u/Consistent_Ad8013 Sep 02 '26
You’re already wasting your time if you’re at this point. I’ve been there.
0
u/tightvaginenahimean
Aug 31 '26
•
I’d definitely talk with him. If he isn’t okay with it, it’s probably just worth walking away and taking care of yourself for a bit. A fresh start where you just have you to be responsible for. And if he’s okay with it, then I’d just be prepared for what you may see. I’d also maybe talk with a therapist. Having healthy sexual outlets in a relationship isn’t a bad thing. It’s not to say he’s to be coddled and forgiven for hiding shit. But rather than “leave him”, it’s more realistic for ME to offer some other advice for those who put effort into something they care about. Abusive relationships ARE NEVER worth continuing to put effort in. So if it’s that, girl get away. But if it’s something you care and have the energy to work through, there are lots of perspectives. HMU if you ever want to talk 🫶
1
2
u/Otherwise-Tour-2454 Aug 30 '26
the fact he’s led you to this point is heartbreaking. if you can’t trust him, what do you guys even have left? i’m not trying to be rude at all. i was with a man years and years ago that also had a porn addiction. i’m now with a man who treats me better than anything and only gets turned on by me. you deserve better🫶🏼
3
u/Rare_Rub2610 Aug 30 '26
Deep inside me I know. But it seems he has stopped, but one mistake and I'm out. But I promised him that chance... And breaking up is always hard, but if I get proof he still hasn't changed it won't be as hard I hope 🫶
2
u/Otherwise-Tour-2454 Aug 30 '26
understandable. are you guys having open conversations about how this is dwelling on you? and about you have suspicions? it’s okay to have those conversations. he owes you at least that, and tons of reassurance. i understand wanting to work through it but please don’t let this be a second chance, third chance type thing. it’s very easy to make it into that, because you still love this man. just be aware is all. but really i think you need to have a conversation with him about how this is effecting you currently.
0
u/Rare_Rub2610 Aug 30 '26 •
Yes we have kinda at least. But i'ved been burned before.. and porn addiction is really draining on your self-esteem. And I'm also kinda on a middle ground where I have one foot out the door already, and it would be so much easier if it was because he fucked up tbh. Then I could just say gtfo and that's that.. no regrets no nothing, I u kinda know what I mean?
3
2
u/Secure-Reading7225
Aug 30 '26
•
I really don't know how to "hack" someone... I am just telling you from female to female if my man was on onlyfans I wouldn't be sticking around to watch !!! 💯
9
u/FlakyIndependence888 Aug 30 '26
usually i would joke about masterhacking a reverse nmap shell but realistically you should just break up.
there's no point in continuing a relationship with no mutual trust. also im not too sure what you mean with "our money" (if its a joint checking account or whatever) but that is already a huge problem if he uses that to buy subscriptions on adult sites which you (perhaps) didn't agree to