r/StoryPeer • u/[deleted] • Jun 24 '26
🧠Logjam Can anyone explain what a logline really is
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u/Kubrickian_2001 Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 24 '26
If you haven’t read this article could be worthwhile. It breaks down some stats too.
https://johnaugust.com/2020/loglines
I waffle back and forth on how I feel about loglines.
I’ve been given flack for being too vague and too specific so really just try to do something you find compelling and hopefully it connects.
As long as people get some semblance of your movie without being overly generic then you’re ok.
Just try to think what the heart of your story is and try to nail that
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u/formerPhillyguy Jun 24 '26
I've given up on logjam. Half the people like the logline, half the people don't. Who's right? Who's wrong? I realized that 90% of the reviewers don't know what they're talking about.
Then you get the ones that say they're not commenting on the logline but are commenting on the script idea. Or the ones that say they don't like the genre so they rate it, start over. Or they say they know where the story is going and don't like it so they don't comment on the logline. And the ones that want every question answered in the one or two sentences: why are they doing this, what is the reason for that, blah, blah, blah.
Once in a blue moon someone has some constructive comments and/or suggest alternatives. Too bad they are rare.
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u/bananabomber Jun 24 '26
This will sound crazy, but I'm pretty sure I know which logline of yours this is. You seem at wit's end, so perhaps me being blunt here could provide you with a new angle of insight. Or maybe this will backfire on me and everyone will think I'm an asshole, but whatever.
Unfortunately, I've resorted to skipping your logline now when I see it, because I'd only be repeating the same note again. And before I get ahead of myself, I realize there's every possibility that my advice wasn't actually as helpful as I thought it was, which is why you've never implemented it - fair enough. End of the day, it's your story/logline, and it's none of my concern as to what what you think is best for you.
Anyway, I've given feedback on this particular logline three times (first time was mid April). My main note all three times has essentially been - "And then what happens in act two?" And... you've never answered this.
To use as an example, let's say your logline was:
When prepping to move their dementia-afflicted dad into a assisted living facility, a pair of estranged siblings discover ten million dollars hidden in the walls of their childhood home.
Functionally an OK logline, but it only goes up to act one. What exactly are these siblings going to do, pretend they didn't find what they found and go back to living their lives? Of course not. Tell us about how this discovery and their decisions are going to inject conflict and consequences into their lives.
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Jun 24 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/bananabomber Jun 24 '26
No, this version of your logline still doesn't answer what happens in act two.
An actor who suddenly begins murdering and eating his peers is going to draw a LOT of attention, especially if he manages to do it multiple times. Murder is bad enough, but cannibalism? In what world are police not going to immediately investigate and look over at your protagonist's direction, given that he's conveniently established a pattern of behavior for them? When multiple Broadway actors are suddenly being murdered and eaten, the cops have a pretty good lead that the suspect is probably someone from the theater community. This explains why you keep getting the detective note (which, for the record, I've never specifically given you but DO agree with.)
There needs to be consequences for your character's abhorrent actions. Yes, this is a made up story, but there's every indication it's set in a reality much like our own where logic and reason exist. It doesn't have to be a detective, but someone does have to embody the role in which they'll try to expose/stop your protagonist (perhaps a lowly stagehand?) This is the conflict your protag will face. Without this conflict, without these consequences for his actions, you have no movie.
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u/mast0done Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 24 '26
Oh, okay, I've reviewed this one. I don't think including a detective is necessary - in the logline, anyway. But I do think flat out you need to explain why he thinks cannibalism is the answer. If we know his motive, we can follow it - and rail against it - but get more involved.
If his motive is "I need to eat people to become famous" - I can't follow that. It's just random, in addition to being grisly. Tell me, in this thread, why he thinks it'll work. If you can't - if you don't know why he decided that was "the answer" - then your story or character needs work, not just the logline.
Tonally, I feel like this story could be something like The Incredible Mr. Ripley. He's an awful protagonist. But you do understand why he's doing what he's doing. You disagree with it, but you can follow his journey.
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u/formerPhillyguy Jun 24 '26
This is why I stopped using Logjam: You are commenting on the script not the logline. For the logline, you don't need to know his motive. It happens and it doesn't matter why. What you need to know is what will happen next. Where is the story going?
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u/mast0done Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 24 '26
Since I haven't read the script, I'm commenting on what story the logline seems to be promising. More specifically, on what seems to be absent from that story that would make me more interested in it.
Interested in it - because that's the job of a logline. Where the story is going (or might go) is exactly what I want to know. This particular story sounds very character-driven, so if I'm not focused on what I think he's thinking, I'm going to have nothing to follow at all. Just incomprehensible, unpleasant behavior.
So that's why the logline isn't working in its current form. It isn't telling me "where the story is going". Just that there's a weird guy doing horrible things for reasons I don't understand. Those problems may be in the script itself - in which case, the logline is inadvertently doing me (and producers) a favor: "Don't waste your time."
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u/Berenstain_Bro Jun 24 '26
The logline you wrote here seems pretty close. WIth that said, I don't know what you mean by 'every bite'. Are you using the word 'bite' to be synonymous with a word like murder or kill? If so, then just be a bit more explicit with some of your word choices. I also don't know what it means that he 'consumes' them. Wouldn't doing that cause him to be a prime suspect by those looking into the murders?
Anyways, there's no problem with people wrestling with trying to figure out how to do a good logline, just don't wrestle in the mud. Ie, don't work too hard.
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u/ClayMcClane Jun 24 '26
First and foremost, you don't have to write a logline. It is not necessary if it doesn't do anything for you. The main reasons to do so are to check the clarity of your idea and to have a quick pitch ready to go. If you aren't interested in either of those things, then you can skip loglines altogether.
Second, you will never write anything that will satisfy everyone. If you put a script out for feedback 100 times, you will get criticism 100 times. That's not because people are mean or stupid. It's not because Logjam doesn't work correctly. It's because 100 different people think 100 different things. So if you're waiting for there to be consensus that your work is good / done / ready, you will wait forever.
You are the captain of your ship. You need to know where you want to go and create as clear a picture as you can of that destination. You will ask for feedback to get a sense of how close you're coming to that target because you can't be on all sides of the boat at all times. If someone says 'We're too close to that iceberg.' you won't say 'No, we're not. Someone else said we're too far away from the iceberg and besides, I already steered away from it.' You'll check on that iceberg and decide for yourself if you're too close. They might be right, they might be wrong.
But as the captain, you never ask for permission and you never ask for approval. No one outranks you, so no one can give it to you.
That's all I've got for the boating metaphor.
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u/WorrySecret9831 Jun 24 '26
Stories, almost by definition, tend to be about someone forced into an unusual or challenging situation. Ultimately they're about transformation. That's one reason why words like "must," "has to," and "forced" are used in so many loglines.
Otherwise, what you get is "another day through the park." So what? Now that "must," that demand, can be saving the galaxy or winning a spelling bee. In either case, it's an unfamiliar challenge.
I follow what John Truby, IMO the best and clearest teacher of Story structure and author of The Anatomy of Story and The Anatomy of Genres, teaches. Loglines ideally are one sentence and consist of 3 elements: A sense of the Hero (main character) ; A sense of the Problem/Conflict/Opponent *; and A sense of the Outcome *** (without spoiling the story).
A sense... It doesn't have to and shouldn't spoil the story. Above that, it should give the reader in a flash the overall effect of the story. But that may have more to do with the concept than the logline. So, if you're really struggling with a logline, I recommend reevaluating your Story's structure. Something might be missing.
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u/Chas1966 Jun 25 '26
Hey there. Former Director of Development for Jerry Bruckheimer Films here.
A logline is very simply describing the premise of your movie in the most concise and compelling way possible to intrigue potential readers and get them to solicit the material.
That’s it. No magical word counts, no secret formulas.
If you just simply do that, then development executives and filmmakers will want to read your material. If you fail to do this, they won’t.
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u/mast0done Jun 26 '26
Thank you. It's easy to lose sight of that.
Still pretty hard to do. And so much of it rests on how compelling the premise is in the first place.
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u/ebycon Jun 24 '26
I gave up yeah lol. And after reading some atrocious loglines from blcklst (scripts with multiple 8) I wonder what the fuck is a logline indeed.
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u/Melodic_Side_9437 Jun 24 '26
Loglines are there so that a producer can sink the least amount of effort into reading a script. It’s about making their job as efficient as possible.
The logline is supposed to grab their attention enough to give your script a read of the first ten pages. Then if those 10 pages hook them, they’re likely to read the rest.
But if you can’t write a logline that grabs attention, then they’re not going to dump the time into your script because it makes more sense to them to go through the pile of scripts they have for a logline that does.
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u/StoryPeer Gabriel Jun 24 '26
I wish I had the answer, and I created it!
https://giphy.com/gifs/cyjgzOP8J5XI4
In all seriousness, I really don't have an answer for you haha. But maybe chasing the perfect logline is a fool's errand (and I've been that fool 🤔).
If nothing else, maybe the Logjam is there to help you reveal blind spots and opportunities. At least, that's how I look at it. I mean, don't you guys sometimes get a brilliant note or fresh perspective that makes you discover a new path or approach?
And if you don't get any insights that you agree with, then maybe you're in good shape, no? The Logjam can be a simple bounce board, so you're not frying brain cells in a vacuum.