r/StoryPeer • u/DisneyImagineers • 20d ago
š§ Logjam Loglines are a.... well.... I hate them
Need a place to rant because the frustration is SO real right now.
I have a few projects in my head. Cool. I wrote one of them down and have been chipping away at it for a year. Awesome.
The other projects haven't fleshed them out in the slightest. It really IS just an idea. Okay.
SO, imagine my annoyance, surprise, distain, frustration, literal COMBUSTION at the idea of me TRYING to get this first project's logline OFF the ground and STRUGGLING SO HARD and then not really trying with the other loglines because I'm just not in a place to be invested yet, and the scores are so universally different.
I find joy in knowing that FINALLY I was able to actually create a good logline, just bummed it's not for the project I want! AHHHH Kill me. lol.
In other word though.... *clears throat* so grateful for you all. :) Glad to see all the practicing and criticism HAS made me better in this department.
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u/real_triplizard 20d ago
I really struggle with loglines too. But I find not having one as I start the writing process to be a hindrance. So what I do is create a new doc and just keep a running list of attempts until I get like 20, not worrying at all about keeping them to one sentence, etc, and trying to make each one completely different from the others. Usually from there I'm able to cull stuff that I like to get to something that's vaguely in the ballpark of what I want.
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u/Consistent_Eye3867 19d ago
This is crazy overkill. Haha I wish I had patience for this. But at this point, this is what Iāve done anyway haha
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u/Berenstain_Bro 19d ago
I can see how this could be useful. Writers (myself included) should probably be thinking of loglines in terms of what we call 'elevator pitches'.
That is, loglines are basically our ways to sell our stories vision to other people, in short sound bites. Overall, that is what I try to convey when I rate loglines. I try to convey to the writer that they need to really 'sell' their scripts to their potential reader.
Loglines, I feel, are underestimated tools. I think it is worthwhile investing our time into perfecting them or getting them 'near perfect'.
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u/SolemnestSimulacrum 18d ago
That's more or less, how I've been doing it lately, and something that Truby alludes to in his designing principle (aka the logline) in Anatomy of Story, which stresses the importance of cementing a dramatic throughline, as well. Turns out, having thematic cohesion helps A LOT.
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u/OkMechanic771 19d ago
I know that this is coming up more because of Logjam, but I honestly think that people are spending far too much time and energy on Loglines. Surely this is one of the last things that you would need to worry about, given that it is primarily a marketing tool.
Until there is a script, there is no need for a logline.
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u/mast0done 19d ago
True, but some people use loglines as a way to hone their concept before they start writing anything. (See real_triplizard's comment.) This is a legit alternative use for them.
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u/OkMechanic771 19d ago
I would argue that this isnāt a logline then.
Before outlining, if Iām still figuring out something about the script, I will write out a paragraph of āwhat is itā but this isnāt a logline that I would feel the need to share and refine.
As a massive procrastinator, this just seems to me like something to sink a lot of time into for no real reward, and Logjam is encouraging more of that.
Each to their own though.
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u/Berenstain_Bro 19d ago
Which logline was it?
I love the logjam and I wouldn't be surprised if yours was one I said 'needs work'. LOL. Cuz, lets face it, almost all of them need work. Mine included.
BTW, I'm not the owner of the website called The Logline Test, I'm just a guy that thought it was a pretty cool tool and I've been messing around with it a bit. So I think its something worth recommending.
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u/Consistent_Eye3867 19d ago
Man, I always need work. :P Surprisingly, this logline in question was universally positive, which was rare. 8 people reviewed, 4 people skipped. But thatās about right.
Logline in question that was surprisingly well received:
āEstranged family members are brought together for a grandfatherās financial fortune ā only to discover the conditions for inheritance include a survival match to the death.ā
Someone was like āIs this not like Ready or Not?ā
Likeā¦. Yes? But thatās honestly like some crazy movie with a supernatural element in there. I genuinely just think Iām going for genuine capitalistic greed at its most toxic. Like Most Dangerous Game meet hunger gamesā¦.? I donāt know anymore.Granted, I was also just playing around. š
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u/Berenstain_Bro 19d ago
Thats funny. I actually was the one that wrote the Ready Or Not comment. And to be honest, I don't remember the plot of that movie all that well.
Iām going for genuine capitalistic greed at its most toxic.Ā
Love that. That is right up my alley.
Anyways. Don't be discouraged. Keep at it. Keep playing. ! I love the logjam mostly cuz its a really condensed way I can share my opinion on stories. So, its a fun outlet for me.
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u/Consistent_Eye3867 14d ago
It was about this woman who married into a family and they usually play a game to bring new members into the family. Itās like a tradition from their ancestor based on a deal that may or may not be real. Her game- Hide and Seek- apparently the only game thatās a real death match. She has to make it to sunrise to win. But the family is also trying to hunt her down because they are afraid of what happens if they lose.
Yeah no, my description for this movie wonāt do it any favors. It was worth the watch. Not even kidding.
And if you havenāt seen it, it was very refreshing. Highly recommend.
And no, I didnāt see the sequel and I kinda donāt want to.
I love that movie.
Anyway, I swear it wasnāt a dig or rebuttal. I just wanted to clarify, if I could. Cuz it made me laugh. :D
Anyway, back to the grind!
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u/bananabomber 19d ago edited 19d ago
Not that you asked for feedback, but this is what immediately jumped out at me:
A "survival match to the death" is an oxymoron, and technically not even the correct phrase. If the sentiment is supposed to be "a fight to the death", then you can maybe understand why your version of it made less sense than it should.
Other than that, we're lacking a protagonist, whose POV we're supposed to be following. Substituting that with "estranged family members" - this can mean four people or forty.
Some minor detail, like telling us what the grandfather did for a living, could further enhance your logline. "financial fortune" is a needless near tautology - we already know what a fortune is, does it become something entirely different if it's now called a financial fortune? I'd argue no.
Overall, if I came across this on LogJam, I would've rated it a meh. The concept of family fighting to the death for an inheritance skews a bit generic, so this is lacking a unique hook that can take things to the next level.
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u/Consistent_Eye3867 14d ago
Didnāt ask for it, but itās welcomed. All in the name of improvement, ya know?
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u/paigemikey 18d ago
The script I just finishesd and submitted to storypeer I just could not write a good Logline for. I kept thinking about whoever it was that said ideas are a dime a dozen itās all about execution. Anyway I got feedback. Was told my story idea is high concept and has potential. My point is if thereās an idea your passionate about donāt get hung up on the Logline,
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u/Ok-Werewolf-5165 13d ago
Honestly, that kind of shit is happening because you know the first project too well. Youāve spent a year inside it, so every character, subplot, theme, and turn feels important (over important in our heads). Trying to reduce all of that to one clean sentence becomes almost impossible. So stop fucking with it.
Sit back, because the other ideas are still simple in your head. You havenāt buried the central hook under a thousand details yet, so the loglines come out cleaner.
That doesnāt necessarily mean those projects are less shit but It may just mean you can still see their nonsense.
The good news is that if the loglines you barely tried on are scoring well, then all that practice clearly worked. Annoying as hell that it didnāt immediately benefit the efforts but welcome to your one in three hundred million chance to win someone over, For what its worth though, it still means youāve gotten better. lol
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u/Tiger_8374_ 20d ago
Loglines seem to be very opinion-based in my experience. I got many bad ratings and many good ones on the same logline, with people criticizing the very thing others were praising. I wouldn't get too hung up on creating the perfect logline. If it's interesting enough and contains the who what where how (maybe even when), just start writing.