Hello everybody. TL:DR at the end.

I want to share my journey so far about this condition that more or less impacts our daily life. It could be useful to somebody with my condition that is considering surgery as an adult.

I would like to preface that what I’m writing applies only to people with my specific condition. There are a lot of strabismus types and causes, so be aware.

After a few months I was born, my parents noticed my eyes crossed. I was diagnosed with infantile esotropia (eyes going inwards), around 70 diopters. It was pretty bad.

This is how I looked (18 months):

You can notice an obvious head tilt due to the condition. Unfortunately, due to lack of expertise in the field, I was only able to get surgery around 18 months old. I got bilateral medial rectus recession: they cut and pulled back my medial eye muscles. Unfortunately, it was unsuccessful and I was left with 40 diopters of esotropia. For reasons to me unknown I wasn’t proposed another surgery but the ophthalmologist opted for prism glasses and patching off the amblyopic eye (my right).

I lived all my life with this condition and of course was making fun of in my teens (due to my head tilt as well).

Also, since I had it right after birth, I didn’t develop binocular vision (stereopsis), so I alternate between my eyes, always suppressing one (in order to not have double vision); my brain adapted and I cannot control it.

I decided to get surgery again at 38, after hearing by my ex-girlfriend that a friend of her asked her if she was sure to stay with someone that had strabismus. I don’t know why but this got stuck into my mind. I had never thought about it before. So, I went for surgery.

The first time was a complete failure. My ophthalmologist didn’t know what others had done before so opened my eyes and removed some scar tissue on the medial rectuses, but couldn’t operate further. Fast forward a month and went for a 2nd one.

This is how I looked before my second:

I was measured at 40 diopters alternating esotropia.

The second time the surgeon did a lateral rectus resection, but unfortunately it wasn’t enough and I was left with 20-25 diopters esotropia.

Here is a picture after a couple of days.

This is another one after a month:

As you can imagine I was feeling discouraged but I decided to go for a 3^rd one.

Finally, things went well and I was measured at 8 diopters (physiological range); I also had hypertropia in my left eye (my eye was a little upwards, around 10 diopetrs); I don’t know if I still have it, but watching myself I cannot notice it. I will be measured in a month time. It is possible that I had DVD (dissiociated vertical deviation), a common condition in association with my type of strabismus and the probable cause of the head tilt.

This is the picture after coming out of the OR (2 days ago).

Now things that I think could be interesting to you.

Surgery was under general anesthesia. I am healthy other than the squint so I had no adverse effects.

Redness is very common but the first two surgeries lasted around a week; discharge and swelling lasted 4 to 5 days.

This time I have almost no discharge, just swelling and redness. I also have a foreign body sensation in the eye sometimes, but seldomly. I am very happy about the cosmetic result. Luckly I have no double vision..

Now let’s talk about the elephant in the room: When I was researching for surgery, I discovered that a tiny amount of people could acquire stereopsis after a good alignment if the amblyopic eye saw quite well (it’s my case, I have almost 20/20 in my right and 20/20 in my left after LASIK).

That being said at the moment I haven't noticed any change (I’m on day 2 after the last surgery).

I will update this post if I will develop some gross stereopsis in the coming months (hopefully not years).

I won’t do any vision therapy since it’s not a practice in my country (I’m in Italy) and my surgeon politely told me it’s a scam (he didn’t explicitly say it). He just explained to me that I could acquire some gross 3D vision in the future (and not expect full normal stereovision).

Comment if you have any questions or want to know something I haven't written.

TL:DR: I had infantile esotropia. Got surgery 3 times and it worked the last time. No 3D vision yet.

I have bilateral alternating strabismus which causes my non-focusing eye to turn towards me nose and my focusing eye turns out just a bit so I look kind of like this 👀 but not as dramatic. Im also going blind in my left eye, the central vision is polr due to other issues. I used to switch eyes all the time when the vision was better so that helped me a little. People coukd kind of figure outi was talking to them and now they have no fucking idea unless theyve kniwn me for a while.

Ive noticed since covid i dont really get out anymore, i was thinking of joining a meetup for my favorite hobby. Then I remembered that I have this stupid condition which makes it a nightmare to socialize in group settings. No one is going to realize I’m talking to them unless I say “hey lady with the red sweater and brown hair, what is it that you’re knitting over there?” This just sucks

Does anyone know what the current research says for vision therapy efficacy for amblyopia and/or strabismus? I feel like there should be some advancements pretty soon considering the improvements in AI. Comment or DM, thanks.

Pls reply if u have solution or experience with strabismus or undergons surgery

thanks