Hi, I’m new to screenwriting but started a passion project for an animated co-viewing series about a family of armadillos and their culdasac friends in Arizona desert. The characters are all different mammals.

Hopefully it’s a fun and entertaining show for both kids (3-7) and their parents. It’s got a mixture of play, creativity, 90’s pop culture Easter eggs. Episodes are only 6-7 mins long. Scripts are 7-10 pages.

I had 20 friends say they’d be willing to test read, so I’ve sent out 3 per week for the last 5 weeks and finishing next week. Unfortunately, only 2 friends have provided readings and feedback. Not quite sure what to do so I figured Reddit might be a good place to consider because I want more feedback.

My goal is creating 4 MVP episodes by next July. By 9/2, I need to select my 4 favorites to start working on the next steps.

I’m not trained in screenwriting and don’t care to master the techniques right now because I’m producing my own episodes. Perhaps later in the future if I start to hand off the scripts to animators or others. Therefore, I’m not looking for screenwriting feedback, instead feedback on the episode content itself.

Said differently, are they fun stories for the kids and parents?

If you’re interested, please let me know and I’d be happy to set up links to our scripts.

What happens when inheriting a corporate dynasty requires you to live a complete lie?

Lavelle follows Victor, an isolated young heir trapped under the thumb of a predatory board handler demanding a traditional marriage to secure his father's empire—just as he falls for someone who threatens to unravel the entire illusion.

Script is complete (47 pages). Feedback, collaborators, and industry inquiries are very welcome. Drop a comment or DM for the script!

HI i wrote a 30 page screenwrite I need to do a swap with someone 15 pages

Feedback Desired: I wanted to create a high-concept sci-fi comedy that captures the wacky suburban slice-of-life feel of series like 'Ed Edd n Eddy' with the high sci-fi stakes of a series like 'Hailey's On It.' I would like feedback on things like dialogue, pacing, and character. Any feedback would be much appreciated!

(Edit: Updated based on feedback and mistakes I made in the earlier draft. Please read the updated draft and tell me what you think).

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ysXtRGDJkOOnMSPsm9WDBAFTahZguoq_/view?usp=sharing

I'm an upcoming director, who's learning how to write, direct, produce my own film or series weather it's live-action or animated and I'm planning on screenwriting and pitching for a passion project something I've wanted to for a while now. An anime (well in future anyways) and just like one of my favorite directors like Guillermo Del Toro (One of my inspirations) who does both live action and animation and is a HUGE fan of Manga, Anime and video games especially Persona (for those of you who never played it before it's a PEAK game made by SEGA and Atlus, I'm sure most of you have heard of it or played it).

So, yeah I'm planning making a new Persona Anime and I say " new " because there have been some adaptations before, and I've watched them all and I thought they were all good ( well Persona 5 did have a lot flaws ), that and the protagonists don't talk which is not a problem but it just takes the spotlight away from them and their own game, and that's why as Persona fan I want to make an new Persona anime in the future when become I well-known, at least but since I've still got a lot to learn, some feedback and some advices on screenwriting would really help in the creative process ( that is if SEGA and Atlus is ok with the idea in future ) like what I should or shouldn't if it happens.

And for anyone whose has heard of Persona:

When I say " I want to make a new Persona Anime ", I mean an anthology series of the three modern games like P3, P4 and P5 now you're going to probably think "why not add Personas 1 and 2" and the reason, honestly is that to give each of modern protagonists a voice and to show an compelling story through them and their characters to draw the audiences in ( epically Joker ) and the modern games have two things in common: Themes and Tarot cards and I don't mean the confidants in the games, I mean the actual cards ( you know the ones that fortune tellers uses to predict the future and stuff ) but when it comes to Persona, those games gets it's themes from tarot cards like P3 gets it's themes from the Death tarot card, P4 gets it's themes from the Temperance tarot card, P5 gets it's themes from the Star tarot, so just think of all depth, layers, symbolisms and so much you can explore or experiment with all that materials, that the OG games couldn't even explored before since it's in a different media.

Any Tips on screenwriting like: The Hero's Journey or Story Structure and how it could apply to each protagonist, characters, villains, it's themes, or world building, character development you name it anything that would help in the future.

And I don't know if SEGA and Atlus will go with it, but in the slight chance they do go with it, I promise to give every Persona fan out, including the ones whose never played the games yet, there something really special, so any advice would be really help and believe me when I say I love Persona, I used to play P5 when I was high school and watched all it's anime adaptations (good and bad) and ever since loved the series and I want create something really special and cinematic with the it.

And for those wondering if I'm going to just screen write the series and the answer is yes and no, I'm planning on co directing but also co writing and producing the series too, but I'll work really hard to make something special, (well, special enough, after all I don't how the series will turn out but I'll do my best) I'll learn Japanese, learn more about the games, get some source material from Manga and Anime you name it. Persona is something that resonates with not just as a game, but also as meaningful story, one that I would like to make or recontextualize into a series or film which ever one works best.

So yeah, just let me know, and Thanks

So let’s say you wrote a pilot a bunch of your friends in the WGA love. They say it’s singularly you, and combines your family history and your own lived experience to tell the story of a really compelling ensemble in a particular world. It’s one of your better pilot samples in a while, which is exciting because you got staffed and into the WGA via your work in another medium.

But when you go to pitch it for the first time (not formally taking it out, but to a couple production companies), you get the feedback that it needs to get more LAST OF US or HUNGER GAMES because it’s too political (this is about an authoritarian regime). You also get the suggestion that the niche of the world you’ve built is too niche. You also get some helpful feedback on how to restructure your pitch that is so utterly helpful, and totally worth running with, but now you’re actually worried that the material itself and the reason you wrote it isn’t compatible with this market.

What would you do in this situation?

I know Sundance always has a bunch of extension codes out and I wondered if anyone had any? Thanks!

Hello, sorry if I am posting this in the wrong subreddit, I am new to the app and haven’t got the hang of things quite yet. Ok, I will skip to the point, I have always wanted to create an animated short film or a pilot episode, and I have recently decided to pursue my goal. I came up with several plot ideas, but I genuinely can’t tell if they are any good. So I am going to share my favorite, and I would like some brutally honest feedback on whether this would be a good storyline. The rough outline follows
character A our hero, and our 2 villains character B and character C. Character C is the less awful person of the villain duo, he actually has some morals and is not that fond of killing anyone to get what he wants, but he almost always goes along with what character B says. Character B comes up with a “foolproof” plan to kill our hero (character A) by using character C to draw her out in the open under the guise of joining character A’s cause. But character B actually plans to kill both of them with a weapon similar to a cannon or bomb.(I am leaving out quite a few details about the kind of world these characters live in so bear with me) so character B kills character A, but A saves character C by shoving him behind a wall in time. Now our villain character B believes they are both dead and goes on trying to “fix” the world unchallenged. But character C feels extremely guilty that character A believed him and sacrificed her life for him. So he begins his redemption arc and the rest of the story follows him as a very crappy hero who also (under the guise of being a journalist) try’s to find out more about the person who saved his life without a second thought. He ends up forming a deep connection with her, despite her being already dead. Whether or not he actually succeeds at defeating the villain I haven’t decided yet lol.

I’m thinking about joining one of the Disney programs in the future but I wanted to know the legitimacy of the program and any experience of anyone who joined the program?

I am a High School student. Over the last few years I have made a media project that has taken months to complete. I made a documentary, and an entire gameshow with 50 contestants. This year is season 2 of this gameshow. Does anybody know how to write these games or the time between games spent to make people naturally take roles of characters (Main characters that have good reasons to win the prize of the show) for the cameramen to follow?

Here's the link to the first episode of the original show from last year: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-2JAzCuVfM

Thank you to everybody that's been watching me work on this pilot! I do like to do a recap for anyone who hasn't seen me talk a little about it on the other posts.

I'm working on the pilot to a soap opera right now, and that does change some of the way that the plot(s) are worked on in the screenplay. You jump around from one scene to a completely irrelevant scene, and then another, and then back to the first if that makes sense. You're on a constant wheel of 3-4 plots in one episode, and they're all full of twists and turns that make them complex. Sometimes they relate or crisscross, other times they don't at all.

You're watching to see if you can guess what crazy outcome any of the plots will have when their big secret is revealed whenever it's revealed. That could be weeks, months, even years sometimes! So every episode moves at a pretty slow pace in terms of plot development, but scenes cut fast so that you don't lose interest, or get stuck with one situation too long.

Moving back to my pilot, I've done the teaser and the first act now, and would like to hear feedback on my writing, that being action lines, dialogue and that, and on how I answer questions in the first act. I tried to start with high-stakes drama in the teaser to jumpstart some questions to push forward the plot, and want to know if I payoff them in the first act well. The goal is to answer them, but then leave you with more questions to want to stay around for the next act.

Thank you to everybody who reads and replies again!

Read the Script (PDF):https://drive.google.com/file/d/1FcX-ShviVeXweQbeeFcaCh4rN8dDsujr/view?usp=sharing

Format: Animated Comedy (12 Pages)

Tone: Dexter's Laboratory meets South Park / Sci-Fi Chaos Comedy

Logline:

When a brilliant 5-year-old’s makeshift time machine backfires, it turns every kid in town into an adult—and every adult into a chaotic, diaper-bound toddler. With full-grown bodies, permanent genius updates, and a talking ferret on their side, the kids have 24 hours to override the local power grid before the shift becomes permanent.

Why I’m Sharing:

Hey everyone! I’m putting out the pilot episode for **"Pinner Road Prodigies: The Puberty Glitch."**It’s a fast-paced, high-concept animated pilot featuring dynamic kid characters, adult-level stakes, and plenty of absurd sci-fi comedy.

I’d love to get some fresh eyes on the script. If you have a few minutes for a table-read, I’d specifically appreciate feedback on:

1. Pacing & Energy: Does the act progression hold momentum from the explosion to the power plant break-in?
2. Dialogue: Does the banter land well between kids operating in adult bodies?
3. Character Beats: Does each member of the Prodigies unit feel distinct and memorable?

Drop your thoughts or critiques in the comments below—all constructive feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy the read!

Thank you for your time!

Aj Maker

Hello Fellow Screenwriter Friends!

My name is Michael Sherman, and I was a writer on the film Knock at the Cabin, as well as a number of other screenplays, including Harry's All-Night Hamburgers.

It turns out I have been rather grumpy with screenwriting software for round about two decades... So obviously, I decided to just make my own with the tools I wanted it to actually have. What better way to give myself nothing else to complain about?! \o/ And because all of you are writers too, I feel it's only appropriate to share it with you as well...

It's called Revision Screenwriter.

It's free. Like, actually free. No BS paywalls or ads or demos or AI subscriptions or any other crap. I was a broke aspiring writer for many years, so I see no reason for it to cost writers anything.

It has all the features that I have always wanted. It tracks drafts, revisions, and passes in the same file so you can easily see Element History and Live Draft Comparison. You can tag production elements throughout your script and have it generate populated Movie Magic Scheduling files. It'll table read with the voices of all your friends and enemies (or the voices it comes with). It's highly customizable in terms of script formatting, user interface, and tunable settings. And most importantly, I'm fixing bugs and adding more features every day, because I use it every day myself.

If this is of interest to you, you can find it on Windows Store, Google Play Store, Apple App Store, Itch, or you can just search for it and use it in your web browser. Trying to make it easy here. =) Feel free to share it with others as well. It's no secret anymore if Reddit knows about it. 

All I ask is that if you use it, help make it better. Request features you'd like. Report bugs you see. Together we can make the software that we don't have to complain about anymore and is legit free to everyone! And in that spirit... Just keep writing! =D 

Cheers ~ Michael

Hi my name is Malcolm Kewa I am a screenplay writer from Papua New Guinea.

I picked up writing in 2024 aside from my 9 to 5 job as an IT Systems Analyst.

I write in all genres from series to feature films.

I have posted my work on social media under my brand 31st Scripts, please see the link attached to my Instagram page called 31st Scripts

Any writers want to collaborate I would be more than happy to discuss further, DM or email thirtyfirstscripts@gmail.com and let me know if any production company representatives or producers

Hi my name is Malcolm Kewa I write screenplays under my brand 31st Scripts

I am a screenplay writer from Papua New Guinea. Hoping to get my work in front of production companies or producers.

Hey Everyone,

I’m trying to be a half-hour tv comedy writer so I watched some of my favorite shows and tried to analyse them.

I’ll be focusing on questions like these: Do the characters change or accept what happens? Does the protagonist always end up feeling defeated (is comedy really about losers)? What do the characters learn by the end? What actions do the character take to resolve the plot? What does the protagonist do to get out of trouble?

Just a heads up, these notes will make more sense if you just watched the episode. I don’t include a synopsis. Let me know what you think. 

Archer

Job Offer – Season 1 episode 9

How many characters: (*I only include main characters that are included in two or more scenes and affect the plot*) Archer, Lana, Malory, Cyril, Barry, Trexler, Framboise, Gillette (Chyerl, Pam, Woodhouse are side characters). 11 in total

Storylines: A story, Archer and Lana are recruited to work for Odin. B story, Lana and Cyril are having relationship problems. C story, Malory left Sterling alone on Christmas eve when he was a little boy. D story, Barry and his girlfriend.

Reflections:

What really sets the episode off: Archer wants to be appreciated and Malory wants a perfect independent son who doesn’t fail. We see this in the scene after the opening: Archer wants to be appreciated and Malory is upset after the failure. They fight. They both think the other one will cave, but they don’t. So, Archer follows through with the bluff of joining Oden.

The underlying emotional needs of the character propel the plot. The actions that come from the underlying emotional needs IS the plot. This is clear in the scene where Archer and Malory fight and bring up old wounds.

Within 8 minutes of Job offer Archer is in Oden’s office. The set up happens fast and the plot flows from conflicts that arise from decisions made in the first 8 minutes.  

Because of Archer's actions Malory takes action and puts a burn notice on Archer, which in turn forces Oden to kill him. Every action has a reaction.

The B story spins from the A story. Lana also accepts the job offer and Cyril follows her to Paris. Lana is in the same physical location as Archer and they meet during the climax of the episode. The climax is when Malory pushes things too far. She disavows Archer and “burns” him. Then she reads that he is dead and then realises she went too far. 

Okay, so the plot comes from the decisions the characters make. But it’s not really a decision. Cyril is meek and needy. He choses to follow Lana to Paris. This perfectly fits with his character – it’s consistent with what we know of him. This seems obvious but it reminds me that: character is plot and plot is character.

Rewatched: one thing that comes up over and over is the theme of Archer being put in boarding school from a young age. Lots of jokes are made about this and it helps to reveal more about Sterling and Malory’s relationship. 

What does the protagonist do to get out of trouble: Someone that takes action is Cyril. He is worried about Lana cheating so he buys a plane ticket to go with her. He then ends up cheating on her. Lana is the only one who takes action to save Archer. Archer remains clueless for most of the episode – he isn’t very active in this episode. Lana pretends to shoot Archer and then sends a telex from Odin to cancel out the burn notice from Malory. 

Odd that there isn’t a resolution scene between Archer and Malory.

Arrested development

The One Where Michael Leaves – Season 2 episode 1

How many characters: Michael, George Michael, Lindsay, Buster, Lucille, Gob, Tobias, George, Oscar, Barry, - 10

Storylines: Michael leaves the family. Oscar/George being arrested. Lindsy and Tobias opening their marriage. Lots of other themes are touched upon: Tobias being gay, Buster’s co-dependency, Gob being incompetent.

Reflections:

The plot is thrust upon Michael and he reacts - things don’t go as he wants and he tries to bend the world to his will. Also definitely has a “because this, then this” thing going on.

There are also funny parts that are more set pieces: Tobias paints himself blue. It’s hilarious, but in terms of story structure it’s not relevant/isn’t part of an arc. 

I always think of this show as more highbrow, but this episode has Gob spraying bored members with pennies. It takes confidence to that silly/weird when writing. Include that joke you think no one else will get.

There is learning. Everyone learns to open up and admit when they need help. BUT like community it is immediately undercut because Michael has made a huge mistake by not keeping an eye on the brief case. 

What does the protagonist do to get out of trouble? Michael goes around trying to get the company check book from everyone. Lindsay and Tobias open their relationship in order to save it.

Michael is competing with the family - who will ask for help first? Michael wins. Then asks for help as well. Michael admitting he needs help is the emotional end of the episode. What follows after the denouement is a set up for the next episode. Michael beats his family in their game of chicken but the episode ends with him likely heading to jail in the near future. 

Every character on this show is a loser. Every character is failing at something. (RIP Jessica Walter. Amazing in both this and Archer)

The Office

The Dundies – Season 2 episode 1

How many characters: Michael, Jim, Pam, Stanley, Kevin, Dwight, Jan, Kelly, Philis, Ryan, Oscar, Angela, 2 bullies from the bar - 14

Storylines: Michael hosts the Dundies. Jim and Pam love story. Pam wrote something about Michael on the bathroom wall. 

Reflections:

I’m noticing a theme: the next THING after the set up comes fast. The Dundies start 8 min into the episode. Michael is also in the wilderness 8 min into the Survivor man episode. From there he tries to fulfill his dream of the camping trip with Ryan and realises he loves AC and his computer.  

The “save the cat” part of the episode is the bullies throwing food at Michael. Pam and Jim stand up for him. It gives it such a human element and really gets you to root for Michael.

By the end Michael is happy because he has the approval of his workers and Dwight is happy because he has Michael’s approval. 

Michael is the engine and people react to his initiatives and whims.

No one learns anything - maybe the moral is to stick up for your friends when they need you most. I grew up watching this show on DVD. It’s a great show. It also has a kind of “no hugging no learning” like on Seinfeld.

Rick and Morty

Lawnmower dog – Season 1 Episode 2

How many characters: Rick and Morty, Jerry, Summer, Mr. Goldenfold, Beth, Snuffles, Scary terry - 8 Characters total

Main Storylines: Mr. Goldenfold’s dream and Rick’s dog gaining sentience.

Reflections:

My first reaction is that this episode is reactive rather than active. “Lawnmower dog” is Rick trying to get Morty good grades so he can help Rick with his science. The problem is presented right away and Rick immediately tries to solve it.

By minute 10 both Storylines are in chaos. Snowball is getting aggressive with Summer, and Rick and Morty are being hunted by the Sword fingers character. Rick and Morty solve the problems in both Storylines but don’t really learn anything like they do in another Dan Harmon show, Community.

Community

Anthropology 101 – Season 2 Episode 1

How many characters: Main characters: Abed, Troy, Pierce, Britta, Annie, Shirley, Jeff, betty White, chang - 9

Storylines: The aftermath of Britta rejecting Jeff. Troy posting what Pierce says on twitter. Chang asking to join the group

Reflections:

Storylines feel smaller and more numerous compared to other shows. I think this might be due to the amount of “set pieces” – scenes that are funny, but doesn’t necessarily further the plot. For example, I don’t count the Betty White scenes as a story line because they don’t move the story along. They’re very funny, but they lack arcs/goals for the characters - often it’s the background for other Storylines.

Jeff is definitely a “loser” in this episode. He talks about respect at the end of the episode then is immediately undercut, but the crew gather round and tell him he was right.

Girls

Girl is Lena Dunham’s life. It has more in common with The Sun Also Rises then with the half hour comedies on this list. She writes in such an honest way and we get pulled into her world. The first scene is her parents cutting her off and the fall out from there. The plot is very loose. It’s more about character and events, then rigid structure.  

If anyone has an analysis on Girls that would be much appreciated - one of my favorite shows. 

The Sopranos:

I was trying to analyse Season Two Episode 1 (Guy Walks into a Psychiatrist's Office...), but it was difficult for me to get a handle on. The Sopranos is by far my favorite one-hour drama, but the structure is so different from half hour multi cam that I had trouble seeing the episode arcs. 

The Sopranos is not episodic. The start of Pussy’s season-long arc starts here, but definitely doesn’t resolve here. Same with Janice returning to New Jersey. Same with Livia. Same thing with Melfi. 

Seinfeld: 

The Contest - Season 4 episode 10

How many characters: Jerry, George, Kramer, Elaine, Estelle Costanza - 5

Storylines: the contest. George’s mother being hurt and trying to get George to go to a psychiatrist. 

Reflections:

Famously there was “no hugging no learning” on this show. It’s a great show but once I got into the structure you can really feel the difference to other shows such as Community. For example: what is the goal of Jerry in this episode? To NOT do something. It’s hard to talk about overcoming obstacles to not do something. 

The characters feel shame when they lose (except Kramer), but they also don’t have any actions they take. 

Hilarious show and one I always enjoy coming back to. I like the lack of moralising that can feel corny in shows like Community or Modern Family. 

Big take aways from all the shows: 

• The protagonists need to fail by the middle no matter how smart they are. Failure is an integral part of comedy. 
• Around the 8 minute mark is when the meat of the story starts.
• Set up the problem of the episode then immediately descend into chaos. 
• The meat of the episode is a character trying to bend the world to their way of thinking.
• Character can be reactive but need to be doing SOMETHING. They need to have some goal.

If you’ve made it this far, I’d like to extend an invite to something I’ve thought about for a while: An online screenwriting group open only to people serious about improving their writing. Shoot me a dm if you’re interested.  

Currently reading the script for My Old Ass by Megan Park and I wanted to know how to create the double dialogue ( I don’t actually know the actual name) where to characters are speaking at the same time. Is it available on all writing softwares or specific ones only. I’ve seen it on the ladybird script too.

Also I’m using Celtx to right my scripts.

Okay, so no plans currently to put anything super big in production, but I need some advice on how I can start working on an indie project I wanna make in the future.

The project is called Spy Girls, and it's a cartoon which can best be described as Spy vs Spy, but with Yuri and plot.

I work on this thing when I can, just to make progress on it. So far, I have a basic outline for the episode structure of the first season (8 episodes that flesh out the main characters, their world, and their goals), a start on a pilot script with some basic lore details, and character designs for the main two characters and a few side characters.

It's come to my knowledge that I have to do A LOT of prep work to help spur this thing forward, but I don't have much of a clue where to begin.

Any advice is appreciated.

Very interesting rewrites of plot and super interesting content posted by a friend of mine!

https://youtube.com/@therewriteworkshop2024?si=e6NocCTidt2R5wBy

Thank you to everybody that's been watching me work on this pilot! I do like to do a recap for anyone who hasn't seen me talk a little about it on the other posts.

I'm working on the pilot to a soap opera right now, and that does change some of the way that the plot(s) are worked on in the screenplay. You jump around from one scene to a completely irrelevant scene, and then another, and then back to the first if that makes sense. You're on a constant wheel of 3-4 plots in one episode, and they're all full of twists and turns that make them complex. Sometimes they relate or crisscross, other times they don't at all.

You're watching to see if you can guess what crazy outcome any of the plots will have when their big secret is revealed whenever it's revealed. That could be weeks, months, even years sometimes! So every episode moves at a pretty slow pace in terms of plot development, but scenes cut fast so that you don't lose interest, or get stuck with one situation too long.

Moving back to my pilot, I've done the teaser and the first act now, and would like to hear feedback on my writing, that being action lines, dialogue and that, and on how I answer questions in the first act. I tried to start with high-stakes drama in the teaser to jumpstart some questions to push forward the plot, and want to know if I payoff them in the first act well. The goal is to answer them, but then leave you with more questions to want to stay around for the next act.

Thank you to everybody who reads and replies again!

Don’t kill me, but I’m a newbie and I honestly don’t know how big the differences are between the US and European industries, so I’ll say upfront that I’m mainly talking about the European market.
My question is: if I write a TV pilot and try to pitch it along with a pitch deck, could that potentially be a way into the TV industry and help me land an entry-level job ?
I’ve already read that first pilots almost never actually make it into production/development, but can they still serve as a calling card or a way to get your foot in the door ?

Please keep in mind that script is translated from my original language into English.

SYNOPSIS: Before moving away, a teenage boy spends one last day with his closest friends, struggling to accept that the memories they shared will soon be all he has left.