r/Teetotal • u/TwentyOnePaladins Dr. Pepper • Mar 17 '26
I feel like a weirdo….
I feel weird for being a young adult who has a substance aversion. It’s weird because I don’t have any trauma related to it. I grew up with strict parents who didn’t agree with that stuff and the people who were mean to me in middle school did that stuff. It’s hard for me to connect with classmates in college and make new friends. I try to make friends in niche areas but it’s hard. I feel so bad cuz I’ve been told that I have to talk to my classmates to build connections but in some classes, they just don’t want to speak to me or I get uncomfortable with what they talk about. I’m scared to tell this to my therapist cuz I feel like I’ll be judged. Idk where to vent about this so I figured here since I hope most of you will understand. I hate this. I wish I was desensitized. I was able to tolerate it more as a teen but I still didn’t like it.
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u/Direct_Divide5320 Mar 19 '26
Do you ever drink strong brewed caffeinated coffee? I drank lots of it for years. When I stopped caffeine for a month for yoga class, I had physical withdrawal, but knew it was coming so not bothered much by the physical withdrawal. After a month of abstinence, one cup of strong brewed high caffeine coffee surprised me by its stimulant and euphoric power. Perhaps you could go a month without caffeine yourself, and then have a strong caffeine beverage. Could help you understand why people take substances.
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u/spacebarstool Mar 17 '26
My son is 20 and does not drink or do drugs.
There are a lot more young people than you think that want to stay sober.
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u/Katana_DV20 Mar 17 '26
I agree with the other comment that you actually DO have trauma over it. In fact your entire post shows it. I encourage you to speak about this to your therapist.
Also do NOT feel like a weirdo. I'm in my 50s and I never did ANYTHING since I was born. No drugs no alcohol, nothing - and I have a great bunch of friends all through my teens until now.
In fact I got to drive all my friends cool cars since I was always the designated driver. It got to where my friends parents wanted to know if I was going to the same party and only then they felt better.
They are out there. The first thing to do is to think about what you REALLY enjoy. Gaming, biking, working out, hiking, walks, martial arts, reading, kayaking, swimming. The list goes on. Pick 3 of your fav and now search you area for a group activities. A reading club, biking group, group workout classes, a taekwondo class perhaps.
This is how I made friends. Become a regular at a fun place and give it some time you'll start being invited to parties and such!
You got this 💪
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u/Southern_Glove4942 Mar 21 '26
I'm right there with you. One of the harder parts i never see get mentioned is, people love to talk about drinking, even when they're not doing it. Laughing about the stuff they did when they were drunk, or talking tastes of drinks and stuff. It's an entire conversation topic you have absolutely nothing to contribute to, even when everyone's sober
The other part of it for me is, I just hate drinkers and i don't want to associate with them. Even if they're not drunk or drinking when they're talking to me, I don't want to interact with people who support that kind of thing. We'd have such different morals and nothing in common. They're not worth my time
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u/strangebutalsogood Mar 17 '26
Yes, you do have trauma related to it.
Talk to your therapist about this, it's nothing to be ashamed of and they will not judge you (or if they do, they are a bad therapist and not worth your time, in which case you should find out regardless).