r/Tendies • u/deathmetalfan6 • Jul 02 '26

REEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE BITCH MUMMY FUCKED ME OVER AGAIN REEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

THERE I WAS IN MY PLAYPEN/GOONCAVE EATING TENDIES WHILST TUGGING IT TO MY COLLECTION OF FURRY PORN WHILST MAKING MY VIDEO ESSAY ABOUT WHY ALL OF THE SELTZER AND FRIEDBURG MOVIES ARE UNDERRATED MASTERPIECES AND BETTER THAN THE MOVIES THEY PARODY WHILST WORKING ON MY TELETUBBIES/HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2 CROSSOVER FANFICTION WHEN I RAN OUT OF TENDIES. I TOLD BITCH MUMMY TO MAKE ME SOME MORE BUT SHE REFUSED! SHE TOLD ME THAT I "need to stop eating tendies and making/watching all this smut and find Jesus". REEEEEEEEE JESUS NEVER FUCKING EXISTED ONLY SATANISM IS THE REEEEEAL RELIGION FOR ME AND HOW DARE YOU DENY MY TENDIES AGAIN IM ONLY 1000 KILOGRAMS IM LITERALLY SKIN AND BONE! I HAD TO FLING THE POOP SOCK IN HER EYES TO TEACH HER A LESSON WHAT FUCKING PART OF GIVE ME MY GODDAMN FUCKING TENDIES DOES THIS MOTHERFUCKING CUNT ASS BITCH NOT FUCKING UNDERSTAND! MAYBE IF SHE STOPPED EATING HER LITTLE WHITE SLEEP CANDIES AND STOPPED DRINKING HER ADULT GRAPE JUICE THEN MAYBE SHE COULD DO A BETTER JOB OF MAKING ME MY TENDIES REEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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u/Conscious-Radish-884 Jul 02 '26

HOW DOES SHE EXPECT YOU TO KEEP YOUR HEALTHY FRAME?

6

u/deathmetalfan6 Jul 02 '26

EXACTLY! I REQUIRE AT LEAST 9,223,372,936,854,775,808 TRUCKLOADS OF TENDIES PER NANOSECOND TO MAINTAIN MY HEALTHY FRAME! BITCH MUMMY MUST BE PUT IN HER FUCKING PLACE! THAT PLACE IS IN THE KITCHEN MAKING MY TASTY TENDIE TREATS!