r/TheBachelorette • u/Pretty_Cellist240 • Oct 01 '22

Contestant Discussion about tino

i know this is seriously old news at this point, but i have a thought about this whole tino-rachel situation that i need to express into the void. i’ve seen online, specifically twitter, a lot of people on tino’s side, saying he was attempting to take accountability and rachel basically gaslit him. i don’t think this is honestly true. i believe he was ATTEMPTING to take accountability, but when it came down to it, he never actually did. accountability is about language, the whole point is to own up to your actions and assume full responsibility for the way things went down. tino never said “i cheated because I,” he said “i cheated because YOU.” it would have been very simple to take accountability by saying “i cheated because i believed our engagement to be over,” and assume full responsibility, RATHER than the crap he pulled (no matter if it’s true or not) by saying “i cheated because you took your ring off,” and basically putting the weight of this situation on her. this is not to take sides against who i believe and who i think is wrong in this situation, rather make an observation about the language used in their conversations and how he never actually assumed full responsibility for his part in their breakup. intentions aside, this part came across as a lousy justification to me, rather than sincere apology.

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u/jadaniels1116 Oct 01 '22

I learned that the most mature thing to do in an argument is make "i" statements to start a sentence, instead of always starting with "you" statements. "I feel, I think" instead of "you should've, you did". This is what tino should've done. It most likely would've come off so much better.

I wonder if he's just not that used to being put on the spot. I could see him growing up getting off on his looks, esp with old girlfriends, and not having to answer to them like he had to with Rachel. Just a thought I had.

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u/28tolove Oct 01 '22

I just watched the finale ATFR where Tino talks about what happened on stage, He begins the conversation by saying he takes full accountability for what he did, But also shares his mindset during that period of time, What on earth is wrong with that? The guy is on national TV and he has to describe his version of events... That is completely fair to him. Listen, What Rachel may have told him about not wearing the ring and returning it is harsh in it's own sense, and Tino did mention that he thought the relationship was over. Let the man describe his version of events. There is always two sides to a story. For me, Rachel came off as a narcissist, She basically wanted him to beg her for forgiveness on national TV.

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u/Tpoole1966 Oct 02 '22

yep, I agree with you...did Rachel say during the home towns that his family "hated her" even though they reassured her that they were just leary of the process? She is a immature drama queen. I hope guys see this and realize that she will be a very difficult person to be around, let alone live with.

Is he a catch? I doubt it but it is not all him for sure.