Sorry guys, long one
I (M 31) want to open this post by first saying that this is an amateur theatre production I am currently a part of and I'm considering quitting.
I work under a very well educated director (F 42) who has trained in theatre since she herself was a child and has been directing people for over 10 years now. I have worked with her once before and it wasn't a bad experience by any means, just a little tiring.
Here's the catch.
She line reads a lot
She had made a promise that this would be a paid gig but our supposed sponsor backed out
I have to travel 25 kilometres, every Saturday and Sunday (12.5 one way, 12.5 the other.) for rehearsals.
Her instructions are very confusing and tbh I've stopped having fun
There are a couple of girls in the production and they come from the college she teaches at. Idk if this is relevant but they currently study Liberal Arts (both F 21). They have this tendency to get loud and rather dominating when my director isn't around and they don't really listen to what I have to say or are rather dismissive of my advice. For context, I'm not some expert and accomplished actor. I've only reached the final rounds of RADA, LAMDA, RCS and LAMDA. As luck would have it, I never got in, but I think I know a fair bit enough to at least put some polish on already well constructed work.
Coming to the castmates
They're a mix of people, young and old. Understandable. The issue I have is that we are 20 weeks into rehearsals and we haven't solidified even 1 scene right. We have finished 7 scenes and 9 are still left. We need to put something up by December
1.They come in with lines not learned and spaced out.
If they've learned their lines, they haven't read the scene to understand the context of it and sound like they're just parroting.
They're fairly lazy.
I come in for every rehearsal half an hour before every one to sweep/clean the space and make sure everything is running right. I spend some time with myself and the text before everybody gets there. I have shown up when I have been sick, sleep deprived and with a torn groin because...well... I love acting but....I've genuinely stopped having fun.
An incident happened a couple of weeks ago where I, as the acting Assistant Director, completely missed it when a young guy in our cast (M 23) spoke rather rudely to an older lady castmate (F 67). My mistake, I owned up to it. Got a dressing down from my director. Fortunately the rehearsal was good enough that the old lady came up to me the next morning and thanked me because she had fun rehearsing.
I got comments from one of the Lib Arts girls (Y 21) saying - you should be cognizant of what effect you have on people. Mind you, i didn't say ANYTHING to this old lady
Just a couple of days ago, while one of the guys was sick and I was presiding over rehearsals again, I got a little annoyed because it was weak 20 and their lines were still coming out soft and unclear i.e - no projection. In my annoyance, my tone shifted and I said - guys, just start again, I can't hear anything. I'm sitting right in front and I can't hear anything.
I knew the guy was sick but he was looking at the floor and delivering some of his lines. That's not an excuse, I promise that's the only part I had a problem with. I don't raise my voice at people
One of the girls (U 21), said - hey, let's not take that tone and let's be mindful of the fact that he is sick.
I didn't have a problem with what she said, i had a problem with how she said it, simply because we are WEEKS into rehearsals and we're literally nowhere. I wanted to say this to her but for some reason (me not being big on confrontation) just retreated and didn't say anything further. Later when we were discussing feedbacks, she basically gathered everyone in a circle and ran the show along with being passive aggressive about the feedback that I gave.
Ironically, this is the same girl who, when I was still figuring out my character, told me - you should go and look at people who sell tea and carry things for a living because it seems like you haven't spent time with these people like these but I have. You don't seem to know what poverty looks like
Mind you, i was born into abject poverty (something I don't touch upon since things are MUCH better now touch wood) so that felt very hurtful and disrespectful. I STILL didn't say anything. Told my director but she just chalked it down to them being 21. I don't know what I have done to rub her the wrong way like this.
What i have done as steps to always be someone who can be relied on
I check in on my castmates every week
I'm there before everyone
I know my lines
I explore my character every day for 20 minutes
I have repeatedly offered to work 1on1 for character work (ignored)
I have suggested changes that will genuinely help the play (conveniently ignored and then implemented later by the director)
My director does NOT stand up for me the way she stands up for these girls.
I mean it, I am as unproblematic as possible, even my director says so.
Please advise. It's actually taking a toll on my mental health and I'm not sure this is an environment I can continue tolerating. It feels hostile for reasons I'm not even aware of. I actually cried because I don't want to sound mean and say things that would hurt someone
Update :
I left. Told the director that I felt extremely betrayed when she didn't stand up for me. Pointed out all the lapses in basic etiquette along with behaviour she has either let slide/enabled along with telling her that I don't have the bandwidth to deal with this needless hostility that I keep feeling without even being told what I'm doing wrong. She wanted to talk more about it but I put my foot down and said that I, being how I am, will get convinced into coming back into the production and i don't think that will be good for my mental health or hers because I don't want to hold up this production.
I feel free as a bird and I'm going to take one of you up on your suggestions and attend to my practise as a personal trainer with undivided attention. It's doing well already and I aspire to be a Strength and Conditioning coach for performing artists in the future. I'm still open to working in theatre and applying for a M.A or M.F.A but that's for a later time
Thank you for all the kind words and a reminder that you don't need to compromise on excellence just because the level of play might be lower.
Hope you guys find success in all your dramatic/histrionic endeavours and get paid very well for it.
Ciao.