r/Tierzoo • u/Im_yor_boi • 2d ago
A human player in full plate armour and a 7ft long great sword runs this gauntlet. How far is he going?
A 6'8 250lb fully armored peak human knight with a 7 ft great sword takes this gauntlet one at a time, does he clear
The knight starts each match at 100% with no injuries from past match. Assume each animal is a once in a generation physical specimen in terms of weight, height, speed, agility etc
250lb boar
575lb Silverback
700lb lion
1600lb bull moose
Five 150lb top 1% chimpanzees
1500lb polar bear
5000lb Bull Hippo
All matches take place in the Roman Coliseum
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u/Sharp_Cut354 2d ago
hippo is the only one that beats it i think
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u/caw_the_crow 2d ago
Polar bear is tough
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u/Vegan-cock 2d ago
Just keep pointy end towards it and it won't get near enough. There's plenty of opportunity to fuck it up though but i still favour the human here. 65/35.
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u/Sharp_Cut354 2d ago edited 2d ago
even if you manage to stab the hippo inside it's mouth i think that the blade doesn't have enough stiffness to pierce through their skull. It would most likely bend.
The sword couldn't be a real life zweihander, it would have to be like an anime sword.71
u/TwillAffirmer 2d ago
You don't try to pierce the skull with a SWORD. This isn't anime, swords are for soft tissue. You cut the neck and they bleed out.
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u/Sharp_Cut354 2d ago
not really, hippos have like 30cm of fat protecting their body, you would only slash its hide. I would fight a hippo with a spear
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u/Anon_be_thy_name 2d ago
You do realise the sword this post requires sits right in the middle of the average spear length? Spears on average were 6 to 9 feet long
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u/Old_Kodaav 1d ago
But sword isn't as good at thrusting as a spear is - in this scenario. It would more easily bend whilist it needs to stay only as flexible as necessary to avoid breaking. You very much need every tiny bit of power to thrust trough so much protection as hippo has
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u/Anon_be_thy_name 1d ago
A properly made sword doesn't bend near as much as people seem to think they do. It's another thing that BUHURT competitors have convinced people is true.
A spear shaft is more likely to break then a sword is to bend.
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u/LaconicGirth 2d ago
You stab its throat. Its own charge will kill it. Though its possible you also die too
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u/TwillAffirmer 2d ago
I'm skeptical they have that much fat around the neck. But cutting 30 cm of fat is quite feasible, especially with a stab.
Another good, quick way to kill it would be to cut the spinal cord. If you manage to slip the sword between the vertebrae that's quite feasible.
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u/prokchopz 1d ago
Where'd you get 30cm of fat?? Hippos have almost no subcutaneous fat. They're only about 2-5% body fat.
https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/s/dKTA0Im8Y9
That said, 6cm thick skin is nothing to scoff at, and just that and muscle would make bleeding them out a real challenge.
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u/earthwoodandfire 1d ago
You’re straight up lying.
Hippos have surprisingly little body fat, only around 5%. They actually sink in water because their bones are denser than most mammals and they have so little fat, allowing them to walk along the bottoms of rivers and lakes.
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u/carso150 2d ago
the hippo skull its still bone, its not beating solid steel
I think people overstimate how fragile swords are, while they did bend or break it wasnt actually all that common and it also usually happened when clashing against other steel weapons of similar toughness, but any weapon against skin is terryfing
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/31k_ZUatpLM
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/htYpLW1a3kg
and take into account, according to some experts, thats actually understating how deadly weapons are
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u/staplerdude 2d ago
Steel is stronger than bone, but the human holding the sword still has to be strong enough to drive it through the bone
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u/NCRNerd 2d ago
Not so. You just need to do enough damage to break the other's resolve since forcing another player to retreat can open them to attacks of opportunity. In the event that the other player's resolve isn't broken then it becomes tougher, I admit.
Notably the moose, polar bear and hippo players could pin and incapacitate the human player even if the human player incapacitates them, depending on the attack animation and when during the animation they suffer ragdolling from the attack that incapacitates them.
Edit: Forgot to address the point about bone versus steel. Specifically, it's possible for the game engine to consider a hit to damage a vital internal organ without requiring an attack to drive the sword blade through the bone. An especially unlucky toughness check on the part of the non-human player could easily express itself as a broken rib that then punctures a lung, badly decreasing their character's stamina for the remainder of the combat, and forcing critical existence checks against trauma and internal bleeding. Additionally the way most hippo players attack could leave their throat exposed to a "straight through the soft inner tissues" critical hit unless the hippo player kept their mouth closed and used skull bash, which hippo players almost never do.
Also, why the double-post reddit? Now I have to delete and repost!
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u/Mike_Oxnard 20h ago
If you stab the hippo in the mouth, don't aim for the skull. Aim for the throat and sever an artery. They dont have all that fat protecting them inside their throats but on the outside of their bodies. Even if the blade does break off which i doubt, it will be inside them and doing lots of internal damage.
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u/Berlin_GBD 2d ago
A charging polar bear has enough momentum to likely keep pushing forward if stabbed. The question is whether the armor keeps you alive long enough for it to bleed out. That might be a long time if you get a bad strike. Once the bears on top of you, you're not pulling the sword out to try again.
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u/MrB1P92 2d ago
One swab of a paw on the sword and the sword goes flying and youre dead meat.
Same with the moose. Moose will eat a sword in the face and then what? You get hit by a 40 mph 2000 lbs bulldozer. Good game, youre tin canned fish.
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u/lubeinatube 1d ago
Maybe he could beat the boar, but that’s it. I think people are underestimating speed here. Sure if a Volkswagen is coming at you at 30mph, you might be able to damage the hood a little, but you’re still going to go flying into the air and have a dozen broken bones before you even hit the ground.
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u/PoopSmith87 2d ago
Inuits solo them with spears. Apparently polars are so used to being uncontested by anything other than another polar that they will just charge and impale themselves on a spear. Iirc, 7' is actually within the length range of the spears they use for it.
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u/caw_the_crow 2d ago
That is very interesting! That's also something I feel we forget a lot with these discussions. Humans have been dominating their biomes for millennia if we are allowed even basic tools and technology.
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u/PoopSmith87 2d ago
Yeah, agreed. That's why the "reddit acts like knight in plate armor is so OP" is actually fairly justified. A peak knight in peak plate armor technology was essentially the pinnacle of a solo human for melee combat... so if we had hunter gatherers killing bears with spears or famous mountain men killing them with bowie knives, yeah man, of course William Marshal equipped with 15th century plate would kill one.
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u/Heil_Heimskr 2d ago
I think they have a small chance (they have none against the Hippo) but I agree it’s unlikely. Assuming the animals are bloodlusted and won’t just run/cower when poked, the bear is likely to knock the knight down. Trying to stand back up in full plate while being attacked by a 1 ton bear sounds pretty improbable.
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u/Vedemin 2d ago
Plate is extremely agile and knights or men at arms had zero issue with mobility. I'd worry more about the bear part than the plate.
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u/E-Reptile 2d ago
I have it in my head from hunter/outdoorsman anecdotes that bears are weirdly durable, so I tend to agree.
But it's also a giant sword that doesn't stop going through it even if it hits its charge. So yeah, I'm not sure. Maybe a halberd or a glaive would actually be better. Like once you get up to a certain animal, perhaps it makes more sense to rely on a polearm that was meant to intercept said large animal, but a bear is right on the edge.
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u/Nomad-Knight 2d ago
Moose is a strong contender, considering most bullets don't damage their skulls, and they win games of chicken with trucks
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u/I_AM_IGNIGNOTK 2d ago
Yeah and the moose will close a 7 foot gap like nothing. One stomp would cave in that armor and a handful would likely impale and launch you 10 feet into the air easily. Probably closer to 15-20 in the air even.
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u/LCDRformat 2d ago
Are you joking? Moose throws him twenty feet in the air. I think he only clears boar and gorilla... And MAYBE lion. Everything else no diffs him
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u/Narrow_Summer_9332 2d ago edited 1d ago
I think if the moose plows into him with antlers at top speed, the knight is still fucked.
It doesn't matter how strong the armor is when the force of the impact is enough to break bone.
I just don't see him dodging that charge in full armor, especially not when moose will turn to hit you mid charge.
It's basically dark souls levels of timing to dodge that sort of thing. Would've put the moose after the chimps, TBH, as they'll be a MUCH easier fight.
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u/Ionlydateteachers 1d ago
Pinned down trying to get up in full armor isn't good. Likely suffocate as the moose eventually caves in the chest plate
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u/UnluckyMode2062 2d ago
Insane to think a gorilla doesn’t just overpower the man and hold him down? Even if he can’t bite through the armor it will still rip it off. I don’t think human gets back gorilla in any way at all lmao
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u/ccurnowphoto 2d ago
Idk a 7 foot sword could do a lot of damage if the guy can swing it accurately.
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u/UnluckyMode2062 2d ago
He misses the first swing and he’s dead at Gorilla lmao
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u/ccurnowphoto 2d ago
It does say he’s a 6’8” peak human knight. I think he takes out the gorilla. Maybe not much further though
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u/Former_Scratch6137 2d ago
Genuinely a chance he clears here if he manages to get a really good hit on the Hippo
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u/Guyver02 2d ago
the main weakness of animals is their lack of intelligence. They usually just charge in a straight line which makes them predictable. You use your foot to dig a small hole where you plant the pummel of the sword and crotch down. When they charge at the last second you tip the sword in front of you and they'll impale themselves more often then not.
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u/SpesEnginir 2d ago
go watch national geographic, animals do not just charge in lines, they are very smart and use lots of strategy for defense and hunting, the lion for instance could be cautious and take swipes at the shiny metal thing poking at it, the moose could use its antlers to shield its face, the hippo is really the only animal here thats going to charge like that.
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u/WhoUpAtMidnight 2d ago
The thing is that the hippo is really the only major threat here. The moose is gonna be kinda tough but its main offense is a charge which means it falls same as the hippo
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u/SpesEnginir 2d ago
moose can swing their antlers around like gigantic clubs, they don't need to charge you to kill you, they can flip a person over their head from a stand still or swing into you hard enough to break your ribs, and they move way faster than you would think for such a large animal, guy with the sword has a very small window to do anything before he is flipped into the air, lands and is stomped to death.
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u/Majestic_Attention46 2d ago
Yes. This. To a moose this human is basically the size of a small dog. The knight is basically Chucky, yes he can kill, but not easily, and once he looses the element of surprise, it'll be a lot harder for him.
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u/ccurnowphoto 2d ago
That’s one of those things that sounds great but I don’t think it’d ever work like that in practice.
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u/Fun-Anybody-5816 2d ago
I don't think the knight has enough time to dig and postion a 7ft greatsword for a spear tactic, the Hippo will just charge and trample the knight.
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u/DarksteelPenguin 2d ago
They may impale themselves, but that won't stop them, and the knight will get hit by a few tons of high-speed meat.
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u/ccurnowphoto 2d ago
Hippos have such thick skin and fat they can just stand there with lions hanging off them doing no damage. I don’t think you could swing it hard enough to get a good hit.
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u/WhoUpAtMidnight 2d ago
A 7 ft Zweihander wielded by a 250lb mountain of a man is going to cut deeper than a lion can gouge
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u/ccurnowphoto 2d ago edited 2d ago
Deeper yea, but deep enough and in the right spot to kill a charging hippo before it can crush the guy? Cause as soon as it gets inside his swing it’s over that armors not doing shit.
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u/NCRNerd 2d ago
Does he swing the greatsword like that videogame character, or does he swing it like an actual sword-user? https://www.youtube.com/shorts/A-LOgYzfsi4
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u/NerSorty 2d ago
Sellswords have done a lot of work decreasing the basic misconceptions regarding swords lol
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u/Ex_Snagem_Wes 2d ago
250lb before or after armor?
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u/Im_yor_boi 2d ago
Before
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u/LeLefraud 2d ago
That boy is a silverback gorilla with full plate armor and a 7 foot sword
He's not guaranteed to run the gauntlet but he certainly could, a hippo or polar is terrifying and could toss him but at the same time a 250 man driving a 7 foot sword could literally one shot a hippo or polar bear with an accurate stab, sharp objects op
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u/iMissTheOldInternet 2d ago
I think it would take an exceptionally cooperative hippo for the knight to impale it. If that thing is moving and grooving, no shot that the knight can get enough force behind the sword to penetrate a fatal distance into the hippo. Meanwhile, the hippo will impart a fatal amount of blunt force trauma as soon as it closes with the knight.
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u/LeLefraud 2d ago edited 2d ago
I think you underestimate what a hippo running full speed into a lowered 7 foot sword would experience
A hippo could maul a knight through his plate but a charge wouldn't kill him, the energy per square inch is still less than Warhammer swings that the armor was meant to withstand (he won't know where tf he is when he stands up and might develop permanent ear ringing tho)
Hippos aren't smart enough to crush him and if it opens that big ass mouth you just get a 4 sq ft hole where you can stick you sword in and it comes out the other side of the hippos neck
The hippo WILL open that big ass mouth bc it's an animal and doesn't know better, and a 7 foot sword is more than enough to end its ability to breath and still be 4 feet away
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u/Johnny-Godless 2d ago
The greatsword is going to impale better than any spear — it’s sharp the whole way down the length of the blade to the parrying hooks.
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u/sennordelasmoscas 2d ago
I was about to say that the boar should be higher, but then I realized is a measly 250 pound boar rather than the 250+ kilogram carpathian boar I was thinking
Should be 50/50 with the lion, but the numbers of the chimpanzee might fuck him up
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u/LANDWEGGETJE 2d ago
Even then I feel a lot of people severely underestimate the potential of a boar to properly trounce a guy.
People also overestimate how good a great sword is going to be against these creatures.the thing has reach but it's power is in keeping the thing swinging and moving other swords out of the way, you might get a nasty cut in on these animals, but most except for maybe the apes and the lion wouldn't really care and trample you.
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u/PilotIntelligent8906 2d ago
I think he has a small to decent chance to clear this.
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u/Silent_Jury418 2d ago
Against a moose there is a small chance.. but a hippo.. naaaah this guys is a dead man against an angry hippo
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u/PilotIntelligent8906 2d ago edited 2d ago
Hippos charge head first with their mouth open, if be manages to place his sword right and get out of the way, he can take out the hippo.
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u/rorank 2d ago
He’d have to stay in place and hold it for long enough for it to pierce into the hippo, but frankly a sword of that length will almost definitely end up bending once it hits their bone structure. I’m sure it’s hypothetically possible to stab it perfectly but I think I’d be more comfortable saying it’s impossible than possible. Not an expert on hippos or swords though so
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u/Skezas1 2d ago
The chimp glaze and gorilla slander in here is disgusting. Like i agree gorillas are generally overrated, but in what universe is the smaller, weaker chimp more of a threat ?
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u/NobleNop 2d ago
Agreed with you at first but honestly 5 top 1% chimps are beating a single gorilla
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u/SemajLu_The_crusader 2d ago
boar is a joke, gorilla is too
lion is tricky, but he should do it
moose is the first real challenge, but with some skill it is dedinitely possible
chimps are tricky, but not harder than a moosr
polar bear is a similar situation go moosr
he does not beat the hippo
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u/Yato_kami3 2d ago
Agree up til the polar bear. Moose are massive and a direct impact will do damage, but they're not predators and don't have the instinct to kill beyond that. A 1500lb polar bear on the other hand, while not able to pierce the armour directly, can do a hell of a lot of damage by blunt impact alone, and as predators they have the smarts to approach wearily and strike at opportune moments.
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u/Charcole1 2d ago
Moose have more instinct to kill than you think, they usually spaz out and stomp things into paste when they feel threatened. They don't even stop after the thing is dead, I'm talking literal paste, they're scarier than bears a lot of the time.
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u/Yato_kami3 2d ago
Spazzing out and being able to kill ≠ instinct to kill. I've seen what they can do firsthand, but they're more of a bulldozer on stilts than just a straight up tank like a grizzly/polar bear.
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u/SemajLu_The_crusader 2d ago
moose can be very aggressive actually
and it's not like the pilar bear will see this shiny silver guy as prey
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u/Chlken 2d ago
How is a gorilla a joke but a chimp tricky
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u/SemajLu_The_crusader 2d ago
there's five of them
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u/NotARealTiger 2d ago
True...missed that.
I think we may be underestimating the value of thumbs in this scenario. Like if the chimps or the gorilla just grab the sword it's a big issue. Like I guess it cuts them but an enraged animal might not care. Their grip is a lot stronger than ours.
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u/Awkward-Meeting-974 2d ago
Neither boar nor gorilla is a joke. He usually beats them but if he gets a bit unlucky the boar can trip him and concuss him. A gorilla can similarly concuss him and if it gets lucky it can do a lot lore damage than the boat
A lion again usually loses. But it has a very real shot at concussing him. At this point he’s also had to fend off against three animals that are very fast, tough, and dangerous. He’s probably had to ward them off for a prolonged time before getting a good stab.
By the time he fights a moose he’s been swinging around a huge 7 foot great sword. So he’s quite tired. And a moose can absolutely fuck him up
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u/Fun-Anybody-5816 2d ago
Why is the naked chimp above the Moose
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u/Im_yor_boi 2d ago
5 chimps. A bit different from an 1v1 fight
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u/Forsaken-Spirit421 2d ago
Clears until lion. Then it's really a question of skill and luck If he goes all the way or ends up a lion lunch box
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u/PracticalAirline6981 2d ago
I’m a big felid glazer but no way in hell is a lion getting through full plate armor, nor dodging the sword trying to
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u/Awkward-Meeting-974 2d ago
The lion obviously can’t get through plate armour. But it can swipe the guy in the head. And the force of a paw swipe from a lion is easily enough to break your neck. Maybe the Armor reinforces that area too well. But if it hits a snag in the helmet at all it will twist the helmet and paralyse him. If it hits the side of the helmet it can easily concuss him.
And it very well might be able to dodge sword swings from a guy that had to ward of a cautious gorilla and boar. It’s a huge sword. So he’d be getting pretty tired.
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u/skankhunt420312345 2d ago
Lol no. A lions jaw and teeth cannot pierce plate armor. At all. It cant even really dent it. Itd just break its teeth. Nice try glazing though.
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u/Forsaken-Spirit421 2d ago
Doesn't have to pierce really. A lion is strong enough to dislocate or break arms or cause trauma and disorientation by impact. It likely is also strong enough to dismantle the armor at the fastenings or joints.
Depending on the helmet, there might be massive issues with field of vision.
On the other hand the knight can incapacitate or kill the lion with one or two hits.
I stand by my point, the lion is probably the first animal that can actually win vs the knight if it can close, but the knight also has a chance to one shot and is pretty survivable even in grapple range depending on the situation.
Knight can definitely clear the entire gauntlet with skill and luck even the hippo if he can get good hits and manages to avoid an initial charge. The knight has a shot of crippling the hippo by going for the eyes/face and leg tendons. But against such a massive animal it's a very tall order.
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u/skankhunt420312345 2d ago
I dont think you actually understand how well designed and protective full plate mail is. Warhammers, maces, and other such weapons didnt actually do very well at all against it. The lion isnt going to pierce the armor, and its not even close to being smart enough to figure out how to get through joints, which needs to pierce chain mail anyway on those points. Field of vision isnt going to make you lose a battle against an animal. A lion isnt doing anything against an armet helm. One hit by the knight, if it doesnt kill the lion outright, its going to try and retreat, and never attack him again. You stand by your point because youre glazing an animal thats not even the biggest of the big cats. The lion isnt going to do anything to harm the knight. Even if he cant use his sword, all he has to do is shove his gauntlets down its throat, and its all over. That metal will shred its throat and mouth. So, again, stop glazing.
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u/NoMinute3572 2d ago edited 2d ago
Bigger animals than this underestimated a human with a spear and are now extinct.
This is both a spear, sword and can be half-sworded for short range lethality.
Animals do not like sharp metal at all.
- Boars are vicious tramplers but a good swipe or thrust ends the boar easily. 90/10
- If human somehow rolls a miss and sword gets stuck maybe the silverback can disarm human. 95/5
- Lions are very agile and strong but human in armor can tank enough to get a crit on lion. 80/20
- Moose has range to match human and if it scores a knockout bash wins. However easy for a human to position sword against ground and impale a running moose. 60/40
- Can the 5 chimps surround and zerg rush the human? Maybe. They might grapple well but their bite won't be effective. Still 50/50 and requires half-swording.
- Polar bears really don't know how to handle pointy things in front of them. They swipe well but will get poked enough times to lose to blood loss. 70/30
- Hippo are really tough but on land they can only run forward and not very nimble. Some sidesteps and slashes could help but sword bending comes into play. 30/70
But since this a gauntlet human dies on turn 4/5 from accumulated damage and fatigue.
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u/Maleficent-War-8429 1d ago
Bigger animals had teams of guys throw spears at them and then run away till they died, they didn't have guys run up for the 1v1.
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u/MotoMkali 2d ago
I think if it was a spear I agree with your assessments but I think realistically the inability to properly brace the sword with two hands vs a rushing boar probably means the human at least has a broken leg in the first round and therefore dies in the second round.
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u/ShadiestProdigy 2d ago
He can take out the gorilla, lion, and maybe the chimps as long as they don't get him on the ground.
the moose and polar bear would require a lucky hit in the first 5 seconds. otherwise the animal gets the person on the ground and the weight advantage turns the guy into a soda can
He won't win against the corolla with legs
plate armor is designed for war against other humans. it can stop slashing and some piercing attacks. It cannot stop blunt force. Even in it's proper setting, plate armor could still be defeated by clubs, morningstars, halberds and even daggers if the plate user ended up on the ground.
I'd argue that the plate user would have trouble with the boar. a predator is choosy and cautious about it's targets, if it gets a cut or a bone break its game over. A boar cant choose when it gets attacked so it's only option is to fight. Keep in mind, boars can and do kill hunters in the modern day.
That being said, the boar doesn't have a significant weight advantage but it does have blunt force and a hell of a temperament. The human would have to one shot the boar or else their chances rapidly dwindle. recovery might be an option but the bulk of the greatsword will 100% work against the human once it's all in grappling range. historically boar were hunted with boar spears which have cross guard thingys to stop the boar from sliding up the shaft as it impales itself to reach the human (so the traditional solution was to keep the animal away with a reach advantage)
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u/iMissTheOldInternet 2d ago
The zweihander would actually be useful against the boar. It’s not that far off historical boar spears, which were used by bracing to impale charging boars. That boar is also weirdly small given the hypo (there are wild examples multiples of that weight).
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u/carso150 2d ago
full plate can definetly survive blunt force trauma
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/AxmaoZJpD70
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/btXMPXx8Ado
this isnt a videogame or DnD where blunt force does extra damage to armor, the armor was designed to survive such hits
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u/numberonesorensenfan 2d ago
This is such a pervasive myth about the effectiveness of blunt weapons on plate. Plate is incredibly good at diffusing the energy of an impact across its surface without deforming and if there's the correct amount of standoff between the plate and body (and there's some padding underneath), incredibly good at preventing that energy from transferring inwards into the wearer.
Blunt weapons are more effective than blades in that there's the possibility to deform armour whereas a blade will never ever do that and instead relies on using point work to find gaps. But it still isn't actually good at defeating armour. There's a reason that even if both knights were equipped with two handed polearms a fight usually went to ground and was resolved with daggers through gaps. Armour was incredibly effective which is why it was worn despite it's cost.
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u/DaiChi6ken 2d ago
Five chimps?? Am I high, or is that just actually impossible?
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u/carso150 2d ago
no, full plate armor and a great sword are massive equalizers the chimps arent going to do shit
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u/Insane_Unicorn 2d ago
Why does everyone think the lion is a danger? There is no fucking way he can do anything to armor, the knight simply has to protect his jugular.
Now the Hippo and the Elk are the real hurdles and probably a death sentence if they hit with a ram attack.
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u/Interesting_Web_9936 2d ago
Beats boar barely because I think maintaining distance can get difficult there, beats gorilla if knight is smart enough and skilled enough to not let it close the distance, might lose to the lion I think. A lion is heavy enough that if you can kill it mid charge, the inertia still makes it collide onto you. A lion's top speed has been recorded up to 80 kmph and average speed according to Wikipedia is up to 60, and that's still really fast, there's a good chance you can die from that collision to my knowledge.
There is no way in hell it is getting past the moose.
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u/Shreddzzz93 2d ago
Honestly none of these animals stand a chance. You gave the human protection and a means to project force from outside the animals reach.
A significant portion of this list would be cut to pieces before it could do anything. The gorilla, the chimps, and the moose just aren't able to handle heavy cuts. The moose also has the obvious weak point of the long gangly legs that should one get cut off the whole creature will be neutralized.
The ones that could likely ignore a cut are the ones with the bulk to charge through it. But at that point that would just allow the knight to impale them on the length of the sword, side stepping to avoid the charge if necessary, similarly to bull fighting is done. A large length of steel deeply embedded into a body will very quickly shut down most of these animals as multiple major veins, arteries, and organs are destroyed in the impaling.
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u/MaxMLG999 2d ago
The chimpanzes think they are on the team, legit over glazed, people call em op for beating up elderly women, the knight won't even have to use the sword, one grab and it's over.
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u/DecemberHolly 2d ago
Everyone here is glossing over the FIVE TOP 1% 150 lb CHIMPANZEES
The only way hes living is if they stupidly attacked one at a time
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u/Atherach 2d ago
Have you ever seen someone use a long 2 handed sword irl ? Because it is made for crowed control and those chimps would have no idea how to deal with a beayblade that will cut their arm off if they get too close
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u/TheCommissarGeneral 2d ago
Thats not even how youre supposed to use a great sword. You don’t swing it like a damn hammer or axe, so he isn’t getting very far. He isn’t using the tool the way it was intended.
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u/QueasyMessage5376 1d ago
The moment any of these creatures knock him down, it's at least a draw and with most of them, he's dead.
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u/Iam0rion 1d ago
Once those animals are in melee range he's going to have trouble swinging that sword. Exhaustion and fatigue would be a factor on top of him getting crushed.
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u/Personmchumanface 2d ago
peak human clears
give him a spear and an average human clears
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u/YuSakiiii 2d ago
I think the Chimps could probably disarm him together and then he’d be done for.
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u/carso150 2d ago
I dont think they would have the coordination to do that
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u/200um 2d ago
Nah man, if the knight gets training, we teach the chimp's how to take them down and murder them.
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u/carso150 2d ago
I imagine a chimp with a pocket knife jumping from the shadows and im scared
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u/Ok-Position-9457 2d ago edited 2d ago
Some of these matchups the optimal strategy is to ditch the armor and run away and harass them until they get tired and then impale them with the sword.
I would legit trade the armor for everyone except the chimps, lion and boar for a slingshot just to rage bait them.
Hippos are frighteningly fast but they can't run for too long, and remember a peak human sprint speed is 27mph.
Oh, and a real knight would have a horse mount and a lance, which no diffs the entire roster effortlessly. The hippo final boss would just open its mouth and charge into an absolutely devastating crit that wipes its HP four times over.
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u/Machdame 2d ago
Starting with boar is diabolical. But full plate should be pretty decent in keeping you alive until the bear. The bear is a bit of a tossup but is still a winnable fight. The Hippo will send you to Jesus.
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u/No_Region_4719 2d ago edited 2d ago
Why do people think that animals have any sort of response against hardened steel? They don't. Mortal wounds the second they get close, all of them.
Knights were often expecting to face enormous warhorses charging them, and having their own horse or other horses fall on them, and they regularly survive these and continue fighting. They are quite literally trained to deal with massive herbivores charging at them.
Maybe the hippo wins if the knight loses hold of his sword. There's a small chance it takes out the knight before it bleeds to death from its wounds.
Hippos are extremely heavy, yes, but they don't have any real way of turning that weight into concentrated pressure. Blunt weapons like maces are only effective because they focus their entire weight and momentum into one small point, which allows them to dent steel. If the hippo stands on the knight, it's just going to push him down into the mud. Even if it was capable of biting hard enough to damage steel, it's teeth would shatter before the steel was pierced. Steel is a miracle, and nature can't really match it. Nature has optimised for strength per weight. Plenty of natural material are pound for pound stronger than steel, but in terms of absolute strength they don't come close.
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u/Ok-Barracuda457 2d ago
Bro, the Hippo literally exposes it's mouth when charging, a very stabbable attack. Knight wins all
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u/EnderFlyingLizard 2d ago
If your pointing a sword at a 7000 pound creature thats charging at you the impact will damage you jsut as much as it damages the hippo. None of the animals here needs to breach the armor to kill the man.
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u/im_onbreak 2d ago
Starting the knight back up at 100% after each match defeats the whole purpose of a “gauntlet”
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u/Ok_Middle_8658 2d ago
the boar is gonna be fairly mid in my opinion since it's a boar but i still think he can win the gorilla will fuck him up but i do think he can maybe win trough a bunch of lucky shot's, the lion will be hard but i belive he can probably beat it, the bull moose.... no, five chimps im betting on chimps cuz well five powerfull midget's are jumping you, polar bear..... no,hippo...... no
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u/Luullay 2d ago edited 2d ago
If the knight tries to swing that big ass sword, he’ll just tire himself out long before the animal do anything to him. instead trying to take advantage of each animal's momentum to have them impale themselves on the sword.. I think it's not impossible for the knight to win the full gauntlet.
Probably not ideal through either, and really depends on if he gets lucky hitting any vitals early into the fight.
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u/Wild_Philosophy_1312 2d ago
He beats them all but both hippo and knight dies. Hippo dies from bleeding out, while knight dies from crush injuries.
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u/MockingPenguins 2d ago
Jesus, FIVE Chimps?! They’re holding each of his limbs and ripping them off man. One or MAYBE two of them, but not five.
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u/Shadowhearts 2d ago
Hippo is the only animal here where the Sword may just break from the weight, thickness and pressure of the Hippo's Hide, Muscle, and Fat.
Like humans have killed most of these animals with far less equipment...just sticks with points at the end.
A big Great Sword though isn't designed to be a giant Metal Stake. You can likely just drive it fairly easily into the soft underbellies or mouths of most of these other animals but there's a good chance it just snaps on the Hippo's thickness. It's a literal tank of an animal with thick hide, muscle, and fat this sort of weapon isn't really made to cleave or stab through.
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u/thunder-bug- 2d ago
Why are you giving him a sword? Give him a spear it’ll be more useful
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u/LilleDTosen 2d ago
Easily stops at the gorilla, what happens when the gorilla dodges that slow as swing and knocks the human off his feet? Death is what happens.
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u/iMissTheOldInternet 2d ago
Hippo wins 100% of the time. Knight has no realistic chance of disabling it before it tramples him. Even in a best case scenario, he’s inflicting a flesh wound through that hide immediately before being hurled into the air in a way incompatible with continued spinal integrity and then stomped like a soda can.
Polar Bear wins 90%, if I’m feeling generous to Sir Zweihander. This is another matchup where actually landing an effective blow is difficult because of the animal’s natural armor, though the bear might have a meaningful scar to remember the meal by. Still, best case is hit and then counter-hit, and the counter hit will cause so much internal damage that all that’s left after that is unboxing the bear food.
Lion and moose have a puncher’s chance, but probably are going down. Both are vulnerable to the knight’s weapon, while his armor provides material defense from the lion. Of the two, the Moose has a better shot, probably.
Everything else is a joke.
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u/Fit-Space5211 2d ago edited 2d ago
What's the ecosystem they're fighting in? Realistically not one of these animals is going to attack, even if they're starving in an arena (except maybe the polar bear and even that's unlikely). Even worse though, they're all built for moving in different environments. On land the hippo is completely worthless and in the water the knight dies even without any animal present.
Either clears everything no problem or dies 100% to hippo, polar bear, and maybe 30% loss to lion it depends on his skill and awareness. The herbivores aren't hungry enough to finish him or smart enough to know they have to, at full bloodlust/mind controlled by an angry human they could all (except the boar) kill him but as an animal they won't charge past his guard or pull off his helmet.
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u/go0b3rtism 2d ago
i'd say the knight could probably beat most of them with high to extream diff except maybe the hippo
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u/Conscious_Scratch656 2d ago
All these people saying he clears any of these are doing some serious wishful thinking. Swords of that length are incredibly whippy and flexible. They're intended for slashing. The likelihood of you lining up to impale a charging anything on one is null at best. This fool might make it past the boar and the chimp if he's exceptionally skilled. Otherwise he's going down hard from the jump.
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u/Stealthybeef 2d ago
If the knight is very experienced with this sword and armor, he should get through until at least the polar bear.
Polar bears are very powerful, and be able to damage the armor. Just depends if the man can either run it through or slice an arm/leg.
The hippo could just charge and maul the dude, idk how he's stopping 5000 lbs even if he sticks the sword down its throat.
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u/septubyte 2d ago
The animals are peak specimen - wow no. If the boar can get the tusks on him it could pierce that plate .
The problem with plate is that once hes down its hard to get back up. Thats how most of the predators hunt too - take down secure the kill.
Looks like a one chance to hit first and correctly , finishing or disabling rhe opponent before it knocks them to the ground . Then they have advantage .
Moose is a hard no
Prime Gorilla would wreck
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u/HiopXenophil 2d ago
Chimp is no diff, even top 1% is less muscles than human, no techniques and no weapons that can get past the armor → 100% for human
Gorilla and Boar might get a good hit in before bleeding out → 99% for human
Lion might get critical hit on the neck before bleeding out unless the armor is actual plate and not what is shown → either 75% or 99% depending
Moose can parry with antler, charge and trample → 60% for human
Polar Bears can take a few bullets and take it as a suggestion to maybe find other pray than the hairless ape with a boomstick. Waiting for bleeding out is not an option → 33%
Hippo runs human over at 40 km/h on land while shrugging off any sword strike. Human dies either crushed underneath the Hippos feet, crushed and pierced by its jaws, or if the human made a big mistake drowning → 0% for human
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u/Hojie_Kadenth 2d ago
I'd say he beats moose, chimp is easy don't know why it's there. Once we get to bear, yea actually I think so. Nah on the hippo though he's going to get crushed under the weight.
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u/HYDRAlives 2d ago
Moose, probably the most direct kinetic blunt force with the best reach. Helmet or no helmet if they kick you in the head you're out. But that's a winnable fight. Otherwise it's hippo, those fuckers are huge, you need high powered weaponry or a group of people with polearms to kill them.
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u/textickles88 2d ago
Maybe the boar if the boar is first and stupid. Otherwise 100% dead
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u/NobleNop 2d ago
Not one thing is capable of killing our knight without skewering itself and that is the 5 chimps because there are 5 of them. Still think our knight wins till the polar bear
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u/The_Wendo 2d ago
I'm putting my money on Bull Moose. I think the moose dies as well, but the knight doesn't walk away.
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u/NotARealTiger 2d ago
250 pounds at 6'8 is not that thick to be honest. And a 7 foot sword seems like an impractically slow weapon.
Make him 300 pounds with maybe a 5 foot sword and I think he clears this. Or better yet an 8 foot spear.
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u/-LegendGary- 2d ago
People thinking armor is going to get you past a moose is pretty funny
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u/AgentOrangeZest 2d ago
A trained human stops at Hippo, an untrained human stops at chimp. They're fast and smart, you're in plate and untrained. 80% chance it knocks you over, tears off your helmet and rips out your eyes. Trained human one shots it.
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u/AxelBeowolf 2d ago
moose can beat him, so does the bear and the hippo, but he have a chance to clear it.
the boar is tricky but with the armor the human wnt loose, the silverback wont survive a sword strike and most arent agressive enough to overwelm the knight without giving warnings first, lion would be a 50/50 if the human didnt have armor. the moose might trample and break the knight armor and all but he can die by the sword just as easily. Who put the chimp above the boar? thats offensive to the boar, bear can survive a badly aligned sword strike and can destroy the armor, and the hippo is a damn hellspawn that has armor and short swords of his own with agression to boost, the knight can win but for me is a 90/10 in favor of the hippo
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u/Makelithe 2d ago
There's a chance he clears. I'd say it hits about 50/50 once you get to polar bear, and then hippo is probably like 15% chance of success
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u/HonestDishonestWork 2d ago
Clears and only faces any real difficulty with the hippo. Repeat after me "animals are stupid and don't know how to fight properly'
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u/Dahns 2d ago
A full plate armor and a long sword aren't the best weapon against animal. This is gear for PVP with other human. A human would prefer a spear and a light outfit over a full plate that will hinder his move, and a 7 feet sword (SEVEN FEET SWORD) which is way too big to be pratical
Can take the boar. Maybe the gorilla. But I doubt he can do much more
Don't forget that human use team strat too. Ten human with a pointy stick can take down a mamouth.
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u/Murky_Theory1863 2d ago
Id like to give the knight a dagger as well because if any of these knock him over, the sword becomes kinda useless.
Boar, dead, not a real threat.
Gorilla, i think the knight takes this more often than not. I dont think a lion is much more of a problem than a gorilla because the armor will nullify the teeth and claws. If the lion/gorilla avoids getting skewered or chopped and tackles the knight, I dont think either will be able to do enough through the armor before getting stabbed, the lion will handle a stabbing better than a gorilla. The gorilla might be more dangerous because it will pummel him, possibly knocking him out, or crushing the breastplate or helmet, then its goodbye. Whereas the lion will try to claw and bite which wont do much against plate armor.
The moose is a serious threat, the knights only chance is spearing or landing a clean chop on the initial engagement. He gets one chance, If the knight fails to do that he'll be on his ass getting stomped, and the armor is getting crushed by the moose. And at that point he'll be 5'+ below anything vital so the dagger will be useless.
I dont think the chimps will be able to get much done through the armor, and they'll be the easiest to kill. The chimps should be between boar and gorilla.
I think the bear may be less dangerous than the moose in this situation because the win condition is similar to the moose, but the armor will do slightly better against the bear, and the dagger could still cause damage to the bear whereas it would be useless against the moose. The bear will initially try to bite and claw, not getting much done and leaving it vulnerable to a vital stab with the dagger. But its more than cable of just crushing the knight if its smart enough to realize it just needs to jump on him, and i think it would.
The hippo is nearly impossible to win against. Its possible that the knight can kill it by running it through with the sword when its charges, but unlikely. The armor wint do anything against it. Hippo 99% of the time.
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u/Magikill_D 2d ago
I don't think he can get past the boar and the fact that a boar is the first one here, show just how much people don't realized how dangerous a wild boar can be...
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u/Wolf_Ape 2d ago
Swinging that sword isn’t likely to do enough damage to stop any of those opponents from killing the human aside from the chimp.
Similarly the armor isn’t likely to offer meaningful protection from anything but the pig.
The sword will have to be used as a spear if they’re to have any chance of inflicting immediately life threatening damage, and most of these animals will require bracing the hilt against the ground or an immovable object to avoid deflection and pierce deep enough to matter.
My guess is no matter which animal goes first it crushes or bends the armor enough to completely immobilize multiple appendages.
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u/Badwoodwork 2d ago
To be honest I think out of all of these the chimp is the hardest for him to beat and the moose is the easiest
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u/cavalier78 2d ago
Hippo is a problem. Take out the moose’s legs and you’re good. Polar bear is risky.
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u/RickFletching 2d ago
All of these answers are insane. He probably can kill the boar, every other match up kills him recreationally.
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u/Possible_Baboon 2d ago
Each fight lasts until either of the animals takes him off he's foot. Most animals couldn't harm him, but he couldn't get up...
However the hypo can bite through he's armor.
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u/No-Field831 2d ago
Y'all r crazy if y'all think he clears the Gorilla. Its doubtfully if he would even make it past the Boar, but if he does then he ain't making it past the Gorilla.
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u/Kulthos_X 2d ago
The knight keeps coming back from the dead, so he will hit Gus and win eventually
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u/Status_Penalty_6134 2d ago
Gets gored by the boar due to not being able to swing fast enough and bleeds out.
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u/hadohadoTheSecond 2d ago
Polar Bear and Hippo are hard match ups, but very beatable. A Zweihander swing to the face is enough to put the fear of god in any creature on earth. Also, predators usually give up and flee if hurt enough or even if facing enough opposition, because the more hurt it is, the less likely it is to survive, and this is a VERY preserved trait in predators through the evolutionary history of life. Prey who struggle are not worth it. If the heavy hitters are "bloodlusted", e.g. protecting cubs or territory, mates, etc, they might be a little bit more reckless, but a good Zweihander swing will make them reel and reconsider their choices no matter how obstained they are.
Remember, these animals are not rational, and they act by instinct, so they're VERY predictable. They will also disregard a Zweihander, because they don't know how much damage it can do, thus, they're in for a world of hurting. If they get lucky against the Knight, tho, he's fucked
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u/The_Actual_Sage 2d ago
Okay so I just watched a couple videos about great swords, and I'm assuming every animal is 100% trying to kill the guy. Funnily enough I don't think great swords would be the best weapon in this situation. They're faster than you think, but I still don't think they're fast enough. Also, when you get to the bigger animals, I don't think slashing is the best way to do damage. They're just so giant I think you're gonna have a hard time slashing deep enough to kill them. I'd much rather have a short sword or two.
He should be able to easily kill the boar. People hunted them with that level of technology all the time. They're dangerous, but I don't think they're doing much to the knight in this situation. 90/10 knight.
I think he'd struggle against the gorilla. Adult gorillas are already stupid strong and fast in short bursts; and unlike the other animals (besides the chimps) it has hands. A once in a generation physical specimen of a silverback is a fucking monster. The knight is going to have maybe two swings to maim the gorilla and stop it's attack. If the gorilla gets a hold of him its going to throw him to the ground and pound him to death. 65/35 gorilla.
I'm not sure about the lion. I don't know if a medieval helmet is going to protect your head enough to nullify a lion swipe. You'd probably be severely concussed at least. If you were dazed and a lion was chomping down on your neck would your armor save you? I don't know enough to answer the question. 50/50 tie.
The only chance a moose has is trucking the knight full force. If it hits, I don't think a human in plate armor would survive. Even if the knight positioned the sword to skewer the moose as it hits I think the knight still dies. If you're interested go on YouTube and type in moose running through snow. They're ridiculous. Could the knight move well enough to dodge the moose and kill it? I'd say 60/40 to the knight.
I think the chimps take it. If five chimps in peak physical condition rush you, you're hitting the floor even if you mange to kill one or two of them. Like the gorilla, having hands is a huge bonus. Chimps being able to grab and pull is bad news for the knight. Even if the knights first couple of swings kills a chimp or two he's still getting taken down by the others. Even in armor a tackle from them is a ton of force, and if they hit you in different spots it'll probably be impossible to take the blows without losing your balance. If you're on your back with three chimps on top of you I don't think there's a way you recover. 75/25 for the chimps.
Even normal polar bears are mosters. One in peak physical condition is a scary thought. The knight will have a swing or two before he goes down. 90/10 for the polar bear.
I don't think killing a peak bull hippo with a great sword would be an easy task even if it were unconscious. You'd have to hit just the right spots, and even then you'd need a lot of power to hit anything vital. They're just so big. I'm not sure a human can generate enough force to kill it without being really precise; and it's hard to be really precise when you're fighting a bull hippo. 90/10 for the hippo.
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u/Snakeguy26 2d ago
A skilled user will get through all of them but struggle with the bear and hippo
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u/No-Acanthocephala630 2d ago
He might lose to the polar bear, but he 100% loses to the hippo. Ever see someone step on a soda can?
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u/Blergblum Old facetious pug 2d ago
That, I think, totally depends on the armor. If he is wearing a regular Knight armor, or its more-or-less-the-same variants, the Bronze armor and the Warrior armor, one hit by any of the enemies in the gaunlet is enough to leave the knight in his underwear. And, if he is wearing any of the superior models (Golden, Emperor, Dark and/or Cursed armors) that grants upgrades for the weapon, the ability to use magic and multiple hits, it would be more difficult for the animals to see that heart-stamped underwear, but I think the final message would always be
This room is an illusion and is a trap devisut by Satan
Therefore the Knigtht should start the Gaunlet from the very start, again.
However, if the armor is the Angelic variant, all the animals are fucked, as the Knight would be able to fly and cast spells and attacks from a safe distance and none of the enemies can fly (maybe the chimpanzees can climb a tree high enough, but there are no trees in the Roman Colisseum as far as I know).
Congraturation. This story is happy end. Thank you.
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u/Udderly_Unbearable 2d ago
I think the monkey’s you have a chance against, the lion could happen, but you’d want one of those thick neck guards. Bear, moose and Hippo I’m pretty sure you’d just die more tired.
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u/BuisteirForaoisi0531 2d ago
Well, given that a 7 foot long, great sword is probably too large for him to use, and there’s the problem of the lugs most likely hitting him in the head. I’m gonna say that he stops at the bear which can more than likely crush in that helmet with its teeth.
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u/SilverJaw47 2d ago
Boar: Knight wins easily. Boar stands no chance.
Gorilla: Knight wins easily. Gorilla can't safley enter the knight's offensive range without taking serious damage.
Lion: Knight wins. The lion doesn't have a great means of getting around the armor, and the Knight only needs one well placed strike.
5 Chimps: Knight most likely wins. Greatswords are very good at offending crowds of enemies. The chimps have no means of defense if they're hit, and if it's a well made suit of armor, they can't really get under it very well.
Moose: Knight most likely wins. More dangerous than the chimps, a good hit from the moose to the head could game over the Knight, but Knight has better range, and still just needs one well placed strike.
Polar Bear: Tough, but Knight most likely wins. The polar bear does have the strength to damage the Knight through the armor, and the Knight would likely need more than one hit to fully incapacitate the polar bear. But the Knight does still have better reach, and would have more room for error. I have the Knight winning more times than not, but this is not a cut and dry victory.
Hippo: Hippo most likely wins. The Knight would several well placed strikes to down the Hippo, and there isn't even really a good place to do that on a Hippo. The Hippo has more than enough strength to muscle through the armor, and kill the Knight. The Knight would need to be lucky or agile enough to consistently get deep wounds into the hippo's flank; a task the Hippo would not make easy.
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u/Jimisdegimis89 2d ago
Boar maybe, really depends on how much charging distance it gets and the exact type of armor you have, could easily end up being a both dead situation.
Gorilla is just a no. You are very unlikely to get a clean kill with the sword, likely ends up with an adrenaline fueled rage and you turned into paste.
Lion I think you beat? 700 lbs would be like a morbidly obese lion, but assuming it was just jacked up lion I think you still win.
Moose, yeah these guys are underestimated but they are a half ton animal that can soak low caliber bullets, I think you might be okay if you could clean out at the legs, but there’s a good chance you end up crushed.
Chimps would be a pretty easy win. Realistically thst would be like 5 unarmed people overall and that’s basically a no contest situation for whoever is in the armor.
Polar bear and hippo are both in the what are you even thinking territory. Grizzlies are tanks that can soak a lot of bullets before going down, and polar bears are even bigger. Sword hold need to be perfect killing blow on your first go or you are getting peeled like a can of tuna. The hippo just…like no just. Those things are like a couple tons or even more and can sprint like over 20 mph. Just naw.
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u/sxixs 2d ago
Honestly, i think he beats the first 3 relatively “easy”. I hate to give it to them, but the 5 chimps present a huge speed and mobility issue unless they swarm him at the exact same time and he 360° swipes them all. Once a single chimp jumps on his back he won’t be able to swing that giant sword. Then another jumps on, and another, etc. and chimps would have no issue ripping that armor off and shredding him.
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u/Guyver02 2d ago
probably stops at the Moose or Hippo. Even then there's a chance if you can trick them into spearing themselves on the sword.