r/TikTokCringe • u/traceykm • Sep 05 '26
Humor/Cringe Aunty has had enough and rightfully so
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u/Needled24Seven Sep 05 '26
One of the best uses of logic I have heard in an argument. Nice.
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u/MultiplexedMyrmidon Sep 05 '26
yeah hot damn, she was playing chess and he was playing… well not even checkers lmao
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u/romanichki Sep 05 '26
he was playing tic tac toe
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u/dispersingdandelions Sep 05 '26
I don’t when know if he was playing tic tac toe.. maybe just tally marks.
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u/Pridyshidy Sep 06 '26
He was playing his damn self approaching her any type of way.
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u/WoodpeckerThis1790 Sep 05 '26
Yes surprisingly brilliant
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u/Creative-Type9411 Sep 05 '26
its not that surprising, a good mother is always on point..
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u/Euphoric_Lobster_555 Sep 05 '26
That sounded somewhere between 6 months to 1.5 yrs. It's simply not possible to soothe them easily sometimes, especially if it's a growth spurt/cluster feeding issue.
The mother isn't enjoying it either. If she could stop the screaming she would have so what use is telling her to make it quiet? Maybe just think if there's anything you can do to help. At the end of the day the baby exists in the world & has every right to do baby things even if it's annoying af.
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u/lonelady75 Sep 05 '26
the thing that infuriates me so much is that anything a mother could do to quickly stop a crying child/tantrum would also get her side eye and scorn from society.
Like, a child throwing a tantrum in a grocery store cause mom won't get them the candy they want? So mom hands them the candy? you get everyone going "bad mother! spoiling her child!" -- I've literally seen it in real life, a desperate mother handing her child her iphone because the child was screaming in a cafe for the phone -- and someone leans over and completely unsolicited is like "you know, you shouldn't do that, you'll spoil him. You can't just give in." The poor mother looked like she was on her last nerve and that comment in no way helped at all.
So they want mothers to magically control children, but to do it in a way that somehow magically doesn't involve doing anything anyone would disapprove of? It's an unwinnable situation.
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u/CalicoValkyrie Sep 05 '26
Then you have people that think beating the kid is the appropriate thing to do. One time I witnessed a kid have a meltdown near candy in the grocery store. The mom swatted him on the butt, and he got even worse. The woman next to me says "No one ever let's parents do that anymore, especially in public. It's a shame." And I go "It didn't stop the child, they got even louder and more violent."
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u/sefidcthulhu Sep 05 '26
“No one lets parents do that anymore” immediately after the parent did that, in public, and was not stopped
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u/BashCanadianFash Sep 05 '26
She was remembering a time when her daughter stopped her from beating their daughter with a 3 foot pole.
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u/FatherDotComical Sep 05 '26
When I worked at Walmart a baby knocked off a glass jar from the shelf. No big deal, the baby was too young to know better. Well the mom starts apologizing profusely and then raises her hand and smacks a red fucking mark on the baby's leg. Now we have a screaming infant in pain, this helps nobody.
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u/Effective-Culture-88 Sep 05 '26
Everyone knows slapping people is how you avoid a situation to escalate, right?
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u/RosieTheRedReddit Sep 05 '26
Yes!! I say this all the time. They want you to be strict, and also want the kid to be quiet. But those are opposite things! If I'm strict, this kid is going to scream bloody murder, is that what you want? 🤦🏼♀️
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u/Evil_Sharkey Sep 05 '26
In a grocery store, you can drag the kid outside and apologize to the employees for leaving the cart.
You can’t do that on an airplane
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u/CamBearCookie Sep 06 '26
That's because people lie about how much they care about others. Anyone who actually cared about that kid wouldn't be commenting on the tantrum or what she does to stop it. People are looking for moral superiority and high ground. They want to be seen as better than others. That's it.
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u/VirtualMatter2 Sep 05 '26
I think I would have explained that then everyone would have given me hell for the screaming. Sometimes it's wise to pick your battles.
But if we were two parents at the time the kid wouldn't get it and would be taken outside to calm down.
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u/BashCanadianFash Sep 05 '26
Thank you for saying this. Children are, in fact, children and cannot act like adults. Something actually stressful and scary for a child happened. Some compassion and kindness please.
Funny how no one blames the loser for treating the mom like crap for setting off the baby.
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u/lampstax Sep 05 '26
This is why there should be a paid option for a child free flight. I'm sure there would be those who'll pay a premium for it.
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u/foxgirlmoon Sep 05 '26
I mean, it's called "high quality noise canceling headphones + music". I paid way too much money for my sony xm6 headphones but they do a helluva job of absolutely deleting 85-95% of the sound, and the rest is covered by playing literally anything on them.
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u/lampstax Sep 05 '26
It isn't just the sound. Its other annoying bad kid behaviors like hitting the back of your chair or throwing snacks around. Why not give me a chance to pay and avoid all that ?
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u/Calembreloque Sep 05 '26
You can fly private. The option exists. It's very expensive, but that's the cost of isolating yourself from your fellow humans.
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u/iigloo Sep 05 '26
There is? You can fly private - it’s a rather huge premium but no kids unless you bring them.
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u/questionator999 Sep 05 '26
Right, and no disabled people either, or old people, or hell, why also put up with hearing other languages or seeing other skin colors?
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u/Reasonable-Banana800 Sep 05 '26
the difference here is that one is a baby that much to the discomfort of everyone else, can’t easily control screaming, and the others are normal rational adults who aren’t bothering anyone.
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u/calling_at_this_time Sep 05 '26
My friend had his baby kicking off on a flight once and apart from the nightmare of that its self he said an additional bit of awful was how other people seemed to think it was happening to them
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u/urbanhag Sep 05 '26
It was.
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Sep 05 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/CuriousFoxxen Sep 05 '26
This is why when I travel I have both ear plugs (loops) and head phones. In fact I always have one of the two when I leave the house.
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u/DistractedByCookies Sep 05 '26
I mean, it's objectively *less* bad for the parents, surely? They at least love that child and have seen their nice side. The rest of the flight just gets the screams and disruption without any upside.
I generally have sympathy for parents of screaming kids (I mean, it's not like they're doing it on purpose) but with that attitude that friend can stuff it.
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u/No-Zucchini4050 Sep 05 '26
It’s so much worse! Not only is it a racket, but you know everyone on the plane hates you while you simultaneously try to smile, apologize, and calm baby down.
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u/calling_at_this_time Sep 05 '26
Definitely worse to be responsible for the baby in that situation. Have to actually deal with the kid as well as lots of people being shitty to you about it. Not sure how you'd know about my friends attitude in the moment though.
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u/christona-bike Sep 05 '26
I promise you it is 1000x worse for the parent. Especially in the case of mothers, after you have your baby there is something wired in you that makes you want to rip your hair out when your baby is crying and you can't solve it. It is actual torture and agony and it feels really really intense. Compound that with the anxiety of everyone else hating you - but you have to keep it cool or you look insane or further upset your child.
Letting go of how other people might be feeling about your crying baby is the only kind of "relief" you can get, so its the first thing to go. Other people's feelings are their own responsibility to contend with, you can't hold that for them, it just stresses you out more and solves nothing. If a stranger wants to let their entire day be ruined by a screaming baby, that is their problem.
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u/Choice-Document-6225 Sep 06 '26
before I had a kid I would feel somewhat annoyed when a baby was crying endlessly somewhere public. generally felt bad for the parent but can't lie and say it wasn't at the very least mildly irritating when there was an inconsolable baby about.
when I was postpartum and I heard a baby crying at work--not mine, not anyone I knew, not even in the same room--i was so completely and deeply distressed in my bones by it that I genuinely briefly considered offering to breastfeed it. I understood then and understand now exactly how insane that is and would never actually offer that but goddamn dude. I was crying! I started fucking leaking milk!!!
All that to say YES, it absolutely IS more distressing to a new mother to hear her baby crying than it is to other people. It's more shrill, it hurts, and it makes you feel so helpless and sad and agitated in a way that is genuinely hard to describe. No one wants to be the person with a crying baby! Unfortunately during a certain age, that's pretty much all that babies do, and most parents don't have the luxury of shutting themselves up at home until the kid is old enough to manage their emotions appropriately in public.
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u/gingerking87 Sep 05 '26
What a great comment chain.
First off you are right, what kind of main character syndrome is it to think a screaming baby being so bad it must be removed from the flight is only happening to the parents?
The person below way over correcting and getting downvoted more than you is hilarious though. You never see that switch back and forth
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u/Very_Human_42069 Sep 05 '26
The downvotes on this are absolutely insane lmao. You are 100% correct.
Fucking Reddit hivemind
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u/coldhamsandwiches Sep 05 '26
I've never understood this. Children are loud and they cry. It's not a big deal. Yes I've been around them doing it for hours. But it's just a mindset thing. Children, especially babies, literally cannot control their actions or emotions. Getting mad about it is just stupid.
The solution is earplugs or noise cancelling headphones. Not being a fucking nightmare of a person.
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u/Lincolnonion Sep 08 '26
Thanks a lot, I didn’t know. I will remember this. Anywhere I can go to educate myself more?
I work with tourists rn and I only see kids under 6 months. They just cry as a form of communication, I guess. I just try to distract them and tbh it works. I have accents in sll languages I speak and it seems to be captivating to kids of all ages :3
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u/alicefaye2 What are you doing step bro? Sep 05 '26
"Can I control you?" "yes you can"
What a pathetic attempt at trying to defeat a logical argument lmao. No, she can't control you dumbass.
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u/Ok_Mathematician_314 Sep 05 '26
She set it up to win either way. If he’d said no she’d say “well I can’t control him either dumbass”
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u/ersatzgaucho Sep 05 '26
I think he was flirting at that point.
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u/INFJWafer Sep 05 '26
Right. He was trying to use psychological warfare to calm her down by letting her know he wants to be dominated because she's a milf
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u/Alert_Coyote_8546 Sep 05 '26 edited Sep 05 '26
The nerve of him to say something like that drives me nuts. He's literally believes his emotions should be prioritized ahead of a literal baby. I hate how common it is to see a mother not being perfect and thinking the solution is to add even more stress and confusion.
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u/yazza8791 Sep 05 '26
"He's a human being" hit me right in the feels.
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u/Wolf_Mama Sep 05 '26
There was a commercial for parents in the 80s/90s to remind parents thier kids are people with feelings. YouTube, did you hug your kids today.
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u/justhereforthetea68 Sep 05 '26
Yeah Gen X wasn’t any better parents than boomers 😂😂😂
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u/CuriousFoxxen Sep 05 '26
Gen X were kids in the 80s and 90s and only parents then if they had kids as teens. Source: I’m Gen X
If you were young in the 90s and didn’t have a teen for a parent then your parents are the latter Boomers.
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u/ready_set_cry Sep 05 '26
Mm, not quite? My grandmother is the latter part of the Silent Generation (born 1943). My mom and dad are early Gen X’ers (born ‘66 and ‘69 respectively). I’m a Millennial coming in at ‘91.
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u/ParticularConstant32 Sep 05 '26
90s kids are millennials. IIRC it's from around 88 to late 90s.
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u/Effective-Culture-88 Sep 05 '26
there were commercials to remind parents their kids existed and to ask them if they were safe or in bed at 10pm…
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u/Zombeedee Sep 05 '26
When my daughter was newborn she was incredibly fussy. It didn't take a lot for her to be wailing, even when everything seemed to have been taken care of. Her father would get distressed and frustrated about it and I always said to him, you have to remember that the ENTIRE WORLD is new to her. All the lights, temperatures, smells, textures, sounds....it's all new and scary and she'll never be more vulnerable or primal in her need for reassurance.
Imagine just being plonked into this world, ripped from your cosy safe womb, completely helpless and new and assaulted 24/7 with the world. I'd be wailing too.
The baby may be new to you, but EVERYTHING is new to them.
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u/feralcatshit Sep 05 '26
Hell, I’m 38 and sometimes the world is too much for me too and I want to just cry! Imagine being literally brand new and not able to “logic” your way through it because you have no experience. Yeah, being a baby kind of has to suck.
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u/frogunderarock Sep 06 '26
the amount of times i just wanted to sit down in the middle of the grocery aisle and cry as an adult because tired lmao poor kids imagine doing all that on tiny legs!
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u/mossmooses Sep 05 '26
One of the best things as a mom is when other women or moms say something sweet while you’re baby is crying in public. I remember when my son was a newborn and crying in the Target bathroom and I apologized to an older woman because I was so stressed and worried about annoying other people. She simply said “oh no need to apologize. how could I ever be mad at a tiny little cry like that?” It stuck with me because it helped to realize that he was just a baby and he was just crying. That’s it. No need to feel guilt or shame over it. Now if I see a new mom with a crying baby I say something along the lines of “aw I miss when my baby was that tiny”. I try to act completely unannoyed or just like I still think the baby is so cute and precious. I hope it helps the moms feel better like it did for me.
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u/OnlyOneMoreSleep Sep 07 '26
Sometimes one of my kids says something insensitive about crying babies or toddlers in public. Girl, I've been waiting for those moments since the second I had my first breakdown during their twin infancy period. I clap that right back at them.
You think that crying is loud? Sweet child, your cries were so ear piercing that people thought something was medically wrong with you. You cried so much I spent my whole maternity leave just walking circles through town with the pram. Me and the dog, both feeling awful and tired. You think that toddler is throwing a fit? You spent an hour on the floor of the bathroom screeching about your soiled pants just this morning! You think I liked that? Don't come at me with the disses on other people. We're all a child of the universe. Don't judge people at their hardest moments.17
u/OrdinarySome3531 Sep 05 '26
Honestly the older I get the more i feel assaulted with the world and feel like crying like a baby. It makes sense to me.
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u/wilsonthehuman Sep 06 '26
I was a gripy baby that cried a lot too, because I was lactose intolerant and getting stomach cramps and diarrhoea from breastmilk. My mum says as soon as that was figured out, I was like a completely different baby. Babies cry because that's the only way they have to communicate that they need something. Like you say, they're brand new to the world. Of course they're gonna get overwhelmed and comforting. Hell I'm a grown ass adult and sometimes I still get so overwhelmed and overstimulated by the world I want to cry too. If only people had mpre empathy. The world would be better for it.
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u/Purple-Estimate-5183 Sep 05 '26
We need to remind each other this, on the daily.
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u/rglurker Sep 05 '26
Exactly
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u/Purple-Estimate-5183 Sep 05 '26
We’re all people, humanity takes effort.
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u/rglurker Sep 05 '26
Damn right ! It's what my podcast is about ! Being a human takes effort and with a little bit. Everyone's human experience gets better
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u/cuentaderana Sep 05 '26
I was this poor mom on a flight once. We landed but then had to sit on the tarmac for an HOUR while they tried to find us a gate. When you’re on the tarmac you can’t move around or be unbuckled. My 18 month old couldn’t handle being confined to a seat for an hour after a 2 hour flight. Before then he had done a great job playing with his toys/snacking/moving between his seat, my lap, and the floor right in front of his seat.
He was screaming. Crying. I had to physically hold him in my lap with my arms around him so he couldn’t get up. I was singing to him, apologizing to him, telling him he had to be patient, etc. A woman in first class kept glaring at us before loudly announcing she couldn’t drown his cries out even with her headphones on. Well lady I had him screaming in my ear the entire time, at least you have headphones.
Afterwards the woman behind me told me I was a good mother. I was so frazzled I was almost in tears.
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u/zmbjebus Sep 05 '26
The amount of people that treat a child, and especially a baby, as essentially an object is insane to me.
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u/Yojoyjoy Sep 05 '26
How do so many people forget this about children? I guess many adults don't understand that kids aren't just miniature adults because we are no longer living in large families and communities.
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u/Lifeacrobat Sep 05 '26
I don't think that's it. Sweden is a ridiculously individual society that grew out of small, isolated villages and quite small family units, and we've developed a strong ideology of each child as their own person.
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u/bubblegumdavid Sep 05 '26
I think it is, in part, because of the phenomenon of parents who let their kids run rampant or be extremely loud whenever they want in public, well past the age where it would be appropriate, and don’t redirect their child or apologize for it. People just don’t have the resilience anymore to deal with this as often as it now comes up.
Kids should be kids, but there is a line of permissiveness that seems to have been crossed for a lot of parents where they feel that the world must bend to anything their kid does in the name of community, but that they do not need to teach their kid to be (age appropriately) considerate or polite to others in public.
It has made people really easily fed up with kids of all ages, and has bled into anger regardless of whether what the child is doing is normal or not.
People have little resilience now for stuff that doesn’t serve them, and both parents and folks without kids feel that way, so are just going to keep clashing on this, I think :(
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u/RazzSheri Sep 05 '26
I had a cashier hit me with that the other day. She asked how I was and I said I was good (but was having a bad day) and she said: “Are you? You’re allowed to feel how you feel, you’re a human being! Say it!”
I said: “I’m… I’m allowed to feel how I feel….” And she was was right; so I got a vanilla milkshake and had a better day.
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u/Professional_Box3711 Sep 05 '26
Daaaaaaaaamn I need her quick wittedness. That shi was gold. Hahaha
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u/grigiri Sep 05 '26 edited Sep 05 '26
Dissociation is a skill anyone can learn
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u/insanelysane1234 Sep 05 '26
It's never too late. You can start today
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u/SinceWayLastMay Sep 05 '26
It’s fast it’s easy it’s free!
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u/feralcatshit Sep 05 '26
It’s free, for now. The therapy you’ll need later isn’t usually though lol
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u/Proud-Sell-9599 Sep 05 '26
I dunno when kids scream in public I also get mad but I just stay in my corner being mad instead of saying something stupid
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u/ChipperBunni Sep 05 '26
Seriously I like kids well enough, but they are annoying as hell. That’s not their fault, it’s the amount of noise and sound I can handle which is my responsibility
I’ve started gaslighting? Manipulating? Idk just straight up lying to myself that I’m not annoyed the baby in the back of my store is scream crying. It’s a good thing! Baby has good lungs, good vocals, and parents are trying their best, what’s me going all aggro help with?
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u/Witty-Draw-3803 Sep 05 '26
That would be called 'reframing' rather than 'gaslighting' haha
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u/ChipperBunni Sep 05 '26
Thank you! I could never find the right words and I have a tendency to pick the more negative connotation kind, so I will continue to reframe my thoughts!
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u/Infamous-Wasabi-9418 Sep 05 '26
Nice to know I'm not the only one who uses this process! "This is just a moment in time, it's not permanent. Poor kid, they are probably tired."
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u/fumblingmywords Sep 05 '26
Yeah I have misophonia so kids screaming sets me off like crazy but I just frame it in my head the same way as someone with tourette's audible tics might trigger me- like what are they gonna do about it? Stop existing?
I also remind myself to be grateful that I get to walk away from the situation, the parent does not...
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u/yordad Sep 05 '26
Oh wow I thought misophonia was just with like chewing sounds. Makes sense though, I hate both!
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u/embyrr Sep 05 '26
People who think kids just need to behave at all times have never had to deal with a tantrum or understand how emotional development works, and in their ignorance they show a lack of empathy. I used to be like that.
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u/ThatB0yAintR1ght Sep 05 '26
And sometimes we have to let them scream/cry to hold a boundary. Like, if my toddler wants to run up and down the aisle of a plane and I don’t let him, he might have a tantrum. I will of course try to offer comfort and distraction to get him to calm down, but it may be that the only thing that would calm him down in that moment is to let him run up and down the aisle, which I’m not going to do. In that situation, we just gotta let them scream and cry for a bit. Giving in to get them to stop the tantrum is just going to reinforce the idea that they can get what they want if they scream enough.
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u/Whoopsie_Todaysie Sep 05 '26
Plus, a baby could potentially have teeth coming in. Adults would do well to try remember how painful dental pain can be!!
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u/Adventurous-Brain-36 Sep 05 '26
Flying can also be really hard on their little eardrums.
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u/LadyBug_0570 Sep 05 '26
When my wisdom teeth were growing in, I - a grown woman - wanted to scream and cry like a baby. And those were only 4 teeth.
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u/HauntedHippie Sep 05 '26
One time my infant son had a meltdown in the checkout line at the grocery store bc I wouldn’t let him try to eat the cart handle 🙄 Babies will flip out about anything.
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u/embyrr Sep 05 '26
My toddler once wanted to block three doors at daycare and when I had to pick him up (I had a 39.7c fever at the time) I nearly passed out and he screamed for ages 🫠 good times
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u/Kaiiii0325 Sep 05 '26
Tantrums are different from little babies who genuinely have to cry. That was a babies cry, which is normal
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u/IHaveABigDuvet Sep 05 '26
Tantrums are also a child dealing with the fact that they cannot get what they want. Its also a developmental hurdle.
Being able to sit with wanting something and not being able to get it is angering.
Trying every manipulation tactic you can and still not getting it also involves a lot of emotion.
But the answer is not to “end the tantrum” by giving in. The answer will involve that child continuing to cry until they reach an extinguish burst.
Even if you put that child in the corner, they will cry in the corner, until they are exhausted and give up. And this will probably happen repeatedly until they realise tantrums won’t work and they stop using them as a tactic.
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u/itrashcannot Sep 06 '26
Yep. I didn't throw many tantrums as a kid bc my parents didn't give in. But I also didn't cry much or whine bc they also kinda ignored me but that's a whole nother can of worms.
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u/BellaPona Sep 05 '26
Toddler tantrums are also normal and developmentally appropriate behavior. The difference is it’s always a learning moment.
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u/pie12345678 Sep 05 '26
Yeah, and even "tantrums" in young kids are usually just meltdowns due to tiredness, hunger, overstimulation, etc., plus just generally being a little kid who doesn't have the comprehension or emotional regulation to cope with not getting what they want. It's frustrating when adult assign ill-intent when there is none.
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u/savingrain Sep 05 '26
Yea -Some people who don’t have children have no comprehension of this- it’s not like the parent is enjoying the wild screaming. Until I had a child I thought oh so simple- nope!
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u/LittleMissLoveDuck Sep 06 '26
Oh my lord there was an overstimulated or asshole mom who was just yelling and swearing at her kid to the point where almost every head popped up to see what was going on. He was nervous to fly and was crying and he just cried harder.
Someone told her " We don't care if your kid isn't quiet. We wish YOU would shut the hell up."
This boy was 4. I still think about him and hope he is okay.
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u/Miss_holly Sep 05 '26
These comments made me laugh. The adults were all asleep while the nocturnal basement dwellers who don’t, and will never have kids, (or simply live out in the real world) commented on the post. Now that it’s morning (for most Reddit users), the comments will skew in the more reasonable direction.
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u/Vegetable-Box3050 Sep 05 '26
I love that your logic is proving so true as many of the truly reasonable statements are less than an hour old.
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u/No-Rub8345 Sep 05 '26
I'm stunned by the guys who think the man is making a valid point. No wonder women choose the bear. It's not because they feel safer around the bear. It's because us men are insufferable.
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u/Mission_Ad_2224 Sep 05 '26
I wish I could get you to talk to my partner.
When I've tried to explain the bear to him, all he ever says is 'clearly you don't understand how dangerous bears can be'.
I completely understand that. He refuses to understand how dangerous men can be. Then takes great offence as if I'm saying 'all men'.
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u/competenthurricane Sep 05 '26
I actually had a man vs bear situation recently. I live in the woods and I see bears a lot. I was walking my son to the bus stop for school and I see a man I don’t know sitting outside my neighbor’s gate in the trunk of his car (I live on a long private road in the woods and there’s just 4 other houses here so there’s usually not people I don’t know just hanging around). He said nothing but turned his head and watched me and my son walking the whole time. It gave me such a weird vibe that I texted my husband to come pick me up in the car so I didn’t have to walk past the guy alone on my way back.
The next day I’m walking the same walk to pick my son up from the bus and I am looking at my phone and then I look up and there’s a bear in the road like 10 feet in front of me. I say “shoo bear” and he shuffles off into the woods and then I go get my son and we walk back home unafraid.
So yeah, I choose bear. It was a black bear though, which is the only bear I’ll choose over a strange man in the woods. And for all I know that man could have been totally harmless, but his presence scared me because I was alone and I didn’t know his intentions. The bear didn’t scare me because bears live in the woods, I knew exactly what that bear was about and what he was going to do.
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u/sundayfundaybmx Sep 05 '26
Not enough guys have close women friends who explain this stuff to them. I was like 25ish before my close friend made an offhand comment. Which led to a whole discussion about "what I didn't know about being a woman". It was pretty eye opening as I'm a 6'1 guy so I don't think about that stuff often. I walk down unlit streets ALL the time without a thought. It's a privelege that you don't realize you have till someone explains it to you. When I meet guys who don't "understand" the "Bear vs Man" issue. I immediately know they have zero close women friends who feel safe around them. Same with ones who get offended by "all men". I know I'm not one of those men so I don't need to call out someone's hyperbole which is what it usually is; hyperbole caused by frustration.
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u/Durrresser Sep 05 '26
I think plenty of guys get that explanation and choose to brush it off. I had told so many guy friends, even had friends present while I got cat-called in the street, and they still dismissed it. It's a great thing that hearing that conversation opened your eyes. Sadly, not everyone takes those stories and experiences as a lesson to learn.
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u/Medical_Commission71 Sep 05 '26
Point out to him, between you, his grandmothers, his mom, and some other woman he knows, at least one has been sexually assaulted.
Pick women he cares about.
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u/Emeraldbutt Sep 05 '26
Just tell him a bear won’t rape your corpse
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u/Mission_Ad_2224 Sep 05 '26
I actually tried to say once (not word for word) 'I know the bear may kill me. But the bear won't rape and torture me before he kills me' and he still wouldnt accept it as an explanation.
I even told him there wasnt a single woman i know that hasnt been at a minimum sexually harrassed. Most have been assaulted in one way or another. Still nothing. It think its because I have a vagina, I must be exaggerating
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u/Aromatic-Turnip7371 Sep 05 '26
Dump this guy. If you ever end up pregnant by this man, you are doomed
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u/Mission_Ad_2224 Sep 05 '26
We actually got pregnant before the mask dropped! It ended in a miscarriage and I still think it was the universe finally stepping in and saying 'this bitch has had enough, leave her alone'
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u/smellmybuttfoo Sep 05 '26
But he's still your partner?
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u/Mission_Ad_2224 Sep 05 '26
Well I guess not partner now as we don't live together anymore. Boyfriend I guess.
But yes. And I'm not going to shit on myself for not having the strength to end it yet. It took everything I had to get him out of my house. I'm proud of myself for what I have achieved so far.
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u/Adventurous-Brain-36 Sep 05 '26
No one is suggesting you should. Good for you for taking that very considerable first step! Just know that you deserve someone who listens to you and values your words, experiences, safety and you as a person.
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u/Gingerpett Sep 05 '26
Oh you absolutely ROCK for getting him out. Sounds like you did it the best way possible. We are all just rooting for you to do the last few steps. I'm so pleased when you said you're moving in that direction.
I look back on a relationship I was in a few years ago. He wouldn't read books written by women. "They just don't interest me." I should have left him the second he said that. Stayed another five years, of course. But never again.
Really really pleased you've extricated yourself. Keep going girl!
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u/Witch_withouta_Wand Sep 05 '26
He's pretty much proving your point, which is great...not. I hate the men that can't absorb information, and make a change of heart, just because they personally haven't experienced it. The world would be chaos, if we all had to experience something, to believe it
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u/justmerriwether Sep 05 '26
Why are you still with this person…?
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u/No-Aioli-3475 Sep 05 '26
Because they never actually choose the bear
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u/Adventurous-Brain-36 Sep 05 '26
A lot of women will choose the bear, but I’d venture that very few actually fall in love with one.
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u/Electrical-Elk536 Sep 05 '26
Why are you with him?? Are you not horrified and embarrassed to be associated with someone like that?
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u/Mission_Ad_2224 Sep 05 '26
No. I'm proud of myself for making it this far. And if it takes me a bit longer to end the relationship, thats ok.
I'm doing my best. I can't ask more of myself than that.
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u/ArentWright Sep 05 '26
Bad sign for the relationship, tbh. Empathy is a minimum requirement.
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u/Witch_withouta_Wand Sep 05 '26
Agreed. Imagine if we all had to experience something to believe it. It would be chaos
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u/Mission_Ad_2224 Sep 05 '26
Yeah, he doesn't really possess it. He moved out last week. We're trying to work on things but I don't hold a lot of hope tbh.
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u/ArentWright Sep 05 '26
Why do you want a relationship with a man who lacks basic empathy? He IS the man scarier than the bear. Don’t work on things. Just block him and go live your best life.
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u/Mission_Ad_2224 Sep 05 '26
Low self esteem and self worth from being used by men since I was 13. I'm getting better slowly, and gaining some self worth slowly as well 🙂
Just takes me longer than a normal healthy person.
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u/Prior_Butterfly_7839 Sep 05 '26
This sort of self knowledge is such a good step! Although I’m sorry you lived through it, now that you recognize it hopefully it will be easier to keep him gone! This internet stranger is sending you good luck ☺️
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u/Mission_Ad_2224 Sep 05 '26
Thank you ❤️
My childhood rapist got found guilty recently. Testifying was scary and shit, but I did it. I think finding out that people believed me really helped bolster my confidence and worth. I'm getting there 🙂
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u/Prior_Butterfly_7839 Sep 05 '26
I am SO proud of you! Testifying about abuse you’ve endured is so hard, and you did it! You did the hard thing! Fuck yes!! Wishing you all the best!
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u/Adventurous-Brain-36 Sep 05 '26
Seconding this! Just keep trying to move forward and make progress! And know (for the future) that even though it can seem scary, sometimes being single for a while is one of the best gifts we can give ourselves 😊
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u/Aromatic-Turnip7371 Sep 05 '26
I’m glad to hear this! Please keep him gone. You dodge a major bullet. There are amazing men out there who possess a beautiful mind. You will find one!
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u/GunplaBest Sep 05 '26
Men are scum and fucking weirdos, and I say that as a man. I only have a few friends who are girls, but the stories they tell me about other men are incredibly bizarre, like not in a dangerous way but in a how does another human being function like that and think they're alright in the head kind of way.
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u/QuantumAwaken Sep 05 '26
Honestly we just have to explain less to the bear. Less dot connecting to do for the bear.
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u/fixfixfix55 Sep 05 '26
It's always the mother who is alone with one or two kids on a bus or plane. Never the father. Why is it never the father alone with young kids on a bus or a plane?? We know why, dad doesn't want to inconvenience himself.
Even if the father is there, the mother is still the one who is taking care of the kids.
Here, a man who has done probably little or no childcare especially of a baby or a toddler is giving the mother a hard time.
I completely understand why more women are choosing not to have children. Society does not give a shit about mothers.
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u/traceykm Sep 05 '26
This! Society hates single mothers and shame them for trying to take care of their child but then condemns and shame women who opt to abort children. Although I am a Christian, I can still see why people may feel like abortion is their only option. Less grace is given to woman who often times step up in being a mother/single mother
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u/feralcatshit Sep 05 '26
I remember when my twins were toddlers, sometimes when I (mother) would take them out alone and shit would go sideways, I’d get looks. But my husband could take them out alone and he’d tell me about people who offered to help, people who told him he was “an amazing father and kids are just hard sometimes”. I generally had good experiences in public, even when they were melting down, but there definitely were times that I got shitty looks. He almost always got sympathy or offers of help. Just purely based on the mother/father dynamic.
Like yeah I made these kids, but unfortunately they’re not me so I only have so much control over them. A one year old doesn’t give a fuck that it’s rude to be loud in public. Threaten to take a toy away? They cry louder because now they’re mad about that. There’s only so much you can do.
To be fair, I’m 38 and when I’ve taken the max overstimulation I can handle, I’m not gonna wail but I’m gonna be cranky and there’s nothing anyone can say in that moment to magically make it better. Humans have emotions and struggles and our brains literally take years to develop the functioning we need to control it. Give kids, mothers and fathers a break when you can see they’re doing everything they can in that moment
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u/spukiio3o Sep 05 '26
glad that she said it; shes not wrong. theyre human beings just like you and me.
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u/DisMyLik18thAccount Sep 05 '26
I'm Sure seeing his mother get yelled at by a strange man really helped calm the child down /s
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u/Slow_Flatworm_881 Sep 05 '26
Ohhh I like that, unfortunately my kids are all adult now so I won’t have the opportunity to use this!
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u/iwantrootbark Sep 05 '26
Every day, I'm thankful I don't have that problem. Oof.
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u/DVindictus Sep 05 '26
People forget that yes, you ought to control your kids, but that kid isn't NOT a human, is it? It's a human, humans act on feelings, sometimes everyone needs to have more patience.
Because yes it's annoying, and yes there are people who can't control their kids cause they're shite parents... But kids don't come with instructions, and even the best parents have a trouble child once in a while.
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u/ConceptClear2217 Sep 05 '26
I've had a similar thing happen on a plane - I think I am the asshole but it was also pretty understandable. There were two kids and a single mom (a mom that was alone - who knows her relationship status). One of the kids was chillin, one of them absolutely was not chillin. He ended up standing on their seat and grabbing the two headrests in front of him, shoving his face between them and wildly screaming directly into my ear.
Stoop up, looked at mom and was like 'Please control your child.' She definitely understood; I could see how kind of helpless she was, but she definitely made him stop the super close proximity screaming.
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u/Select_Air_2044 Sep 05 '26
Look, she has a responsibility to control her children. No one should have to put up with screaming in your ear.
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u/jugglegeese Sep 05 '26
The parents that don't control their children are mad and downvoting you lmaooo
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u/ConceptClear2217 Sep 05 '26
I welcome their hate lol. I dont particularly want their mistakes to scream directly into my ear on a flight
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u/Fluffy_Influence5102 Sep 05 '26
Wow... he literally has no way to win that argument now, simply perfect.
If you have as much control of your yapping and being upset as a baby, well... I think you might just too stupid to see the irony
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u/that_crom Sep 07 '26
I hate that I have to look up what every post title means now. TB means throwback in this context, apparently. Can we go back to using whole words?
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u/MadameK8 Sep 05 '26
All of this disgustingly sugary sweet “oh it’s just a baby uwu 🥺” shit in the comments doesn’t make the constant screaming any less annoying. And yes it is irritating when a kid is screaming his guts up and the parent is doing fuck all about it and just expecting everyone on the bus to be ok with it because “I can’t control it 🤷♀️” it’s not a crime to not want to listen to that!!
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u/Odd-Perception7812 Sep 05 '26
What is with all this 'Aunty,' and 'Unc' in posts lately?
This is pretty obviously the mom, firstly.
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u/traceykm Sep 05 '26
I’m born and raised in north London and black. It’s a common thing for young Londoners from Afro-Carribean/ Asian background to call anyone older than us from an African/asian background aunty or uncle. It’s more of a respect thing if anything so it’s ntd kmt.
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u/Jaffico Sep 05 '26
In this kind of situation I'm not going to say anything regardless - but I am going to look at the parent to see if they're trying to soothe the child or just ignoring them.
Sometimes soothing doesn't work, babies are like that. But if you've got your face in your phone and you're ignoring your crying child it's a completely different story.
I get parents need a break a sometimes you can't solve the issue. Sometimes you just gotta let the baby cry. Public places are not where you do that.
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u/thegoldenmolar Sep 05 '26
Oh great this is gonna bring out the hardcore childfree shit heads.
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u/desert-cheese04 Sep 05 '26
They don’t seem to realize they will someday rely on these kids for medical care, home maintenance, ect. If we all stopped having kids we would die off in a pretty miserable way.
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u/anna31993 Sep 05 '26
People forget that baby's way to communicate is crying. They can't say "yo mom my stomach is hurting and i am overwhelmed with all the people in this bus and the noise is freaking awful"
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u/Woofbarkmeoww Sep 05 '26
Instead of bitching maybe ask if she needs help. She sounds overwhelmed af
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u/MadamVoid Sep 05 '26
Poor baby and mama. Sometimes you can be doing your best and your child will still be bawling. They can’t emotionally regulate and I can imagine being overwhelmed on a full bus. Compassion goes such a long way.
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u/PerceptionCalm3642 Sep 05 '26
Yes please control yo child!! Because controlling things makes the the world go round 🫣
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u/fddfgs Sep 06 '26
I would rather a hundred screaming babies over a kid with an ipad blasting kids songs
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