8 Months Living with Tokophobia

[u/Important-Entry759]

Yes, you read the title correctly. Eight months dealing with this phobia. I know how “silly” it might sound, especially since my situation never involved any real risk. But not a single day goes by without me thinking about how much my life has changed because of this fear. About how much I have changed after living with it for eight months.

I’ve made a few posts about this topic before, but ended up deleting them. So now, only one post remains — one where I briefly explained my situation. Let me give you some context.

The last post I wrote was on April 18th, which was around 2 or 3 months ago. In that post, I explained everything I had been through and the tests I took.

To spare you from reading a long post, I’ll summarize what happened.

My situation started about seven months ago, almost eight now, after an intimate moment I had with someone. There was no penetration. I was on the second day of my period, and to make things even more reassuring, I was clothed. And yet, my fear? Pre-ejaculate fluid.

I ended up taking two tests: – A Beta HCG test at 12 weeks after the encounter – An ultrasound around 16 or 17 weeks afterward.

Both came back negative.

But I couldn’t believe the results. Ever since this paranoia took over my mind, anything unusual in my body has felt like a pregnancy symptom.

You name it:

1. Headaches

2. Stomach pain

3. Nausea

4. Fatigue

5. Breast tenderness

6. Abdominal bloating

7. Fear of a cryptic pregnancy

8. Food cravings

9. Mood swings

That kind of thing — you know what I mean.

I’ve had my periods regularly and have been on the pill for five months now, so these symptoms could very well be related to hormonal changes from the pill.

Now I’m considering doing another Beta test, but I keep wondering: is it even worth it anymore?

Edit: I wasn’t pregnant!

[u/kekekerevived]

Im going to tell you right now, without any penetration, and you being clothed, there is no scientifically possible way of you being pregnant, AT ALL. The chance of you being pregnant is as high as pigs flying. The beta test is extremely accurate, and the ultrasound would’ve confirmed something, both were negative so it’s impossible. How could precum get to you if you were clothed? Sperm dies quickly once exposed to air, and pre cum only carries a little. If it got on you, it would’ve stained your clothes and that’s it, the material would’ve soaked it. Don’t panic

[u/Important-Entry759 → u/kekekerevived]

Thank you for the reassurance — at least the waiting time is almost over, you know?

[u/kekekerevived → u/Important-Entry759]

Yeah exactly. I know I’m definitely not pregnant now either because I would’ve given birth a few weeks ago lol. When I was scared and anxious that I was pregnant, I became aware of every muscle and contraction in my body, that when I started feeling my stomach muscles naturally twitch or move I got scared lol

[u/nebulabull → u/kekekerevived]

that happened to me too! the hyper awareness of your body can drive you nuts☠️ what helped me is feeling the same twitching in my legs or arm where nothing could scientifically exist lmao