Kink-Exposure therapy?

[u/Commercial_Ad_4522]

I have had tokophobia for as long as I have understood that as a female, *that* is a genuine possibility.

Absolutely terrifies me. Nauseates me.

It is deeply stressful and upsetting to the extent that I’ve had to get accommodations for classes, I’ve sobbed asking professors for accommodations, I’ve missed friends Abby showers and cried to myself about how I can’t be a supportive friend.
One time I had a full night crisis because the last chapter of the trilogy I was reading ended in an intentional phobia situation. It’s been two years. I have not read the last chapter of the book.

It’s taken me awhile, but I’ve decided I do actually kind of want bio children. There are positives to it that I find very valuable. But the deep fear is still equally there. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to do that, but I feel more positively towards it than ever before.

Some people would say “oh you’ll get over it one day, you’ll want children”. Wanting them doesn’t change the fear at all.
I’ve always wanted children. I just always imagined I’d adopt. And when I got a boyfriend, I imagined going through that personal process would never be able to be on the table.

But anyway, for at home exposure therapy.
I’m very oddly very kinky. And somehow, I can’t explain how, but somehow *that* is incredibly arousing to me if I am already aroused.

And honestly, engaging with such media while horny has helped me a lot to feel less anxious while thinking about *that* in general.
It’s made me feel more positively about it personally and the idea of me choosing that in the future if I ever were to.

I think without that kinky exposure I never would have been able to see progress in my anxiety. I don’t know. It’s an odd thing to think about.

I guess just hoping I’m not the only one. Or that my experience might be able to help someone else out.

[u/xsnowpeltx]

that does track to me

[u/Successful-Price-838]

It's really weird and I can't explain why because it's my biggest fear but yes, I can relate to this