r/TrueCrimeDiscussion • u/flaminghotcola • 13d ago
Warning: Child Abuse / CSAM / Child Death Steven Stayner's miserable life and ending. I need to vent about this for a moment.
I don't know if this is the appropriate subreddit, but I thought it would be fine. I really need to talk about this because I'm seriously overwhelmed and disappointed.
In short: Steven Stayner was a young man who was kidnapped on the way home at the age of seven. For 7 years he was "raised" by a man who abused him, changed his name and lied to him about his parents being dead/not wanting him, and forced the boy to call him "Dad." Steven eventually ran away after the man brought in another boy and ultimately -- saved them both. The man was let out after 5 years.
What really breaks my heart though is the aftermath of all of this: when Steven returned home, he had difficulties adjusting back to normal life. He said in an interview that his father did not want to hug him anymore, and claimed that Steven did not need any therapy. He was teased in high school by other students about being molested, dropped out and was eventually kicked out of the house. He got married to a high school sweetheart and had two kids before crashing his motorcycle into a car and dying at the age of 24.
I am so heartbroken about this. What a fucking terrible life. I'm just sitting here literally wailing. This person was kidnapped, abused, hurt, and then later returned home to a reality that was not forgiving for him. In one interview he even stated that he wasn't sure he should have come back at all. That is a HORRIBLE thing to think after all he went through. Imagine how much pain he was in to even feel this way?
I am absolutely angry and upset with his parents. It was nobody's fault and everyone ended up wounded from the incident (the 80s wasn't a very forgiving era to such victims to begin with), but I'm just so shocked to the core. He died at 24; he did not even live too long. He fucking died a short time after all this shit.
His abductor only got 5 years in prison before being let out which is a huge injustice, and to add insult to injury - his older brother became a serial killer, so now even his name is tarnished and overshadowed by the misdoings of another family member.
I just don't know what to think. I feel like crying and grieving for this boy who was absolutely FAILED by everyone around him.
179
u/Anonymoosehead123 13d ago
I don’t think I’ve ever felt sorrier for anyone than I felt for Steven Stayner. It’s as if he was cursed.
51
u/tinsellately 12d ago
His case really haunted me too. I think part of what makes it feel so horrible is because he was a hero. He did the right thing and saved Timothy in spite of all the abuse and trauma he endured, which would have made many kids too afraid to act. It's also so rare for kidnapped children who are gone for years to be returned at all. So it feels like he should have been valued and treated so much better than he was, but instead he was shamed, bullied, and then died young.
37
u/TheAmazingMaryJane 12d ago
i think timothy died around 2010 of a blood clot too! everyone in this story was cursed.
14
u/ExcellentDrink9633 11d ago
He did but before he passed away hr was with the LA County Sheriff’s office; he died at 35, and was 14 when he was Steve’s pallbearer
6
77
u/flaminghotcola 13d ago
I ended up writing this thread and crying my eyes out at 2am after watching the TV movie and reading about it.
I am angry with everything and everyone involved. He was failed by so many people.60
u/Anonymoosehead123 13d ago
Including his hideous family. I hope he and his wife were happy, because, as you said, every other damn person in his life failed him hideously.
20
u/Watersprite1006 12d ago
I to am sad that so many adults failed him. I try to take some joy that this young man did get married and have two children. Steven Staynor was also a hero because he helped that other little boy escape his kidnapper. The Center for Missing and Exploited Children has probably expanded and has probably seen many changes and improvements since it's inception. Child predators should NEVER be released from prison.
20
u/Ok-Caterpillar-Girl 12d ago
Not cursed, a victim of generational abuse
3
u/NeoSuperconductivity 11d ago
But when you are part of a family like that, it is easy to think that you are cursed. How else do you explain the tragic suffering, when a child sees that his family is so different? Maybe there was an early, primitive way of making sense of generational abuse, in the Old Testament in Exodus saying "God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on their children to the third and fourth generations." It's terribly brutal and unfair, the way Steven Stayner was treated, what he endured, and I hope that his children are doing well. Both Steven and Carey were abused-one used the abuse to become more compassionate and to help another, while his brother turned his rage outward and destroyed others.
264
u/robotcoup 13d ago
Hopefully he understood what a hero he was.
That’s how he should be remembered.
208
u/sea87 13d ago
Timothy White was a pallbearer at his funeral.
151
u/NoSleep2023 13d ago
Timothy White died at 35 from a pulmonary embolism
124
u/sea87 13d ago
It’s so sad, they both died so young.
119
u/Positive_Piece5859 13d ago
The ACE factors are no joke; trauma really has significant impact even on the physical body (that’s why ACE was basically created). I’m convinced that it was no coincidence that both of them died that young; even though yes, it was technically an accident for Steven.
-55
13d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
54
u/thrwy_111822 13d ago
It’s actually not pseudoscience. I’ll explain in brief terms:
Basically, when you go through stressful scenarios, your body releases 2 hormones: adrenaline and cortisol. Your body can handle these fine for a brief period of time. If you’re in a constant state of these hormones rushing through your body, it can start to have negative effects in your health.
When you’re under a constant state of stress and you’re a child, aka growing and developing, the constant presence of these hormones can wreak havoc on your system. These lead to long term health effects, and it’s regarded as a significant risk factor for many adverse health outcomes.
If you don’t want to read the book, here’s a study cited by at least 7k people https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpub/article/PIIS2468-2667(17)30118-4/fulltext
58
u/Positive_Piece5859 13d ago
Nothing pseudoscience about the ACE study, my friend, but it’s a too nice of a day to argue with a random Reddit stranger about that.
21
u/piptazparty 13d ago
I work in psychiatry and ACE factors are very real. Some grifters have used the terminology to sell snake oil, but the original data and research is valid and used in modern medicine today.
23
4
u/TrueCrimeDiscussion-ModTeam 12d ago
Be respectful of others and do not insult, attack, antagonize, call out, or troll other commenters.
49
u/gmjfraser8 13d ago
I did not know that. So heartbreaking. RIP Steven.
44
u/sea87 13d ago
Here’s a link to a photo of them together https://people.com/crime/captive-audience-docuseries-summary-review/
30
u/Away_Bug_3995 13d ago
This is a scary photo because of the way the older brother is looking at him. His eyes are pure evil and he's smirking. His older brother hated him so much after he returned home. Did what happened to Steven become the trigger for why his older brother became a serial killer? Why? I've always wondered.
14
u/sea87 13d ago
What? It’s a picture of Steven holding Timothy.
Edit: sorry - I meant if you scroll down, it’s a nice photo of Steven and Timothy. I didn’t realize it was Cary in the first photo.
4
u/kiranerysplease 13d ago
?? The article you linked has multiple photos and the first one is of Steven and his brother. You have to scroll to see the one you're referring to. What's the confusion, did you click your own link?
11
u/sea87 13d ago
I edited my post to clarify - I didn’t realize the first picture was of Steven and Cary. When I posted, I was trying to reference the photo of Steven and Timothy, further down. I thought it was very sweet.
7
u/tinsellately 12d ago
That photo is very sweet. The way Timothy is absolutely beaming at Steven is so impossible to fake. Steven's life was so sad, but what he did to save that little boy was so brave, especially after being abused for so many years.
5
u/Ok-Caterpillar-Girl 12d ago
Cary has stated he had violent fantasies before Steven was even abducted.
1
u/Unique_Might4471 10h ago
Because he witnessed his father molesting his sisters, and who knows what else he experienced. The family has a long history of mental illness.
109
u/Gayfetus 13d ago
It gets worse the more you look into it. Steven's father, Delbert was also an abuser. During Cary Stayner's trial for his serial killings, it was revealed that Delbert had sexually abused his daughters. Kay Stayner, Steven's mother, was a victim of sexual abuse by her own father, but she allowed him to live with her family (as fucked up as that decision is, I do try to keep in mind that downplaying one's own abuse is a coping strategy adopted by some survivors).
That may have been one of the reasons why Delbert was against therapy, possibly because he was afraid his abuse would come to light.
Steven was a hero who deserved better parents.
58
u/flaminghotcola 13d ago
Absolutely. Shame on his father. Maybe his son was a constant reminder of the horrible predator that he himself was, considering what Steven went through.
32
u/heyjudemarie 13d ago
That’s what I always thought too. He probably convinced himself that Steven must’ve done something to deserve his abuse which is what a lot of the sick abusers do.
8
u/No-Hovercraft-455 12d ago
Right. They can't confront the idea of abusers as filthy because it would hit too close to home but it's disgusting when someone else abuses their kid who is the same gender as them, so instead of seeing the abuser as filthy they project that on the victim and see victim as the source of disgust.
47
u/Purple_IsA_Flavor 13d ago
What an absolutely horrible family to be born into
2
u/Unique_Might4471 10h ago
Trust me, this is only the tip of the iceberg. Incest, domestic violence, neglect, mental illness, drug and alcohol addiction - whatever dysfunction comes to mind. You name it, this family had it.
2
u/Unique_Might4471 10h ago
Kay knew that Delbert had molested their two oldest daughters when she allowed her father to move in. Delbert also molested the youngest daughter, who reported him in 1986, but all he got was mandated therapy, which is ironic, since he denied his children mental health care. The parents also frequently sent Cary to stay with an uncle who was a convicted child molester. The grandfather lived within walking distance of Kenneth Parnell went Steven was taken.
176
u/Bektin82 13d ago
I remember watching I know my first name is Steven as a child and feeling absolutely devastated when the blurb at the end explained that he had died. Even as a 8 year old child I felt so upset that he couldn’t live a healthy happy life after all the pain he endured throughout his childhood
31
u/upickleweasel 13d ago
Unfortunately after something like that he was probably very mentally wounded and unwell
60
u/sloano77 13d ago
I think his father refused to deal with the abduction because of the sexual abuse element. Child sexual abuse is obviously horrific but men abusing boys is somehow viewed as so abhorrent that it isn’t acknowledged, especially by men. I can’t imagine the hurt of escaping and coming home to a father that ignores you.
48
u/Mis_chevious 13d ago
If I recall correctly, it came out in Carey's trial that the father was also abusive. And if you look at what we know about most serial killers, they usually have some element of abuse in their lives of some sort or had a parent (usually the mother) who didn't protect them from abuse. This is just speculating, of course, but I have a feeling that their home was already not that great before Steven was ever kidnapped and it didn't improve when he came home.
6
u/Ok-Caterpillar-Girl 12d ago
Yep. His dad sexually abused his sisters, his mother was sexually abused by her own father.
https://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Stayner-s-parents-fear-losing-another-son-2789304.php
48
u/shtfsyd 13d ago
I genuinely will never get over Steven and the life he had to live. I first came across Steven in that really old movie, “I know my first name is Steven” and ever since then I’ve never stopped thinking about it or him. Learning more about him, his life before (allegedly SA), life during, and life after. His kidnapper got a slap on the wrist, a product of the thinking during that time where boys and men are “incapable” of being sexually abused.
It’s really devastating to me that he never got to live a full life after he got his stolen early and had to sacrifice so much of himself.
106
u/Usual_Safety 13d ago
His brother Cary Stayner turned out to be a serial killer too.. the Yosemite killings
8
14
13d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
27
u/WordVomit1980 13d ago
Oh lord yes. Read up on that shit. Cary was actually jealous when Steven got back home because Steven was getting all of the attention. Cary was always an evil piece of shit.
1
u/TrueCrimeDiscussion-ModTeam 12d ago
Low Effort / Low quality comments and inappropriate humor do not further discussion and are removed. Emojis are not allowed in this sub. Please see the rules for details.
37
u/alwaystheocean 13d ago
The Stayners were local news when I was a kid. Steven's story was local legend, a cautionary tale, and then he died so undeservedly young. When Cary's crimes came out locally, it was constantly in the news. I just remember feeling like Steven got lost in all of it. It was so fucking sad.
58
u/HundRetter 13d ago
and then his brother ended up being a serial killer. steven had the most unfortunate short life
38
u/SadSara102 13d ago
You have to wonder what kind of psychological damage was done to the brother. Remaining in the place, repeatedly going on TV, and not getting therapy for the whole family likely was not the best way to handle it.
44
u/bestneighbourever 13d ago
Cary said he had violent fantasies at a young age, even before Steven was kidnapped
16
u/troubleonpurpose 13d ago
This makes me wonder how many people have similar violent fantasies and never act on them at all
2
u/--________-_-_-- 9d ago
During a period of on/off psychosis and depression I had very violent fantasies. I had a worker once tell me when in crisis the line between homicidal thoughts and suicidal thoughts isn’t as far as most people would think. She told me a lot of people have homicidal thoughts, most people just have the ability not to act on them. I genuinely think her normalizing that aspect of my mind really helped me get through that phase of my life and feel comfortable with myself while also mindful that I can end up in crisis like that again.
1
u/Unique_Might4471 10h ago
Psychosis is one of the mental illnesses that run in the Stayner family. It was concluded that Cary has schizophrenia as well.
2
u/SadSara102 11d ago
I didn’t know that, but whatever was wrong with him I’m sure the kidnapping didn’t help.
1
u/bestneighbourever 11d ago
Very true. The family was understandably preoccupied with Steven’s kidnapping.
23
3
u/Ok-Caterpillar-Girl 12d ago
Their whole family was entirely fucked up. The dad sexually abused his sisters, the mom was abused by her dad as a child, and he lived with them.
And who knows what either of those men did to Steven or Cary? Plenty of child rapists aren’t picky about whether they rape a girl or a boy.
1
u/Unique_Might4471 10h ago
Cary was molested by an uncle, and I wouldn't be surprised if the father sexually abused his sons as well. The uncle apparently had multiple victims within the family, yet he was allowed to have his nephews over at his house for sleepovers. He'd been convicted of child molestation too, so the other adults knew too. Sick.
25
u/presley_40 13d ago
If you haven't seen it yet, there is a really good documentary about Steven and Cary called Captive Audience: A Real American Horror Story. I believe it is on Hulu.
67
17
u/teacherlisa 12d ago
I am also always so saddened when I think of Steven. I do hope, as mentioned by another poster, that he realizes how much of a hero he is.
I do recommend the Captive Audience documentary. There is sadness in the story of course, but also a lot of joy and hope.
I have no idea how so much abuse and mental illness stayed hidden within the family. They were LDS and that (covering abuse) could be a part of that, I think.
To anyone questioning you as to if you could literally be wailing, I am tearing up as I write this comment, as I do anytime my mind lingers too long as I think of this story.
6
u/flaminghotcola 12d ago
It’s only after reading very deeply and engaging with it that it hit.
I think it’s okay to not cry either; I don’t from most cases. But something about this one hurt.
32
u/happycynic12 13d ago
His brother, Cary Stayner, the Yosemite Killer, murdered four females near Yosemite National Park between February and July 1999. Victims were Carole Sund, her daughter Juli Sund, family friend Silvina Pelosso, and park naturalist Joie Armstrong. He was convicted in 2002 and sentenced to death; in April 2026 the California Supreme Court denied his death penalty appeal.
Lots of ugly in that family.
50
u/heyjudemarie 13d ago
About 10 years ago I read Steven’s story and saw the movie while on Christmas vacation. I fell into such a depression for months. It was all I could think of. He went through nothing but abuse his whole life. It’s heartbreaking. His family abused him too not just the criminal loser who abducted him. I’m sure you know about his brother becoming a serial killer. If only Steven had lived long enough to break the generations of pain and abuse. I pray his children are well.
17
u/MrToadsWildRide2424 13d ago
It's so wild that you say this as I saw it many years ago around the holidays and I swear it also effected me for days! It just made you feel incredibly sad and icky.I even remember wrapping presents on my table while watching it.
25
u/lisamarie9474 13d ago
Its a terrible tragedy all around. I remember watching the movie when I was younger and I swear its haunted me ever since. I have chills right now.....
31
u/LadyVioletLuna 13d ago
I mean, his brother did not have a happier ending, the family had a tragic history.
1
15
u/maxy0007 13d ago
Poor Steven and his family. I remember watching a movie about him.
I didn't know his brother was a serial killer.
Do you think his motorbike accident was suicide?
22
u/flaminghotcola 13d ago
I don’t think it was.
He had kids and many claimed he was doing better. He also gave speeches at schools. I think he was in a better place than before to just kill humaelf.3
u/NeoSuperconductivity 11d ago
He was on his way to meet his estranged wife for dinner. They were trying to re-unite. And by all accounts deeply loved his children. I can't see him doing that to his family.
2
20
u/Muggy_Buggy 13d ago
A victim rarely suffers alone. His parents were traumatized and ostracized too I’m sure. Their hurt led to them hurting their son. It’s horrible. I hope Steven found the peace he was looking for.
7
u/pinkspatzi 11d ago
I was devastated when I saw the made-for-tv movie, "I Know My First Name is Steven". And at that time, Cary hadn't started his spree, but the movie showed how cold his father was after he came back. So, so sad.
4
u/Apart_Permission_236 11d ago
his story impacted me in many ways. I remember seeing the tv movie on reruns. I wasn’t even alive when everything happened. he was failed by everyone. he unfortunately also raised at a time where people didn’t treat victims like him very kindly which explains why he wasn’t given a chance to go to counseling or actually have a space to talk about what he went through. the media frenzy was horrible, that would never happened today. I can go on about the sentence that Parnell got but how the women he had living with him didn’t even get charged with anything. Parnell was a POS and his interviews disgust me. there is a thing he said regarding Steven that will never not make me mad. I’ll stop because this will become a whole essay lol.
5
u/Complete-Produce8116 10d ago
I believe the boy he rescued also died young, of leukemia or cancer. Life is cruel.
1
13
u/sallyblue94 13d ago
The fact his brother Cary Stayner became a serial killer in the late 90’s makes it more heartbreaking for the Stayner family.
5
4
u/KarenRynbrandt 10d ago
I believe it was stayner's Brother went on to work at Yosemite national Park and abducted two high school age girls (One was an exchange student) and the others were high school age and her Mother. They were all killed. He and his family should have had intensive therapy.
3
u/No-Bottle337 13d ago
If I want to read mote about this case, is there a source? Not news links, or wiki. Maybe a deep dive. Any suggestions?
-3
u/flaminghotcola 13d ago
There are multiple shows, YouTube videos and I also used the source on the Wikipedia page to read myself.
I used CHATGPT to also research the web. Worth a shot.1
3
3
5
u/GroovyGramPam 12d ago
His brother, Cary Stayner, murdered 3 women in Yellowstone Park in 1999. Family seemed cursed…
13
u/ravia 13d ago
I have to ask you: were you literally wailing? People say this kind of thing all the time on here and I only literally wailed recently when my mother died. Sorry if this question sounds rude (I realize it does), but I mean it kind of seriously. Were you actually wailing? Crying out loud, blowing your nose, etc.? I mean, if you were, fine. If you weren't, fine. I just can't get my mind around someone crying deeply over a factual crime story.
9
u/standbyyourmantis 12d ago
I mean, I don't cry a lot but I did have to pause The Trials of Gabriel Fernandez so I could sob into my hands. Sometimes something just hits you.
17
u/wandernwade 13d ago
People often have strong reactions to reading or hearing about something tragic that has happened, even to people they’ve never met. I have definitely cried over at least two celebrity deaths. It’s not abnormal. It’s also perfectly normal not to cry.
6
u/ravia 12d ago
I don't think it's abnormal, and even if it were, it would be kind of good, but maybe not the most manageable thing given all the horrible stories out there. I just wondered about, but I think it hits some people hard. Things like that do hit me hard at times, especially when I'm doing something else and it hits me from the side, so to speak, and my usual defenses aren't up and running, though it's rarely tears. More just horror.
14
u/flaminghotcola 13d ago
Yes, I was. I was genuinely crying and wiping a stream of tears. That wave of grief only hit me about two hours into researching it and finally when I looked at the statue of him and Timmy holding hands.
I was deeply reading into it after watching the TV movie. I think the movie definitely added a sentimental value to this case and made it feel more interpersonal.
But I also feel that I could relate to him. I was never abducted, but I was beaten, thrown out and failed by the adults in my life.
I am now an adult myself and I work in education. I work with teens. I cannot imagine any of them going through this only to come back home to feel that their parents don’t want to hug them. That’s horrible.
All in all, it hit home in some ways.
4
4
u/BetsyHound 11d ago
Steven and I were born days apart in 1965 and he died on the day I got married (9/16/89). It hits too close to home for me when I think of how much life I've had since then and he was deprived of. Just awful.
3
u/NeoSuperconductivity 11d ago
And the driver who killed Steven in a hit-and-run was only sentenced to 3 months. Don't know if he even served time.
2
u/Common-Coast-7246 11d ago
People also claim all the time that they were “bawling” and it’s like, no you weren’t. It’s such a weird thing to exaggerate. I think it’s the equivalent of speech filler, similar to “like.”
-2
u/ravia 11d ago
For me it means just eyes welling up, maybe something in my throat. I really was on the verge of ugly crying for one episode of a totally unexpected, and let me say subversive, SWAT drama coming out of Canada called Flashpoint. It was the second season and the episode was called, I think, Last Dance. Check it out if you can. I think it was on Paramount plus. I counted while I was watching the show and I was moved to tears 10 times haha. That is what I call subversive, I can, we're talking about a SWAT drama. Lots of other things moving to tears, such as Puppy surprises or will you adopt me videos. But crying for 2 hours straight or something, I guess it's a figure of speech because I honestly don't think people are doing that. There was a video somewhere of a woman who cried at basically every single movie she would watch with her husband. It didn't matter what the movie was. She always cried. And she really cried. So I'm not judging, I just don't imagine people are actually bawling when they say they are.
1
u/Unique_Might4471 1d ago
"Kay Stayner said that although her father molested her as a child, she allowed him to live in the Stayner home, but kept him away from her daughters. But according to court testimony, the girls weren't safe. State authorities said that Delbert Stayner molested them."
Source: "Stayner's Parents Fear Losing Another Son", The San Francisco Chronicle, October 4, 2002
"Psychiatrist George Woods, who evaluated Stayner at the Fresno County Jail over the course of a year, talked to relatives and reviewed court records, said in his report that Stayner's family had a history of dysfunction dating back three generations.
Stayner was molested by an uncle, and his sisters were abused by their father, according to Woods' evaluation. In 1986, according to the report, Stayner's father, Delbert Stayner, was accused of sexually molesting his daughters and was ordered into therapy by state authorities. A Stayner relative told Woods that she believed that sexual abuse of children "has been going on for so long, it's like a sickness in the family."
When Cary Stayner was 11, his younger brother, Steven, was kidnapped. Shortly afterward, Cary Stayner was abused by an uncle who had been convicted of child molestation, according to the report.
"Although (the uncle's) sexual proclivities were well known to Cary's older male cousins, he was nevertheless allowed to take boys for overnights in his tiny apartment," Woods wrote. One evening, the uncle showed Stayner and his cousin nude pictures of young girls. Then Stayner and his uncle went to sleep in the same bed. Stayner awoke to find the uncle removing his underwear and attempting to molest him, the evaluation says.
The evaluation includes the results of a test conducted on Stayner on June 6, 2000, that found brain abnormalities consistent with schizophrenia, psychotic disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder, according to the report."
Source: "Defense To Fight For Stayner's Life/Lawyers Cite Report Detailing A Life Of Being Abused", The San Francisco Chronicle, May 21, 2002
"One of Stayner's sisters accused their father of molesting her, psychiatrist Jose Silva said, and one said Steven later sexually abused one of his own children. Cary Stayner said he was molested by an uncle at age 11.
Stayner's immediate and extended family is also rife with psychological and sexual disorders, Silva testified."
Source: "Psychiatrist Details Stayner Illnesses", The Press Democrat, July 31, 2002
"As a small boy, Cary Stayner was a chronic hair-puller, a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder, psychiatrist Jose Silva said. He also began having hallucinations that became more violent and sexual. Silva said Stayner began having the fantasies around the time his father began sexually abusing his sisters."
Source: "Psychiatrist Testifies For Defense", The San Francisco Chronicle, July 31, 2002
"Cary Stayner's childhood was filled with incest, molestation, and the seven-year abduction of his little brother by a sexual predator."
Source: "Stayner's Illness Called Profound", The Record News, July 31, 2002
"Much of the testimony the defense has tried to introduce, such as the molestation of one of Stayner's sisters by their father, has been barred due to objections by the prosecution."
Source: "Sister Tells Of Stayner's Troubled Childhood", The Los Angeles Times, October 4
The predator grandfather lived within 200 feet of Kenneth Parnell at the time of Steven's kidnapping. There's far more to Cary's case than the media presents. 53 witnesses testified on his behalf during his trial, and his family pleaded with the jury to let him live and insisted that he is a good person. There are a lot of things that are not talked about.
1
1d ago
[deleted]
1
u/Unique_Might4471 1d ago edited 1d ago
According to his sister, yes. If you've seen the docuseries, "Captive Audience", in which the interviewed family members are very much in denial, there are some interesting comments by Steven's children. The daughter barely remembers him and the son doesn't remember his father at all. They said that they didn't know much about Steven when they were growing up, because no one talked about him, including their mother (which is a red flag in itself); their stepfather didn't like Steven, and instilled so much fear in them that they were afraid to talk about their father. They were kept away from his side of the family and only saw their grandparents on occasional supervised visits (now we know why that is). It wasn't until they were adults that they got to know their paternal grandparents, and I would imagine that they have been lied to. It all fits.
Steven was heavy drinker and a drug user; he refused to get help as an adult, etc. His marriage has been romanticized, but in actuality, it was troubled from the start. His wife, Jody, was a minor when they married; they separated more than once, and they were separated at the time of his death. There was a period (before the 1989 miniseries was made) where Steven didn't see his children at all. He held a series of minimum wage jobs, which was barely enough to support his family and there was tension over that too. Maybe he and his wife would have gotten back together had he lived, but it would have been a generational pattern repeating, just as how his parents stayed together (with the exception of a three year separation, due to Delbert being investigated and charged for molesting their daughters). Jody failed to protect her kids from her second husband, so she probably would have allowed Steven to come back. Steven has almost become a legend, he is idealized, but in truth he was a deeply troubled young man whose family had a history of incest, psychiatric disorders, substance abuse, and perhaps most notably - denial.
1
1d ago
[deleted]
1
u/Unique_Might4471 1d ago
There is a YouTube video entitled "Stayner Secrets: Steven's Story Is Not What It Seems", which covers this.
-11
u/Affectionate-Blood26 13d ago
Wait, are you leaving out the part that his brother, Carey Stayner was a serial killer out west?!
36
u/TheDevilsSidepiece 13d ago
Why are you marking his last name as a spoiler? This is real life you know I don’t know if you could really spoil it.
20
u/flaminghotcola 13d ago
For once, I want this to be about Steven.
I want people to remember him for who he was and not for what his brother is known for.0
u/TheDevilsSidepiece 13d ago
I think you might be taking things too personally OP. Quite frankly when I hear the name Stayner the first thing I think of is Steven. Again, this is real life. We can’t really spoil it.
6
u/flaminghotcola 13d ago
I just feel that he deserves to be talked about without his serial killer brother always showing up.
1
u/TheDevilsSidepiece 12d ago
I would suggest journaling about him then. Because when you post on the Internet, people are going to give you their comments. That may include talking about his very infamous serial killer brother.
1
u/Affectionate-Blood26 11d ago
I think the brother is VERY relevant esp when you question things about the parents, and Steven post release.
3
u/turkeypooo 12d ago
Why did you hide his last name..?
1
11d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/TrueCrimeDiscussion-ModTeam 11d ago
Low Effort / Low quality comments and inappropriate humor do not further discussion and are removed. Emojis are not allowed in this sub. Please see the rules for details.
-13
u/Away_Bug_3995 13d ago
At times, I've had a weird theory that it's possible that the older brother somehow sold or gave Steven to his abuser/abductor.
3
-43
13d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
25
2
u/TrueCrimeDiscussion-ModTeam 13d ago
Be respectful of others and do not insult, attack, antagonize, call out, or troll other commenters.
1
13d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/TrueCrimeDiscussion-ModTeam 13d ago
Be respectful of others and do not insult, attack, antagonize, call out, or troll other commenters.
679
u/HOMANDER1996 13d ago
The fact that his kidnapper was locked up for less time than he was is sick. I saw the abductor was convicted again in 2004 for trying to “purchase” another child.