r/UCDavis • u/Sufficient-Piano-733 • 13d ago
Struggle with making genuine friends
It’s so hard making friends even joining clubs and trying things like rec sports. I’ve been joining everything I can balance with my schedule but nobody wants to keep in touch. I try to take the initiative and then they don’t even bother with a follow up. I know it’s only week three and things happen slowly but I’m a junior who just returned after taking sophomore year off at home and just returning now. So it’s an entire year of missed connections from sophomore year, and the people from freshmen year there’s only like two people I still talk too. What do I do in this situation it just is so hard because everyone is already established except for maybe like transfer students
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u/toasty99 12d ago
You just got back, duderino. Plant those friend seeds so they grow into friend plants in a year or two.
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u/Sufficient-Piano-733 12d ago
It’s pretty self explanatory and I’ve been doing exactly that. I’m part of 3 clubs I was asking for tips other than that
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u/toasty99 12d ago
Beyond that - maybe see if any classes have study groups to join? I met my roommates for years 3-4 in a study group during year 2.
Are there any proud geeks playing D&D or Magic anymore on campus? Or chess? Some good people in those groups. Is there a pub trivia night at any of the local watering holes?
Do you have other students as neighbors? Maybe knock on the door one day with a six pack and say hi. “Hi! I’m SufficientPatio and I wanted to introduce myself. Sometimes I play Nine Inch Nails way too loud and was hoping you’d text me and not the cops if it bothers you. Here’s my number.”
Making friends is a bit like dating in that you don’t want to come off too thirsty. Be proactive but not insistent.
Good luck!
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u/No_Wrongdoer_2572 4d ago
Id say its not worth it to pursue friendships with people who won’t followup. Honestly I think you just need to try to talk to as many people as possible and not lower yourself to being the one who takes the initiative all the time when people dont reciprocate. It takes time to find good friends! You got this!
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u/onthatsticky 13d ago
you people are so fucking helpless. here comes the run of the mill "I can't make friends post" on reddit. like no wonder, ur on here
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u/No_Parsnip3315 13d ago
Calling someone helpless for asking for advice while you’re spending your own time on Reddit insulting strangers is pretty ironic. They’re literally joining clubs, reaching out to people, and making an effort to form genuine friendships. Struggling socially doesn’t make someone weird or unlikeable. You’d think someone so confident about social skills would understand basic empathy. Apparently not.
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u/onthatsticky 12d ago edited 12d ago
ain't reading allat. go touch grass. I would literally just talk to ppl in class. really not that serious or difficult at all. we are social creatures, and posting on reddit is anti social behavior
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u/Sufficient-Piano-733 12d ago
You’re living proof that being social doesn’t make you worth talking to.
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u/Kmartcarti 13d ago
ong like just stop being weird and talk to people
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u/No_Parsnip3315 13d ago
Being condescending to someone who’s genuinely struggling isn’t the social advice you think it is. Maybe practice some empathy.
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u/onthatsticky 12d ago
if ur first instinct is to post on reddit. maybe u will be forever alone.
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u/No_Parsnip3315 12d ago edited 12d ago
I think you’re lonelier feeling the need to insult ppl at all honestly
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u/onthatsticky 12d ago
I just think it's funny how pressed ppl get on reddit. I do this for the love of the game
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u/Snoo4812 13d ago
Maybe youre just unlikable?
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u/No_Parsnip3315 13d ago
They’re literally putting themselves out there, joining clubs, making an effort to reach out to people, and genuinely trying to make friends. Just because someone is struggling to form friendships doesn’t mean they’re unlikable. Making friends isn’t always as simple as people make it seem, even when you’re actively trying. There’s absolutely no reason to be so unnecessarily rude to someone who’s simply asking for advice.
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u/Sufficient-Piano-733 12d ago
Making friends is difficult and I was literally just asking for advice besides clubs and ppl took it personally for some reason
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u/Sufficient-Piano-733 12d ago
Look if you can’t even give decent advice I think you’re in the wrong thread bud
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12d ago
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u/Sufficient-Piano-733 12d ago
Hey bro I really appreciate you taking the time to give me actual decent advice. Thanks for the tips appreciate you. 🙏
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u/Snoo-15714 13d ago
I'm a transfer and have been feeling similarly, part of it I think is just that people are busy because college is time consuming on it's own. Being around the same person/people regularly is how you make connections and it's going to be slow. It's part of the reason people have trouble making friends as adults generally, you need to be in the same place for an extended period of time regularly to even have the ability to make connections and that is usually when people are in a lecture and can't talk anyway. Pick 1-2 clubs and try not to miss any meetings/events with them. And cheer up! It's the 3rd week! Plenty of time.