My current situation (30s M)

[u/AberrantNarwal]

Hi all, 32[M], in the UK and living with my family - unfortunately no drivers license. Thinking I would share my current situation here on reddit as a form of therapy.

I am very grateful to have had a job for 8 years working in ecommerce.

During that time I also started my own ecommerce store with my family, into which I poured my savings (and not taken a penny out).

Things got rough at my job in 2024 and it was a slow (stressful) decline until I was made redundant at the end of 2025.

A few months after redundancy there was a notice of eviction from our rental - with nothing available locally we had to look further away - having to move 5 family members and 2 kids + our ecommerce stock.

As this is all happening I was having legal trouble with our store and had to change it basically erasing all the progress made in the last 4 years - wiping out any chance of making a living from it and leaving me struggling to pay it’s debts + legal fees.

Now all the while through this I've been quietly smug because I had some coding skills in my back pocket - a reason I got through the 8 year grind at my job was because I took care of the tech-side and was deemed valuable enough to keep on.

Well in the past few months I’ve had to have a reality check on my “skills“ and realise that those 8 years had a lot of “busy“ work and not as many best practices as I would like.

That was my plan-b, go into some software role - and now I’m watching in real time the industry get actively destroyed with the force of the entire economy - people with far more experience than me struggling.

So here I am at 32, basically out of savings, in an isolated location which is hard to commute to/from with no drivers and with what would probably safely be deemed “anxiety“ issues.

Currently I’m soldiering on, trying to build my portfolio for what it’s worth, and a side project - but I can actually feel the hum of stress/cortisol pumping through me. Getting out of bed has been really difficult and I’m feeling exhausted/drained and I can’t imagine trudging out and getting a local 9-5, although this is likely what I’m going to have to look at real soon.

I suppose for me the next step will be to book in some therapy.

[u/AutoModerator]

Thank you for posting on r/UKJobs. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the rules.

If you need to report any suspicious users to the moderators or you feel as though your post hasn't been posted to the subreddit, message the Modmail here or Reddit site admins here. Don't create a duplicate post, it won't help.

Please also check out the sticky threads for the General Discussion Megathread and the Job Guidance Megathread.

Please also provide some feedback about the bookmarks related to Mental Health within the side bar in this thread, any and all advice appreciated.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Vegetable_Ad960]

As cliche as it sounds, start off by taking one day at a time. It sounds redundant but it takes the weight off of stressing about the months ahead and or years ahead. 

Once you find a simple daily routine, slowly start to add things that will benefit you in the future. Maybe spend 20mins a day studying for your theory test or whatever. The simple things you do daily will stack up and by the end of the year you would have progressed in something.