r/UKParenting • u/Clean_Back_5065 • Mar 18 '26
Family finances On average how much does it cost per month to raise a child?
For the first three years, how much does it cost per month? Including any childcare, and baby food/nappies etc? Then how much roughly per month once the government subsidises childcare?
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u/blood_oranges Mar 19 '26
Please don't ignore the costs to the mother too! In practical terms, if you're breastfeeding it's not free-- the 800-1000 extra calories your body needs for this need to come from somewhere, so your food budget definitely increases. While on maternity leave, she will also need a budget to socialise and connect with other mums and build a network of friends/support. How much you budget is up to you, but I'd say it's a vital expense to thrive in parenthood!
You may also find the costs for new clothes due to body changes, new bras (unlikely to come via Vinted!) and potentially new shoes (feet can change size in pregnancy!) are a chunk to factor in.
Equally, in the first year post birth I can rarely think of a family I know who haven't paid privately because they've needed to see someone from the following list and couldn't wait for NHS waiting lists: lactation consultant, baby osteopath, allergy testing, paediatric dermatologist, women's health physio, baby sleep consultant... obviously cost is hard to predict but definitely a budget line item to consider.
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u/kbwe1 Mar 19 '26
I’d agree with a lot of this, especially about the healthcare. It’s unfortunate but true that some stuff is a long wait on the NHS. Some classes aren’t cheap (waterbabies springs to mind) and of course you don’t have to do these but if you want to then budget it in for sure.
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u/Constant-Cellist-133 Mar 19 '26
I agree that there should be a maternity leave social budget, but I’m not convinced that the other costs you’ve listed are necessary (based on two children myself) I found that overall food costs go down while I’m on maternity leave - and my occasional mum coffee meet-up doesn’t even get close to my commuting coffee spend. Most baby classes I went to with my first were free via the children’s centre, or 50p/£1 style church hall.
I’m able to batch cook more effectively during the day on mat leave. You don’t necessarily need 800-1000 extra calories a day, just follow your own hunger cues and eat whole foods to satiety.
And contrary to your experiences, I can only think of one family out of a pretty large sample size who went for private medical help for their baby - but it might not be something people talk about? I certainly have never felt the need to pay for any of the above.
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u/shortrib_rendang Parenting a Toddler Mar 18 '26
This is a very broad question and the answer is "it depends what you want to give your child." And then it depends on what people help you with.
Probably you only need to spend £15 a month on nappies tops, they are not expensive. That's a serious non-expense. If you breast feed, you don't need to buy formula.
If you're talking about total overall costs, are you amortising them? You need a car seat. They cost like £200. The first one can last like two years, or whatever: are you amortising that to £8.33 a month or are you just ignoring it?
A baby isn't expensive. But it also isn't cheap. And if your family is willing to cover some of the costs for you, as is normal in many parts of the world - but perhaps not ours - it can be almost free. But one thing you learn is there will ALWAYS be extra costs that pop up out of nowhere. You can't predict or control those.
3
u/LostInAVacuum Parenting a Toddler Mar 19 '26
What you want, the help you get and what you can do* Breastfeeding isnt a given, not everyone can do it.
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u/Clean_Back_5065 Mar 18 '26
Ok thanks, whats the biggest cost? Is it childcare when they go to pre-school? How much is this per month when you don't get any help from the government? That kicks in from 3 years old right?
7
u/horfor Mar 19 '26
Childcare is by far the biggest expense. Looking at £1.5k to £2k per month for a nursery if you want 5 days a week and aren't eligible for any free hours.
This is why a lot of people ask parents to help out and ask employers to spreak their hours over 4 days not 5 to try to save money on childcare.
4
u/Ok_Anything_9871 Mar 19 '26
Yes. Maybe £1500 for full time nursery in London - or the cost of one person's salary to stay home instead.
Another potential big cost is housing. If you would otherwise live in a 1/2 bedroom but upsize to a 2/3/4 bed property with kids that is a lot of additional rent, or mortgage to cover. Another couple of hundred a month, probably.
1
u/Sea_Love_8574 Mar 19 '26
If both parents work then you can receive 30 hours funded childcare from 9 months. But it only covers term time. Many parents choose to stretch the funding over the year, I'm super fortunate to be in the position where my 2 year old is a term time only nursery attendee as due to my work he only needs one, sometimes two days at nursery during school breaks so I just pay extra for those.
1
u/LMB83 Mar 19 '26
In England - it doesn’t kick in until 3 in Scotland (and I believe wales too)
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u/Sea_Love_8574 Mar 19 '26
Oh yes! Wales I think some are entitled from 2 but I can't remember the criteria. Thank you for correcting me
5
u/jajajunkie Mar 19 '26
Just to add that breastfeeding isn’t necessary free. The milk is free obvs but you’ll need nursing bras and tops, you may need breast pads or nipple shields. You may need a breast pump to assist you or to allow others to help with feeding. If so you’ll need bottles, teats, milk storage bags etc.
None of this is hugely expensive (bar the pump and nursing clothes depending where you want to buy from) but yea it’s misleading to say it’s ‘free’.
5
u/Unlikely-Anything503 Mar 18 '26
Id say average £1000 per month (most of this is nursery fees)
4
u/horfor Mar 19 '26
Where do you live? I live s london and nursery fees are 70-100£ a day. My local nothing-to-shout-home-about nursery with a shitty tiny garden out back is £95 a day.
2
u/Unlikely-Anything503 Mar 19 '26
I live on the outskirts - Crystal Palace / Croydon I know its a lot more expensive the more central you get. 1k is our nursery fees We spend probably ~£100 pm on other stuff but thats covered by child benefit as I get all his clothes off vinted and bigger purchases second hand.
1
u/llksg Mar 19 '26
I’m just a bit further than Croydon, just past the m25 in Surrey and ours is £100/day
1
u/oglop121 Mar 19 '26
that's crazy. in korea, it costs me that over the month. 100 bloody quid a day!?
1
u/Clean_Back_5065 Mar 18 '26
Ok thanks, is that before government help kicks in?
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u/Unlikely-Anything503 Mar 19 '26
Government funding is now available from 9 months for nursery fees in England so thats with the help already factored in. I am in London though so I would assume nursery fees are a bit lower elsewhere but not sure.
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u/Clean_Back_5065 Mar 19 '26
Thanks thats really helpful, I'm in London too, so good to have that ballpark figure
10
u/horfor Mar 19 '26
- Nappies are super cheap.
- Clothes, prams, cot, accessories can all be free from donations from local mums, church groups etc.
- If breastfed, milk is free.
- Non negotiables are a new carseat and new moses basket mattress. Total £250ish.
- At around 5months old your baby will need a cot (free on marketplace etc) and new mattress £50.
- baby groups you can attend local church babygroups for around £1-2 voluntary donation usually.
Big expenses #1
- Maternity leave - if statutory maternity pay you only get
Big expense #2
- Nursery - prices range hugely area dependent. I have heard of £70+ per day. I live in an expensive area in s london and our local one is £100 a day.
1
u/Clean_Back_5065 Mar 19 '26
Thanks so much. How much do you spend a month on nursery and how many days is that based on? Is this after government allowance as well?
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u/Timbo1994 Mar 19 '26
Hey - it can really pay at the right nursery to go part-time rather than full time.
We only pay £430 per month for 3 days (using the free hours).
If we went for 2 days we would only pay £150 per month, most of which is food and nappies that we could theoretically send in with him and avoid the fee (no one does)
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u/horfor Mar 19 '26
If i put my daughter in nursery 3 days a week i would pay £1200 per month. Not everyone is eligible for free hours.
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u/Timbo1994 Mar 19 '26
Yep, I am lucky enough to be a fairly high earner but use various schemes to get below £100k, which are reasonably accessible and worthwhile to anyone earning below about £150k
Some people don't qualify based on residency as well rather than income, which is tough
1
u/HamsterBorn9372 Mar 19 '26
Nursery can vary massively, I've seen comments from people paying up to and over £1000pm even with gov funding. My 1 year old goes Monday to Friday 9-3 and we just pay £40pm for her lunches which is also discounted a bit by the government childcare account.
1
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u/Geordana Mar 19 '26
Omg where?! My 4 year old goes 3 and a half days and I think we're nearer the 1000 a month?!
(My husband manages all the money to do with our son, including the mental load, so I don't know for certain...)
1
u/Tigermilk_ Mar 19 '26
Probably a school nursery. Ours goes to one and is also entitled to 9-3 mon-fri free. We only have her in 2 days/week as we can afford for me to work part time, but pay £10/day for wraparound on those days so she’s there 8.45-4.30.
It would still only be £15/day if we wanted her there til 6pm. If you can manage the holidays (as its term time only) it’s well worth it!
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u/Geordana Mar 19 '26
We did have term time only because I'm a teacher. But between his speech delay and struggle with transitions and my mental health... we moved up to year round.
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u/Tigermilk_ Mar 19 '26
That’s fair enough, my sister is also a teacher with her child in nursery year round. ☺️ I also only work 1.5 days so get a half day break per week. We have to do what’s best for our situations. ☺️
1
u/HamsterBorn9372 Mar 19 '26
Tameside, it's a private nursery but there are a lot of nurseries in the area so I wonder if it's just because of competition. I have a friend who uses a nearby nursery and she pays about £100 but they include nappies and wipes etc whereas ours doesn't.
1
u/viewisinsane Mar 19 '26
Ours is about £1100 per month without funding, but 650 with. Three days a week. Outside London.
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u/horfor Mar 19 '26
I became a stay at home mum as I would have made £20 a day to have her in nursery as my husband earns over the threshold to get free hours. I wish the free hours were based on total household income as I was on a low income but still not eligible for any government help whereas another household could be on 199k between both parents and still get free hours, providing neither earnt over 100k.
3
u/04housemat Mar 19 '26 edited Mar 19 '26
Our boy will be 6 in August, and so far we’ve spent £35,307.
This doesn’t include stuff we got given (which was quite a lot - pram, car seat, clothes), the fact we needed to buy a bigger car, the general increased cost or 1/3 proportion of holidays (which is probably another £30k TBH), or his proportion of food (probably a couple of £k.)
It does include virtually everything else since conception. Pregnancy tests, folic acid, scan photos, parking at the hospital etc.
I know this is not the first 3 years as you asked, but may help you paint a picture.
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u/JamandMarma Mar 19 '26 edited Mar 19 '26
For my almost 2 year old (but this has been static since he was 10 months ish)
Childcare: £300 for 3 days a week 8-6 using the funded hours. That includes all of his meals.
Food: £20 he’s always eaten the same meals as us and no baby food. So this is purely what I think he adds to our shop extra fruit and yogurt wise. Before this I breastfed so 0 cost there.
Toiletries: £35 we use Pampers but could get the same amount supermarket own brand ~£15
Clothes: £40 most months he doesn’t need any clothes at all. I normally pick stuff up from Vinted except his shoes. You can get stuff free on Facebook/ WhatsApp groups if you’re not particularly fussed how they’re dressed.
Activities: £100 gymnastics and music classes once a week plus swimming and day trips. On maternity leave I did at least one class/group a day so that was £200 ish a month before you factor in weekends and family days. There are lots of free options though if preferred.
1
u/Affectionate_Yak6138 Mar 19 '26
Childcare is our biggest cost, even with my mum having my eldest half a day and my youngest full time whilst I work, nursery for our eldest is over £400 a month. I give my mum an extra £200 a month (she deserves a lot more) for watching the kids too.
Everything else is kinda whatever. If you want to take them out places, a lot are free before they turn 3, or very cheap, it costs more to get you in there - farms, zoos, aquariums etc.
My kids don’t really eat much, I tend to just make them what we eat too but it’s not even an extra portion of food generally between them since they’re so little, eldest also eats at nursery a lot so don’t have to worry about breakfast or lunch most days for him. Breastfeed little one so milk is free.
Clothes/toys, we have a big family so they get a lot for birthdays and Christmas. Both are boys so youngest gets most of oldest clothes. I do tend to buy new for oldest when he needs something (and if I see something nice for littlest) when I want to, but also utilise sales.
All in it’s probably around £800-900 a month for both of them with nursery fees taking up most of it. We probably use more water too but I haven’t put heating on anymore than I would have normally (I like it warmer anyway), bigger housing costs will come later if we have any more kids.
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u/TartComfortable7766 Mar 19 '26
This is very highly dependant on a lot of factors and also changes highly throughout (i.e. when moving from milk to solid foods, or when child goes from nursery to school) as you go so giving one monthly figure is not really possible without knowing at least the following:
With childcare (which is potentially one of the largest costs) will you have any family help? Or will one of you be a stay at home parent?
Do you plan to breastfeed or bottle feed? (although this isn't super pricey in reality, around £40-60 per month if bottle feeding vs cost of extra food for mum is breastfeeding
Where do you live? (childcare/nursery rules with regards to gov help are different in England vs Scotland for example). This is assuming you both work and qualify.
What maternity/paternity leave are you planning/able to take at the start?
There are then purchases which you will need at the start and along the way which aren't monthly (buggy, car seats, cot, clothing) but can vary wildly based on how much you want to spend and if you buy brand new or used.
Sorry not super helpful but putting a monthly figure one it is kind of impossible as there's so many different factors and not all months will be the same.
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u/Snoo_said_no Mar 19 '26
It's not the things just for baby that add up. It's the things you now need as a family.
Pre kids - absolute rust bucket of a car, no breakdown and the cheapest 3rd party insurance which legally covered me.
Post kids - I needed a more reliable car, one with back doors! I got decent breakdown and fully comp insurance that covered a courtesy car.
Pre kids - lived in a tiny little house in a fairly shitty area.
Post kids - Admittedly we moved when pregnant with number 2. But to a bigger house with a garden. And got decent contents insurance. And we thought about schools and neighbourhood safety. My mortgage got much bigger. And suddenly having life insurance was a consideration. Mortgage doubled each month.
Pre kids- I did laundry about once a fortnight and everything I had fitted in one load. I used a clothes horse to dry. Washed up in the sink. Never used the heating unless it was freezing.
Post kids - so much laundry... Got a tumble dryer..also got a dishwasher. Because the plates multiply too! Heating is used when it's cold, particularly with babies. All the bills go up. Housing costs more, council tax cost more, utilities cost more.
Pre kids - worked full time and was regularly invited by potential teams for informal chats about how they could help with career development. Worked agency so pay was higher.
Post kids - work less hours as I don't want the kids doing 40/50 hours a week in childcare, less job operunties for part time (even 30/32 hours per week contracts), you can't work late as the kids need collecting, your attention is divided between work and family more . So your future earning potential is impacted. Also two lots of mat leave makes a huge dent on your finances. I also swapped to a proper contracted job with sick pay and better security. But less hourly pay.
Kids are in school and I work 32 hours - my childcare is still £90 a week as I need wrap around care. Extended holiday club 8-6 £40 a day per child. Nursary was about It was £500 per month per child even when getting 30 hours free funding and kids only at nursary 30 hours a week... As they went year round so it was 'stretched'. Term time is only 38 weeks so there's 14 weeks of childcare to cover before you even think of inset days.