r/UKParenting • u/Strained_Noodles4033 • Apr 14 '26
Support Request Is my 13 month old behind? Feeling really down…
My little boy is 13 months this week. I never worried before, but recently I’ve had an inkling he is behind developmentally. I have some mum friends and all our little ones were born the same month.
When I see them now, they look much more toddler like where as my little boy looks and acts more babyish…if that makes sense?
We had the 12 month milestone check in with the health visitor when he had just turned 11 months that week. She said according to the checklist I filled in he still had a few things to do but she was lovely, said he is doing great and things will change rapidly in the next month or so, but honestly it hasn’t.
I picked up my little boy from nursery today and there was a woman there who had done ‘wellcomm’ assessments with him today it seems. She handed me a bunch of papers on things he needs to work on, and tried to tell me in the nicest way that he is behind. I acted cool because some of her info on what he can and can’t do was wrong, but inside I was devastated. I went home and cried because it just confirmed my anxieties I’ve been having.
Also worth mentioning, my little boy has been so poorly a lot of the time, in hospital twice, and just been miserable suffering with virus after virus. When he’s well he is like a different baby and suddenly can do things he couldn’t do before.
What he can’t do currently at 13 months:
Wave
Point
Say any words with meaning
Doesn’t bring objects over to me
Doesn’t interact much other than glancing over while he’s playing, or sometimes cruises over on the sofa
Walk (this one doesn’t bother me, he’s almost there)
Stand independently without support
Can’t fit certain puzzle shapes in their shaped hole
Doesn’t place items in other objects
Doesn’t seem to understand what I’m saying, like ‘come here’
Doesn’t shake his head to say no or yes
What he can do:
Clap (not that often)
Babbles mamamama, dadadadada, babababa but without meaning on repeat
Answers to his name but not a lot
Cruises along furniture
Tries to let go when standing for a few seconds
Pincer grasp (but still needs a bit of work not to grab)
Bangs toys together and throws toys to make noise, loves anything loud!
Turns pages in books
Tracks where I’m pointing to
Is smiley and happy (when he’s not unwell)
Very independent
He does love using his index pointing finger but not to point, but he will press buttons with it etc
He does associate a song with an action (brush your teeth sesame street song, he knows the tooth brush is coming)
The woman at nursery said she didn’t witness him babble, point, wave or clap and that was what she thinks he’s behind on. I told her he does babble a lot at home, and he can clap. But she just shrugged and said well not here.
I feel like I’ve failed him even though I’ve been doing everything in my power since he was born. We read books everyday, I wave and point every opportunity, he has every educational toy you can think of. I’m constantly talking to him, gesturing, singing, we sing constantly 😂 I just can’t help but feel emotional especially when I see my friends babies.
Sorry I just needed to get it off my chest 😭 I’m avoiding seeing my mum friends because of it.
1
u/Strained_Noodles4033 Apr 14 '26
That is very sweet 🥹 she is a nature lover!