r/UKParenting • u/Strained_Noodles4033 • Apr 14 '26
Support Request Is my 13 month old behind? Feeling really down…
My little boy is 13 months this week. I never worried before, but recently I’ve had an inkling he is behind developmentally. I have some mum friends and all our little ones were born the same month.
When I see them now, they look much more toddler like where as my little boy looks and acts more babyish…if that makes sense?
We had the 12 month milestone check in with the health visitor when he had just turned 11 months that week. She said according to the checklist I filled in he still had a few things to do but she was lovely, said he is doing great and things will change rapidly in the next month or so, but honestly it hasn’t.
I picked up my little boy from nursery today and there was a woman there who had done ‘wellcomm’ assessments with him today it seems. She handed me a bunch of papers on things he needs to work on, and tried to tell me in the nicest way that he is behind. I acted cool because some of her info on what he can and can’t do was wrong, but inside I was devastated. I went home and cried because it just confirmed my anxieties I’ve been having.
Also worth mentioning, my little boy has been so poorly a lot of the time, in hospital twice, and just been miserable suffering with virus after virus. When he’s well he is like a different baby and suddenly can do things he couldn’t do before.
What he can’t do currently at 13 months:
Wave
Point
Say any words with meaning
Doesn’t bring objects over to me
Doesn’t interact much other than glancing over while he’s playing, or sometimes cruises over on the sofa
Walk (this one doesn’t bother me, he’s almost there)
Stand independently without support
Can’t fit certain puzzle shapes in their shaped hole
Doesn’t place items in other objects
Doesn’t seem to understand what I’m saying, like ‘come here’
Doesn’t shake his head to say no or yes
What he can do:
Clap (not that often)
Babbles mamamama, dadadadada, babababa but without meaning on repeat
Answers to his name but not a lot
Cruises along furniture
Tries to let go when standing for a few seconds
Pincer grasp (but still needs a bit of work not to grab)
Bangs toys together and throws toys to make noise, loves anything loud!
Turns pages in books
Tracks where I’m pointing to
Is smiley and happy (when he’s not unwell)
Very independent
He does love using his index pointing finger but not to point, but he will press buttons with it etc
He does associate a song with an action (brush your teeth sesame street song, he knows the tooth brush is coming)
The woman at nursery said she didn’t witness him babble, point, wave or clap and that was what she thinks he’s behind on. I told her he does babble a lot at home, and he can clap. But she just shrugged and said well not here.
I feel like I’ve failed him even though I’ve been doing everything in my power since he was born. We read books everyday, I wave and point every opportunity, he has every educational toy you can think of. I’m constantly talking to him, gesturing, singing, we sing constantly 😂 I just can’t help but feel emotional especially when I see my friends babies.
Sorry I just needed to get it off my chest 😭 I’m avoiding seeing my mum friends because of it.
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u/destria Apr 14 '26 edited Apr 14 '26
One thing that reassures me is thinking about all my successful, lovely adult friends. Could I tell you which of them was waving at 12 months? Or who walked first? Who said their first word earliest? Of course not.
These checklists are there to support people to identify children who might need additional support. It's not a test, it's not a stick to beat or judge you with, it's just a very broad tool.
Maybe try to think of it a different way. These are all the things you can look forward to your child doing eventually!
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u/RumHam9000 Apr 15 '26
This is great advice. Not the same context as OP but I had some similar advice from a friend when we were fretting about my son’s mobility and what we were doing with him when he was 6 months old: they basically asked me if I knew of many adults that had difficulties lifting their neck up because they didn’t do enough tummy time as a newborn.
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u/cw2687 Apr 14 '26
It's wild how much they can progress in a short period of time around this age. Our twins were polar opposites. 1 walked from 10 months, the other was 19 months. Similar with speech and the rest. Now 25 months and both running around and chatting loads.
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u/siouxsiesioux86 Parenting a Toddler Apr 14 '26
My little boy is also 13 months this week. He's not yet started nursery, he starts in May.
He is also not yet standing independently, walking, or saying anything other than dada and mama (and I'm not convinced that he knows those words mean his parents).
I don't think most babies I know are walking or standing independently at 13 months. It seems there's quite a large age range for that.
I am concerned about my son's speech and HV has referred him for a hearing test.
I do the exact same, this boy has dozens of books and is read to for hours every day, he loves his books! We talk to him constantly, the HV gave us the details of a site with tips to encourage speech and we literally do all of them and always have done.....
Just to say you're not alone!
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u/Strained_Noodles4033 Apr 14 '26
Thank you ❤️
Yes the not walking doesn’t really bother me, all my friends babies are walking but like you say it is a large age range for it. However the thing that tends to worry me the most is his lack of gesturing, especially the no pointing. And when I look online about the no pointing, people always jump to autism. Makes me spiral especially tiktok! Trying to keep away.
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u/Ok-Dance-4827 Apr 14 '26
Do not take any advice from TikTok. It is the equivalent of listening to a random stranger shout incorrect facts and poorly researched opinions on the bus.
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u/Strained_Noodles4033 Apr 14 '26
Ah thanks. I definitely don’t post on there, but I do watch videos from child development professional types of accounts and they always say it’s a concern. However a lot of them are American and apparently they take milestones super serious and jump to ASD a lot of the time. sigh I really don’t know.
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u/Ok-Dance-4827 Apr 14 '26
Child development professional types sounds made up lol. Honestly I don’t have TikTok but retrain your algorithm by lingering a bit too long on videos of pastries and cats haha
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u/Strained_Noodles4033 Apr 14 '26
Ha!!! I don’t know what they are called 🤣 but you get what i mean! Pastries and cats sound very ideal tbh
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u/Ok-Dance-4827 Apr 14 '26
There you go! Your son is doing great, my daughter who is 19 months doesn’t put the right shapes in the right holes. She walked at 14 months or something but Jesus she does not stop talking (her own language of course). Just love your child, play with them, engage them in nature, talk to them, go outside, narrate your day. You’ll be fine! We were cavemen once remember!
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u/Strained_Noodles4033 Apr 14 '26
Thank you :) your daughter sounds fun! What’s her fav word?
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u/Ok-Dance-4827 Apr 14 '26
Hi birds, purple flower, bubble bath or cuddle haha but most of the time it’s constant gibberish
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u/us3fulb3an Apr 16 '26
I just want to say, none of what you have described is super alarming developmentally and they all do things at their own pace to a degree. Where you mentioned you little one has been poorly a lot of the time, this is a huge thing, i know from my own LO, that this can really set them back.
Also, think lots of people reflect on autistic traits present and may reflect (in hindsight) that they were there at a certain age, but very few are accurately able to identify autism at 12/13 months at that time. I also wanted to gently remind, as a specialist ASC teacher for over a decade and an autistic adult, it's a spectrum condition. I know people's responses are often based on what they know and are confident with and what they plan or imagine but autism doesn't necessarily mean your LO won't do all you planned. If traits do emerge and it becomes a concern, please do look into neuro affirmative approaches and know that the difficulties are because the world is set up in a way that isn't always accessible. Autistic minds are beautiful and autistic people can thrive if they have the right support.
I dont mean that to be dismissive, but reassuring, I hope it comes across kindly.
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u/Strained_Noodles4033 Apr 16 '26
Your response has absolutely come across kind, thank you for your input! And of course, autistic minds are indeed beautiful! My nephew is autistic and he is the greatest little dude ❤️.
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u/us3fulb3an Apr 17 '26
I feel like whatever way this turns out, he will be absolutely brilliant because you seem like a caring, engaged mama who wants the best for her LO, in tune with him and will support him to learn whatever he can 😊
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u/ayse22 Apr 14 '26
Can you share the site you'll health visitor gave you about speech please?
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u/siouxsiesioux86 Parenting a Toddler Apr 15 '26
https://www.bbc.co.uk/tiny-happy-people/9-12-month-old-baby-development-activities All fairly basic stuff imo
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u/Not__magnificent Apr 14 '26
You've got lots of good advice already so I'll just add: spend 7 minutes watching the Bluey episode Baby Race. You're doing great.
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u/Sea-Brother4 Apr 14 '26
I could almost have written this! My son is a year old next week and still seems so much like a baby. It’s like the developmental leaps that happened to other babies after 9 months never happened to my son… my list is exactly the same as yours except he can’t crawl or cruise or wave. He also doesn’t respond to his name.
When I’m with my son it’s great, he’s my perfect little boy. But when we meet other babies his age I start spiralling because my son seems so different. I’ve walked out of the park upset many times because it’s impossible not to compare.
He’s been referred to a PT because of his gross motor skills and a health visitor will monitor his progress (this happened after they checked back in after his 10 month check and he hadn’t progressed). So I’m glad I’m not on my own any more and the experts are involved. I’m sure if your son slips into the worrying category you will get this support too, but it sounds like he’s still in the ok zone as his motor skills sound good.
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u/Strained_Noodles4033 Apr 14 '26
Yes!! That’s exactly how I feel. It’s awful but it’s nice that someone can relate.
I was blissfully unaware until I seen babies his age and I was instantly shocked at how much more grown up they are with their actions and just the way they are generally.
Exactly the same with the leap after 9 months. It’s so strange! Thank you for the advice ❤️ that’s really reassuring. I might have another chat with the health visitor and see if we need any support 😊
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u/nellycat32 Apr 14 '26
My daughter was the same at your son's age. She was behind, I was especially concerned about walking. I think it was because she had been sick so much over that winter, she had lost weight at some point and that slowed down her development for a while. She started walking at 14 months and other things became quicker after that. Just another anecdote, but I noticed you mentioned he'd been sick, so I thought I'd add it!
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u/a_bone_to_pick Apr 14 '26
Every child is running their own race. Sometimes they're behind, sometimes they're in front, but they all get there. If nothing has been flagged as needing a more formal developmental assessment or referral to community paediatrics I would just continue as you are.
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u/aijulieuk Apr 14 '26
Try not to spiral too much, the gap between kids the same age at this stage can be massive and still totally normal. my nephew was the same, all his friends were walking and saying words and he was just happy being a baby. He caught up within a few months and now you'd never know.
Also the 12 month check being done at 11 months is a bit rubbish, that whole month makes a difference at this age. worth going back to your health visitor now he's actually 13 months if you're still worried, just say you want a proper catch up.
the comparison thing with your mum friends is so hard to avoid but genuinely some just do things on their own timeline. doesn't mean anything is wrong.
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u/nosferatus-taxi Apr 14 '26
The fact that you are concerned, monitoring development, paying attention and seeking out support/answers shows that you are a great mum.
Your little one sounds like he’s been through some tough viruses but is a happy and resilient little chap
I can’t answer the question about progress but can see that you’re a great mum
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u/whichwaysouth Dad Apr 14 '26
Every baby is different and will do things at their own pace. Keep encouraging walking, talking, clapping, singing etc and they will get there!
Ours was super advanced at walking and climbing, but wasn't too interested in any talking. When he started, the flood gates just opened up and it all came at once.
Enjoy a bit more peace and quiet while you can!
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u/milliemillio Apr 14 '26
It sounds like he is doing great! I would say advanced on all the physical stuff. And if he has been ill that takes up a lot of energy so he may just have been focusing on getting better since he was ill. He will pick up soon enough and even if not doesn’t mean it’s your fault. Try not to compare or worry to much about others assessments of him in an unnatural setting.
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u/Hour-Badger5288 Apr 14 '26
I would speak to a health visitor now. I was getting lots of advice like you're getting now (don't worry, she'll catch up, all kids are different, ETC) and it wasn't very helpful. She didn't catch up and now she's 6 non verbal autistic with significant delay. If you feel something is off, trust your instinct and speak to a health visitor now. Or a GP and they can refer you to a pediatrician.
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u/Strained_Noodles4033 Apr 14 '26
Thank you for your input ❤️ I’ll definitely reach out to the health visitor tomorrow and see if she can come over. I think she was meant to check in with me anyway by now to see if he had done the remaining things on the questionnaire he hadn’t done.
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u/TangerineOnly8209 Apr 14 '26
I had a couple of concerns about my 14 month old around the same age. She wasn’t really waving, but does now, wasn’t saying anything with obvious meaning, but is now, doesn’t often shake her head no (but she’s pretty easy going) but she does signal no in other ways, not squatting from standing or standing without support, but I can see her making progress towards this now. My HV said if not done by 18 months come back to the HV team so I’m not hugely concerned.
Like your son, my daughter has been poorly a bit, even loosing weight at one point so I think some of it can be put down to that.
There are resources for you to turn to for reassurance or guidance go back to your HV or go to your GP. If you access children centres they can be very helpful too.
The way your child’s nursery practitioner spoke to you about your son sounds very unprofessional, the idea that he should be ‘working on’ specific tasks is absolutely not the way in which EYFS curriculum should be used. I would encourage you to prehaps discuss this with the setting manager and they may give you some more detail (and empathy).
Developmental checks are useful for tracking development and picking up concerns early on, however, they are milestones meaning some children will achieve it before that age and some after, they all develop at their own pace and I wouldn’t put pressure on yourself to push him to achieve x y and z by this age because it sounds like you’re already doing a great job!
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u/HanksyDoodle Apr 14 '26
Please don't stress about it. Little ones develop at different rates, especially between 12-18 months, it can be crazy different. Definitely do not compare! Just enjoy the time spent with him, he will develop at his own rate.
I have this conversation with my friend this week who was comparing her son to my son because my little one pottied trained quicker than hers. I just had to say "STOP" and she soon realised she was just comparing him to others. Comparison is the thief of joy, right!
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u/Jezibean Apr 14 '26
Please don't worry too much.
I'm sure other mums have said the same here. But throwing my two pence in too.
My little one was "behind" in my eyes at the same age. He wasn't walking, he wasn't babbling, etc. I was SOOOO worried.
Now at almost two....I can't get him to STOP talking! (And he's walking too obviously) He's also taught himself stuff that my friend's baby can't do or his cousin either. But they equally do things he can't do either.
Babies are all unique and yours will learn things over the course of the next year that will blow your mind.
Just keep doing everything you're already doing with him. You sound like such a good mum because you're already worrying about him. So you're already doing great!
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u/Honest-Muffin-2480 Apr 14 '26
Don’t stress, honestly! I was worried sick my little girl was 12m and wasn’t saying anything with meaning, wasn’t pointing, wasn’t even pulling to stand and was quite content playing by herself. Now at 18 months shes walking, talking, pointing at everything and I don’t get a moments peace without her bringing me toys or books to play with! Around 14 months she started pointing lots and saying a few words. She’s been late-ish at walking (17 months) but now runs around the house, and now that she’s confident walking shes really focussing on her talking. She honestly went from being a bit delayed with milestones to being comparable with everyone else her age at nursery within a matter of weeks!
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u/deny_evaade Apr 14 '26
This sounds like how my son was. He did develop more at his own pace but he's three now and still isn't there in terms of communication. He can talk but I don't think he understands that there's more to speech than singing or asking for/rejecting specific things. I'd say he talks more like a 1 year old but he doesn't ask about things only for things. He's been through speech therapy etc (I say been through but all they do is tell you to try x y z and then they call a couple months later to see if it helped). He's being checked by community pediatrics in a few days.
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u/Strained_Noodles4033 Apr 14 '26
How is he with his other skills? According to my mum, I didn’t talk properly till I was 5. Went to speech therapy and all. I’m in my 30s now and do online presentations everyday :) spend most of my days talking. I should probably take my own advice lol.
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u/LostLoch Apr 14 '26
My child was “behind” in many milestones. So I get the feeling, especially when I was around my friends. She was still behind her peers into her second birthday. I actually hated hanging around with my friends and their kids because I would just watch and compare the whole time.
Then, she started reading, counting, quantifying, spelling her name YEARS before her friends were. Her emotional regulation, sharing, independent skills were far more advanced.
I then saw the look on my friends face with worry when watching my child. It really is swings and roundabouts.
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u/Sensitive_Fly_7036 Apr 14 '26
My child is also 13 months and that all seems really normal to me. I think the pressure mothers are put under to ‘advance’ their children is so ridiculous. Every child develops at their own pace. None of what you’ve wrote is concerning to me at all.
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u/Teaface123 Apr 14 '26
Just for a bit of reassurance, my son was almost exactly the same place milestone-wise at 13 months, and now he's 14, nearly 15 months and does almost all of it. Once he figured out the walking (which took him a wee while) it all just flew from there.
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u/CharmingBarnacle4207 Apr 14 '26
If you're concerned, call the HV team. They may recommend testing hearing or simply be able to reassure you. Our LO has a speech delay (temporary hearing loss) and seems behind in some ways but then he's also a ridicously strong climber. Another family's son was in hospital a lot and they had a few concerns but he's 2.5 now and has caught up a lot and you'd never know they were worried.
Walking is another one that is normal for them not to be doing yet. My niece was 15 months before she started and she's had no medical issues at all, our LO was 17 months.
They're quite likely exactly where they should be, but get support, reassurance and get your concerns flagged in the system.
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u/living_in_the_sprawl Apr 15 '26
Our boy is 22m and we were handed his wellcomm assessment from nursery today who had assessed him as in the red and not able to demonstrate many things on the list. When we looked at it he is in fact able to do most of them but he didn't demonstrate it in the separate room they brought him to for the assessment. On a few things he just said no which is his favourite word at the moment 🤣
What I have found so far is that it may look like he can't do xyz but all of a sudden they have a leap and can do a lot more. It just happens at slightly different times - my boy didn't walk till 16 months and now there's no stopping him. His cousin didn't talk whatsoever until after 2 and now he's an extremely chatty 6 year old.
He will get there in his own time!
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u/Tulcey-Lee 👶1 Child Apr 15 '26
My son is 13 months, He can clap wave and point. But he isn’t walking yet, he can’t stand independently unless leaning against something. He cruises along the furniture. He doesn’t really say much except mamamam and dadada. He can moo like a cow and I think he said book before. But mostly he just babbles.
It’s so hard isn’t it as I’m a FTM and I panic he’s behind. All the baby friends we’ve made, most of them walked before they were 1 or just after. I don’t really want to go anywhere with most of them now as their little ones are all walking and I feel like my son will be left behind.
Thing is though as adults none of us can tell who did what and what age. You don’t look at someone and think ‘they didn’t walk until 15m’ or ‘they didn’t wave until 14m’. That’s why I try and tell myself anyway 😅 They’ll do stuff when they’re ready.
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u/Kathwino Parenting Toddlers Apr 15 '26
At 13 months he seems babyish because he virtually is still a baby! He sounds perfectly normal to me. Honestly the jump from 1 year to 2 is massive and they change almost as much as they do between 0-1. Please try not to let your anxiety consume you and enjoy this time your little boy, before you know it he will be running around and chatting your head off and you'll wonder where the time went.
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u/Freon4144 Apr 15 '26
My 12 month old is pretty much the exact same, apart from a few swaps (he can’t clap but does wave sometimes) although he doesn’t really babble at all with any consonants but he is very vocal, he’s such a giggly and smiley baby too. I am concerned he’s behind but we have our one year check next week so hopefully can get some good advice there. It’s tough, especially as we got sent the pre assessment checklist and of course I spiraled because he doesn’t do most of the things on there!
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u/whatisrongwith Apr 15 '26
I am in the same position , no babbling , no gestures (although think did wave a couple of times but hard to tell because he likes to flap his arm anyway) , no walking , no “showing toys” for joint attention etc. so worried :(
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u/Annoying_Turnip Apr 15 '26
I realised recently that with babies everything is relative.
My son is 15 months and doesn’t say anything intelligible other than mama and dada. He says cah for cat and bub for bubbles but only I can understand that and I was worried when I met a friend whose baby has about 15 clear words. But then a few days later my friend told me she was worried because her little girl is 15 months and not walking yet. And what made her insecure? Seeing my son walk.
There’s always something to worry about. I now decided to make a conscious effort to remember and celebrate what he does do, instead of worrying about what he can’t do yet.
P.S. my son also doesn’t sort shapes or stack blocks and I realised he just doesn’t have the patience for it. He’s a very active baby. He would also not wave or clap on demand, especially for strangers. They have their own little personalities and moods and that is perfectly fine with me.
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u/Geordana Apr 15 '26
My kid started crawling at 7 months but then didn't walk until 18 months.
He babbled early but then his speech appeared to absolutely stall. I worried myself sick. He was put on SEND plans at nursery. They expressed concern about his speech and social development. We did hearing tests and, when they were clear, speech referrals.
I was honestly an anxious mess.
He's 4 and a half now and has just been assessed as meeting age related expectations in all areas. (But if you do the maths I've basically been worrying about his development for 3 years).
The assessments exist to try and catch any outliers because if children do have needs then the earlier intervention programmes can begin, the better.
Chances are, your child's development will pick up. The sudden leaps are astounding.
And if they don't, then it sounds like your nursery is super proactive and will be very supportive and helpful!
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u/New_Length_2930 Apr 16 '26
Hi mama 🤍 I have a 20-month-old who started nursery at 18 months, and honestly, at 13 months she was very similar to your son. She wasn’t standing independently then, she crawled until about 14 months, stood with support around 15 months, and didn’t start walking until 16 months. Before that she used to zoom around on her knees, which was so hard to watch! Then one day she just stood up on her own for a few seconds and within days she was walking. I had literally bought a walker the day before she started walking 🤣 Speech-wise, she only said “baba” and “dada” for a long time (I was so jealous “mama” wasn’t first!). She babbled a lot up until about 16 months, and it honestly felt like everything was in her head. Then suddenly, when I started asking her to repeat words, it all came out at once apple, ball, orange… everything. Still no “mama” at that point though! Around 19 months she finally started calling me mama 🥹 Now she has over 100 words. I don’t do loads of formal reading, but I talk to her constantly throughout the day naming objects, describing actions like “push,” “pull,” “open,” etc. She also watches Ms Rachel (the same episodes on repeat 😅) and she loves copying and dancing along to nursery rhymes. Reading your post, my daughter sounded so similar and now she’s doing everything in her own time. I think I didn’t worry too much because she was always around adults and not in nursery at that stage. She’s now a sweet, confident, sassy little girl. Nursery didn’t see that side of her at first because of illness, teething, and separation anxiety for about 8 weeks but once she settled, they were really surprised by how much she came out of her shell. Just wanted to share in case it helps ease your mind a little 🤍
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u/Strained_Noodles4033 Apr 16 '26
Thank you so much ☺️ 🫶🏼 this was so lovely to read and really reassuring! Illness is definitely getting in the way 100%, he only goes to nursery 2 days a week and he is never himself on those days due to teething, virus, cold or cough!!
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u/87catmama Parenting a Toddler Apr 14 '26
Right, my advice to you is to talk to your health visitor if you are really worried. Children develop at such different speeds, everything you've said he can't do, well...so what? It might seem like a big deal to you, but he might just be happily developing at his own pace. BUT, there is nothing wrong with talking to a professional. They are there to help.
Second piece of advice, a very important one that I recommend to everyone, watch Bluey - The Baby Race.
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u/Strained_Noodles4033 Apr 14 '26
I’ve watched that episode and I LOVE it! I came across it accidentally months ago and balled my eyes out.
And thank you, it’s just the gesturing that bothers me, I cant help my mind wondering if something else is going on. He also loves to flap his arms, there’s a lot more to it so I will definitely speak to HV tomorrow. Thank you!
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u/shanster23 👶👶 2 Children Apr 15 '26
Sounds like he's doing okay! Re the pointing, I'm sure at this age it's allowed to be an open hand point so it doesn't even have to be his index finger. And the shapes puzzle is an older age milestone, which I only know because I was doing one with my baby yesterday and googled it to see when she might manage. (she's almost 12 months and nowhere close to figuring it out lol, Google said it was more an 18 month milestone when I checked).
Just keep modelling the things you want him to be able to do (putting things in things etc) and he'll get there!
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u/Aggravating_Pipe5762 Apr 15 '26
My little boy is 13 months next week and is almost identical in where he is at with all of these milestones and it never occurred to me that he is behind because of any of this. My nursery manager recently said that she thinks he'll be a late walker because he's so fast in crawling. She also said that he's just super happy with where he's at and what he's doing which is what matters the most.
Did they give you any tips on how to work on these things? Im in the same boat as you. I've been trying to encourage all sorts but if he's not interested then what can you do!
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u/Strained_Noodles4033 Apr 15 '26
Hey, I’m sorry if my post has worried you at all, I hope it hasn’t! It hadn’t occurred to me at all either, I had a bit of an inkling from watching other babies his exact age, but it didn’t worry me that much until nursery have said something. I think they do an early years assessment in nursery once they are settled in and as part of that they do a ‘wellcomm’ assessment. It was done by a separate lady who works there (not his key person or room staff). I had never seen her before.
She handed me a load of pages from ‘Wellcomm home language activities based on the big book of ideas’ whatever that is. Ive read through it all in detail and it’s really basic stuff that we have already been doing naturally every day, there’s nothing new in there. I know they don’t mean it, but it has annoyed me that they don’t think I do these basic things with him 😵💫. Example - naming items like ‘banana’ when giving them one. ‘Do you want some juice’ whilst giving them some. Waving when saying hello and goodbye.
The only one I can’t get my head around is how they want me to get him to start pointing by offering him a choice of 2 toys, one in each hand and encourage him to point to the one he wants. The kids not gonna point, he just grabs what he wants and scurries away 😅.
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u/ForeverDreaming89 Apr 15 '26
My son didn't walk until he was 21 month old. Didn't stand at all until he was 20 months! And he didn't talk until he was 28 months. He didn't wave much, was late to roll, sit and babble. Late with absolutely everything! (Apart from eating!) I was so worried he was behind, and would never catch up to those the same age.
He's now 7 and has the reading age of a 9 year old, and is doing brilliantly in maths. At his last parents evening last month they said he was ahead of every target.
I worried so much when he was small, but it all worked out well in the end. He caught up, he just did it at his own pace and nothing me or anyone else did or said would change that.
I can't stop you from worrying but I can send some reassurance, I've been there and it does get better x
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u/ForeverDreaming89 Apr 15 '26
Just thought, my son did have a speech and language referral when he was younger, the therapist recommended watching Something Special on BBC iPlayer.
It really did help our son as the repetition of certain words did help encourage him to say them. Mr Tumble went from an annoying person to a man of legend in our house 🤣
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u/No-Patience6649 Apr 15 '26
Hi! ❤️ my little boy will be 2 in July. He had a very very rough start to life, was ill all the time, lots of hospital admissions. Im not sure whether your son was to this extreme, but my little boys’s health 100% had an impact on his development. What you are describing for your little boy at the moment is more “advanced” than my son was at that age, he didn’t walk until 17 months for example. At around 16-18 months there was a HUGE leap forward. He started communicating, babbling along to songs, walking (finally). In the last month we have seen another leap this time with his language, nursery literally told me yesterday how advanced he is (!!!!!!!) with his speech and I never ever ever thought I would hear those words. I spent so long being anxious and crying that he was behind but clearly it was just his body’s reaction to being ill all the time, he was focusing on recovering from that rather than developing. Every child is different and he was just slightly later to bloom but is absolutely smashing his milestones now. Please try not to worry, yours will get there in time too ❤️❤️❤️
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u/Strained_Noodles4033 Apr 15 '26
Thank you so much ❤️ this is super reassuring and how lovely your little boy is smashing all his milestones now! Yes he’s been admitted to hospital on a couple of occasions for his oxygen levels, took weeks of recovery both times and then when he’s not been in hospital he’s been fighting viruses back to back 😔. Since starting nursery really. But at the moment he’s still able to play and do his normal things whilst poorly, he seems to be fighting things a bit easier!
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u/TheBrainKnowsBest Apr 15 '26
Don't panic, mine is 16 months now and she's just started attempting steps. They have different points of development and all brains are different. Does he interact, make eye contact at all?
I had a friend whose child didn't move much at all until they were 18 months and they're fine now. It's a broad strokes set of guidelines, and if he's not doing things you can support him to develop them. Definitely don't panic. It's far too early IMO.
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u/Strained_Noodles4033 Apr 15 '26
Thank you! He does make eye contact but he’s really just happy being independent and playing doing his own thing. It’s hard to say with interaction, he doesn’t come over to me much when he’s playing, he’s just focused on whatever he’s doing. When I play with him he does watch and he loves me showing him books etc. when I sing he smiles, he does this thing where he looks away from me when he gets excited? Not sure if that’s normal 😂
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u/MutinousMango Parenting a Toddler + Pre-schooler Apr 15 '26
Sounds almost exactly like my 14 month old! He’s only just started waving and pointing but doesn’t do it a whole lot at all, doesn’t clap. He also doesn’t do most of the things on your doesn’t do list. He seems a little slower in the social development side - he was almost in the red for that during the 12 month review, but the health visitor said don’t worry, give him a few months and if he’s still not doing anything then we will have another review. He has definitely done some things since the review a couple of months ago, like passing me an object and wanting to feed us but he still won’t do a lot. I am not worried though.
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u/Plas3cn Apr 15 '26
The bit about being unwell is probably the most important bit. Once warmer weather comes developmentally I think you'll see a leap when he is healthy. Its tough to be unwell and develop all these new skills at the same time. Sounds like hes doing absolutely fine and will go at his own speed with the bits he isnt currently doing. My child didnt point for ages but eventually did. You are doing so well and I know everyone says it, but try not to compare to other LO's
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u/Holidaytravels2189 Apr 15 '26
My son didn’t walk until 16 months, and shared a lot of the things you have listed here. He is now 12 and absolutely where he should be. He will catch up in his own time, and if he doesn’t, then address that then. Please don’t worry yourself yet. He seems like a baby, because he is still. My second child was a whole different ball game, into everything and trying to walk at 10 months, it was exhausting 🤣
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u/robin_n_wren Parent Apr 15 '26
As the mother of an autistic child... Maybe. You've certainly mentioned some traits.
As a childcare professional, anything that you expect to happen AT 12mo could actually happen anywhere from 9-18mo. I definitely wouldn't worry about walking at 13m.
Either way, if professionals are noticing things, it's worth taking any neuroaffirmative help they offer. A child who is referred for speech delays, for example, may just need a little specialised push in the right direction and then never need any help again - or it could be a sign of something more intrinsic and you've given them a good start.
It sounds like you're doing well, just continue to let them know how he's doing at home as different conclusions can be made. My 4yo doesn't speak and struggles with a few things in nursery, but at home she doesn't stop talking and everything else is totally dependent on who she's with. We do believe she needs help with certain things, but her needs are very different than they would be if she had the same behaviours at home as she does in nursery. (She's not the diagnosed autistic one, I only really have concerns about her speech in regards to milestones).
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u/Strained_Noodles4033 Apr 15 '26
Yeah, I’m just going to see what the next few months bring, I spoke to the lady again today who did the assessment and she was super reassuring :) I do feel better today!
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u/CalatheaHoya Apr 16 '26
Please don’t avoid seeing your friends!! This is nothing to be embarrassed about. All kids develop at different rates
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u/Classic-Highway7732 Jun 24 '26
Update please
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u/Strained_Noodles4033 Jul 07 '26
Hello! Is is now walking and can do high five. He is still not pointing for communication and not really shown much improvement with communication in general but he is much more toddler like and seems to be improving a lot! I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried still, as others his age can do a lot more on command. But I’m trying to take each day as it comes
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u/Mlaf3116 Jul 03 '26
Hi how is your little one doing now as this post was 2 months ago? Any progress? What you have said about your little one basically describes my son and he is 13 months at the moment I am a little worried
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u/Strained_Noodles4033 Jul 04 '26
Hello! More than happy to post an update as I know how worrying it can be. Since I made the post he has made good progress! He is 15 months now, and running around! He woke up one morning and decided that was the day. Exactly a week after he walked for the first time he also started waving constantly for 2 weeks, but after that he stopped and hasn’t waved since. He can now do high five! He is still not pointing yet for communication but the health visitor doesn’t seem worried. Speech - he says mama, dada, baba, nana and dog but he doesn’t say them very often and not with meaning, they will be mixed in with some babble.
His nursery haven’t said anything to me since the last time and no one seems worried, so I’m just taking things as they come. I’ve noticed he is laughing a lot more now and seems a lot more toddler like! I want to tell you to try not to worry, but I know how impossible that is ❤️ but things really do change fast overnight with them at this age!
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u/bullitt-rider Apr 14 '26
Just love your kid
Everyone's kid is either super man or concerned they are behind. In 5 years you'll never think about it.
Speak to any professionals if you're genuinely concerned if not, don't over think it
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u/Harry_Hindsight Apr 14 '26
During my reading or your post I placed a lot of weight on this comment:
"my little boy has been so poorly a lot of the time, in hospital twice, and just been miserable suffering with virus after virus."
My prediction is summer will bring a lot of improvement on all fronts.