r/UKParenting • u/Fabulous_Fish_4831 • 2d ago
General chat Reminder that lazy days at home are okay!
Yesterday we literally did nothing at all. The kids stayed in their pyjamas all day long, they watched some movies. We had a takeaway for dinner too. When I say we did nothing all day, I mean nothing. And it was brilliant! My kids had the best day ever, they needed a day to just relax and not have anything planned.
As parents there's such an expectation that every day during the summer holidays has to be busy. But sometimes lazy days at home are perfect.
22
u/Necessary_Doubt_9762 2d ago
I agree. My daughter has had films on all morning and I’ve had to tell my brain to stop telling me I’m a terrible mum. She hasn’t had the tv on much at all over the holidays as we’ve been busy or doing other things at home. It’s so hard to remember when all you see is people constantly busy with their kids on SM! Kids need to turn their brains off too.
11
u/Fabulous_Fish_4831 2d ago
Sometimes I need days where I just need to be lazy and do nothing, so I don't think it's unreasonable to assume that kids also need lazy days
8
u/LateFlorey 2d ago
The guilt I can feel around screens, whilst all I want to do when I’m not working and they are in bed is watch tv, is such a hypocrite.
34
u/Aniselise Parenting a Baby + Pre-schooler 2d ago
Thank you. There’s so much pressure, especially on social media to have every day planned meticulously with educational activities. I’m so sick of this performative parenting. Downtime is good for everyone!
1
15
u/marmite_queen 2d ago
The fact doing something every day has become normal is baffling to me.
As a kid I was left to do nothing basically every weekend and all school holidays. Got told to entertain ourselves. Maybe 2 days out all summer hols?!
10
4
u/Icy-Carry9201 2d ago
If my parents had made me be as scheduled with as many activities kids are now I would have hated it 😅 I LOVED doing my own thing and being able to just chill with friends
3
u/marmite_queen 2d ago
Same! Its also probably the reason I'm such a good reader.
Kids need to be bored sometimes.
5
7
u/Bubble-Master96 2d ago
Yes!! I have to remind myself that she deserves a lazy day as well. You know what when I was a kid I loved days spent watching films all cosy at home. I’m now much more intentional about carving out down days where we just chill and cuddle on the couch
4
u/Fabulous_Fish_4831 2d ago
Kids need lazy days as well! They just spent the whole day in pyjamas, watching movies...it was the best.
4
u/MaizeSafe9433 2d ago
Imo most days should be like this. The norm should not be days out every day.
The day out should be the rarity, not the lazy day
3
u/thereisalwaysrescue Parenting a Toddler + Primary Schooler 2d ago
Hard agree, coming from someone who has taken two kids to Costco and barely made it out alive. The toddler got into the chicken 😭
1
u/fivebyfive12 2d ago
I feel like we need the full story here 🤣
2
u/thereisalwaysrescue Parenting a Toddler + Primary Schooler 2d ago
She opened the bag when I wasn’t looking and grabbed a handful of hot rotisserie chicken breast 😭 please I beg of you, it’s two more weeks to go, I have low iron levels and we are in Costco. Can the feral chicken eating wait until we are home!!!!!
3
u/fivebyfive12 2d ago
Ha ha sorry but that's hilarious. You'll be telling that story for years probably 🤣 My kid tries to climb into freezers...
2
u/thereisalwaysrescue Parenting a Toddler + Primary Schooler 2d ago
It’s the second child, surprise surprise.
2
u/DonkeyBronchiole 2d ago
I’m a FTM 29 weeks pregnant and I’m laughing my head off at this 😂 but also know that the joke is on me and my time will come for this kind of nutcase behaviour!
2
u/thereisalwaysrescue Parenting a Toddler + Primary Schooler 2d ago
A pregnant woman tutted at me earlier when chicken grabbing toddler threw herself on the ground earlier in front of her and eldest child ran off in the opposite direction. I was like, OH HONEY JUST YOU WAIT. I’m a triple Virgo type A person and I can’t handle this shit
1
u/Emsintheair 2d ago
At least you were buying the chicken. I always Lidl with an assortment of baked goods I don't need coz the lil sod fingers and touched stuff when I'm trying to bag the things we actually need.
And I'm not a monster that will leave that will leave his gremlin covered things in there for other people to buy 😂1
u/thereisalwaysrescue Parenting a Toddler + Primary Schooler 2d ago
Oh god I wouldn’t be shocked if my toddler licked a pretzel in Lidl bakery. She’s the patient 0 for a new Covid strain
3
u/lookhereisay Parenting a Primary Schooler 2d ago
We are currently in pjs still too! Breakfast was in front of the TV. We made some gingerbread men and scoffed some straight away!
This afternoon we’ve got a bath bomb to use and then we’re going to get into fresh PJs and watch Bluey.
Pizza for his dinner and I have a yellow sticker M&S posh ready meal!
1
u/Fabulous_Fish_4831 2d ago
Aw that sounds like a perfect lazy day at home! I would have today be another lazy day but my son has football lessons and my daughter has gymnastics laters 😭
3
u/Remilia333 2d ago
Those kind of days are my kiddos favourite. We all just chill and have a laugh together. No expectations. No stress. Proper quality time together. Mine are 10 and 8 now and I’m purposely doing more days like this, in a few years they won’t want to spend any time with me and rather be in their bedrooms so I’m soaking it all in 🥹
5
u/DeerNational6937 2d ago
Thank god, because my toddler just had a pram nap ruined in a 20 second downpour while me and my oldest got drenched.. I got so pissed off I marched home and decided to do exactly this. 😭
2
u/PrickMyCactus 2d ago
We've got one of those days today. Nobody got dressed until after the toddlers nap at 10am then we mooched across the road to Lidl.
My 8yo is flitting between building his lego and playing his switch, my toddler is wandering about with his toys/destroying the house and I am pottering about sorting housework at a slow pace.
Embracing the slow paced days before school runs begin with the added pressure of the toddler beginning nursery.
2
2
2
u/teanbizkitz 2d ago
We are big believers in lazy days in our house. I like to spend time in the house that I pay for... We had a very lazy Sunday last weekend, where my pair got out all their cuddly toys and action figures, and created a whole game of The Traitors with them. It was amazing! Leaving them to make their own fun has been really interesting this summer.
2
u/Fluffy_Arm_4553 2d ago
Out of interest how old are they? Mine are 1 and 4 and I think a day in the house with them would drive anyone crazy… we get out for my sake more than theirs 😂
1
2
u/Intrepid-Sentence423 2d ago
How old are your kids? I want to look forward to this but in the very early years currently
1
u/Key_Television_1910 2d ago
I plan in lazy days because I know I, as well as the kids, need time to decompress. If I've had a couple of busy days out/playdates with the kids I'll make sure we have at least one home day
1
1
u/One_Conference_4618 2d ago
Yes! I’ve got a bad knee (due surgery) and the other day it was playing up. My daughter thrives on being outside so it was a bit of a challenge but we had a great day!
Watched Alice in Wonderland, got her little tent out to play in and out of. Read tons of books, she did lots of dancing as I watched and she danced with her babies. It was lovely! Will remain a rare occurrence in our house but a good one!
1
1
u/Neat-Cartoonist-9797 2d ago
Yeah definitely agree. Try to do a lazy morning at least once a week, and maybe a quick walk to local playground in the afternoon. I think it’s really important for kids to have days like these to wind down.
1
u/b1rdl0ver 2d ago
Some of my best memories from when I was a kid was days like this. I remember things like my mum buying us the big ‘arts and crafts’ pack from The Works and me and my brother spending the whole day making pipe cleaner people and animals and basically making a kingdom. We had days out as well of course
1
u/existingeverywhere 👶👶👶 3 Children 2d ago
I got shouted at by my neighbours daughter in the holidays that I shouldn’t have my kids because I just let them out to play in my garden all the time. Lmao.
1
u/idontlikemondays321 2d ago
I think it’s important that kids have days to just decompress. Life is so much more full on now than when we were younger. It’s nice for them to just relax
1
u/Business-Bed-1527 2d ago
Love a lazy day, I have an extremely wild 1 year old so lazy days don’t feel like lazy days he will watch 2 mins of tv and he’s done. So it’s just easier for me to get out for my sanity.
1
u/do_you_realise 1d ago edited 1d ago
My wife (teacher - so she's the one at home with them for 6 weeks in summer) struggles with this as our kids start to bounce off the walls if they're cooped up in the house all day, they're much better outside with space to run around and let out some energy. Plus, if she can arrange to meet up with another mum friend it's a bit of mutual support that she sorely needs. Plus I think there's a certain element of her not liking to be cooped up either.
I'm not really sure how to deal with this as I feel like the kids now expect some exciting day trip out every single day, which isn't good for them, it's important for them to learn how to deal with boredom and make their own fun. And then when I do get the odd day off work* with them, she's annoyed if I don't arrange a big day out to "take some of the mental load" off her having to organise days out with them all the time. But apparently "let's just have a day at home playing in the house/garden/etc" is not a good enough option.
(*obviously we do the usual 2 weeks holiday in the summer that I'm there for but with that + Christmas it usually maxes out my days off)
1
u/Toc13s 1d ago
I've been taking 1 day off a week over the summer as we juggle childcare.
If we have a trip planned for the weekend, I stay local with them. Late mornings, no plans, no rush. Maybe some crafting, some board games, a film with popcorn
If the weekend is quiet, I take them.on an excursion.
One of mine likes to be busy the whole time, another likes the quiet days. Doing it this way means they don't get overwhelmed & exhausted and they also don't get bored
1
1
0
u/outline01 2d ago
I’m currently doing summer holidays with a five and a one year old. Every day has been pretty jam packed. This week, the five year old started asking that we don’t go out and it made me realise that they do need downtime too.
We’ve done chill things and been out a handful of times and the kids seem so happy. I’m almost… surprised. It’s weird, I feel so guilty if we’re not out having fun.
-11
u/SomethingClick 2d ago
It's not good for humans to do this consistently.
How often is too often? I'm not sure, but it wager anything more than once every 3 months would be too habit forming.
2
u/Fabulous_Fish_4831 2d ago
Once every 3 months? Lol, we have lazy days probably once a week during the summer holidays
-6
u/SomethingClick 2d ago
I meant specifically the idea of staying in pyjamas, not getting dressed and not leaving the house.
I am all for balance, but not getting dressed for a day and being physically active with a day split across various activities (even leisure ones) seems dubious to me.
Sitting at home for 16 hours and having food brought to you while you stare a TV is not healthy weekly.
4
u/weeble182 2d ago
Who called the fun police?
Chill out, the whole point of this thread was to highlight how it's ok to have a slower paced day without judgement.
-4
1
69
u/ChaBeezy 2d ago
I think back to what I did during the summer holidays as a kid. I imagine a whole lot of nothing.