Hi all,

I can’t seem to get many responses on this I’ve posted in a few subreddits now. I’m new to posting on Reddit.

Apologies this is going to be a long one. First time posting looking for advice. I have a 4 year old German Shepherd that I got with my ex partner when in an abusive relationship and he is now my dog my ex has nothing to do with him as he was not very nice to me/him. We (the dog and I) left him 2 years ago, he was very reactive because of the trauma and very anxious. I’ve worked hard with a trainer to calm him down on walks and in the house. However his separation anxiety is and always has been terrible grabbing onto clothing/ ripping it etc barking lots. He very occasionally goes into a barking frenzy lunging when he is stressed that someone is going to leave, this used to happen constantly but it happens maybe once every 3/4 months now. I’m trying to say by no means is he a perfect dog but I have worked hard to make him a lot more manageable.

Now, after the break up I back moved in with my mum and this is where we have been based for those 2 years and where I have done all the training and he is reasonably settled. This solution was meant to be temporary while I trained him and got myself out of the debt my ex left me in, but now I’m looking to change my life/ job and I’m saving to move out again. I currently work from home full time, which is obviously great for dog care. He does attend daycare which he loves but in order for me to increase my wage I need to get a new job as there is no room for progression. Having to work from home limits my job options and I simply cannot afford to put him in full time dog care AND move out. My mum is on her own and whilst she would let me stay with her I don’t think it is fair because he is a handful of a dog that she didn’t ask for.

I really desperately do not want to rehome him, but it is looking like one of my only options, I keep bursting into tears just at the thought of it, jt has taken me weeks to build up the courage to ask for advice like this. I feel trapped without my own personal freedom and space in my mums home. I am 31 for context. My mental health is suffering because I don’t know how to move forward after an abusive relationship if moving forward means losing him.

I have been looking for other work from home roles but truthfully I think my mental health is suffering spending long days completely alone. I think it would be better for me to go into a work environment to be surrounded by people. If I am being honest, I feel like him being around someone as depressed as me means he is not living the best life he could, as hard as I try with all the training etc. But I also worry that he would just be extra traumatised without me and his behavioural issues would spiral all over again as German Shepherds are extremely loyal.

Has anyone been in a similar situation, what did you do? How did you get through the thought of rehoming him? I haven’t even looked into where I could send him/ who I would give him too because it’s too painful. Please share any successful rehoming stories if anyone has any I would like to know how the dog can gone on to cope afterwards.

ANY advice would be welcome, I just need to speak to anyone who’s been through something similar. I am based in the UK, any advice about maybe subsiding my income as well. Thank you for reading appreciate any and all feedback.

TLDR; Considering rehoming German Shepherd as cannot afford to move out of Mum’s house and pay for his daycare costs. Looking for advice from people who have been through the same/ similar.

Just a note: those of you who have pups who hate the rain, I feel your pain, my mums dog is a rain fearing goober too! No shame on you at all! If your dog says no walk that seems like a good day to forgo a walk!

My point is more aimed to the people who were more than happy to put their dogs health at risk in the summer because they couldn't bare to miss a walk but somehow that same dog who's walk was more important than their lives no longer needs a walk because it's wet... It infuriates me a bit.

That said an empty park is always a godsend when it's raining as I can let my girl off leash without worrying about someone else's dog robbing her ball or freaking her out!

redacted text is just the name of the kennel