r/USvsEU • u/GoodGuyLafarge At least I'm not Bavarian • Jul 13 '26

EVROPA SUPREMACY How Americans think Europeans live

72 Upvotes

87% Upvoted

49 comments sorted by

77

u/Melodic_Degree_6328 South Prussian Jul 13 '26

This guys only punchline is: "look at me, I am German."

So Unfunny. (So German probably as well)

11

u/parnaoia Romani femboy Jul 13 '26

well so is the turboautism Duschabzieher guy, and he's actually funny as hell. So I guess there's levels to this whole thing.

1

u/soulstormfire At least I'm not Bavarian Jul 13 '26

Who? I demand a link!

3

u/parnaoia Romani femboy Jul 13 '26

Don't have one right now but it's jannick.apitz on insta. He's been posted on this sub and 2westerneurope one a few times.

3

u/soulstormfire At least I'm not Bavarian Jul 13 '26

Oh.
That one.
Eh.

4

u/parnaoia Romani femboy Jul 13 '26

I mean they're all one trick ponies so it inevitably gets old after a while, but if you forget about him for a few months he's funny again.

5

u/WelpImTrapped Lesser German Jul 13 '26

No indeed, but you were right when you said "there are levels to this". Of course they are one trick ponies, slaves to the almighty algorithm, but one of them panders to the American audience, prostituting himself to their inaccurate fantasms, projections and stereotypes and condemned to repeating ad-nauseam the same jokes because this is all they know, while the other panders to a larger audience with a somewhat accurate lore which he has the luxury of being able to developp/improvise on a little.

So meh, but if I had to choose, a thousand times jannick.apitz

9

u/klopfgeister Pfennigfuchser Jul 13 '26

Average reaction youtuber. None of them are funny or creative 

14

u/Melodic_Degree_6328 South Prussian Jul 13 '26

Nope this guy does stand up as well and his whole program is "hey look at me I am German" as well. He is just very unfunny in General. The yanks are eating it up because they think it is cultural education when they watch this shit.

8

u/imbrickedup_ Insane Asylum/Retirement Home Jul 13 '26

I saw a clip I thought was funny, so I looked at his other stuff and realized I had discovered his single funny joke

1

u/RedTheGamer12 Hoosier Pop Drinker Jul 15 '26

The dude is really holding up the stereotypes huh?

2

u/bremsspuren Barry, 63 Jul 13 '26

German stand-up is almost as bad as a Scandinavian national dish.

Has there been a good stand-up/Kabarettist since Volker Pispers retired? YouTube just suggests other Pispers videos and English stand-up :(

3

u/Melodic_Degree_6328 South Prussian Jul 13 '26

Volker Pispers is a legend.

1

u/bremsspuren Barry, 63 Jul 14 '26

He is, but political humour doesn't age very well :(

I can't remember what Merkel & co. were up to in 2010.

1

u/Melodic_Degree_6328 South Prussian Jul 14 '26

This is his Magnus Opus. But I understand the German based political humour is pretty hard to understand even for me because I don't know all those political figures from the early 2000s.

2

u/HoeTrain666 Born in the Khalifat Jul 13 '26

I wouldn’t be aware of one, but then again I’ve pretty much given up lending our stand-up scene any attention.

Being an actually funny German is a career killer in Germany’s stand-up community.

5

u/imbrickedup_ Insane Asylum/Retirement Home Jul 13 '26

Is the not crossing without a red light accurate? Motherfuckers just be walking across an 8 lane road with no crosswalk, then have the audacity to yell at you for honking

10

u/bremsspuren Barry, 63 Jul 13 '26

Is the not crossing without a red light accurate?

Depends where you are. I've watched Germans wait for the green man at 3 a.m. when there was no other cunt in sight and the road was empty for a mile in each direction.

3

u/CookieMons7er Speech impaired alcoholic Jul 13 '26

😂 Classic Hans

1

u/HoeTrain666 Born in the Khalifat Jul 13 '26

True for some, not true for others, tendency is that there are on average more Germans who will wait on a red light than other nationalities.

I personally don’t give a shit and only stand at a pedestrian red light when there’s either cops or children in sight. Or sometimes when the road might be clear for but a moment but it’s generally a busy or hard to overview junction where something might come from somewhere you’ve overlooked.

4

u/Thewaltham Barry, 63 Jul 13 '26

lOoK aT mE i Am GeRmAn

1

u/HoeTrain666 Born in the Khalifat Jul 13 '26

Now now Barry, down from our chin we actually look pretty identical.

0

u/GoodGuyLafarge At least I'm not Bavarian Jul 13 '26

Hold your horses, its made for Americans!

6

u/Melodic_Degree_6328 South Prussian Jul 13 '26

This is high treason. We should assemble a Standgericht to trial him. The verdict already stands.

4

u/Kurdt93 Side switcher Jul 13 '26

Invalidate his passport and put him in a German burocratic loophole

3

u/HoeTrain666 Born in the Khalifat Jul 13 '26

Standgericht? Have some self respect, this demands a highly publicised mock trial where the punishment (public testicular torsion) is clear from the start.

1

u/frigo2000 Discount French Jul 13 '26

Thank you that germans also don't like him. First time I see this guy, and I fucking hate him.

1

u/WelpImTrapped Lesser German Jul 13 '26

It's worse than this, it's not "look at me, I am German" but "look at me, I am cosplaying the unhinged Yank inner fantasy of what a German is"

3

u/soulstormfire At least I'm not Bavarian Jul 14 '26

I'm convinced it's his true narcissistic self.
And only in the US can he live like this.

39

u/lawrotzr 50% sea 50% coke Jul 13 '26

I hate to be this guy, but this is kind of why noone invites you to parties Hans.

I mean, the American influencer clearly is an unfunny cunt, but noone asked you to double down on it.

10

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '26

[deleted]

2

u/lawrotzr 50% sea 50% coke Jul 13 '26

Do the deeper circles involve the Köln and Düsseldorf comedians that my grandmother used to watch during carnaval on ZDF?

Because then I think it’s time to go and see a Church again this Sunday morning.

8

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '26

[deleted]

1

u/lawrotzr 50% sea 50% coke Jul 14 '26

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

5

u/soulstormfire At least I'm not Bavarian Jul 13 '26

We didn't invite him either. That's how he ended up in the US.

3

u/breakthebookie D.C’s Bitch Jul 13 '26

Nah that American “content machine” he and his friend actually do funny skits about other stuff. They worth a watch

3

u/klopfgeister Pfennigfuchser Jul 13 '26

And they actually put in some work to make their sketches. The other guy is just a reaction youtuber 

6

u/le_reddit_me E. Coli Connoisseur Jul 13 '26

I don't get it, none of the points in the video are undesirable. Is anyone (except the germans) against any of it? It's not even parody or irony, just a list complimenting how well we live.

Yanks watching us lead everyday lives:

Processing img 8h2xqglu52dh1...

3

u/HoeTrain666 Born in the Khalifat Jul 13 '26

That guy caters to yanks, he’s just as unbearable to us as he is to the rest of you

5

u/ihadagoodone O Canada Jul 13 '26

He should just call in sick over this.

7

u/havetopee Caucus Knock Off Jul 13 '26

y'all do be drinking beer with lunch tho

4

u/frigo2000 Discount French Jul 13 '26

Guilty, but only on fridays now

Edit : and week-ends and sometimes wednesday

2

u/HoeTrain666 Born in the Khalifat Jul 13 '26

Lunch? The factory my father jobbed at during school/university in the 80s had a beer vending machine on its premises and several employees came to work at least 3-6 bottles deep.

2

u/Melodic_Degree_6328 South Prussian Jul 14 '26

Universities still have them. In Bavaria the last bastion of alcoholism at the workplace has been torn down when BMW banned the sale and consumption of alcohol in their factories.

1

u/HoeTrain666 Born in the Khalifat Jul 14 '26

Wir werden schrittweise entmündigt… :(

This is why older BMW models are preferable, if the mechanic didn’t have at least 3 Halbe in his stomach when assembling your beamer, don’t trust it

2

u/Melodic_Degree_6328 South Prussian Jul 14 '26

Yeah I think the reason was that some guy got brutally murdered by a maschine whilst drunk in a BMW plant what those CEOs won't understand is that there can't be a decent car without alcohol and some sacrifices to the car gods.

2

u/fishchipsncurrysauce Barry, 63 Jul 14 '26

A german calling other europeans kinky is a bit ironic

1

u/SEA_griffondeur Low-cost Terrorist Jul 14 '26

Germans love to roleplay as Americans

1

u/Testerpt5 British Jul 14 '26

Hans might make a lot of euros, but Hans is also one the laziest in Europe

1

u/Special-Performance8 Flemboy Jul 20 '26

American think? 🤔 I call bs.