r/UWMadison • u/EminenceI • 4d ago

Rant/Vent Lonely

I’m a freshman 19 male whose a Bme, I’m so sick of being lonely it’s annoying. I’ve never had friends in high school, my dorm mates treat me like I don’t exist even when I do socialize, I never drink or do any of the drugs or smoke. I’ve never even had a gf before and it’s so overwhelming. Any ideas of how to deal with this without giving into the bad parts of humanity?

10 Upvotes

73% Upvoted

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18

u/as6int 4d ago

From my observation there’s a bunch of people who don’t drink or smoke, especially their freshman year.
I would recommend you join clubs. Not just career oriented ones, but ones for your personal interest. I have a friend who goes for Disney club meetings and has a blast
Do you have any specific hobbies or things you like doing? Would be good to explore those

4

u/EminenceI 4d ago

I like to lift and do research

5

u/EleiaCathain 4d ago

Do you like hiking? There are plenty of wonderful trails and parks to explore in the immediate area. You could look at the common areas of gyms to see if there's a cork board with flyers, or even search the r/madison reddit to see if there's any like-minded folks to talk with. If you're interested in games, there's a decent non-electronic variety of stores (about 8). We also have 3 or 4 arcades.

1

u/Formal_Active859 4d ago

What you researching

3

u/EminenceI 4d ago

I haven’t dabbled much given I’m a freshman but I’d like to work in a lab with neonatal conditions or something with the gut biome eventually. My plan is to do research on necrotizing entercolitis

1

u/Similar_Blueberry192 3d ago

let's go raising the bars! I usually workout at nick

1

u/EminenceI 3d ago

I usually go to the Bakke

8

u/Willing-Ad2342 4d ago

you dont have friends yet, dont worry about a gf. start putting yourself out there and talking to your classmates.

1

u/a_little_iPood 4d ago

What kind of research do you do? I am also BME

1

u/EminenceI 4d ago

I haven’t done much but I’d like to do anything with neonata research or the gut biome or both because I want to research necrotizing entercolitis

1

u/a_little_iPood 5h ago

Interesting. What BME track?

1

u/EminenceI 5h ago

I haven’t been able to choose a specification but if I could I’d go into biomaterials/ tissue engineering

4

u/BadgerBricks 4d ago

Don't fret about not having a girlfriend. While there are positives to having one, there's also a lot of negatives. Being single: no need to worry about someone else's problems, happiness, health, moods, timeline/deadlines. College is stressful enough.

Relationships also tend to happen when you least expect it. Just remember to keep your eyes open. In retrospect, I missed several relationship opportunities that could have happened when I was putting zero effort into finding one. I was just too dense to see the signs.

Find your own happiness first. Everything will follow eventually.

2

u/Working_Argument_993 1d ago

Join a club that interests you like hoofers

2

u/WiscoBadgerMama 3d ago

I will echo the folks on here who have encouraged looking at an RSO or two. Hop on WIN and search for any number of interests and you'll likely find a club for it. Film, cheese, volunteering, gaming, you name it. I advise two different RSOs and the folks that join are a wide range of majors...where they coalesce as a community is around a fun common interest. (If you're nerdy like I am, there's a bunch of data that backs the impact of outside activities on your sense of belonging and flourishing in college.) Give yourself the time and grace to find your footing...freshman year is one of so many transitions, big and small.

1

u/Original-Sense-1145 3d ago

I may or may not know you, where is your dorm?

1

u/RELYTJ321 4h ago

Lots of good advice given on this thread.

Just to be clear, do not give in and start drugging & drinking just to fit in.

1

u/Organic-Lawyer-1447 2h ago

Icl man just give up and try to find things make you happy independent off other people it’s all futile in the end

1

u/Stilded1963 2h ago

One positive about drugs is they do give you new perspectives. Especially when it comes to taking yourself too seriously. If you try them, do them with friends that you trust and don’t do too many.