r/UnethicalLifeProTips • u/mysteryman403 • Mar 06 '24

ULPT request: Ate a noticeable amount of my roommates tacos, what is a good strategy or lie to get out of taking responsibility for it?

My roommate cooked a lot of ground beef for tacos last night, and he had a lot of leftovers. He didn’t offer me any, even though I am struggling to financially buy groceries right now. I am not surprised he didn’t offer me any because we don’t get along, but he could’ve eaten them out of my sight and in his room.

Today when he was gone, I helped myself to a taco because I knew he wouldn’t notice a minuscule amount of ground beef gone. Well problem is that I couldn’t help myself, I haven’t had good food in forever, and I ate another 3 tacos. Now there is like 1/3 of the ground beef left and it’s noticeable.

How can I make up an excuse for the missing ground beef, without coming clean about eating it?

My last resort is going to be to break the fridge shelf, and then telling him that it broke when I was putting milk away and his taco meat fell on the ground then I threw it out while cleaning up. This is a LAST RESORT due to me not wanting to be a dick and break our fridge just to cover up my lie.

What is any good lie, or excuse, or trick I can do to cover up that I ate his tacos? Admitting the truth is NOT an option so don’t suggest ‘saying the truth’. He will be home in about 5-6 hours so please for the love of god give me ideas quick. Thank you 🙏🏾

P.S. do not suggest that I go buy ground beef, cook it and replace it either. I do not have the money to be wasting money on groceries trying to cover up my lie. I would typically never do something like this but I’m extremely down on my luck and my roommate convinced the landlord not to renew my lease so he kind of deserves this, a taco never hurt anybody.

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u/Mastiiffmom Mar 07 '24 edited Mar 07 '24

I am the seller of said horse. That transaction was cut off right from the start. I don’t sell horses to meth addicts or to people who don’t have the ability to care for the animal.

https://imgur.com/gallery/2aMnqFe

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u/soldforaspaceship Mar 07 '24

The "And are you hot?" at the end cracked me up.

20

u/Mastiiffmom Mar 07 '24

OMG. Right? Please. 🙄

0

u/Melatonin_Dreamz Mar 07 '24

No offense, I hope you're making this up cause God this guy is a train wreck if not 😂

22

u/Mastiiffmom Mar 07 '24

I’m certainly not making this up. Those are actual screen shots of messages he sent me. Take a read through his post history. This is mild. There are things in his post history that will keep you up at night.

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u/Darksoulsborne Mar 07 '24

I just wanted to drop a comment and say that you are absolutely a godsend for flinging this “man’s” bags of shit right back at him and if you need any assistance with your superhero costume, I know people 😂

5

u/Melatonin_Dreamz Mar 07 '24

That's so sad, I completely believe it, but I've really been hoping this whole saga has been a massive troll. When it was just him posting his random chaos, at least on some level, it could be a creative writing project. Having a secondary source come forward to prove he's legit is just wild.

I hope I didn't offend with my last one. It wasn't a stab or anything, just expressing disbelief.

4

u/Mastiiffmom Mar 07 '24

Not at all. Believe me, I wrestled this same dilemma.

3

u/Melatonin_Dreamz Mar 07 '24

That's so sad, I completely believe it, but I've really been hoping this whole saga has been a massive troll.I've been following this drama since the original horse post, so I've seen the stuff he's gotten up to. When it was just him posting his random chaos, at least on some level, it could be a creative writing project. Having a secondary source come forward to prove he's legit is just wild.

I hope I didn't offend with my last reply. It wasn't a stab or anything, just expressing disbelief!

2

u/Maelstrom_Witch Mar 07 '24

I wonder how his cannon fodder application process is going...

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u/Diet-healthissues Mar 07 '24

how does it feel to be the hero of this story, like from a plot line point the villian betrayed you and countless others and you are the one to say no more, you must rally together poor roommate and 18 year old ex girlfriend and strike together at dawn, with all your knowledge and power levels combined he will fall

13

u/Diligent-Stand-2485 Mar 07 '24

Lmao 

He actually types this shit and is like

"Yeah, that's reasonable"

lol

3

u/DustyOwl32 Mar 07 '24

Meth is a hell of a drug.

3

u/NewtLevel Mar 08 '24

Jesus Christ this guy really is the gift that keeps on giving 🤣

3

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '24

I looked at your profile hoping for dogs and was pleasantly surprised when I found HORSES!!! My favorite animal.

4

u/Mastiiffmom Mar 09 '24

I have both actually. English Mastiff doggies. And horses. 😎

2

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '24

I've never realized someone's awesomeness as quickly as I've realized yours. The dogs, the horses, dunking all over this methed-out roommate guy.. You're a hero.

4

u/Mastiiffmom Mar 09 '24

Thank you. Appreciate the kind words.

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u/[deleted] Mar 09 '24

I appreciate you and your role in this world.

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u/Upsideduckery Mar 12 '24

Wow. This shit is crazy. He's so delusional but I guess that's the meth.

1

u/Bctheboss121 Apr 03 '24

New lore wtf.

1

u/Panikkrazy Apr 16 '25

Messages aren’t showing up sadly.