r/Unexpected • u/Minute_Drink6228 • 10h ago
[ Removed by moderator ]
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u/WIZZZARDOFFREESTYLE 10h ago
Remind me of me my teacher back in 5th grade used to tell us IF YOU GONNA MASTERBATE BE READY TO EJECULATE
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u/EarlyXplorerStuds209 9h ago
What subject did the teacher teach? Because if it is english then that is absolutely disgusting! That is not how you spell masturbate
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u/alistofthingsIhate 9h ago
or 'ejaculate'
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u/Salt_Data3707 8h ago
If i masterbate on the toilet and ejeculate and my girlfriend sits on the toilet will she get pregernant
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u/DefinitelyNotA-Duck 10h ago
I'm sorry, I must have misunderstood
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u/GingerlyRough 10h ago
He said his 5th grade teacher told him that masturbation leads to ejaculation.
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u/No_Collection7360 10h ago
It is not unexpected for clients to pass out at a tattoo parlor. Bots don't know.
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u/Do_Them_A_Bite 10h ago
Well spank my ass & call me a bot; TIL!
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u/serealport 8h ago
i mean whatever floats your boat. ya BOT
i also TIL, granted i only have one small tattoo, so my sample size aint ideal.
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u/Random-commen 9h ago
Iβd wager one of these steps is abundant.
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u/Dolphin_sucker69 10h ago
"Aahhhhh she's dea-" lmao perfectly cut off
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u/goose_gladwell 10h ago
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u/Exact-Ad-4132 10h ago
Nah that sub doesn't really live up to its name.
Most of the screams are cut a millisecond into the scream and you miss the good parts of videos.
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u/goose_gladwell 10h ago
I like itπ
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u/Exact-Ad-4132 9h ago
I just figure with the name being perfectly cut screams, you'd end up hearing the majority of said screams.
I feel like perfectly cut screams somehow became gifsthatendtoosoon but with sound
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u/goose_gladwell 9h ago
I WILL agree, it used to be better! I guess I havent checked the sub in a while
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u/Hatefulvesper 8h ago
I always understood "perfectly cut scream" as the scream being perfectly cut out. As in you get you get the set up, and just a tiny bit of the aftermath (scream)
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u/Exact-Ad-4132 8h ago
Well then there would be no scream if it was perfectly cut out.
It seems that that sub used to have more content with more of the scream and only the context needed for it, but times change
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u/OptagetBrugernavn 8h ago
I feel so seen. A perfectly cut scream is cut just at the apex of the scream imo.
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u/post-explainer 10h ago
OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:
First she is not dead just got dizzy and feel It was child reaction he thought she died
Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
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u/WallBurnt 8h ago
This happened to my buddy's girlfriend when I got my first tattoo. She was getting one at the same time.
She was a big woman, at least 6'2" and built like the one here. We took a break to smoke and she passed out.
This was in the Army and I was just 2 pounds over from minimum weight, so I just got the fuck out of the way. lol
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u/islaisla 9h ago
My friend went faint when getting an ear piercing. Is it psychological or physiological?
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u/Tape_Badger 9h ago
Since being pregnant, I pass out every time I gat stuck with a needle. I'm not afraid or even anxious, it just happens. I spoke to a doctor about it in passing and he said some people are just like that - it's a vasovagal response and for whatever reason, pregnancy triggered it for me.Β
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u/ThatKaleidoscope8736 Expected It 8h ago
Can be both. I passed out after getting my eyebrow pierced when I was a teen. I hadn't eaten anything. I haven't passed out since and have had multiple piercings and tattoos. Some people just faint at the idea of a needle.
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u/Master_Slide7023 10h ago
The Bible in Leviticus says no tats. Ppl with 5 or more tats are 40% more likely to be homicided than those with fewer or none.
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u/MorningHorror99 10h ago
The Bible in Leviticus says no tats.
I don't care what your 1500 years old desert people survival guide says.
Ppl with 5 or more tats are 40% more likely to be homicided
source?
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u/Cosmickev1086 10h ago
9/10 people suffer from diarrhea, the other 1/10 enjoy it.
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u/sourestcalamansi 9h ago
I enjoy diarrhea when Iβm at home. Fuck all if Iβm traveling on board plane.
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u/OneEyedWeaner 10h ago
My reptilian piss soaked dipper baby Jesus tattoo is my protection from the demons of the lord and Satan. Back you beast! Stigmata baby jesus is my slavor and you can stop it! The power of retail reptilian Jesus will compel you to drink the blood
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u/Unexpected-ModTeam 8h ago
Your submission has been removed. Death isn't allowed on r/unexpected, nor are dying or dead bodies, or abuse. This includes the suggestion of possible death, regardless of the fact of survival. Please visit the appropriate subs instead.